Friday, January 15, 2016

Hash Trash 1811

The Hash was hosted by Cunning Linguist at his Babylonian abode in Vaivase. He had set the run Saturday with predictable effects viz confusion. The walkers had a leisurely stroll around the neighbourhood, while the runners were suitably stressed as the trail had been swept away in several places. Nevertheless they did get to have a sweat out in the afternoon warmth, and returned on home to the nuts and beer.

POD returned as GM, and asked for those new to Hash to come forward, and that was Phil, Jessica’s husband. The retreads were StrapOn, Jill, POD, Alex, Anita, Jessica, BB, Kristiane, Nom Nom, Lewinsky and Bacon & Eggs. Anita repeated due to costume error in the form of a hat.

Celebrity Awards went to Lewinsky and Godfather (Observer reporting on tourism promotion) and Captain Mortein for Slim Shady (story on what to do in Samoa, omitted mini-golf).

This Day in History Awards went to StrapOn as CLR for Gayboy (1787 – William Herschel discovers Titania and Oberon, two moons of Uranus) and Poumuli (tried to set up Lewinsky but had a crocodile on his shirt - 2015 – A mass poisoning at a funeral in Mozambique involves beer that was deliberately contaminated with crocodile bile leaving at least 56 dead and nearly 200 hospitalized).

Shoe Inspector Sunny Side Up found Nom Nom and Phil to be guilty, with Prince joining for his bedazzling shoe comment.

On the run, Cupless was given a down down for being of the opinion that it was organised well, Poumuli for thinking it had been set in Swahili, and Captain Mortein for finding the trail and not telling anyone.

On the blog issues, Bacon had emailed POD that there wasn’t a run after all, as Poumuli had posted the run on a Sunday (saying the run was today), but had corrected this on Monday morning with the correct directions. Both got the Internet Retard Award.

Nom Nom was nominated for trying to act all manly on the run, only to be beaten to the finish by a girl – Young Man You’re Too Girlie Girlie. BB nominated Godfather for Destruction of Private Property, joined by Crime for assisting and abetting a crime. We also had nominations for all the Hash Meres that didn’t accept the offer of stepping on Godfather’s knee – BB, Kristiane, POD and Samantha.

Poumuli nominated Bad Investment for causing a serious yet hilarious road accident on the run, walking on wrong side of road and stepping in front of a cyclist who did a perfect arse-over-tit spin.
Eveready reported that today was Deep Throat’s birthday and he had sent a special request that his buddy Lewinsky take a down down, which was supported by all present except one.

Poumuli nominated Bacon & Eggs for nearly breaking a leg on the run, thus requiring a Cockney Rhyming Slang Award. Poumuli also nominated Titty Galore for stating that she didn’t know why Godfather’s nuts were so small this week, to which Godfather replied its not the size but the flavour!
Cunning Linguist had initially requested that all wear shirts with a foreign language on it, but this had been lost in translation. Those who did have such shirts – Jessica, Poumuli, POD and Cunning Linguist were given the award.

StrapOn nominated Godfather for his Birthday Award joined by Wahoo on behalf of Yahoo. StrapOn was then nominated for leaning but countered that Bad Investment had been hanging! Poumuli offered an alternative Hash Song, which was easier to render without the ukulele:

The other night I dreamt a dream, a dream of woe and fear
I dreamt Vailima went on strike and there was no more beer
I dreamt of empty bottles, crates, coz everyone had quit
I know there’s Taula in the shop, but boy it tastes like sh…

BB nominated Godfather for running with an injury, but Poumuli pointed out that we are not a sporting club. The outcome of this one was not recorded.

The Hare and the Hosts – Alex, Cunning Linguist and Jill were saluted, and a feast of chilli was served.

Next week’s run will be hosted by Dawn Raid in Vailima.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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