What a wet day for a run! Rain was falling for the last few days, and was not letting up (more on the causes of this later). With no host available, the Hash was gathered at the Samoa Tourism Authority fale, where some dancing practice was going on. Luckily the Vailima truck had deposited the beer tap with the STA office, or things may have gotten out of hand. After some initial confusion, Schanelle was appointed to be a live Hare. And off he went like a rocket. Chased for a while by rethread BlowMe and newbies Jane and Simon, he relentlessly left the pack behind. The run went down Beach Road, to jeers from the merry-making crowd at On the Rocks, past the port and around Vaiala Beach, back down the Matafagatele Street and back to STA. The Hare had actually run around the Government Building, but by the time the rest caught up the Hare was waiting at the fale, so no thanks, we’ll stop here. But well done to BlowMe, Jane and Swinger for completing the torture. Nothing too eventful happened on the run – no dogs to taser, and felt good to vent off some steam to add to the sauna-like conditions in downtown Apia.
Eveready stepped in again as GM, and welcomed the newcomers to Hash. They were Simon from Melbourne, Charley and Jane from NZ, staying at Sinalei with Godfather. Charley had been briefed by Godfather, but messed up on Karaoke’s name, and the GM made all four take a dwon-down. There were many rethreads – Brazilian Wax, Kiwi, BlowMe, Bits & Pieces, Goer, Bloomin’ Luscious and Sassygirl Blowjob.
Our shoe inspector AC/DC was on hand, and he successfully identified Bloomin’ Luscious and Jane as having offended the rule on new shoes. Jane did hers with aplomb (“Too flash for Hash”), while Bloomin’ looked like she was pouring it on her shirt.
Mele was invited to pass on the Joker Award, which although she claimed she had received it for being the most charming, witty and beautiful at Hash, she was not sure whom to pass it on too. She settled for keeping it in the family and awarded it to Lesbian Vampire Killer, whereupon the beer was gone in a flash.
The GM was annoyed that the live Hare had set off at such speed, causing many to lose the trail (well, its not exactly that hard to find the way back, but anyway) and rewarded Schanelle with a large one. Celebrity Awards were given to Wahoo (repeated Lucky Foodtown commercials) and Lewinsky (ad for selling Swashbucklers). Wahoo of course was faster by a mile. The GM also invoked the Best Dressed at Hash Award for Sassygirl BJ.
Venting his spleen further, the GM had observed a Hasher turning up late, and when asked why, said that he hadn’t missed it but had done his own marathon. In disbelief at this, it was clarified that AC/DC had done a “horizontal marathon”. As this is not normal activity for Hash, at least between 17.30 and 20.00 on Mondays, AC/DC was given the For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge Award (2nd Class).
Our GM is a travelling virtuoso and while in Oz had bought a “charming” cooler for his Diet Coke. One hasher commented that the bikini motif obviously had had a brazilian wax. Who on earth would say such a thing but Brazilian Wax. He stepped forward for Voicing Thoughts No-one Else Want to Contemplate Award.
Our regular GM, Princess of Darkness, is of course away overseas, and a lot of things at Hash seem to go to the dark side in a carrying thingy. Hence the lack of beer cups this week, but not to be outdone creative use was made of a Pringles can and several bottles. Creative Architecture Awards to Karaoke and Blakey.
The GM, Eveready was pleased to see Bloomin’ back at the Hash, but was horrified that her own Father could not remember her Hash name. Bits & Pieces got a big one for this serious offence. Fully on a roll, he told of a Hash mere cavorting with rugby players to drum up some action – Screamer got the Female Action Award. And then the GM spotted Charley sitting on a table and Wahoo and Ring Ring leaning.
Having Interpol investigating you for money laundering is of course not to be sneered at, except if you have no money to launder, but apparently the GM had unearthed a Mafioso Award for Swinger. Sassygirl BJ had her arse grabbed upon arrival at Hash, but was disappointed to find that it was Ring Ring, who promptly gave the GM a demonstration of her technique for the Arsegrabbing Award. Poumuli gave an account of how Screamer had insulted his entire office for smelling of male sweat and feet, with BlowMe as a witness that she had asserted that what this office needed was some female action! Upon receiving her award she further lambasted her opinion that none in that office would get any female action.
Brazilian Wax spotted Charley on the cellphone, and called for a Rude Award – should have been Cellphonus Interruptus, but no one cared for details. As Charley reluctantly took his award, he made some offhand remark about the cost of avoiding the next one, which Wahoo mistook for using her real name. Or the story was different, but the temper tantrum cooked it for Wahoo, and she got a False Accusation Backfire Award.
Since Strangler was absent, Sassygirl BJ had been able to restrain her irritation and focus on the singing voices of others, and she nominated Simon to sing the Hash song by himself, for himself, which he did remarkably well under such unforeseen pressure. Ring Ring, having recovered her vision after her two awards, nominated Godfather for the Sexy Pants Award. The GM had been in a panic at the start of the Hash with the non-arrival of the BBQ etc., but Lewinsky helpfully pointed out that this was because for the first time in his life Snake was gainfully employed, so a large Entrepreneur Award was given to Snake.
Sassygirl BJ nominated Godfather, Swinger and Brazilian Wax for the Seafarers Award for their engagement with the voyaging canoe, which was made a large one for Swinger due to some swinging (or frigging) in the rigging. We then received the evidence for why there had been so much rain recently. Apparently the GM (and several unnamed Hashers) had performed sundry rain dances and rituals in the hope that a certain Hash mere would do the run a-la wet t-shirt, so LVK had to get her Lack of Incriminating Evidence Award. (Though I think the GM should get one next week for Pagan Ritualism!)
Charley, clearly by now colourblind and on the offense, called for anyone wearing a green singlet to get an Award in honour of St. Patrick’s Day. His target was of course the GM, though he was wearing a teal and beer coloured tanktop, and this is never a good idea to try on the GM. Blakey who was wearing a green t-shirt was thus the unintended victim.
Next week Hash will be hosted by Schanelle, Crown of Thorns and Screamer at The Scream in Siusega. COT had called for a theme of Rubik’s Cube, meaning that all have to show up with one item for each of the 6 colours of a Rubik’s Cube, then gradually exchange these with others until you end up with all single colours at the close of the evening. This sounds unduly complicated and positively unhygienic, but we shall try. (Hashers, make sure that whatever sweaty garment you use for the run gets exchanged to the brain surgeon who thought up this particular atrocity.)
The GM was concerned that not enough practice had gone into the dancing routines for the 1500th Hash, and while we did not get to see the Meres dance, he did command them to show us the moves for the Hash Anthem. This caused much hilarity especially in regards to the cumming motion – these Meres must be very lucky! Somehow this was translated into a down down for Poumuli. For the arrangements for the 1500th, Sassygirl BJ suggested an extra $5 for each hasher, to be combined with the $600 from the Veterans Association, as suggested by Snake, and that we find a suitable charity to award this to. The GM also called for action on the commemorative t-shirts and a live band. The Hare and the Host, Schanell and Sassy, with Schanell taking a double for something I can no longer discern from the notes.
On on,
Poumuli.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Monday, February 01, 2010
Hash Run 1499D - BYO Food @ STA Fale
Morning,
Hash will be behind the STA Fale in town. Please note that this is a BYO Food run and the BBQ will be there so bring something to throw on the BBQ. Hash will supply the drinks as per the norm and run will start at 1730 hrs.
We are also looking for a hare so if you are keen to set the run, please let BB know.
On On.
Hash will be behind the STA Fale in town. Please note that this is a BYO Food run and the BBQ will be there so bring something to throw on the BBQ. Hash will supply the drinks as per the norm and run will start at 1730 hrs.
We are also looking for a hare so if you are keen to set the run, please let BB know.
On On.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Hash Trash 1499C
Your Scribe is back from a well-deserved break, and many thanks to our Assistant Trainee Scribe Lesbian Vampire Killer for the outstanding job she did with the trash the last few weeks. Many overseas hashers were able to enjoy the events as if we were there. So this will unfortunately then be a return to the mundane and humdrum.
The Hash was hosted by Crash Bandicoot and Mr. Whippy next to the Maota Samoa in the Vaitele area. The run had been set on flour which was not entirely a great choice given the intensity of the rain before and during the run. There were quite a few false trails and our front-running bastards were soon in the middle of the pack. With the run entirely following the roads the only obstacle to getting back was the rapidly diminishing flour piles. At one point the deluge of rain was so intense your Scribe was worried it would short-circuit his Taser, which was inconveniently close to the family jewels.
All made it back safely to the carpark, and Godfather’s delicious sweet nuts were consumed. While awaiting Snake’s return with the majority of carkeys the keg was opened, which caused a bit of foam when it had to be moved down to the fale as the rain came back with a vengeance. Eveready had supplied his tasty but fiery guacamole for the hungry snacking hashers.
Eveready called the circle to order as GM for the night. There were a number of newcomers to Hash. There was Nileema from India (she is also the United Nations Resident Representative for Samoa, Niue, Cook Islands and Tokelau), Derek (a marine biologist from Oz), Ian from Auckland (fixing Lewinsky Sr.’s car). BB was well chuffed that for the first time a UN bigwig was present and was no doubt relieved that she had briefed her well on the rules of the circle, and the GM insisted that they all do a down-down. The rethreads were Poumuli, Wahoo, Chilindrina, Hot Nuts and a few more (had to put down the notebook so I missed a few).
The GM also noted that there needed to be a special rethread award to two hashers who had promised to show up for a festive evening at Tropicana and then failed to do so. Swinger’s lame excuse that BB was sick (of what?) did not give them any exemption.
The shoe inspector was missing but there were no new shoes anyway. Missing In Action Award for AC/DC next week. Anyway, the GM was foaming at the bit to make things more interesting, and gave a special Confusing Award to Mr. Whippy for setting a trail that was hard to find, made worse by the rain, and for being seen going in the opposite direction. LVK and Mele even had to go an extra mile as a result.
Even if it was a fairly short run for some, the GM had observed Schanell trying to chariot ride – he only guiltily got out of the truck when he was spotted by the GM. Large one.
Last week, the GM had awarded the Most Improved Runner Award to LVK, only to find that a few days in Pago had resulted in her being the slowest again – so an Arrested Development Award was handed out. The GM also pondered at why, when we relocated the circle to the fale, it had taken Screamer 15 minutes to turn up – Local Action/Living Up To Name Award.
The GM followed this theme by claiming that one of the rethreads was now unrecognizable, except on TV, so Wahoo got an award amongst rude snickering about being locked up in hotel rooms with Poumuli.
Pussysnatcher caught Mele trying to stop a fridge from levitating, and the GM scored a point with Snake for the Leaky House Syndrome Award given the poor state of the fale roof. It became a double as Snake forgot the Hash name of his own missus.
The GM had arrived early and had found Crash simply admiring the view, while Delicious was at home cooking, while pregnant! This news resulted in a double Responsible Husbandry Award.
Mele nominated Vaa for Leaving Hash Award, while the GM requested Mele to stay for an award not awarded since 1990, Bringing Hash into Disrepute by running with an umbrella. Pussysnatcher then caught Swinger leaning on the keg, with Mele unsuccessfully calling for a tattle-tale award for PS.
The GM had been huffing and puffing on the run and was in need of a coconut but there was no knife to be found as Snake had taken away the keys. Snake claimed higher purpose of setting up the electrical supply, to the point of trying to rig the vote.
Poumuli had swapped a Hash shirt for a set of bunny ears in Denmark, which were awarded to the Hare, Mr. Whippy. He had also procured a Joker cap from the Tower of London, which was awarded to Mele.
FBI nominated BB for talking to Nileema and for the historic event of bringing the UN resident representative to Hash. Stunned, Mr. Whippy on all our behalf exclaimed that this was the shortest nomination ever made by FBI, deserving a Brevity Award, while Screamer said Nileema should join the two. SOTB spotted FBI sporting his sunglasses so he remained front and centre for a further award. Snake and Lewinsky were admiring Lezzie’s inspirational t-shirt (Nobody knows I’m a Lesbian). Swinger nominated Zsa Zsa for the Yugo Award for running backwards on the trail, although he got the country wrong (its Hungary). Zsa Zsa has not improved his speed beyond that of a snail, and we were on the third chorus by the time he finished.
Before the GM was able to give Vai Vai the floor, he had to take a down down for getting the name wrong. What followed was some waffling about dancing and singing, summed up by the GM as “the mouth is moving, words are coming out, but nobody’s at home”, so Vai Vai got the Incomprehensible Gibberish Award. FBI and Lezzie poetically nominated Crash for getting the GM’s daughter pregnant, a sort of slam poetry seldom heard in Hash. Most impressive and should have been rewarded by the GM.
Pirate Princess described how Schanell had exposed her to his booty before the circle, which he sought to explain away in that his indecent exposure shouldn’t have been ogled at by PP in staring at his booty. Lewinsky complicated matters in explaining some finer points of piracy, while Schanell drew a bigger award for complaining too much, so all three drank in the end.
The Hash saluted our leaving members Snakebite and Venom, and Mr. Whippy Sr noted that Jr was leaving as well – although this became a double for some sexist remarks.
LVK wanted Hash to celebrate Australia Day by making any Oz people drink, but keg was low, so the GM picked Roz to be their High Commissioner for the award.
Since he had been so brief earlier, the GM let FBI have the last nomination. Big mistake. A lengthy accusation of a UN staff member throwing stuff at the GM came from the now less than eloquent FBI, although clearly unethical behaviour, but complicated by Swinger with his countering tirade against CSL. After BB defended herself by reviewing the GM’s sexist remarks, she ended up with the Defending Gender Award.
The hosts and the hare were then saluted – Crash Bandicoot, Mr Whippy (with bunny ears) and Snake, with Fang being added in for making it all happen.
Next week will be a BYO at the STA Fale in town. We were reminded to think of a theme for the 1500th run. We were also invited to feast on the 70 hot dogs provided by Crash Bandicoot and the Whippy’s.
On On,
Poumuli.
The Hash was hosted by Crash Bandicoot and Mr. Whippy next to the Maota Samoa in the Vaitele area. The run had been set on flour which was not entirely a great choice given the intensity of the rain before and during the run. There were quite a few false trails and our front-running bastards were soon in the middle of the pack. With the run entirely following the roads the only obstacle to getting back was the rapidly diminishing flour piles. At one point the deluge of rain was so intense your Scribe was worried it would short-circuit his Taser, which was inconveniently close to the family jewels.
All made it back safely to the carpark, and Godfather’s delicious sweet nuts were consumed. While awaiting Snake’s return with the majority of carkeys the keg was opened, which caused a bit of foam when it had to be moved down to the fale as the rain came back with a vengeance. Eveready had supplied his tasty but fiery guacamole for the hungry snacking hashers.
Eveready called the circle to order as GM for the night. There were a number of newcomers to Hash. There was Nileema from India (she is also the United Nations Resident Representative for Samoa, Niue, Cook Islands and Tokelau), Derek (a marine biologist from Oz), Ian from Auckland (fixing Lewinsky Sr.’s car). BB was well chuffed that for the first time a UN bigwig was present and was no doubt relieved that she had briefed her well on the rules of the circle, and the GM insisted that they all do a down-down. The rethreads were Poumuli, Wahoo, Chilindrina, Hot Nuts and a few more (had to put down the notebook so I missed a few).
The GM also noted that there needed to be a special rethread award to two hashers who had promised to show up for a festive evening at Tropicana and then failed to do so. Swinger’s lame excuse that BB was sick (of what?) did not give them any exemption.
The shoe inspector was missing but there were no new shoes anyway. Missing In Action Award for AC/DC next week. Anyway, the GM was foaming at the bit to make things more interesting, and gave a special Confusing Award to Mr. Whippy for setting a trail that was hard to find, made worse by the rain, and for being seen going in the opposite direction. LVK and Mele even had to go an extra mile as a result.
Even if it was a fairly short run for some, the GM had observed Schanell trying to chariot ride – he only guiltily got out of the truck when he was spotted by the GM. Large one.
Last week, the GM had awarded the Most Improved Runner Award to LVK, only to find that a few days in Pago had resulted in her being the slowest again – so an Arrested Development Award was handed out. The GM also pondered at why, when we relocated the circle to the fale, it had taken Screamer 15 minutes to turn up – Local Action/Living Up To Name Award.
The GM followed this theme by claiming that one of the rethreads was now unrecognizable, except on TV, so Wahoo got an award amongst rude snickering about being locked up in hotel rooms with Poumuli.
Pussysnatcher caught Mele trying to stop a fridge from levitating, and the GM scored a point with Snake for the Leaky House Syndrome Award given the poor state of the fale roof. It became a double as Snake forgot the Hash name of his own missus.
The GM had arrived early and had found Crash simply admiring the view, while Delicious was at home cooking, while pregnant! This news resulted in a double Responsible Husbandry Award.
Mele nominated Vaa for Leaving Hash Award, while the GM requested Mele to stay for an award not awarded since 1990, Bringing Hash into Disrepute by running with an umbrella. Pussysnatcher then caught Swinger leaning on the keg, with Mele unsuccessfully calling for a tattle-tale award for PS.
The GM had been huffing and puffing on the run and was in need of a coconut but there was no knife to be found as Snake had taken away the keys. Snake claimed higher purpose of setting up the electrical supply, to the point of trying to rig the vote.
Poumuli had swapped a Hash shirt for a set of bunny ears in Denmark, which were awarded to the Hare, Mr. Whippy. He had also procured a Joker cap from the Tower of London, which was awarded to Mele.
FBI nominated BB for talking to Nileema and for the historic event of bringing the UN resident representative to Hash. Stunned, Mr. Whippy on all our behalf exclaimed that this was the shortest nomination ever made by FBI, deserving a Brevity Award, while Screamer said Nileema should join the two. SOTB spotted FBI sporting his sunglasses so he remained front and centre for a further award. Snake and Lewinsky were admiring Lezzie’s inspirational t-shirt (Nobody knows I’m a Lesbian). Swinger nominated Zsa Zsa for the Yugo Award for running backwards on the trail, although he got the country wrong (its Hungary). Zsa Zsa has not improved his speed beyond that of a snail, and we were on the third chorus by the time he finished.
Before the GM was able to give Vai Vai the floor, he had to take a down down for getting the name wrong. What followed was some waffling about dancing and singing, summed up by the GM as “the mouth is moving, words are coming out, but nobody’s at home”, so Vai Vai got the Incomprehensible Gibberish Award. FBI and Lezzie poetically nominated Crash for getting the GM’s daughter pregnant, a sort of slam poetry seldom heard in Hash. Most impressive and should have been rewarded by the GM.
Pirate Princess described how Schanell had exposed her to his booty before the circle, which he sought to explain away in that his indecent exposure shouldn’t have been ogled at by PP in staring at his booty. Lewinsky complicated matters in explaining some finer points of piracy, while Schanell drew a bigger award for complaining too much, so all three drank in the end.
The Hash saluted our leaving members Snakebite and Venom, and Mr. Whippy Sr noted that Jr was leaving as well – although this became a double for some sexist remarks.
LVK wanted Hash to celebrate Australia Day by making any Oz people drink, but keg was low, so the GM picked Roz to be their High Commissioner for the award.
Since he had been so brief earlier, the GM let FBI have the last nomination. Big mistake. A lengthy accusation of a UN staff member throwing stuff at the GM came from the now less than eloquent FBI, although clearly unethical behaviour, but complicated by Swinger with his countering tirade against CSL. After BB defended herself by reviewing the GM’s sexist remarks, she ended up with the Defending Gender Award.
The hosts and the hare were then saluted – Crash Bandicoot, Mr Whippy (with bunny ears) and Snake, with Fang being added in for making it all happen.
Next week will be a BYO at the STA Fale in town. We were reminded to think of a theme for the 1500th run. We were also invited to feast on the 70 hot dogs provided by Crash Bandicoot and the Whippy’s.
On On,
Poumuli.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Hash Run 1499C - Mon 25 Jan 2010
Back-of-the-Van HashOnce again, Crash Bandicoot and Mr. Whippy will be hosting a glorious Back-of-the-Van Hash. Only this time the venue is far closer. You can’t miss it. It’s located at the top of the hill past the Maota Samoa in Vaitele (see map). The venue and backup venue have kindly been arranged by Snake.
Please be aware that the hosts will provide hot-dogs, buns, and toppings ONLY. Hashers are expected to supplement their dogs with their own food either on location or at home after Hash. There will be no BBQ. The food will be pre-cooked, and yes, the keg will be there in all its glory.
Remember, we are guests at this venue. So be respectful and don’t litter. As we like to say, “Be considerate - leave only footprints.”
On On!
Mr. Whippy.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Hash Trash- Run 1499B
Another Monday, another great Hash.
A small but dedicated pack of 24 Hashers braved the traffic from town and the prospect of rain to make it out to Puipa’a for this week’s run, kindly hosted by Sina.
Pussy Snatcher, Schannelle and I arrived as fast as traffic allowed armed with the best BYO we could find in our kitchen – half a packet of Pringles, some sour cream, and a tin of fruit salad. Fail.
The trail was set by Ring Ring (more on that later), and led us through someone’s backyard into the bush. Other than almost stepping on a giant pig, I enjoyed the off-road trail and somehow managed to stay not-too-far behind the boys at the front, Zsa Zsa, Schannelle and Pussy Snatcher.
GM for the week was Eveready.
The only newbie was Laauli Paul, a very youthful looking 24 year old brought along by AC/DC. Karaoke seemed very interested to know if he was married. He was not.
The retreads were Pussy Snatcher and David. Pussy Snatcher had been overseas for six weeks, spending some time with his Snatched Pussy and travelling. David had been in Copenhagen with fellow Hashers Screamer and “Palusami”, i.e. Poumuli. David piked out on the Copenhagen Hash due to the -6 degrees weather.
SOTB pulled up Gordon Ramsay for not declaring himself a retread. Gordon Ramsay, living up to his Hash name, hit SOTB with a pair of tongs.
Schannelle drank for leaning on a car.
Our resident shoe inspector AC/DC pulled up David for having new shoes. Brand new out of the box! David had sneakily removed his shoes before the circle and was standing barefoot, but everyone had already noticed and been blinded by the dazzling white of his shoes. Screamer tried to save her boss from drinking out of his shoe, complaining that we’d run through pig shit, but was overruled by the pack, who made David follow Hash tradition. “Tastes like rubber, with slight aftertaste of pig”, observed the shoe-sculling connoisseur.
Our hare Ring Ring was nominated for trying to bribe some locals to set the run for her, and locking her keys in her car in the process.
The GM gave Tammy an award for actually doing the Hash run for once. She usually turns up late.
Pussy Snatcher drank for only just making it to Hash, complaining that it was too far to come, when he has spent the last six weeks gallivanting around the world.
Lewinsky nominated David for the “serious crime” of drinking out of an official Hash mug in the circle.
Your scribe received the most improved runner award. Usually I’m with the walkers but this week was at the front of the pack. Like that week I couldn’t finish my beer, I think this week’s run was an anomaly, and not likely to be repeated!
During the run, the boys at the front of the pack decided the set trail wasn’t enough for them and went for an extra run. What is this, some kind of fitness club? Zsa Zsa, Schannelle and Pussy Snatcher drank. Zsa Zsa actually drank his Vailima reasonably fast, and was coughing and spluttering away after.
Lewinsky was nominated for standing up his own sister. Poor form, Lewinsky!
In typical Selena-and-Tony-Blair fashion, last week’s Hash turned into a huge night. What will we do without them? After the beer ran out at 11pm, Schannelle realised some of his stuff had been stolen. Good Samaritan Screamer offered him a lift home, but instead of taking him to his house, she took him back to her house! “I don’t make the news, I just report it,” said Eveready. Screamer drank.
“But that’s not the end of the story!” said the GM. Schannelle was given another down down for having a king size bed, even though he is a single guy.
Godfather was given a down down for planning to leave early after the circle. The down down must have had some effect, because he was playing his ukulele and singing for some time after the circle. Ring Ring drank too, for trying and failing to play the ukulele as Godfather drank.
Little Lani was given a down down as it was her last Hash before she heads back to New Zealand. “She wants to go home, but doesn’t want to leave Hash,” said Karaoke. I have it on good authority that Lani will return to Hash and Samoa again, and, yes, Hashmen, she will be of legal age by then.
Schannelle nominated Karaoke for blocking the driveway at Lotopa when he was trying to move house last Saturday. He said she drove to the cake shop at the end of the driveway and back twice in a few minutes. “It’s my road!” defended Karaoke. Eveready pitched in that Schannelle seemed to have an excessive amount of stuff to move. Put to a vote, Schannelle was made to drink. “That’s the last time I give a nomination!” he said.
Sassy gave SOTB a down down for breaking into Ring Ring’s car to get her keys. “Everything I know I learnt from my mother,” said SOTB. “I taught you good manners!” retorted Sassy.
Please note: things started to get a little messy around here, as our smaller-than-normal circle endeavoured to make its way through the keg, so please excuse any discrepancies in my reporting from here on in.
Snake nominated Lewinsky for failing to provide Diet Cokes. Snake went and bought some. Snake then accused Lewinsky of pretending he had bought them when the GM asked for one. Lewinsky declared this a “serious conspiracy”, saying “I would never disrespect the GM”.
SOTB gave Sassy a media award for making the New Zealand news. Someone asked Sassy for a verbatim transcript. “Ah, just give me the drink,” said Sassy.
Schannelle then nominated Pussy Snatcher and Little Lani for talking in the circle. This was declared a “successful cockblock” as after drinking Lani was made to stand three places away from Pussy Snatcher, with Schannelle, SOTB, and Snake in between them.
Snake nominated the person who posted the great photo of Godfather on the blog that day, as a “lovely photo of Samoa in yesteryear”. Godfather stands with a group of paddlers, with a big “mandlebar moustache” and a great head of hair. The photo came from Flash Gordon, whose nearest relative SOTB drank.
Eveready nominated your scribe, Pro Boner and Tammy for being no shows at Selena and Tony Blair’s farewell at Tropicana last Friday. We had told Eveready we would show up in red dresses! A Hashman was to blame, for inviting us down to Lalomanu that night – AC/DC!
Sassy nominated Ring Ring for not clearing it with the matriarch of family across the road before running through their backyard. The matriarch was mad and only calmed down when she saw Godfather and his pe’a tattoo.
SOTB, Snake and Lewinsky were nominated for telling chauvinistic jokes. They’re not worth repeating here (or anywhere); ask SOTB, Snake or Lewinsky if you really need to know.
Sassy then gave SOTB and Gordon Ramsay an award for eating dog. SOTB and Gordon claimed it was lamb. “Was the dog’s name Lamb?” someone asked. Sassy drank for a false accusation.
SOTB nominated Lewinsky for asking his sister to cover his shift so he could go fishing. Pro Boner pitched in that this was only three hours after he stood her up. Lewinsky’s lame excuse was that “I’m only a Hashman, and I like to fish.” Somehow after a vote, though, Pro Boner ended up drinking, although I don’t see how this was her fault.
To finish things off, Snake gave a down down to everyone who hadn’t drunk yet – Fang, Mr Whippy, and Laauli
The 1500 run was then discussed – a theme is needed, please send SOTB your suggestions – and the circle was closed.
Your scribe had a late night, drinking with the boys until past midnight. See you all next week!
On On!
Lesbian Vampire Killer.
A small but dedicated pack of 24 Hashers braved the traffic from town and the prospect of rain to make it out to Puipa’a for this week’s run, kindly hosted by Sina.
Pussy Snatcher, Schannelle and I arrived as fast as traffic allowed armed with the best BYO we could find in our kitchen – half a packet of Pringles, some sour cream, and a tin of fruit salad. Fail.
The trail was set by Ring Ring (more on that later), and led us through someone’s backyard into the bush. Other than almost stepping on a giant pig, I enjoyed the off-road trail and somehow managed to stay not-too-far behind the boys at the front, Zsa Zsa, Schannelle and Pussy Snatcher.
GM for the week was Eveready.
The only newbie was Laauli Paul, a very youthful looking 24 year old brought along by AC/DC. Karaoke seemed very interested to know if he was married. He was not.
The retreads were Pussy Snatcher and David. Pussy Snatcher had been overseas for six weeks, spending some time with his Snatched Pussy and travelling. David had been in Copenhagen with fellow Hashers Screamer and “Palusami”, i.e. Poumuli. David piked out on the Copenhagen Hash due to the -6 degrees weather.
SOTB pulled up Gordon Ramsay for not declaring himself a retread. Gordon Ramsay, living up to his Hash name, hit SOTB with a pair of tongs.
Schannelle drank for leaning on a car.
Our resident shoe inspector AC/DC pulled up David for having new shoes. Brand new out of the box! David had sneakily removed his shoes before the circle and was standing barefoot, but everyone had already noticed and been blinded by the dazzling white of his shoes. Screamer tried to save her boss from drinking out of his shoe, complaining that we’d run through pig shit, but was overruled by the pack, who made David follow Hash tradition. “Tastes like rubber, with slight aftertaste of pig”, observed the shoe-sculling connoisseur.
Our hare Ring Ring was nominated for trying to bribe some locals to set the run for her, and locking her keys in her car in the process.
The GM gave Tammy an award for actually doing the Hash run for once. She usually turns up late.
Pussy Snatcher drank for only just making it to Hash, complaining that it was too far to come, when he has spent the last six weeks gallivanting around the world.
Lewinsky nominated David for the “serious crime” of drinking out of an official Hash mug in the circle.
Your scribe received the most improved runner award. Usually I’m with the walkers but this week was at the front of the pack. Like that week I couldn’t finish my beer, I think this week’s run was an anomaly, and not likely to be repeated!
During the run, the boys at the front of the pack decided the set trail wasn’t enough for them and went for an extra run. What is this, some kind of fitness club? Zsa Zsa, Schannelle and Pussy Snatcher drank. Zsa Zsa actually drank his Vailima reasonably fast, and was coughing and spluttering away after.
Lewinsky was nominated for standing up his own sister. Poor form, Lewinsky!
In typical Selena-and-Tony-Blair fashion, last week’s Hash turned into a huge night. What will we do without them? After the beer ran out at 11pm, Schannelle realised some of his stuff had been stolen. Good Samaritan Screamer offered him a lift home, but instead of taking him to his house, she took him back to her house! “I don’t make the news, I just report it,” said Eveready. Screamer drank.
“But that’s not the end of the story!” said the GM. Schannelle was given another down down for having a king size bed, even though he is a single guy.
Godfather was given a down down for planning to leave early after the circle. The down down must have had some effect, because he was playing his ukulele and singing for some time after the circle. Ring Ring drank too, for trying and failing to play the ukulele as Godfather drank.
Little Lani was given a down down as it was her last Hash before she heads back to New Zealand. “She wants to go home, but doesn’t want to leave Hash,” said Karaoke. I have it on good authority that Lani will return to Hash and Samoa again, and, yes, Hashmen, she will be of legal age by then.
Schannelle nominated Karaoke for blocking the driveway at Lotopa when he was trying to move house last Saturday. He said she drove to the cake shop at the end of the driveway and back twice in a few minutes. “It’s my road!” defended Karaoke. Eveready pitched in that Schannelle seemed to have an excessive amount of stuff to move. Put to a vote, Schannelle was made to drink. “That’s the last time I give a nomination!” he said.
Sassy gave SOTB a down down for breaking into Ring Ring’s car to get her keys. “Everything I know I learnt from my mother,” said SOTB. “I taught you good manners!” retorted Sassy.
Please note: things started to get a little messy around here, as our smaller-than-normal circle endeavoured to make its way through the keg, so please excuse any discrepancies in my reporting from here on in.
Snake nominated Lewinsky for failing to provide Diet Cokes. Snake went and bought some. Snake then accused Lewinsky of pretending he had bought them when the GM asked for one. Lewinsky declared this a “serious conspiracy”, saying “I would never disrespect the GM”.
SOTB gave Sassy a media award for making the New Zealand news. Someone asked Sassy for a verbatim transcript. “Ah, just give me the drink,” said Sassy.
Schannelle then nominated Pussy Snatcher and Little Lani for talking in the circle. This was declared a “successful cockblock” as after drinking Lani was made to stand three places away from Pussy Snatcher, with Schannelle, SOTB, and Snake in between them.
Snake nominated the person who posted the great photo of Godfather on the blog that day, as a “lovely photo of Samoa in yesteryear”. Godfather stands with a group of paddlers, with a big “mandlebar moustache” and a great head of hair. The photo came from Flash Gordon, whose nearest relative SOTB drank.
Eveready nominated your scribe, Pro Boner and Tammy for being no shows at Selena and Tony Blair’s farewell at Tropicana last Friday. We had told Eveready we would show up in red dresses! A Hashman was to blame, for inviting us down to Lalomanu that night – AC/DC!
Sassy nominated Ring Ring for not clearing it with the matriarch of family across the road before running through their backyard. The matriarch was mad and only calmed down when she saw Godfather and his pe’a tattoo.
SOTB, Snake and Lewinsky were nominated for telling chauvinistic jokes. They’re not worth repeating here (or anywhere); ask SOTB, Snake or Lewinsky if you really need to know.
Sassy then gave SOTB and Gordon Ramsay an award for eating dog. SOTB and Gordon claimed it was lamb. “Was the dog’s name Lamb?” someone asked. Sassy drank for a false accusation.
SOTB nominated Lewinsky for asking his sister to cover his shift so he could go fishing. Pro Boner pitched in that this was only three hours after he stood her up. Lewinsky’s lame excuse was that “I’m only a Hashman, and I like to fish.” Somehow after a vote, though, Pro Boner ended up drinking, although I don’t see how this was her fault.
To finish things off, Snake gave a down down to everyone who hadn’t drunk yet – Fang, Mr Whippy, and Laauli
The 1500 run was then discussed – a theme is needed, please send SOTB your suggestions – and the circle was closed.
Your scribe had a late night, drinking with the boys until past midnight. See you all next week!
On On!
Lesbian Vampire Killer.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Hash 1500th Run Theme
There was some discussion at the run last night about a theme for our 1500th Run. For those who might have some ideas, please post a comment below, or email me 'ant.sass@gmail.com' and send me your ideas. We will put it on a poll over the next week or so and hashers can vote on what they think the theme for the 1500th Run will be.
On On
On On
Monday, January 18, 2010
Hash Run 1499B- Puipaa
Morning to you all...
Sina Retzlaff-Lima has kindly offered to host today's run at Puipaa. This will be a BYO Food Run and hash will provide the drinks. The details/Directions are below on the map. Please make sure you bring something to throw on the BBQ or a salad to accompany the meats. Which ever is easiest for you. Run starts normal time @ 1730Hrs
On On
Sina Retzlaff-Lima has kindly offered to host today's run at Puipaa. This will be a BYO Food Run and hash will provide the drinks. The details/Directions are below on the map. Please make sure you bring something to throw on the BBQ or a salad to accompany the meats. Which ever is easiest for you. Run starts normal time @ 1730Hrs
On On
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Hash Trash 1499A - Tony Blair & Selena
This week’s run was the end of an era – our last Hash run at Selena and Tony Blair’s house. Our dear Selena and Tony Blair are leaving the Apia Hash this week after four years in Samoa. Eveready and Karaoke hosted a great farewell party for the couple on Saturday, with amazing food (that taro!), delicious cake, and a cooler full of mojito made by Selena that was very, very drinkable.
In masks and Mardi Gras beads the Hashers set off for the final Tuaefu run. I was with the walkers and at one point we encountered some runners who appeared to have gone on a false trail through a river and were returning to the road. It was a typically hot afternoon and I was happy to finish the walk and start socialising.
Taking over GM duties for one night only was Eveready, who began with a faux pas, announcing this as “Carmen and Ludo’s last night”. Presented with his beer, SOTB suggested Eveready “pretend it’s a mojito”.
I counted 43 Hashers in the circle, a good size and a big increase from the last couple of weeks as we welcome back regulars like Zsa Zsa and Screamer who have returned from overseas.
The new boots were Va from New Zealand, brought along by Mele; Jules, brought along by Selena and Tony Blair; Blakey from America brought along by myself; Shane from Australia and Papua New Guinea, brought along by Slippery; Cindy and Gina from Hawaii brought along by Lewinsky; Jane from Australia; and Paul from New Zealand.
Shane announced he is here for 18 months... and not married. “Brace yourself!” cried Lewinsky. Paul from New Zealand won many hearts and got a round of applause by announcing he is in Samoa to build a house for his mum. He is looking forward to being a “Hashie”.
The retreads were Mele, Venom and Snakebite, Screamer, Zsa Zsa and FBI.
Our teenage Hash Marys Va and Little Lani both wore new shoes and were made to drink out of them. They did well. “You girls rock!” someone said.
An award was then dished out to those who failed to understand the concept of a mask. Swinger wore a tinsel wig, Hobbs had an Indian headdress, Adam had what someone described as a “big condom” on his head, Mele used a big leaf and cut eyes out of it, SOTB was wearing a plastic bag on his head, and FBI had a Santa Hat and those sunglasses again, which he described as a “Bro Ho Ho” mask. All drank.
Eveready had kindly named one of the avocado trees on his farm Carmen, after Selena. He brought Tony Blair some avocados from the Carmen tree. The GM recounted their conversation: “Did you eat Carmen?” Eveready had asked. “Yes,” said Tony Blair. “Was it good?” said Eveready. “Oh, you mean the avocado!” said Tony Blair. Karaoke then rightfully asked whether Eveready had named a tree after her!
The next down down went to the “three amigos” who went in the pool before the circle – FBI, Schanell and Zsa Zsa.
At the farewell party on Saturday, Eveready had asked if anyone could play the ukulele when Godfather is away. Swinger had said that he could play. Overhearing this, BB laughed and laughed. Someone suggested was that the instrument may need to be tuned? “It’s well tuned, baby!” retorted BB. Swinger and BB drank, finishing at the same time.
Pro Boner was given the Global Warming award for following in Tammy’s footsteps and wearing a sexy red dress out last Friday night. Eveready said, “While I don’t know if her car overheated, I know the guys did!”
Mele said she had a nomination, but had already had a number of down downs and couldn’t remember what it was. She was made to drink, and when pushed, nominated your scribe for failing to tell her about the farewell party. “You had food poisoning!” I said, but to no avail. We drank, and, thank god, it appears I have returned to form after the minor blip in my drinking career last week. I returned to my corner of the circle to high fives and a sigh of relief from all concerned.
SOTB nominated BB and Ring Ring for failing as hare raisers. BB said she’d been in Australia, and had to keep an eye on Swinger. Ring Ring had no excuse.
Snake gave the Wannabe award to Lewinsky, who was sporting a mask that made him look like a “hangman or an executioner”. And if not a hangman or executioner, a porn star. “Tough crowd!” Lewinsky said.
SOTB gave Mr Whippy a well deserved award for improvements to the blog.
Crash and Delicious were given the latecomer award.
Tony Blair and Selena drank because it was their 100th Hash run. Selena slowly finished her beer herself for once, encouraging the crowd to keep singing as she did.
In the best award of the night, FBI nominated Sassy for being overdressed. Sassy looked great in red pants and a black top. Upon receiving this award, Sassy strutted into the centre of the circle, did a yoga pose known as the downward dog to show off her assets, showed off her muscles and legs, and generally strutted her stuff. Eveready called that since the guys were all now standing at attention, Sassy was to be known as Blow Job for the rest of the night. Mr Whippy then interrupted with a Very Important Announcement – Wayne had been pouring beer everywhere. Wayne and Blow Job drank.
Pirate Princess nominated the GM for asking her last week if there was any diet coke left. When she said no, he asked if she had any milk left! Eveready claimed he had asked if there was any juice left, but to no avail. Karaoke piped up, “I always give him milk!”
Karaoke gave Little Lani an award for being too shy to go up to the keg to get beer because of a boy that was near there. A mortified Lani drank.
Karaoke then questioned why Adam and Wayne were still in country when they were due to leave Samoa last week. Lewinsky piped up that he knew why – they had been courting some local ladies. “They wanted to star in my movie!” said Lewinsky, the wannabe porn director.
Godfather judged best mask, giving the best Hash Mary mask to Selena and the best Hash Man mask to Schanell. Poor Zsa Zsa, who had spent a good deal of last Saturday making the gladiator helmet/mask Schanell was wearing for a toga party missed out as he forgot to bring his own.
Blow Job gave SOTB an award for “almost breaking my heart” by risking his life out surfing the big waves and coming away battered and bruised. The GM said SOTB is not allowed to die until he produces some grandkids. SOTB then nominated Vai Vai for slipping over at the swimming pool and injuring himself. SOTB’s beer was gone quick as a flash.
Selena and Tony Blair were given a final down down as hosts. Selena said that Hash is her family, and how in good times and in bad, the Hash people have been there for her. The Hash Anthem, ‘Swing Low, Sweet Chariot’ was sung in their honour.
Before the circle was closed, the 1500th run was discussed. The 1500th run will be delayed for a few weeks to get things organised. 1500 runs means Apia Hash has been going for close to 30 years. “It started long before I was born,” said our youthful GM. Check the blog for further details soon.
As usual for Selena and Tony Blair’s house, after the run, everyone ended up in the pool. Slippery and Zsa Zsa were both inappropriately attired in Speedos. “We’re not in Europe!” Schanell implored. Selena, Blow Job, Ring Ring and Karaoke showed the younger ladies how it’s done, dancing and showing off.
Farewell to our excellent hosts, all the best with your next adventure, hope you find your way back to Apia Hash one day.
On On!
Lesbian Vampire Killer
In masks and Mardi Gras beads the Hashers set off for the final Tuaefu run. I was with the walkers and at one point we encountered some runners who appeared to have gone on a false trail through a river and were returning to the road. It was a typically hot afternoon and I was happy to finish the walk and start socialising.
Taking over GM duties for one night only was Eveready, who began with a faux pas, announcing this as “Carmen and Ludo’s last night”. Presented with his beer, SOTB suggested Eveready “pretend it’s a mojito”.
I counted 43 Hashers in the circle, a good size and a big increase from the last couple of weeks as we welcome back regulars like Zsa Zsa and Screamer who have returned from overseas.
The new boots were Va from New Zealand, brought along by Mele; Jules, brought along by Selena and Tony Blair; Blakey from America brought along by myself; Shane from Australia and Papua New Guinea, brought along by Slippery; Cindy and Gina from Hawaii brought along by Lewinsky; Jane from Australia; and Paul from New Zealand.
Shane announced he is here for 18 months... and not married. “Brace yourself!” cried Lewinsky. Paul from New Zealand won many hearts and got a round of applause by announcing he is in Samoa to build a house for his mum. He is looking forward to being a “Hashie”.
The retreads were Mele, Venom and Snakebite, Screamer, Zsa Zsa and FBI.
Our teenage Hash Marys Va and Little Lani both wore new shoes and were made to drink out of them. They did well. “You girls rock!” someone said.
An award was then dished out to those who failed to understand the concept of a mask. Swinger wore a tinsel wig, Hobbs had an Indian headdress, Adam had what someone described as a “big condom” on his head, Mele used a big leaf and cut eyes out of it, SOTB was wearing a plastic bag on his head, and FBI had a Santa Hat and those sunglasses again, which he described as a “Bro Ho Ho” mask. All drank.
Eveready had kindly named one of the avocado trees on his farm Carmen, after Selena. He brought Tony Blair some avocados from the Carmen tree. The GM recounted their conversation: “Did you eat Carmen?” Eveready had asked. “Yes,” said Tony Blair. “Was it good?” said Eveready. “Oh, you mean the avocado!” said Tony Blair. Karaoke then rightfully asked whether Eveready had named a tree after her!
The next down down went to the “three amigos” who went in the pool before the circle – FBI, Schanell and Zsa Zsa.
At the farewell party on Saturday, Eveready had asked if anyone could play the ukulele when Godfather is away. Swinger had said that he could play. Overhearing this, BB laughed and laughed. Someone suggested was that the instrument may need to be tuned? “It’s well tuned, baby!” retorted BB. Swinger and BB drank, finishing at the same time.
Pro Boner was given the Global Warming award for following in Tammy’s footsteps and wearing a sexy red dress out last Friday night. Eveready said, “While I don’t know if her car overheated, I know the guys did!”
Mele said she had a nomination, but had already had a number of down downs and couldn’t remember what it was. She was made to drink, and when pushed, nominated your scribe for failing to tell her about the farewell party. “You had food poisoning!” I said, but to no avail. We drank, and, thank god, it appears I have returned to form after the minor blip in my drinking career last week. I returned to my corner of the circle to high fives and a sigh of relief from all concerned.
SOTB nominated BB and Ring Ring for failing as hare raisers. BB said she’d been in Australia, and had to keep an eye on Swinger. Ring Ring had no excuse.
Snake gave the Wannabe award to Lewinsky, who was sporting a mask that made him look like a “hangman or an executioner”. And if not a hangman or executioner, a porn star. “Tough crowd!” Lewinsky said.
SOTB gave Mr Whippy a well deserved award for improvements to the blog.
Crash and Delicious were given the latecomer award.
Tony Blair and Selena drank because it was their 100th Hash run. Selena slowly finished her beer herself for once, encouraging the crowd to keep singing as she did.
In the best award of the night, FBI nominated Sassy for being overdressed. Sassy looked great in red pants and a black top. Upon receiving this award, Sassy strutted into the centre of the circle, did a yoga pose known as the downward dog to show off her assets, showed off her muscles and legs, and generally strutted her stuff. Eveready called that since the guys were all now standing at attention, Sassy was to be known as Blow Job for the rest of the night. Mr Whippy then interrupted with a Very Important Announcement – Wayne had been pouring beer everywhere. Wayne and Blow Job drank.
Pirate Princess nominated the GM for asking her last week if there was any diet coke left. When she said no, he asked if she had any milk left! Eveready claimed he had asked if there was any juice left, but to no avail. Karaoke piped up, “I always give him milk!”
Karaoke gave Little Lani an award for being too shy to go up to the keg to get beer because of a boy that was near there. A mortified Lani drank.
Karaoke then questioned why Adam and Wayne were still in country when they were due to leave Samoa last week. Lewinsky piped up that he knew why – they had been courting some local ladies. “They wanted to star in my movie!” said Lewinsky, the wannabe porn director.
Godfather judged best mask, giving the best Hash Mary mask to Selena and the best Hash Man mask to Schanell. Poor Zsa Zsa, who had spent a good deal of last Saturday making the gladiator helmet/mask Schanell was wearing for a toga party missed out as he forgot to bring his own.
Blow Job gave SOTB an award for “almost breaking my heart” by risking his life out surfing the big waves and coming away battered and bruised. The GM said SOTB is not allowed to die until he produces some grandkids. SOTB then nominated Vai Vai for slipping over at the swimming pool and injuring himself. SOTB’s beer was gone quick as a flash.
Selena and Tony Blair were given a final down down as hosts. Selena said that Hash is her family, and how in good times and in bad, the Hash people have been there for her. The Hash Anthem, ‘Swing Low, Sweet Chariot’ was sung in their honour.
Before the circle was closed, the 1500th run was discussed. The 1500th run will be delayed for a few weeks to get things organised. 1500 runs means Apia Hash has been going for close to 30 years. “It started long before I was born,” said our youthful GM. Check the blog for further details soon.
As usual for Selena and Tony Blair’s house, after the run, everyone ended up in the pool. Slippery and Zsa Zsa were both inappropriately attired in Speedos. “We’re not in Europe!” Schanell implored. Selena, Blow Job, Ring Ring and Karaoke showed the younger ladies how it’s done, dancing and showing off.
Farewell to our excellent hosts, all the best with your next adventure, hope you find your way back to Apia Hash one day.
On On!
Lesbian Vampire Killer
Monday, January 11, 2010
Hash Trash - 1499
Our first 2010 Hash was once again kindly hosted by Lewinsky, POD , Happy Feet and Pro Boner out at Taumeasina.
It had been a really rainy day but by 5:30 it had cleared up and was a beautiful temperature for a nice long Hash run set on flour by SOTB and Lewinsky.
At twilight POD called the circle, her last as GM before she takes a few months off to have a mini-POD.
I counted 27 people in the circle, a decent size following the Christmas and New Year break.
The new boots were Cheena and Neeve from Wellington, brought along by Lewinsky. Wayne and Lisa from the Gold Coast claimed they’d also been brought along by Lewinsky. Our Hash recruitment officer was given a down down.
The retreads were Orgy Georgie, Adam, Chris and Karaoke. Orgy Georgie shot himself in the proverbial foot by claiming his reason for missing Hash was because he’d lost his shoes and had to get new ones. Adam had some lame excuse about living overseas. Chris said he’d missed approximately 1200 Hashes and hadn’t done a Hash Run for about 33 years.* Chris’s excuse was that he’d been busy manufacturing children. “Does your wife know?” POD quipped. A confused Karaoke thought she had been to Hash, and didn’t know why she was a retread.
Orgy Georgie was made to drink out of his shoe. He complained that his shoes weren’t new. Our tough GM retorted, “They’re new to Hash!”
New Year’s Eve was naturally a hotbed of Hash indiscretions. Tammy, Pro Boner and Schanell were all caught out.
Our girl Tammy was nominated for advertising at the Why Not bar for wearing a very sexy red dress.
Pro Boner was given the Hulk Hogan award. She has a predilection for picking people up and hugging them when she’s drunk. On New Year’s Eve Pro Boner picked up her brother Lewinsky at On the Rocks, only to end up On the Floor.**
Schanell was given the Mr Discrete or My Hypocrisy award for complaining about how small a place Samoa is and how you can’t do anything without anyone noticing. Later on he was witnessed very publicly pashing on with someone on the Why Not dance floor! Way to be discrete Schanell!
With Hot Nuts away, Karaoke nominated Tony Blair for the Squashed Nuts award. God, it’s embarrassing even recapping this award. Karaoke claimed Tony Blair had sat on her lap, “Hey, wait a minute!” Eveready interjected, and that she could feel his squashed nuts. POD claimed Karaoke then said “Come back and give me more!” Karaoke replied “I prefer my Samoan nuts!” Karaoke drank, and Eveready manfully finished the drink. “I need gas for tonight,” he said.
The Celebrity award went to Godfather for being nominated for Person of the Year in the Observer. Well done Godfather! In Godfather’s absence the down down was given to his closest relative... Kamikaze! Kamikaze and Godfather obviously have a strong physical resemblance due to their similar hairstyles. “Where’s Snake?” asked an incredulous Kamikaze.
Happy Feet had also been seen in the background on TV so dad Lewinsky was made to drink.
The nominations were opened to the floor. Sassy nominated Mr Whippy for being the only person to actually run in last week’s modest Hash.
Your scribe nominated Slippery for being inappropriately attired on Christmas Day at Samoana. After a night dive he stripped down to his Speedos and stood talking to one of my girlfriends for ages right in front of the main fale.
SOTB nominated Sassy and Little Lani for leaning on coconut trees. Both were served beer, which Lani looked concerned about but managed to down well despite presumably having quite a few years before reaching legal drinking age here.
Kiwi and Adam were given down downs for being attached to their cell phones.
Tammy nominated SOTB for a piker award for leaving Why Not at 9:30am after New Year’s Eve, claiming he was going to get food and come back, but never coming back. POD took it to a vote to determine if Tammy was being unreasonable for considering 9:30am New Year’s Day morning ‘piking’. Tammy was made to drink.**
Tammy nominated SOTB for a piker award for leaving the bar at 9:30am on New Year’s Day claiming he was just going to get something to eat and then come back, but he didn’t. POD took it to the floor to see if Tammy was being unreasonable for calling 9:30am after New Year’s Eve piking. Tammy was made to drink.***
In another award I’m a bit embarrassed to recap, Tony Blair claimed that one of the rules of Hash is that you don’t eat until after the circle is finished, but Pirate Princess had been feeding her daughter. Tony Blair wanted dad, Captain Mortein, to drink. Tony Blair was made to join him for “being a perve”. Pirate Princess cleverly retorted, “Do you want some susu as well?”
In yet another award I’m embarrassed to recap, Eveready said he’d been swimming with a Hash Mary who’d forgotten her bikini and had to swim in a lava lava. A big wave went over, and Eveready wondered why Selena was staring at him, only to realise it was her nipples staring at him! He wished to nominate Selena for the Full Monty award. POD pulled him up on the fact that this event occurred around the time of the Christmas Hash, which was at least three weeks ago. Eveready retorted, “You think I can forget it? It’s burned into my memory!” Eveready was made to drink for not letting go of the past.
Eveready than nominated Tammy for making her car overheat, perhaps due to that sexy red dress she was wearing? Taking right of reply, Tammy said it was a car that she’d had sent over from New Zealand that had overheated, not the one she was driving while wearing that dress.
Sassy nominated SOTB and Adam for guilting her into coming to Hash, when her New Year’s Resolution is to be healthy and not drink too much. Taking the right of reply, SOTB made a long rant about how he said he was going to Hash to have a chat to and say goodbye to Adam, who leaves soon, but he didn’t ask Sassy to come. Adam said he didn’t want to drink because he had to leave and go to dinner with his grandma who has trouble understanding him at the best of times, let alone while he is slurring. Lewinsky said, “Is that all you’ve got?” Sassy drank.
Adam then nominated Wayne for having had a three hour massage earlier that day then complaining that his legs felt a bit tight after the run. Wayne drank.
Tony Blair nominated Slippery, our resident Hash Flash, for bringing his underwater camera with him. Slippery replied, “I thought it was going to rain!” Rather hilariously, as Slippery drank, Mr Whippy was given the camera to take photos, but ended up having it around the wrong way and took photos of himself!
Tony Blair than nominated Kamikaze for claiming to have ten children, but no wife. Kamikaze admitted that he doesn’t have any kids. POD gave Kamikaze a down down for advertising but lying.
SOTB nominated Chris for claiming to have missed Hash for 33 years, when it’s only been going for 25 for so. Chris pointed out that Hash has actually been going for far longer than 33 years, having started in Kuala Lumpur, Malaya (now Malaysia) in 1938: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers SOTB drank.
Being PODs farewell as GM, she passed her farewell down down to your scribe-cum-whipping Mary, yours truly. Having not had any down downs all evening, I was given a double. The glasses were big, the beer ice cold. And I Crashed. And. Burned. I don’t know what happened, but I struggled from the start and had to pass my second glass to SOTB to finish. I have never required a whipping boy before. I appear to have lost my sculling mojo and am more than a little freaked out about it. Tune in next week to see if this is a temporary blip in my drinking career or something more serious.
Captain Mortein then nominated the GM herself for dangerous driving. Heckled by the circle for the poor form of nominating our heavily pregnant GM, Mortein is made to drink himself.
The circle is closed, On On is called, the Hashers dig in to Eveready’s stellar spicy eggplant curry, and start gearing up for the 1500th run, which will now occur in a few weeks’ time when everyone is back and things are organised.
On On!
Lesbian Vampire Killer.
* That doesn’t add up. If there’s 52 Hashes a year, and he’d missed 33 years of Hash, that should be about 1700 runs.
**Your scribe also saw Pro Boner at Why Not on New Year’s Eve at about 3am and received a Hulk Hogan hug. When I asked what she’d been up to that night, she said she was too drunk to answer!
***Tammy confided to your scribe that her New Year’s Eve continued right through to 1pm New Year’s Day, ending up at Myna’s in that sexy red dress.
It had been a really rainy day but by 5:30 it had cleared up and was a beautiful temperature for a nice long Hash run set on flour by SOTB and Lewinsky.
At twilight POD called the circle, her last as GM before she takes a few months off to have a mini-POD.
I counted 27 people in the circle, a decent size following the Christmas and New Year break.
The new boots were Cheena and Neeve from Wellington, brought along by Lewinsky. Wayne and Lisa from the Gold Coast claimed they’d also been brought along by Lewinsky. Our Hash recruitment officer was given a down down.
The retreads were Orgy Georgie, Adam, Chris and Karaoke. Orgy Georgie shot himself in the proverbial foot by claiming his reason for missing Hash was because he’d lost his shoes and had to get new ones. Adam had some lame excuse about living overseas. Chris said he’d missed approximately 1200 Hashes and hadn’t done a Hash Run for about 33 years.* Chris’s excuse was that he’d been busy manufacturing children. “Does your wife know?” POD quipped. A confused Karaoke thought she had been to Hash, and didn’t know why she was a retread.
Orgy Georgie was made to drink out of his shoe. He complained that his shoes weren’t new. Our tough GM retorted, “They’re new to Hash!”
New Year’s Eve was naturally a hotbed of Hash indiscretions. Tammy, Pro Boner and Schanell were all caught out.
Our girl Tammy was nominated for advertising at the Why Not bar for wearing a very sexy red dress.
Pro Boner was given the Hulk Hogan award. She has a predilection for picking people up and hugging them when she’s drunk. On New Year’s Eve Pro Boner picked up her brother Lewinsky at On the Rocks, only to end up On the Floor.**
Schanell was given the Mr Discrete or My Hypocrisy award for complaining about how small a place Samoa is and how you can’t do anything without anyone noticing. Later on he was witnessed very publicly pashing on with someone on the Why Not dance floor! Way to be discrete Schanell!
With Hot Nuts away, Karaoke nominated Tony Blair for the Squashed Nuts award. God, it’s embarrassing even recapping this award. Karaoke claimed Tony Blair had sat on her lap, “Hey, wait a minute!” Eveready interjected, and that she could feel his squashed nuts. POD claimed Karaoke then said “Come back and give me more!” Karaoke replied “I prefer my Samoan nuts!” Karaoke drank, and Eveready manfully finished the drink. “I need gas for tonight,” he said.
The Celebrity award went to Godfather for being nominated for Person of the Year in the Observer. Well done Godfather! In Godfather’s absence the down down was given to his closest relative... Kamikaze! Kamikaze and Godfather obviously have a strong physical resemblance due to their similar hairstyles. “Where’s Snake?” asked an incredulous Kamikaze.
Happy Feet had also been seen in the background on TV so dad Lewinsky was made to drink.
The nominations were opened to the floor. Sassy nominated Mr Whippy for being the only person to actually run in last week’s modest Hash.
Your scribe nominated Slippery for being inappropriately attired on Christmas Day at Samoana. After a night dive he stripped down to his Speedos and stood talking to one of my girlfriends for ages right in front of the main fale.
SOTB nominated Sassy and Little Lani for leaning on coconut trees. Both were served beer, which Lani looked concerned about but managed to down well despite presumably having quite a few years before reaching legal drinking age here.
Kiwi and Adam were given down downs for being attached to their cell phones.
Tammy nominated SOTB for a piker award for leaving Why Not at 9:30am after New Year’s Eve, claiming he was going to get food and come back, but never coming back. POD took it to a vote to determine if Tammy was being unreasonable for considering 9:30am New Year’s Day morning ‘piking’. Tammy was made to drink.**
Tammy nominated SOTB for a piker award for leaving the bar at 9:30am on New Year’s Day claiming he was just going to get something to eat and then come back, but he didn’t. POD took it to the floor to see if Tammy was being unreasonable for calling 9:30am after New Year’s Eve piking. Tammy was made to drink.***
In another award I’m a bit embarrassed to recap, Tony Blair claimed that one of the rules of Hash is that you don’t eat until after the circle is finished, but Pirate Princess had been feeding her daughter. Tony Blair wanted dad, Captain Mortein, to drink. Tony Blair was made to join him for “being a perve”. Pirate Princess cleverly retorted, “Do you want some susu as well?”
In yet another award I’m embarrassed to recap, Eveready said he’d been swimming with a Hash Mary who’d forgotten her bikini and had to swim in a lava lava. A big wave went over, and Eveready wondered why Selena was staring at him, only to realise it was her nipples staring at him! He wished to nominate Selena for the Full Monty award. POD pulled him up on the fact that this event occurred around the time of the Christmas Hash, which was at least three weeks ago. Eveready retorted, “You think I can forget it? It’s burned into my memory!” Eveready was made to drink for not letting go of the past.
Eveready than nominated Tammy for making her car overheat, perhaps due to that sexy red dress she was wearing? Taking right of reply, Tammy said it was a car that she’d had sent over from New Zealand that had overheated, not the one she was driving while wearing that dress.
Sassy nominated SOTB and Adam for guilting her into coming to Hash, when her New Year’s Resolution is to be healthy and not drink too much. Taking the right of reply, SOTB made a long rant about how he said he was going to Hash to have a chat to and say goodbye to Adam, who leaves soon, but he didn’t ask Sassy to come. Adam said he didn’t want to drink because he had to leave and go to dinner with his grandma who has trouble understanding him at the best of times, let alone while he is slurring. Lewinsky said, “Is that all you’ve got?” Sassy drank.
Adam then nominated Wayne for having had a three hour massage earlier that day then complaining that his legs felt a bit tight after the run. Wayne drank.
Tony Blair nominated Slippery, our resident Hash Flash, for bringing his underwater camera with him. Slippery replied, “I thought it was going to rain!” Rather hilariously, as Slippery drank, Mr Whippy was given the camera to take photos, but ended up having it around the wrong way and took photos of himself!
Tony Blair than nominated Kamikaze for claiming to have ten children, but no wife. Kamikaze admitted that he doesn’t have any kids. POD gave Kamikaze a down down for advertising but lying.
SOTB nominated Chris for claiming to have missed Hash for 33 years, when it’s only been going for 25 for so. Chris pointed out that Hash has actually been going for far longer than 33 years, having started in Kuala Lumpur, Malaya (now Malaysia) in 1938: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers SOTB drank.
Being PODs farewell as GM, she passed her farewell down down to your scribe-cum-whipping Mary, yours truly. Having not had any down downs all evening, I was given a double. The glasses were big, the beer ice cold. And I Crashed. And. Burned. I don’t know what happened, but I struggled from the start and had to pass my second glass to SOTB to finish. I have never required a whipping boy before. I appear to have lost my sculling mojo and am more than a little freaked out about it. Tune in next week to see if this is a temporary blip in my drinking career or something more serious.
Captain Mortein then nominated the GM herself for dangerous driving. Heckled by the circle for the poor form of nominating our heavily pregnant GM, Mortein is made to drink himself.
The circle is closed, On On is called, the Hashers dig in to Eveready’s stellar spicy eggplant curry, and start gearing up for the 1500th run, which will now occur in a few weeks’ time when everyone is back and things are organised.
On On!
Lesbian Vampire Killer.
* That doesn’t add up. If there’s 52 Hashes a year, and he’d missed 33 years of Hash, that should be about 1700 runs.
**Your scribe also saw Pro Boner at Why Not on New Year’s Eve at about 3am and received a Hulk Hogan hug. When I asked what she’d been up to that night, she said she was too drunk to answer!
***Tammy confided to your scribe that her New Year’s Eve continued right through to 1pm New Year’s Day, ending up at Myna’s in that sexy red dress.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
More Hash Photos Posted!
Be sure to check out the latest Hash Photo albums:
Many thanks to Slippery for all the great photos. And thanks to Team Desirable for the Perimeter Relay photos. Down down to Mr. Whippy for waiting over a month before posting Slippery's Hash 1492 & 1494 photos!
Many thanks to Slippery for all the great photos. And thanks to Team Desirable for the Perimeter Relay photos. Down down to Mr. Whippy for waiting over a month before posting Slippery's Hash 1492 & 1494 photos!
Friday, January 08, 2010
Hash Run 1499A - Tony Blair and Selena's @ Tuaefu
Hash Run 1499ATony Blair and Selena have kindly offered their home next week for our 1499A Run. It is supposed to be our 1500th Run but Mismanagement has postponed it until we can figure out how we want to celebrate this momentous occasion.
Tony Blair and Selena have requested that everyone wear a mask and celebrate an early Mardi Gras! Bring some beads too :)
Please note that this is a BYO Food Run, so bring something to throw on the BBQ or something pre-cooked and hash will provide the drinks. Bring some swimmers and a change of clothes if you fancy a dip in the pool after the run.
Run starts at 1730 HRS
On On
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
1500th Run
Talofa...
Next week will be our 1500th Run. If you have any ideas, please post comments at the end of this message. Mismanagement is still trying to decide what to do for this momentous occasion. All ideas are welcomed.
On On
Monday, January 04, 2010
Hash Run 4/1/10
Morning,
Today's run will be hosted by Lewinsky, POD, Happy feet and Pro Boner at Taumeasina. Please note that this will be a BYO Food Run and hash will provide the keg as per the norm. The BBQ will be there so bring something to throw on the BBQ and get wet in the rain.
On On
Today's run will be hosted by Lewinsky, POD, Happy feet and Pro Boner at Taumeasina. Please note that this will be a BYO Food Run and hash will provide the keg as per the norm. The BBQ will be there so bring something to throw on the BBQ and get wet in the rain.
On On
Monday, December 28, 2009
End of Year Hash Run
Mahalo to you all. Hope you all had a great Xmas weekend. As there are no hosts for today, the run will be a BYO End of year Run at the STA Fale in town. Run starts normal time at 1730hrs.
OnOn
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Hash Party Later Saturday
After Shafter's unveiling in Vailele followed by some of his favorite ice cold drafts at headquarter's (See the announcement and map below), take a break, hose down, then come out to the Tropicana nightclub at 8 PM and dance. Join your hash mates for some cold drinks, fun dancing, and great company.
On On!
On On!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Shafters Gravestone Unveiling- Saturday 20th December 2009
Talofa AHHH,
This coming Saturday, 20th December 2009 will be Shafter's Gravestone Unveiling at 4pm. This will be done up at the grave site and it would be great to see you all there. This will be followed by a few drinks at HQ at approx 5pm onwards.
Also, Flo is asking if anyone has access to a tent that we could use on the day. If you have a small tent/marquee, please contact Flo on 7268765. It would be much appreciated. If Ive missed anything out, please contact Flo or POD for more details.
Map is below.
On On
This coming Saturday, 20th December 2009 will be Shafter's Gravestone Unveiling at 4pm. This will be done up at the grave site and it would be great to see you all there. This will be followed by a few drinks at HQ at approx 5pm onwards.
Also, Flo is asking if anyone has access to a tent that we could use on the day. If you have a small tent/marquee, please contact Flo on 7268765. It would be much appreciated. If Ive missed anything out, please contact Flo or POD for more details.
Map is below.
On On
Hash Trash- Run 1495
Hash Trash 1495
Being a creature of the night, your scribe rarely manages to make it to Hash on time. Yet somehow this week I managed to turn up early, only to be greeted by a shirtless Hot Nuts encouraging all and sundry to do stretches, which he then demonstrated. Note to self: turn up at the usual 5:35pm next week.
Hosted by POD, Lewinsky, Happy Feet and Pro Boner, Taumeasina is always a good venue for Hash, and a reasonable pack of about twenty five Hashers did the run. Many more turned up for the circle and BBQ only. Sure it’s near Christmas, but that’s no excuse! It’s all the more reason to exercise before all the drinking and debauchery. Down downs for all those who don’t do the run next time GM?
After the run I enjoyed a swim at twilight with cousin-of-vampire Mele, and must thank the lovely Zsa Zsa for bringing us beer while we swam.
The circle, led by GM POD, was raucous and rowdy.
New boots were Tamlyn, a volunteer whose been in Samoa for nine months doing permaculture (‘Is that like a hairdresser?’ SOTB quipped), and three girls on holiday from New Zealand, all brought along by SOTB. It was not clear if these were new girls or part of the ten that earned him last week’s slut award.
Retreads were Delicious, Lezzie, Flash, Emmy and JC.
As there were no new boots, AC/DC took a down down. He was fast, even by my standards!
Incredibly enough, your Lesbian Vampire Killer took out the celebrity award for the second week in a row for having a picture in the paper. Poumuli, come back! I’m not used to this attention. I dragged in Tamlyn for having been in the same picture, giving Tam her first, and perhaps only, down down.
Reaching new lows for the Hash House Harriers, Vai Vai once again lashed out at a fellow Hash man. Last week it was throwing stones at a Hash man, this week it was dirt. What’s next Vai Vai? Let him without sin cast the first stone, etc, etc.
One of the Hash Marys, Emmy, had celebrated a birthday in the last week, and made the mistake of trying to keep up the pace set by JC, a seasoned drinker. Cue to Emmy throwing up, with JC rubbing her back in support. Emmy’s boyfriend Flash comes along... and rubs JC’s back! Down downs for all three.
The GM asked if any Hashers had ever been asked by SOTB if they’d like a drink. No one could remember such a momentous occasion occurring. Yet there he was, asking his female guests if they would like drinks. A large down down was awarded to SOTB for ‘playing waitress to the ladies’.
For neglect in the line of duty, Lewinsky was given a down down for a situation where a patron of headquarters was hit in the head by a flying beer bottle.
Slippery awarded Mr Whippy a t-shirt from the boutique retail outlet that is Mr Lava Lava which said ‘Beer Delivery Guy’. He awarded your scribe an extra large men’s t-shit from the same boutique announcing me as a ‘Chuggin’ Monkey’. I think I prefer being a vampire to a monkey. Find me a vampire t-shirt in a ladies size 12 Slippery! Down downs for all three.
Sassy gave Vai Vai and Slippery down downs for being inappropriate on the run and discussing her virginity! One Hash man told her how to become a virgin again, while the other offered to ‘test out her virginity’.
SOTB awarded Ray Charles the dangerous driving award for driving some Hash men home from Le Manumea in the wee hours of Friday morning on the wrong side of the road. Taking the right of reply, Ray Charles said, ‘they made me do it!’ Lewinsky retorted that Ray Charles never leaves his red pick up anywhere but at home or at work. Case closed.
AC/DC was given an award for failing his ethics exam at work – allegedly the pass rate was 80%, while AC got 20%. He re-sat the exam, and somehow passed. Sassy asked ‘Who did you copy off?’ Madam GM retorted, ‘Not you!’
SOTB tried to accuse Sassy of leading him astray from his efforts to lose weight by suggesting fatty curry for lunch. This backfired and SOTB was made to drink.
AC/DC awarded FBI an award for ‘the only idiot who looks like he’s in the sun’ for wearing sunglasses. FBI challenged AC/DC as ‘a guy who’s passed his ethics exam yet calls people idiots’. FBI refused to remove his sunnies on the first down down and was made to keep drinking until he did.
Sassy gave Lezzie a down down for being irresponsible and not booking a meeting room.
Flash gave Delicious an award for failing to deliver a keg which she drank at her usual fast speed. Sensational, as Lewinsky would say.
SOTB gave Crash a down down for hiding last week and avoiding his down downs.
To wrap up the circle, the hares Sassy and SOTB and hosts Lewinsky and Pro Boner drank.
Our beloved Godfather was sad to announce that for the first time in Apia Hash history, he will not be able to attend the Christmas run. He was given a down down while AC/DC played maestro and a few carols were sung after the circle.
Post circle our hosts put on a delicious feed and Slippery managed to terrorise even our youngest Hash Marys – Happy Feet and Annalisa – by taking 380 photos during the night. A new personal record apparently.
This week’s run is the Christmas Run. Dress up in your finest Christmas costume, bring salads, pupu (nibbles) and if you’d like to help out, turn up at the Snake Pit from 3pm Monday.
Being a creature of the night, your scribe rarely manages to make it to Hash on time. Yet somehow this week I managed to turn up early, only to be greeted by a shirtless Hot Nuts encouraging all and sundry to do stretches, which he then demonstrated. Note to self: turn up at the usual 5:35pm next week.
Hosted by POD, Lewinsky, Happy Feet and Pro Boner, Taumeasina is always a good venue for Hash, and a reasonable pack of about twenty five Hashers did the run. Many more turned up for the circle and BBQ only. Sure it’s near Christmas, but that’s no excuse! It’s all the more reason to exercise before all the drinking and debauchery. Down downs for all those who don’t do the run next time GM?
After the run I enjoyed a swim at twilight with cousin-of-vampire Mele, and must thank the lovely Zsa Zsa for bringing us beer while we swam.
The circle, led by GM POD, was raucous and rowdy.
New boots were Tamlyn, a volunteer whose been in Samoa for nine months doing permaculture (‘Is that like a hairdresser?’ SOTB quipped), and three girls on holiday from New Zealand, all brought along by SOTB. It was not clear if these were new girls or part of the ten that earned him last week’s slut award.
Retreads were Delicious, Lezzie, Flash, Emmy and JC.
As there were no new boots, AC/DC took a down down. He was fast, even by my standards!
Incredibly enough, your Lesbian Vampire Killer took out the celebrity award for the second week in a row for having a picture in the paper. Poumuli, come back! I’m not used to this attention. I dragged in Tamlyn for having been in the same picture, giving Tam her first, and perhaps only, down down.
Reaching new lows for the Hash House Harriers, Vai Vai once again lashed out at a fellow Hash man. Last week it was throwing stones at a Hash man, this week it was dirt. What’s next Vai Vai? Let him without sin cast the first stone, etc, etc.
One of the Hash Marys, Emmy, had celebrated a birthday in the last week, and made the mistake of trying to keep up the pace set by JC, a seasoned drinker. Cue to Emmy throwing up, with JC rubbing her back in support. Emmy’s boyfriend Flash comes along... and rubs JC’s back! Down downs for all three.
The GM asked if any Hashers had ever been asked by SOTB if they’d like a drink. No one could remember such a momentous occasion occurring. Yet there he was, asking his female guests if they would like drinks. A large down down was awarded to SOTB for ‘playing waitress to the ladies’.
For neglect in the line of duty, Lewinsky was given a down down for a situation where a patron of headquarters was hit in the head by a flying beer bottle.
Slippery awarded Mr Whippy a t-shirt from the boutique retail outlet that is Mr Lava Lava which said ‘Beer Delivery Guy’. He awarded your scribe an extra large men’s t-shit from the same boutique announcing me as a ‘Chuggin’ Monkey’. I think I prefer being a vampire to a monkey. Find me a vampire t-shirt in a ladies size 12 Slippery! Down downs for all three.
Sassy gave Vai Vai and Slippery down downs for being inappropriate on the run and discussing her virginity! One Hash man told her how to become a virgin again, while the other offered to ‘test out her virginity’.
SOTB awarded Ray Charles the dangerous driving award for driving some Hash men home from Le Manumea in the wee hours of Friday morning on the wrong side of the road. Taking the right of reply, Ray Charles said, ‘they made me do it!’ Lewinsky retorted that Ray Charles never leaves his red pick up anywhere but at home or at work. Case closed.
AC/DC was given an award for failing his ethics exam at work – allegedly the pass rate was 80%, while AC got 20%. He re-sat the exam, and somehow passed. Sassy asked ‘Who did you copy off?’ Madam GM retorted, ‘Not you!’
SOTB tried to accuse Sassy of leading him astray from his efforts to lose weight by suggesting fatty curry for lunch. This backfired and SOTB was made to drink.
AC/DC awarded FBI an award for ‘the only idiot who looks like he’s in the sun’ for wearing sunglasses. FBI challenged AC/DC as ‘a guy who’s passed his ethics exam yet calls people idiots’. FBI refused to remove his sunnies on the first down down and was made to keep drinking until he did.
Sassy gave Lezzie a down down for being irresponsible and not booking a meeting room.
Flash gave Delicious an award for failing to deliver a keg which she drank at her usual fast speed. Sensational, as Lewinsky would say.
SOTB gave Crash a down down for hiding last week and avoiding his down downs.
To wrap up the circle, the hares Sassy and SOTB and hosts Lewinsky and Pro Boner drank.
Our beloved Godfather was sad to announce that for the first time in Apia Hash history, he will not be able to attend the Christmas run. He was given a down down while AC/DC played maestro and a few carols were sung after the circle.
Post circle our hosts put on a delicious feed and Slippery managed to terrorise even our youngest Hash Marys – Happy Feet and Annalisa – by taking 380 photos during the night. A new personal record apparently.
This week’s run is the Christmas Run. Dress up in your finest Christmas costume, bring salads, pupu (nibbles) and if you’d like to help out, turn up at the Snake Pit from 3pm Monday.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Hash Christmas Run- 1496 @ The Snake Pit
Ho Ho Ho...Next weeks run will be the Hash Xmas run at the Snake Pit. Dress up in your best X-mas Gear and as per the norm, we will be doing our visits (Pub Crawl) to a few other establishments around the town area, singing a few Christmas Carols and having a few beverages.
Hash will be providing the meats for the BBQ/Dinner, and if the Hasher's could bring something to accompany the Meats, be it a Salad, or something else, that would be much appreciated. (much like the Thanks Giving Run)
GM has also advised that its best to take a taxi on this night or car pool with a sober driver as we have a SPECIAL BREW on Monday! Snake will provide transport for all others that come by taxi on the night...except for those who live out by the airport...You have been warned..hehe
Map is below if you don't know where the Snake Pit is. See you there!
On On
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
A little something from Poumuli
Heres a little note from Poumuli. Happy Reading..looks like he wont be back for some time!
I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to shit yourself' chilli. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your a$$ cheeks WILL fall off. Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbours as thunder and lightning.
Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty titbits. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chilli from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot. There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odour might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it. I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally?
Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odour so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake. Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down , if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.
Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofabitch!', then quickly left.
Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.' That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return. Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chilli, so I consumed two more bowls.
The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store..
I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to shit yourself' chilli. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your a$$ cheeks WILL fall off. Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbours as thunder and lightning.
Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty titbits. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chilli from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot. There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odour might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it. I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally?
Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odour so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake. Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down , if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.
Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofabitch!', then quickly left.
Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.' That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return. Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chilli, so I consumed two more bowls.
The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store..
Friday, December 04, 2009
Hash Run 1495 - Lewinsky, POD, Happy Feet, & Probona
G'day to you all. Next weeks run will be hosted by Lewinsky, Probona, Princess of Darkness, and Happy feet at their home in Taumeasina. Head out towards Moataa and turn into the Taumeasina Reserve and head over to their house. Bring a change of clothes if you fancy a dip in the ocean after the run. You may already be wet from the run so bring some dry clothes. Run starts normal time: 1730 hrs.
On On.
Late note: Saw Lewinski Sunday morning. Said, "Bring some togs and a smile." Later adding, "...grumpy people can stay home!" :) It should be another fantastic Hash.
On On.
Late note: Saw Lewinski Sunday morning. Said, "Bring some togs and a smile." Later adding, "...grumpy people can stay home!" :) It should be another fantastic Hash.
Hash Trash - Run 1494
As your trusty scribe Poumuli is away, he has passed over his taser quill to Lesbian Vampire Killer, who is honoured to take on the role of sub-assistant-vice-trainee-scribe in his absence.
Hosted by Tony Blair and Selena at Tuaefu, and attended by a pack of close to forty, the trail was notable for a huge amount of dogs and a trail no one managed to find successfully. Hailing as I do from Transylvania (or is it Lesbos?) your scribe enjoyed the slightly cooler weather and bit of rain that occurred during the run.
GM for the night was initially POD, and later SOTB.
Newbies were Nat and Matt from Australia, brought along by Sassy Girl and here for a bit of business, a bit of a holiday; Karen from Queensland who is visiting Ros; Mele from New York who has just moved to Samoa; and Emmanuel from Bolivia, who is here to visit his family and get married.
The retreads were Long Dong Silver, Pro Boner and Cocaine. Cocaine announced she was here to have a holiday and get married. Eveready questioned Cocaine as to why she has two kids already and is only getting married now.
Retread Anton was pulled up for not declaring himself as a retread and made to drink.
There were no new shoes.
Hare Cocaine declared that everyone shortcutted on the run. Rather than having a mass down down and a prematurely ended Hash circle, leaders of the pack Hot Nuts, Swinger and Larry were made to drink.
Cocaine and Ring Ring were dobbed in by Madam GM for breaking the first rule of trail setting – don’t double up on the trail. Ring Ring tried and failed to deny the accusation.
Luke and Zsa Zsa were then accused of breaking another rule of Hash – don’t swim in Tony Blair and Selena’s pool before the circle. Zsa Zsa replied “It was a very nice swim. I was swimming doggy style!”
The lovely Pirate Princess was nominated by the GM for a 21st birthday award, which occurs on the 1st of December. Lewinsky presented her with a beer and declared her “finally legal”.
The celebrity award went to myself, a double for being in the newspaper and on TV. As Poumuli gets this award pretty much every week, while I never do, your scribe is now slightly concerned that in taking on Poumuli’s role as scribe she is slowly taking on the characteristics of Poumuli. Don’t be surprised to see me speaking Norwegian and tasering puppies at next week’s run.
The Christmas party season has begun, surely a breeding ground for down-down worthy incidents.
The One the Rocks Christmas Party had been held on the weekend and Crash was given the living-up-to-your-Hash-name award for crashing a car. In Crash’s absence, Pro Boner and Lewinsky were made to drink.
Your scribe was nominated by Zsa Zsa for attending the movie star themed SPREP Christmas Party yet not dressing up as a Lesbian Vampire Killer. I responded that with such that hash name it is hard to know exactly what to dress up as. Vampire? Lesbian? Killer Lesbian? By vote, Zsa Zsa was made to drink, but ended up passing half of it the whipping girl with the notebook anyway.
Sassy gave Mr Whippy a down down for having a matai title yet not being able to crack a nut. Tony Blair then accused Mr Whippy of drinking with the pumpkin hat on, but this backfired as apparently the pumpkin hat can be worn during the circle. “Rule 69E” according to Lewinsky.
Your Lesbian Vampire Killer then invited her cousin Mele to partake in her first down down, to see if fast skolling runs in the blood (pun intended). Turns out it does! Yours truly was made to drink as well.
Larry gave Bits and Pieces the Whinging Dutchman award for turning up late to Hash, not doing the run, and not singing the Hash song.
A knife-wielding Eveready nominated Tony Blair for asking him to do some work for him on a Sunday, which Eveready then completed, only for Tony Blair to say they didn’t need it anymore. Tony Blair declared him a knife-wielding maniac and Tony Blair, Selena and Eveready were all made to drink.
Sassy gave the slut award to SOTB, who started off in Savaii with five girls and ended up with ten.
Tony Blair gave Zsa Zsa an award after he found a sugar packet out at Stevenson’s with a quote from Zsa Zsa Gabor herself: “I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get divorced I keep the house.” Zsa Zsa drank, accompanied by Pro Boner and Lewinsky. Zsa Zsa amazed everyone, most of all himself, by finishing his drink first.
Swinger gave Larry an award for throwing rocks at other Hash men.
Ros noted that it was the Slapper’s 13th birthday, and that in her absence her closest relative, the Mad Hatter, should drink. Mad Hatter sneakily evaded this award, leaving Ros to drink, accompanied by Lewinsky for trying to take over as GM.
Eveready noted that for the first time in Hash history, people turned up with ready-made Hash names - Matt and Nat. “So let’s see if they’re Hash material,” he said. Nat showed she is certainly Hash Mary material, by finishing her drink first. Matt was made to drink again for practice.
Tony Blair was made to wear the pumpkin hat for falsely accusing Mr Whippy. Under torchlight interrogation from the GM, it was exposed that while Tony Blair’s top matched the hat, he was in fact wearing the hat around the wrong way. Epic fail from Tony Blair.
The monkette then announced that “the monk is here” and the monk arrived to dish out a large round of initiations into the cult that is the Apia hash.
The monk had heard Larry had been causing problems and chaos with the water people, and also that he loves Vailima. Hence he was christened Vai Vai. Vai for water, and Vai for Vailima.
The monk had heard that Emmanuelle was famous, a genius, and addicted to Cocaine. He was named Maradona.
Mandy was named Chook because she loves shopping and gets up to mischief while doing it. The Monk was particularly harsh on chook, cracking eggs on her head that Chook later noted “felt like they were hard boiled”.
Next up was the “beautiful young man Noel” who loves to mediate. He was named Yogi Bear.
Yogi Bear’s brother Gabriel was next, named the Sundance Kid.
The Monk than announced she was off to find her reindeer, and promptly departed into the night.
AC/DC had turned up by this time and was given a latecomer award.
Crash was given another award, this time from Eveready, for failing to produce fish for the Toonai. After some discussion, Lewinsky was left holding the down down.
Hot Nuts berated Swinger for having no sense of adventure after deciding not to go on a waterfall walk because it was raining. They ended up having coffee at a beach resort instead. Swinger declared it was Hot Nuts who didn’t want to walk in the rain. The GM justifiably awarded both men the Mangina award.
In something your scribe had never seen in her time at Hash, Zsa Zsa dobbed himself in for a down down. He had been driving Dawn Raid and Poumuli to the airport in the rain and they had hit their heads on the roof when Zsa Zsa went over a speed hump. Wear your seatbelts next time boys!
To wrap up, hares Ring Ring and Cocaine, hosts Tony Blair, Selena and Maradona all drank.
Next week’s run will be hosted by POD and Lewinsky at Taumasina.
On On,
Lesbian Vampire Killer.
Hosted by Tony Blair and Selena at Tuaefu, and attended by a pack of close to forty, the trail was notable for a huge amount of dogs and a trail no one managed to find successfully. Hailing as I do from Transylvania (or is it Lesbos?) your scribe enjoyed the slightly cooler weather and bit of rain that occurred during the run.
GM for the night was initially POD, and later SOTB.
Newbies were Nat and Matt from Australia, brought along by Sassy Girl and here for a bit of business, a bit of a holiday; Karen from Queensland who is visiting Ros; Mele from New York who has just moved to Samoa; and Emmanuel from Bolivia, who is here to visit his family and get married.
The retreads were Long Dong Silver, Pro Boner and Cocaine. Cocaine announced she was here to have a holiday and get married. Eveready questioned Cocaine as to why she has two kids already and is only getting married now.
Retread Anton was pulled up for not declaring himself as a retread and made to drink.
There were no new shoes.
Hare Cocaine declared that everyone shortcutted on the run. Rather than having a mass down down and a prematurely ended Hash circle, leaders of the pack Hot Nuts, Swinger and Larry were made to drink.
Cocaine and Ring Ring were dobbed in by Madam GM for breaking the first rule of trail setting – don’t double up on the trail. Ring Ring tried and failed to deny the accusation.
Luke and Zsa Zsa were then accused of breaking another rule of Hash – don’t swim in Tony Blair and Selena’s pool before the circle. Zsa Zsa replied “It was a very nice swim. I was swimming doggy style!”
The lovely Pirate Princess was nominated by the GM for a 21st birthday award, which occurs on the 1st of December. Lewinsky presented her with a beer and declared her “finally legal”.
The celebrity award went to myself, a double for being in the newspaper and on TV. As Poumuli gets this award pretty much every week, while I never do, your scribe is now slightly concerned that in taking on Poumuli’s role as scribe she is slowly taking on the characteristics of Poumuli. Don’t be surprised to see me speaking Norwegian and tasering puppies at next week’s run.
The Christmas party season has begun, surely a breeding ground for down-down worthy incidents.
The One the Rocks Christmas Party had been held on the weekend and Crash was given the living-up-to-your-Hash-name award for crashing a car. In Crash’s absence, Pro Boner and Lewinsky were made to drink.
Your scribe was nominated by Zsa Zsa for attending the movie star themed SPREP Christmas Party yet not dressing up as a Lesbian Vampire Killer. I responded that with such that hash name it is hard to know exactly what to dress up as. Vampire? Lesbian? Killer Lesbian? By vote, Zsa Zsa was made to drink, but ended up passing half of it the whipping girl with the notebook anyway.
Sassy gave Mr Whippy a down down for having a matai title yet not being able to crack a nut. Tony Blair then accused Mr Whippy of drinking with the pumpkin hat on, but this backfired as apparently the pumpkin hat can be worn during the circle. “Rule 69E” according to Lewinsky.
Your Lesbian Vampire Killer then invited her cousin Mele to partake in her first down down, to see if fast skolling runs in the blood (pun intended). Turns out it does! Yours truly was made to drink as well.
Larry gave Bits and Pieces the Whinging Dutchman award for turning up late to Hash, not doing the run, and not singing the Hash song.
A knife-wielding Eveready nominated Tony Blair for asking him to do some work for him on a Sunday, which Eveready then completed, only for Tony Blair to say they didn’t need it anymore. Tony Blair declared him a knife-wielding maniac and Tony Blair, Selena and Eveready were all made to drink.
Sassy gave the slut award to SOTB, who started off in Savaii with five girls and ended up with ten.
Tony Blair gave Zsa Zsa an award after he found a sugar packet out at Stevenson’s with a quote from Zsa Zsa Gabor herself: “I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get divorced I keep the house.” Zsa Zsa drank, accompanied by Pro Boner and Lewinsky. Zsa Zsa amazed everyone, most of all himself, by finishing his drink first.
Swinger gave Larry an award for throwing rocks at other Hash men.
Ros noted that it was the Slapper’s 13th birthday, and that in her absence her closest relative, the Mad Hatter, should drink. Mad Hatter sneakily evaded this award, leaving Ros to drink, accompanied by Lewinsky for trying to take over as GM.
Eveready noted that for the first time in Hash history, people turned up with ready-made Hash names - Matt and Nat. “So let’s see if they’re Hash material,” he said. Nat showed she is certainly Hash Mary material, by finishing her drink first. Matt was made to drink again for practice.
Tony Blair was made to wear the pumpkin hat for falsely accusing Mr Whippy. Under torchlight interrogation from the GM, it was exposed that while Tony Blair’s top matched the hat, he was in fact wearing the hat around the wrong way. Epic fail from Tony Blair.
The monkette then announced that “the monk is here” and the monk arrived to dish out a large round of initiations into the cult that is the Apia hash.
The monk had heard Larry had been causing problems and chaos with the water people, and also that he loves Vailima. Hence he was christened Vai Vai. Vai for water, and Vai for Vailima.
The monk had heard that Emmanuelle was famous, a genius, and addicted to Cocaine. He was named Maradona.
Mandy was named Chook because she loves shopping and gets up to mischief while doing it. The Monk was particularly harsh on chook, cracking eggs on her head that Chook later noted “felt like they were hard boiled”.
Next up was the “beautiful young man Noel” who loves to mediate. He was named Yogi Bear.
Yogi Bear’s brother Gabriel was next, named the Sundance Kid.
The Monk than announced she was off to find her reindeer, and promptly departed into the night.
AC/DC had turned up by this time and was given a latecomer award.
Crash was given another award, this time from Eveready, for failing to produce fish for the Toonai. After some discussion, Lewinsky was left holding the down down.
Hot Nuts berated Swinger for having no sense of adventure after deciding not to go on a waterfall walk because it was raining. They ended up having coffee at a beach resort instead. Swinger declared it was Hot Nuts who didn’t want to walk in the rain. The GM justifiably awarded both men the Mangina award.
In something your scribe had never seen in her time at Hash, Zsa Zsa dobbed himself in for a down down. He had been driving Dawn Raid and Poumuli to the airport in the rain and they had hit their heads on the roof when Zsa Zsa went over a speed hump. Wear your seatbelts next time boys!
To wrap up, hares Ring Ring and Cocaine, hosts Tony Blair, Selena and Maradona all drank.
Next week’s run will be hosted by POD and Lewinsky at Taumasina.
On On,
Lesbian Vampire Killer.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Hash Run 1494 - Mon 30 Nov 2009
Hi everyone, tonight's run will be hosted by Cocaine, Tony Blair, and Selena at their home in Tuaefu. For you newbees, this is a great location, that often times includes a nice run through the bush at Papase'ea. Even more, there's a pool. So bring a suit.
On On!
On On!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Hash Trash - Run 1493
The hash was hosted by Mr and Mrs Whippy and Mr and Mrs Whippy Senior in Lotopa. It was a nice sunny afternoon as the large pack set out down the Lotopa streets, finding three false trails right off the bat. It got a bit confusing seeing Karaoke actually leading the pack twice. The trail however was delightfully flat and the dog population warned off by the arrival of Tasers in the country. We finished off turning around the LDS Temple and then on-home to the Whippy compound.
Princess of Darkness returned as GM and got the circle organized. There were two newcomers to Hash – Alicia and Luke –both from NZ, and neither had been told of the names rule, so Hot Nuts and Zsa Zsa got the Rules on Names Award. Zsa Zsa as usual made it a lengthy one. Rethreads were David (who ran in the Hash in 1992) and Mr and Mrs Whippy Senior, who both also violated the names rules, earning Mr Whippy a double. There were no new shoes, so AC/DC took that award, only to get a second one for wearing sunglasses.
FBI showed up late, and was excused from taking his Latecomer Award in Vailima, but Lewinsky had poured vodka in his Sprite anyway, so it was heavy going.
The GM repeated the Animal Cruelty Award to Poumuli for his enthusiastic use of the new Taser – for clarification – it was not a puppy, but a grown dog. It was the big cup, too.
Crash Bandicoot received the Messing Up 1st Major Job Award for not putting appropriate openings on a Minister’s car seats. The Smuggling Award had to go to Tony Blair and Selena for trying to take endangered species to Europe.
The GM described the scene as one of the Hashers rushed back to base to get at the beer, so Vailimaholic Award went to Larry. Poumuli sought approval for a new Pumpkin Award to any Hasher that leaves Hash early for no convincing reason. The first winner was Mr Whippy who will now wear the Pumpkin Hat until he can dob it off on someone else.
Crash Bandicoot described what could either be Hashmanlike Conduct or Deceit, but Lewinsky had snuck out saying he was fixing a cappuccino machine and instead went fishing in Savaii.
Captain Mortein described the wreckless driving of a hash mere, but the story got a bit confused as to cause and effect, so he joined Screamer in the award.
Tony Blair suggested that Poumuli should get a Ignorance of History Award, as today was Pearl Harbour Day, but Kamikaze seemed an obvious target instead. However, Eveready came forward with the fact check that the date in question was 7 December, to which Tony Blair countered that it was Eveready who had told him the story! Both took the award.
BB noted that last week’s hash had been an important one, and that several hashers had abandoned hash in favour of going to the SPREP opening function – Swinger, Hot Nuts, Tammi and Screamer.
Tammi nominated a new hasher for the Line Jumping the Hash Cash Award, but she got the name wrong so she joined “Bwyan” or David.
Strangler nominated Mr Whippy for the Pollution Award for taking us through several areas with congested traffic. There followed some lighthearted and frankly disgusting discussion of Zsa Zsa’s bike, in particular the upturned front and the ballspace. In the end Eveready, Zsa Zsa, Snake and later on Chilindrina for Sympathy Award. AC/DC and FBI were spotted holding up a brand new house – Leaning Award.
Eveready had spotted BB coming late and drove part of the trail, so a Partial Chariot Riding Award was handed out. Meanwhile Tony Blair nominated Lewinsky for ruining the family nature of hash for various horrible acts including feeding Happy Feet beer, so he got a Pour Parenting Award.
AC/DC nominated Dawn Raid for not living up to his Hash name by not overstaying and rather leaving. BB had given a Hasher a ride in her car, who had promptly left his shoes behind and giving Swinger cause for grief, so AC/DC stepped up for a Getting Hash Mere Into Trouble Award. Eveready nominated Tony Blair for getting drinks at HQ1 and not paying for them. A more solemn moment came as Mr Whippy explained the meaning and nature of Thanksgiving, a time for getting together and sharing of the harvest, which was what Hash was all about as well. This was then ruined by Captain Mortein’s comment about whether Thanksgiving happened before or after the Indians were slaughtered.
The Hosts and the Hare received warm accolades from the Hash, and Godfather blessed our partaking of the heavenly bounty that was laid out for us to enjoy.
Your Scribe will be off again, but back on 25th of January.
On On,
Poumuli.
Princess of Darkness returned as GM and got the circle organized. There were two newcomers to Hash – Alicia and Luke –both from NZ, and neither had been told of the names rule, so Hot Nuts and Zsa Zsa got the Rules on Names Award. Zsa Zsa as usual made it a lengthy one. Rethreads were David (who ran in the Hash in 1992) and Mr and Mrs Whippy Senior, who both also violated the names rules, earning Mr Whippy a double. There were no new shoes, so AC/DC took that award, only to get a second one for wearing sunglasses.
FBI showed up late, and was excused from taking his Latecomer Award in Vailima, but Lewinsky had poured vodka in his Sprite anyway, so it was heavy going.
The GM repeated the Animal Cruelty Award to Poumuli for his enthusiastic use of the new Taser – for clarification – it was not a puppy, but a grown dog. It was the big cup, too.
Crash Bandicoot received the Messing Up 1st Major Job Award for not putting appropriate openings on a Minister’s car seats. The Smuggling Award had to go to Tony Blair and Selena for trying to take endangered species to Europe.
The GM described the scene as one of the Hashers rushed back to base to get at the beer, so Vailimaholic Award went to Larry. Poumuli sought approval for a new Pumpkin Award to any Hasher that leaves Hash early for no convincing reason. The first winner was Mr Whippy who will now wear the Pumpkin Hat until he can dob it off on someone else.
Crash Bandicoot described what could either be Hashmanlike Conduct or Deceit, but Lewinsky had snuck out saying he was fixing a cappuccino machine and instead went fishing in Savaii.
Captain Mortein described the wreckless driving of a hash mere, but the story got a bit confused as to cause and effect, so he joined Screamer in the award.
Tony Blair suggested that Poumuli should get a Ignorance of History Award, as today was Pearl Harbour Day, but Kamikaze seemed an obvious target instead. However, Eveready came forward with the fact check that the date in question was 7 December, to which Tony Blair countered that it was Eveready who had told him the story! Both took the award.
BB noted that last week’s hash had been an important one, and that several hashers had abandoned hash in favour of going to the SPREP opening function – Swinger, Hot Nuts, Tammi and Screamer.
Tammi nominated a new hasher for the Line Jumping the Hash Cash Award, but she got the name wrong so she joined “Bwyan” or David.
Strangler nominated Mr Whippy for the Pollution Award for taking us through several areas with congested traffic. There followed some lighthearted and frankly disgusting discussion of Zsa Zsa’s bike, in particular the upturned front and the ballspace. In the end Eveready, Zsa Zsa, Snake and later on Chilindrina for Sympathy Award. AC/DC and FBI were spotted holding up a brand new house – Leaning Award.
Eveready had spotted BB coming late and drove part of the trail, so a Partial Chariot Riding Award was handed out. Meanwhile Tony Blair nominated Lewinsky for ruining the family nature of hash for various horrible acts including feeding Happy Feet beer, so he got a Pour Parenting Award.
AC/DC nominated Dawn Raid for not living up to his Hash name by not overstaying and rather leaving. BB had given a Hasher a ride in her car, who had promptly left his shoes behind and giving Swinger cause for grief, so AC/DC stepped up for a Getting Hash Mere Into Trouble Award. Eveready nominated Tony Blair for getting drinks at HQ1 and not paying for them. A more solemn moment came as Mr Whippy explained the meaning and nature of Thanksgiving, a time for getting together and sharing of the harvest, which was what Hash was all about as well. This was then ruined by Captain Mortein’s comment about whether Thanksgiving happened before or after the Indians were slaughtered.
The Hosts and the Hare received warm accolades from the Hash, and Godfather blessed our partaking of the heavenly bounty that was laid out for us to enjoy.
Your Scribe will be off again, but back on 25th of January.
On On,
Poumuli.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Hash Run 1493 - Mon 23 Nov 2009
Hash Run 1493 will be hosted by the Whippy family in Lotopa (see map).We will be celebrating Thanksgiving! We hope to have a turkey for the troops too :)
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, where everyone comes together and shares, this will be a pot luck run - so please bring a cooked dish. There will be no BBQ (we are giving the Hash chefs the night off).
Rumors are that Mr. Whippy is cooking-up his Nuclear Chili - The Psycho Dave Blend.
On On!
Hash Trash - Run 1492
The hash was hosted by Larry and Mandy at their house in Vailima next to the SPREP Compound. A good turnout for this birthday run for both Larry and Mr. Whippy, and the pack set off down the SPREP road and into the woodlands. A bit of confusion as the arrow Larry had left was so large that it was invisible at first, but the trail led down the creek and over some strategically logged trees placed there by MAFF. So much for this being a conservation area. Your Scribe had a sprained toe so he lost the pack, but apparently there was some interesting trails blazed through buildings and other properties. A good jomp through the area in other words.
Strangler stepped in as GM and noted that the year 1492 was the year Columbus “discovered” America, so a Discovery Award was given to Selena, Walking Eagle, Eveready, Fang and Chilindrina for being Americanos. Tony Blair tried a historical accuracy revision to the award by calling on the Vikings in the Hash to be awarded since everyone knows that the Vikings, particularly the Norwegian Vikings were the first Europeans to set foot, pillage and murder on American soil. But Strangler declined on that one, as the year could not be ascertained, and Poumuli knows not to volunteer information that leads to him getting down downs.
There were three newcomers to Hash, Matt from Auckland (guest of Dizzy), Ross and Mana from Melbourne (guests of Larry and Mandy). Rethreads were Walking Eagle and Dizzy – neither of whom had a good excuse. New Boots were spotted, as Dizzy only explained to Matt the rules upon arrival at the Hash. But he took the award in good stride, until Dawn Raid interfered and got the Non-Enlightenment Award. Celebrity Awards went to Larry, Dawn Raid, Poumuli and Tony Blair.
Crash Bandicoot arrived, late and with the Hash Mugs, and his claim of working (barely) was not accepted so he got the Late Mugs Award.
Several Hash Meres joined in describing some rather inappropriate behavior, so Slippery received the Too Much Information (Disclosure Act 2009) for describing his passions over the years. The fact that he was taking a photo of a lactating Pirate Princess while facing the accusation only enlarged the mug to a big one.
Most unfairly Poumuli was given the Smuggling Award for bringing in contraband tasers etc., even if it was used at the start of the run to deter some mangy charging dogs. Tony Blair tried to use the illegal arms to taser Poumuli during the award but has clumsy hands – explains Larry’s water situation.
Last Friday had been declared a Government half day off for sports, but many Government employees in the Hash declined to take part. So for Unsportsmanlike Conduct Award we got Rose, Lesbian Vampire Killer and Skinny Dipper. Dawn Raid slipped on LVK’s hash name and joined in. AC/DC and Dizzy were both caught leaning, and AC/CD doubled his award for wearing Bedouin headgear.
Sassygirl nominated Tammi for the Sexual Harassment Award for being untowards direct to a waiter, while Larry took a Humiliation Award and voluntarily handed over 4 chocolate ̩clairs to Sassygirl. Slippery had been shopping and had a Sassy Chick tanktop for Sassygirl and a Wahoo shirt (something about Wahoo Tacos Рrather unappealing) РPoumuli accepted on her behalf. Dawn Raid, who was looking distinctly worse for wear (and it got worse) and was caught leaning. Captain Mortein was caught trying to dob Pirate Princess for Cellphonus Interruptus. A Numeracy Award went to SOTB for getting the blog wrong on what hash number we were at, and Poumuli added in Slippery for being unable to select t-shirt sizes.
BB tried to nominate Dawn Raid and Poumuli for a Blasphemy Award, but revenge was sweet as the Hash voted BB for a Religious Persecution Award. Captain Mortein received the brunt of his Lady’s wrath for Child Endagerment – giving beer to the little one, calling wife, etc. Kiwi showed up and not only got the Latercomer Award, but also the Fashion Award. BB nominated Poumuli for the Sweet Brother Award for looking high and low for the damned t-shirt Dawn Raid was wearing. Snake attempted to speak but had lost his voice so received a Lame Award himself.
Larry noted that the trail had been well marked but shortcutters were in evidence – Lesbian Vampire Killer, Dawn Raid, AC/DC, Poumuli and Slippery. Kiwi made a late nomination for the Worst Driver and Navigator Awards to Dawn Raid and AC/DC.
The GM called for a Catch-Up Award to all those who had interrupted the circle with cellphones – AC/DC, Lesbian Vampire Killer, Skinny Dipper and Chilindrina. BB lamented how Vailima had not picked up last Hash’s keg for a week and as a result they were robbed – Crash was the closest living relative to Vailima so he accepted the award. Dizzy then nominated Tony Blair for the Pocket Billiards Award for playing with himself in the circle, although he should have joined the award for perving Tony Blair.
The Hosts and Hare were roundly thanked and the birthday song rendered in English and Samoan, before we descended on the sumptuous feast.
Next week’s Hash will be at Mr. and Mrs. Whippy’s house.
On On,
Poumuli.
Strangler stepped in as GM and noted that the year 1492 was the year Columbus “discovered” America, so a Discovery Award was given to Selena, Walking Eagle, Eveready, Fang and Chilindrina for being Americanos. Tony Blair tried a historical accuracy revision to the award by calling on the Vikings in the Hash to be awarded since everyone knows that the Vikings, particularly the Norwegian Vikings were the first Europeans to set foot, pillage and murder on American soil. But Strangler declined on that one, as the year could not be ascertained, and Poumuli knows not to volunteer information that leads to him getting down downs.
There were three newcomers to Hash, Matt from Auckland (guest of Dizzy), Ross and Mana from Melbourne (guests of Larry and Mandy). Rethreads were Walking Eagle and Dizzy – neither of whom had a good excuse. New Boots were spotted, as Dizzy only explained to Matt the rules upon arrival at the Hash. But he took the award in good stride, until Dawn Raid interfered and got the Non-Enlightenment Award. Celebrity Awards went to Larry, Dawn Raid, Poumuli and Tony Blair.
Crash Bandicoot arrived, late and with the Hash Mugs, and his claim of working (barely) was not accepted so he got the Late Mugs Award.
Several Hash Meres joined in describing some rather inappropriate behavior, so Slippery received the Too Much Information (Disclosure Act 2009) for describing his passions over the years. The fact that he was taking a photo of a lactating Pirate Princess while facing the accusation only enlarged the mug to a big one.
Most unfairly Poumuli was given the Smuggling Award for bringing in contraband tasers etc., even if it was used at the start of the run to deter some mangy charging dogs. Tony Blair tried to use the illegal arms to taser Poumuli during the award but has clumsy hands – explains Larry’s water situation.
Last Friday had been declared a Government half day off for sports, but many Government employees in the Hash declined to take part. So for Unsportsmanlike Conduct Award we got Rose, Lesbian Vampire Killer and Skinny Dipper. Dawn Raid slipped on LVK’s hash name and joined in. AC/DC and Dizzy were both caught leaning, and AC/CD doubled his award for wearing Bedouin headgear.
Sassygirl nominated Tammi for the Sexual Harassment Award for being untowards direct to a waiter, while Larry took a Humiliation Award and voluntarily handed over 4 chocolate ̩clairs to Sassygirl. Slippery had been shopping and had a Sassy Chick tanktop for Sassygirl and a Wahoo shirt (something about Wahoo Tacos Рrather unappealing) РPoumuli accepted on her behalf. Dawn Raid, who was looking distinctly worse for wear (and it got worse) and was caught leaning. Captain Mortein was caught trying to dob Pirate Princess for Cellphonus Interruptus. A Numeracy Award went to SOTB for getting the blog wrong on what hash number we were at, and Poumuli added in Slippery for being unable to select t-shirt sizes.
BB tried to nominate Dawn Raid and Poumuli for a Blasphemy Award, but revenge was sweet as the Hash voted BB for a Religious Persecution Award. Captain Mortein received the brunt of his Lady’s wrath for Child Endagerment – giving beer to the little one, calling wife, etc. Kiwi showed up and not only got the Latercomer Award, but also the Fashion Award. BB nominated Poumuli for the Sweet Brother Award for looking high and low for the damned t-shirt Dawn Raid was wearing. Snake attempted to speak but had lost his voice so received a Lame Award himself.
Larry noted that the trail had been well marked but shortcutters were in evidence – Lesbian Vampire Killer, Dawn Raid, AC/DC, Poumuli and Slippery. Kiwi made a late nomination for the Worst Driver and Navigator Awards to Dawn Raid and AC/DC.
The GM called for a Catch-Up Award to all those who had interrupted the circle with cellphones – AC/DC, Lesbian Vampire Killer, Skinny Dipper and Chilindrina. BB lamented how Vailima had not picked up last Hash’s keg for a week and as a result they were robbed – Crash was the closest living relative to Vailima so he accepted the award. Dizzy then nominated Tony Blair for the Pocket Billiards Award for playing with himself in the circle, although he should have joined the award for perving Tony Blair.
The Hosts and Hare were roundly thanked and the birthday song rendered in English and Samoan, before we descended on the sumptuous feast.
Next week’s Hash will be at Mr. and Mrs. Whippy’s house.
On On,
Poumuli.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Hash Trash- Run 1491
Hash trash 1491
The Scribe is back from a long deportation abroad. He was too jet-lagged to go on the run, but from all accounts it was an enjoyable one.
So on to the circle. Strangler was GM, and found no newbies in the circle. Many rethreads – Poumuli, Kiwi, Ray Charles, Brian. New boots were checked by Mad Hatter but none were found – the customary down down for the boot checker was somewhat not rewarded. Meanwhile a local dog had found a discarded beer mug and did her own down down.
The GM awarded Chilindria with the Crash Award, something to do with a car and “an idiot”. After completing her award she spilled Godfather’s beer, but again unrewarded. Birthday awards were given to Lesbian Vampire Killer who was joined by Delicious in a very close race.
The GM, spotting two closely dressed hash meres awarded the Twins Award to Delicious and Soleless, who while claiming to promoting safe sex were only doing so for New Zealand. Watch out sheep.
Opening the deliberations to the floor, SOTB quickly nominated Dawn Raid for hitting on another Hashers girlfriend. To his defence he mumbled that he to this day has not been able to ascertain what her name is.
Sassygirl nominated Larry for not only writing to the Editor, but for also getting a furious response from the SWA CEO. Larry demanded, and got, Bits and Pieces and Tony Blair to join him. Sassygirl continued with a Bribery Award for Larry and Mandy over some paper issue, not quite clear.
The GM announced that since a certain Hasher was leaving Samoa he should get a Safe Sex Award with Delicious and Soleless – step down Brian. The GM also noted that a hash meres absence from previous hashe, and something about thunderous activities. Anyway, Screamer had no comment.
Swinger nominated BB for the Geographically Challenged Award over the direction of the trail. Poumuli nominated Larry and SOTB for the Empty Threat Award over their comments on the blog.
Living up to ones hash name is a prestigious award, but as the GM noted Soleless had actually been legless at the last hash to the point of needing to be hosed down. Larry who has moved in next to SPREP nominated Poumuli for the Cruelty To Animals Award for chucking stones at some charging dogs. Won’t happen again. Next time – Taser!
Lewinsky received a Pollution Award for “watering” the hosts plants, and thus poisoning the host. The circle was not done with Larry as Eveready got him the Machete in Own Leg Award. Sassygirl and Tammy had attended a yoga class, after which Zsa Zsa had made a completely ballsed up comment about a yoga position that cannot be repeated. SOTB followed with a question about who dresses Tony Blair and a Leaning Award for Brian. Child Abuse Awards was given to Karaoke for burning Delicious forehead. Eveready and Karaoke deflected a Special Hostfulness Award by getting the circle to toast the memory of Shafter.
Finally, the host and the hare were profusely thanked before we descended on the great spread of food.
Next week’s Hash will be at Larry and Mandy’s house up in Vailima next to the SPREP compound.
On On
Poumuli
The Scribe is back from a long deportation abroad. He was too jet-lagged to go on the run, but from all accounts it was an enjoyable one.
So on to the circle. Strangler was GM, and found no newbies in the circle. Many rethreads – Poumuli, Kiwi, Ray Charles, Brian. New boots were checked by Mad Hatter but none were found – the customary down down for the boot checker was somewhat not rewarded. Meanwhile a local dog had found a discarded beer mug and did her own down down.
The GM awarded Chilindria with the Crash Award, something to do with a car and “an idiot”. After completing her award she spilled Godfather’s beer, but again unrewarded. Birthday awards were given to Lesbian Vampire Killer who was joined by Delicious in a very close race.
The GM, spotting two closely dressed hash meres awarded the Twins Award to Delicious and Soleless, who while claiming to promoting safe sex were only doing so for New Zealand. Watch out sheep.
Opening the deliberations to the floor, SOTB quickly nominated Dawn Raid for hitting on another Hashers girlfriend. To his defence he mumbled that he to this day has not been able to ascertain what her name is.
Sassygirl nominated Larry for not only writing to the Editor, but for also getting a furious response from the SWA CEO. Larry demanded, and got, Bits and Pieces and Tony Blair to join him. Sassygirl continued with a Bribery Award for Larry and Mandy over some paper issue, not quite clear.
The GM announced that since a certain Hasher was leaving Samoa he should get a Safe Sex Award with Delicious and Soleless – step down Brian. The GM also noted that a hash meres absence from previous hashe, and something about thunderous activities. Anyway, Screamer had no comment.
Swinger nominated BB for the Geographically Challenged Award over the direction of the trail. Poumuli nominated Larry and SOTB for the Empty Threat Award over their comments on the blog.
Living up to ones hash name is a prestigious award, but as the GM noted Soleless had actually been legless at the last hash to the point of needing to be hosed down. Larry who has moved in next to SPREP nominated Poumuli for the Cruelty To Animals Award for chucking stones at some charging dogs. Won’t happen again. Next time – Taser!
Lewinsky received a Pollution Award for “watering” the hosts plants, and thus poisoning the host. The circle was not done with Larry as Eveready got him the Machete in Own Leg Award. Sassygirl and Tammy had attended a yoga class, after which Zsa Zsa had made a completely ballsed up comment about a yoga position that cannot be repeated. SOTB followed with a question about who dresses Tony Blair and a Leaning Award for Brian. Child Abuse Awards was given to Karaoke for burning Delicious forehead. Eveready and Karaoke deflected a Special Hostfulness Award by getting the circle to toast the memory of Shafter.
Finally, the host and the hare were profusely thanked before we descended on the great spread of food.
Next week’s Hash will be at Larry and Mandy’s house up in Vailima next to the SPREP compound.
On On
Poumuli
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Hash Run 1492 - 16 Nov - Larry and Mandy @ Vailima
HI Gang,
Hash next week will be hosted by Larry and Mandy at their home in Vailima. It is also Larry and Mr Whippy's Birthday. Fingers Crossed, the water is running come Monday.
Head up the cross island road and take the road SPREP is on. Its the house before the SPREP compound on the right. Follow the map if you get lost.
On On
Friday, November 06, 2009
Hash Run - 9th Nov - BB & Swinger at Siusega
Next Weeks run will be hosted by Swinger and BB. They have kindly offered to host seeing as we are a little low on people hosting runs. The run starts from Swinger and BB's home in Siusega (yay, more hills) and starts normal time at 1730.
On On
Monday, November 02, 2009
Hash Run 02 Nov 2009
Todays run will be in Siusega at Seema the Screamer's house...This will be a BYO Sausage Sizzle, so bring along some bangers or bread or onions and we can have a quick feed. The Keg will be provided by Hash and there is a pool there too..for those who fancy a dip. Snake, if you could bring your trusty BBQ please.
Run starts normal time @ 1730 hrs.
On On
Friday, October 23, 2009
Hash Halloween Run - 26 Oct 09
Hi to you all. Next weeks run will be hosted by Hot Nut/s, Brenda and Tammy up at Vaoala on Bank Steet. Head up the Cross island road and turn onto Bank St (Where Bits & Pieces and Goer Live) and head down that road, The house is on the right hand side after the bends in the road. Look out for the Outrigger Canoes in the front Lawn.
If you get Lost, call Tammy on 7205455
There will be a Halloween Theme, so wear your best Halloween Costumes..Those not dressed up will be punished by the GM on the night.
On On
Monday, October 19, 2009
Hash Run - 19 Oct 2009
Morning, due to the lack of hosts, Hash will be in town behind the Tourism Fale. It will be a BYO Food run andwill start at 5:30.
I think there will be a live hare unless someone can volunteer to set a run. Map is below for any newbies :)
ON ON
I think there will be a live hare unless someone can volunteer to set a run. Map is below for any newbies :)
ON ON
Friday, October 09, 2009
Hash Run 12 Oct 09- Tony Blair & Selena- Updated
Morning to you all.
Next weeks White Sunday run on the 12th will be hosted by Tony Blair and Selana at their home in Tuaefu. This will be a BYO Food run. Snake, are you able to bring the BBQ please. The pool will be filled and ready and the run will start at 2pm seeing that it is a public Holiday!
See the map below for directions
On ON
Next weeks White Sunday run on the 12th will be hosted by Tony Blair and Selana at their home in Tuaefu. This will be a BYO Food run. Snake, are you able to bring the BBQ please. The pool will be filled and ready and the run will start at 2pm seeing that it is a public Holiday!
See the map below for directions
On ON
Hash Trash
Hash Run Date: 28.9.09
Waiting for latecomers delayed the departure of the truck to the secret destination. Lewinsky driving like a bat out of hell, no pink and late! Made a loud entrance in front of the truck, followed by Kiwi who had no idea how to lock his truck, after much encouragement from the crowd gave his keys to a Hash merry to drive to a safer location.
The truck took off, FBI lost his pink cap and that set the pace for the trip…. He couldn’t wait to jump out and find his precious. The truck stopped at 5km for the walkers and continued on to the 7.km mark for the down hill runners.
SOTB struggled with a very beautiful pink fallen Hallow.
In the circle Eveready spoke about Karaoke and Desirables birthdays and expressed his thanks to the Hash Family for the love, kindness and support at the time of the accident. To Desirable “On, On”
Visitor Prue AKA “Roxy the Geologist”, was overwhelmed by FBI’s need to assist the new maiden, some think he was just trying to replace his pink hat!
Retreads
Nola donated the pig! A down, down delivered for her generosity.
Kiwi & Lewinsky down, down for wrecking the speedy departure.
Mad Hatter, down, down for not knowing if she’s a runner or a walker, and refused to get out of the truck with the runners.
Greg & Swinger went for a walk on the weekend and got lost again. ACDC said that’s the 2nd time, it happened four years ago on the same walk.
Sara, down, down for the superwoman award, she keeps coming in first.
Greg, down, down for taking off like a spring chicken vs. FBI down, down for the jealous award.
Blow Me, down, down for the “totally gay” award he needs to start drinking like a man and loose his wifes’ shirt.
The Monk arrived, only after trying to mount a dog!!! And called for
Greg who has been wearing far too many fancy pants and getting the girls excited so will now be known as “HOT NUTS” ACDC wanted to know which one is the hot one.
Seema who loves to express herself in all areas of pain, ecstasy or anger, will be known as “SCREAMER”
Rebecca is known for wanting to get her clothes off and swim around freely, will be known as the “SKINNY DIPPER”
Peta married to a certain captain with be known as the “PIRATE PRINCESS”
Mattie, loves to bash people around, will be known as the “SLAPPER”, the Hash family hope she doesn’t live up to her name.
The crowd wanted clarification whether it is HOT NUT or NUTS?
Lewinsky nominated Eveready for the “dream car award” a work in progress. A battery was found so all could here the engine.
Special Guest Nathan finished the circle with a spectacular dance.
ON ON
Waiting for latecomers delayed the departure of the truck to the secret destination. Lewinsky driving like a bat out of hell, no pink and late! Made a loud entrance in front of the truck, followed by Kiwi who had no idea how to lock his truck, after much encouragement from the crowd gave his keys to a Hash merry to drive to a safer location.
The truck took off, FBI lost his pink cap and that set the pace for the trip…. He couldn’t wait to jump out and find his precious. The truck stopped at 5km for the walkers and continued on to the 7.km mark for the down hill runners.
SOTB struggled with a very beautiful pink fallen Hallow.
In the circle Eveready spoke about Karaoke and Desirables birthdays and expressed his thanks to the Hash Family for the love, kindness and support at the time of the accident. To Desirable “On, On”
Visitor Prue AKA “Roxy the Geologist”, was overwhelmed by FBI’s need to assist the new maiden, some think he was just trying to replace his pink hat!
Retreads
Nola donated the pig! A down, down delivered for her generosity.
Kiwi & Lewinsky down, down for wrecking the speedy departure.
Mad Hatter, down, down for not knowing if she’s a runner or a walker, and refused to get out of the truck with the runners.
Greg & Swinger went for a walk on the weekend and got lost again. ACDC said that’s the 2nd time, it happened four years ago on the same walk.
Sara, down, down for the superwoman award, she keeps coming in first.
Greg, down, down for taking off like a spring chicken vs. FBI down, down for the jealous award.
Blow Me, down, down for the “totally gay” award he needs to start drinking like a man and loose his wifes’ shirt.
The Monk arrived, only after trying to mount a dog!!! And called for
Greg who has been wearing far too many fancy pants and getting the girls excited so will now be known as “HOT NUTS” ACDC wanted to know which one is the hot one.
Seema who loves to express herself in all areas of pain, ecstasy or anger, will be known as “SCREAMER”
Rebecca is known for wanting to get her clothes off and swim around freely, will be known as the “SKINNY DIPPER”
Peta married to a certain captain with be known as the “PIRATE PRINCESS”
Mattie, loves to bash people around, will be known as the “SLAPPER”, the Hash family hope she doesn’t live up to her name.
The crowd wanted clarification whether it is HOT NUT or NUTS?
Lewinsky nominated Eveready for the “dream car award” a work in progress. A battery was found so all could here the engine.
Special Guest Nathan finished the circle with a spectacular dance.
ON ON
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
TODAY'S RUN IS ON! (Wed 7 Oct)
Just confirmed with Snake, Snake's 50th Birthday Hash Run is on! The food is ordered and the beer is COLD. See map below if you need directions.
On On!
Mr. Whippy.
On On!
Mr. Whippy.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Special Hash Run- Wednesday 7th Oct 2009- Snakes 50th
Good Morning to you all,
As per discussions last night at hash, we will be having a special hash run tomorrow, Wednesday 7th October 2009 to be hosted by Snake at the Snake Pit to celebrate Snakes 50th Birthday. Hash starts normal time at 5:30 PM...Looking forward to seeing you all there to celebrate this special day with Snake and the family.
On On
As per discussions last night at hash, we will be having a special hash run tomorrow, Wednesday 7th October 2009 to be hosted by Snake at the Snake Pit to celebrate Snakes 50th Birthday. Hash starts normal time at 5:30 PM...Looking forward to seeing you all there to celebrate this special day with Snake and the family.
On On
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Godmother's Eulogy
Editor: Below is the beautiful eulogy given by the Head of State at Godmother's (Anna Tui Annandale's) service Wednesday morning. Note that Tuatagoloa references Godfather.
I was hesitant to talk last night because I was aware of Tui’s discomfort with politics, politicians and status.
My reservation was allayed when Tuatagaloa asked me after the service to say something this morning.
I decided to speak because I felt that his request was also hers.
Nothing becomes Tui more than the manner of her leaving. As Carol said last night, in this tragedy she put the safety of her mother and Joe before her own – a gesture underlining selflessness and humility.
Her family admits that her funeral was carefully planned and today one senses that she’s still very much in command.
She has orchestrated the time and space: the order of the rituals, liturgies and testimonies. The programme was and is: the funeral within twenty four hours of death; a quiet family service at 8pm; a funeral service at Tanumapua at 5.30am; and her burial at Siusega.
All this is metaphor for moving on lest we dwell too long on death and tragedy – a salutary lesson not only for our family but also for a grieving nation.
As the wife of Tuatagaloa, she is entitled to the protocols, rituals and conventions befitting the funeral of the wife of a Falealili grandee.
This includes a funeral service at the official residence of Tuatagaloa in Poutasi. But, in opting for less fanfare, Tui was and is claiming space: space for privacy.
She wanted a funeral where the ambiance would be markedly different in tone and context; she simply wanted to move on with grace. Whereas she became the mainstay of the Poutasi hierarchy, in the end she preferred a quiet and private funeral.
Her outstanding gift to us was the example of how she eased her way with finesse and aplomb through the different corridors of Samoan society. She would reincarnate herself many times, sometimes all in the same day.
One moment she could be entrepreneur, the next a chair of a charitable organization, or Board member of an art or culture group, or a lead person in the village women’s committee, or a delegate to an annual Malua EFKS Fono tele.
All this achieved with quiet wit, thoughtfulness and grace. Through this she brought people from different persuasions and cultures together. This is high achievement.
She saw the Sinalei staff not as workers or employees to be bullied or put down but as human beings that you need to work in partnership with.
She did not pretend to a knowledge or expertise that she did not have. She was quite comfortable in learning from others or from books. She was successful in the village because she had the common touch; she understood people and was humble and modest.
How did she do it? Through an innate sense of humility. Whether she knew it or not, her humility gave her an uncanny insight into what the Bible refers to in Ecclesiastes as the “vanity of vanities”.
Tui was humble yet not meek. She sought and celebrated simplicity which was not simple because of the allusions to metaphor and nuance. She was most accommodating and alluring when she stood firm on what she believed to be principle.
Tui was a deeply spiritual person. For her, God was not distant and formidable; God was always present and an integral part of loving. He was present when she planted flowers, when they sprouted, budded, blossomed, bloomed and withered. He was present in her love of animals, especially in her love for her dogs.
He was truly present for her when the sun rose and set. He was present when she loved Joe, her family, friends and especially the disadvantaged. He was present when she and Joe prayed in the morning and in the evening. Knowing her, she would have prayed for the last time for the safety of Joe, her mother Anna and Tafa, her mother’s nurse. I believe God heard and heeded her prayer.
If I’m struggling to capture the essence of Tui, then I invite you to take a good look at her face, her glow, her gentle smile and her sense of inner peace. That is her legacy.
I loved Tui dearly for a very simple reason: she loved Joe, and because of this love, Joe and her family and all who came in contact with her became better people.
Soifua.
Click here to view and share memories of Godmother Tui.
I was hesitant to talk last night because I was aware of Tui’s discomfort with politics, politicians and status.
My reservation was allayed when Tuatagaloa asked me after the service to say something this morning.
I decided to speak because I felt that his request was also hers.
Nothing becomes Tui more than the manner of her leaving. As Carol said last night, in this tragedy she put the safety of her mother and Joe before her own – a gesture underlining selflessness and humility.
Her family admits that her funeral was carefully planned and today one senses that she’s still very much in command.
She has orchestrated the time and space: the order of the rituals, liturgies and testimonies. The programme was and is: the funeral within twenty four hours of death; a quiet family service at 8pm; a funeral service at Tanumapua at 5.30am; and her burial at Siusega.
All this is metaphor for moving on lest we dwell too long on death and tragedy – a salutary lesson not only for our family but also for a grieving nation.
As the wife of Tuatagaloa, she is entitled to the protocols, rituals and conventions befitting the funeral of the wife of a Falealili grandee.
This includes a funeral service at the official residence of Tuatagaloa in Poutasi. But, in opting for less fanfare, Tui was and is claiming space: space for privacy.
She wanted a funeral where the ambiance would be markedly different in tone and context; she simply wanted to move on with grace. Whereas she became the mainstay of the Poutasi hierarchy, in the end she preferred a quiet and private funeral.
Her outstanding gift to us was the example of how she eased her way with finesse and aplomb through the different corridors of Samoan society. She would reincarnate herself many times, sometimes all in the same day.
One moment she could be entrepreneur, the next a chair of a charitable organization, or Board member of an art or culture group, or a lead person in the village women’s committee, or a delegate to an annual Malua EFKS Fono tele.
All this achieved with quiet wit, thoughtfulness and grace. Through this she brought people from different persuasions and cultures together. This is high achievement.
She saw the Sinalei staff not as workers or employees to be bullied or put down but as human beings that you need to work in partnership with.
She did not pretend to a knowledge or expertise that she did not have. She was quite comfortable in learning from others or from books. She was successful in the village because she had the common touch; she understood people and was humble and modest.
How did she do it? Through an innate sense of humility. Whether she knew it or not, her humility gave her an uncanny insight into what the Bible refers to in Ecclesiastes as the “vanity of vanities”.
Tui was humble yet not meek. She sought and celebrated simplicity which was not simple because of the allusions to metaphor and nuance. She was most accommodating and alluring when she stood firm on what she believed to be principle.
Tui was a deeply spiritual person. For her, God was not distant and formidable; God was always present and an integral part of loving. He was present when she planted flowers, when they sprouted, budded, blossomed, bloomed and withered. He was present in her love of animals, especially in her love for her dogs.
He was truly present for her when the sun rose and set. He was present when she loved Joe, her family, friends and especially the disadvantaged. He was present when she and Joe prayed in the morning and in the evening. Knowing her, she would have prayed for the last time for the safety of Joe, her mother Anna and Tafa, her mother’s nurse. I believe God heard and heeded her prayer.
If I’m struggling to capture the essence of Tui, then I invite you to take a good look at her face, her glow, her gentle smile and her sense of inner peace. That is her legacy.
I loved Tui dearly for a very simple reason: she loved Joe, and because of this love, Joe and her family and all who came in contact with her became better people.
Soifua.
Click here to view and share memories of Godmother Tui.
Hash Run 1485 - Mon 5 Oct 2009
This week's Hash is a BYO Food run - so please bring your own food. We will run from the Samoa Tourism Fale downtown. Although hearts remain heavy, a healthy run, good company, and ice cold beer may bring a smile or two. See you there,On On.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Godmother Donations Due Sat at Noon
As we discussed Wednesday evening, in honor of Godmother, Anna Tui Annandale, we are putting together a donation to be given to Godfather. Mismanagement will be supplementing our donation to help. Please drop off your donation to the usual collection points:
Princess of Darkness at the Yacht Club
Sassygirl at the Samoa Tourism Fale
Lewinski at On the Rocks
Fang at the Snake Pit
Please get your donations in by Noon on Saturday. Just give what you can. Mismanagement is hoping for about $100 per member.
Click here to read and share memories of Godmother Tui.
Princess of Darkness at the Yacht Club
Sassygirl at the Samoa Tourism Fale
Lewinski at On the Rocks
Fang at the Snake Pit
Please get your donations in by Noon on Saturday. Just give what you can. Mismanagement is hoping for about $100 per member.
Click here to read and share memories of Godmother Tui.
Red Cross Food & Clothing Donations
The GM, Princess of Darkness (aka POD) and Lewinski are trucking supplies to the Red Cross to assist the tsunami victims.
Please, if you have any spare clothes, shoes, towels, flashlights, cans of food, etc., drop them off at the Yacht Club, On the Rocks, or at Lewinski's and POD's home in Taumesina.
Please, if you have any spare clothes, shoes, towels, flashlights, cans of food, etc., drop them off at the Yacht Club, On the Rocks, or at Lewinski's and POD's home in Taumesina.
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