Friday, November 29, 2019

Hash 2015 2nd Dec: Psychedelic 70s Disco

TTG turns 50!! 

Get your bling on and dust off those bell bottoms!! 

Run will start 6pm sharply from YNOT at Matautu. Bring your hash cash $20.00 and your bling! This will be a fun evening. 

Run is co-hosted  by SassygirlBJ, Slim Shady, Gayboy/MSG, Lewinsky, Crash, Spell Check, TTG & Godfather.

ON ON!!!

Thursday, October 31, 2019

4th November HALLOWEEN Hash Run 2011 - with Karaeoke & The King

Next week's 4th November will the Halloween Run  at Lotopa, hosted by the King of all things nice & scary, Karaeoke and Slim Shady.

Image result for halloween imagesIts spooky time of the year again, so get out your angel wings, fake blood and gimp masks for what is sure to be one hellavah Halloween Hash!
Directions: Go up Papaseea Road from Vaitele Street (toward Frankies Lotopa), a 300 meters or so up on your left is Delicious Cakes and a few other shops. Turn left up the dirt road after Delicious Cakes and The King and Karaoke's place will be the last house on the left. Parking is usually on the empty block to the right of their gate.
Run starts at 6pm sharp! Don't forget your mugs, your 20 tala hash cash, terrifying faces and diabolical fashions.

Apia Hash House Harriers #westillon

Thursday, August 15, 2019


Talofa all Hash meres and hares around the globe

We will be celebrating our 2000th run on the 5-7th October 2019 

There will be plenty of fun, lots of laughter and banter and some hash madness.

Register and come join us!!!

Visit our Facebook page  or drop us a line for more information.


Monday, August 12, 2019


Talofa Hash Meres and hashmen

Today's run will be out Poutasi way  and kindly hosted by Godfather, Titty G and Coinsave.

Trot kicks off at 2pm. Bring your usual change of clothes, beautiful swimming out there. Bring your $20 hash cash, mugs and utensils.

Feel free to contribute to the feed.

If this is your first time to GF & TTG, use the details below furnished by StrapOn.

 If you are using Google Map on your mobile, copy this code in the search and it will give you navigation to GF and TTG. X895+X5 Poutasi


Monday, January 29, 2018

Hash Run 1917

Malo Hashers!

Hash Run 1917 is being hosted by Cunning Linguist and Snip'n'Tuck at their house in Vaivase-Uta.

The theme is HAIR as CL has none and S'n'T has loads! 

House is on Vaivase Uta Road, just before you get to the large sports field on the right - "Tanoa le i'a" - the driveway is on the left; house is at the back behind another house. CL normally puts something on the rubbish stand! There will be lots of cars parked before and at a small neighboring shop. You'll see it!

Please leave your car at the main road!!

Run starts at 6pm sharp! 

Don't forget your hash cash and your hair spray!



Hash Trash 1916

The Hash was hosted by Pussysnatcher, Snatched, Toa and Catcher at their house in Apaula Heights. It was a nice cool day after the rain and the Hashers set off into the bush. The trail meandered through the jungle until we came out at the top of Apaula and then followed the road home. It was quite a challenging run, but not the usual killer we expect from Pussysnatcher.

StrapOn as GM called the circle to order. There were no newbies, and the retreads were Alex (no excuse), Prince (communing in NZ), Amit, and Barefoot & Anal. Peeping Clam was made Shoe Inspector and found Alex, Prince and just Paul.
Celebrity Awards went to Overstayer (for Crime’s new prison) and Jonathon (for Sassy being in the paper).

This Day in History Awards went to King (AD 41 – Roman Emperor Caligula, known for his eccentricity and sadistic despotism, is assassinated by his disgruntled Praetorian Guards. The Guard then proclaims Caligula's uncle Claudius as Emperor), Poumuli (1523 – Christian II is forced to abdicate as King of Denmark and Norway), Twin Peaks (1788 – The first elements of the First Fleet carrying 736 convicts from Great Britain to Australia arrive at Botany Bay), Nom Nom (1931 – Sir Isaac Isaacs is sworn in as the first Australian-born Governor-General of Australia), StrapOn (1960 – Little Joe 1B, a Mercury spacecraft, lifts off from Wallops Island, Virginia with Miss Sam, a female rhesus monkey on board), Lewinsky (1993 – Bill Clinton is inaugurated the 42nd President of the United States of America), and Karaoke (Feast Day of St Francis de Sales).

On the run, Pussysnatcher had given instructions not to trample any plantations, but Snip & Tuck ran straight over one. Jonathon was also awarded for his barbed wire skills. Also the assurance that there were no problems with dogs on the trail was false, thus Pussysnatcher joined.

In the news Trump had referred to shithole countries, while praising Norway, which led to Pussysnatcher, Dannii and Paul getting a down down with Poumuli. Samoa has also been banned from the temporary work visa in the US, which went to Overstayer and Titty Galore. Poumuli noted that Trump has been accused of an affair with a pornstar, which was reminiscent of Clinton, hence a down down for Lewinsky.

There had also been a March for Women’s Rights, which went to Peeping Clam and Snatched. Australian criticism of Chinese aid to the Pacific went to Titty Galore and Nom Nom. Opening up for nominations from the floor, Cunning Linguist nominated Poumuli for practicing and fixing hair in the car. Ge joined for a Jealousy Award for having  no hair, while Witch Doctor was a latecummer.
Nom Nom nominated Alex for overachievement for running Mt Vaea, and he was joined by Poumuli for no longer doing that. Paul was also nominated for the noises from his sword interrupting proceedings.

Witch Doctor nominated Wahoo for throwing away her contact lenses. And then the Monk arrived.
She started with the couple that had just got married Mr and Mrs Smith, so Paul with his amazing moves will henceforth be known as Quicky. Dannii whom many have called upon for house doctor calls, shall henceforth be known as Drug Dealer. Toa, our littlest host, is from a family of cat relations, and shall henceforth be known as SOAP – Son Of A Pussy.

Reverting to the circle Twin Peaks nominated Poumuli for giving directions but not explaining the theme, while Lewinsky nominated Tittty Galore for excessive advertising, joined by Godfather. Jonathon got nominated for saying he would bring more med students and then didn’t. Poumuli tried to nominate Pussysnatcher and Snatcher for their dangerous driveway and failed, while Alex’s cellphone went off.

Finally Peeping Clam got the Worst Sword Award while King got the Best Sword Award.

We then feasted
On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Friday, January 19, 2018

Hash Trash 1915

The Hash was hosted by Princess Fantapants, Dannii and Paul at their house in Siusega (past residence of Screamer the First and venue of many a Hash). The run was set by Nom Nom on this  rather hot day. Out we went past the Catholic Church and around the Faleata sports complex. Coming around on the Siusega side there was a detour down to Swinger’s compound where Nom Nom abides. He and Sassygirl BJhad arranged for all Hashers to do 10 push-ups, 10 star-jumps and have a shot of something that tasted like kerosene, but was in fact Niu Voka. Then it was on back to the house, where the circle was called by GM StrapOn.

New to Hash were Jonathan, a medico, brought by someone called Courtney. There was the ANZ neighbour whose name escaped. Lemiki and Ti from Fiji brought by someone called Nynette. Josh brought by Snip & Tuck. So Sassy and Lewinsky did a down down.
Retreads were Sassy (looking for a man), Fanta (leaning), Dannii and Paul (honeymooning), Karaoke (mowing the lawn in Auckland), Princess Snip and Einstein (hanging out), and Matthew (forgotten his hash name, hashed with us 20 years ago).

For staying away from Hash so long, Matthew had his served in a sauce pan. He thought his Hash name should be Hashtag, but the King suggested Toetag.

Shoe Inspector Nom Nom found Ti and Lemiki, but Nom Nom took it on their behalf.
Celebrity Awards went to Gabby (quoted in the paper) and Godfather (there was a fire in Siumu after he had consumed too much of the extra spicy goulash).

This Day in History Awards went to Poumuli (1814 – Treaty of Kiel: Frederick VI of Denmark cedes Norway to Sweden in return for Pomerania), Sassy and Thom (1900 – The United States Senate accepts the Anglo-German treaty of 1899 in which the United Kingdom renounces its claims to the Samoan islands), the ANZ Banker (1960 – The Reserve Bank of Australia, the country's central bank and banknote issuing authority, is established), Lewinsky (1998 – Lewinsky scandal: Matt Drudge breaks the story of the Bill Clinton–Monica Lewinsky affair on his Drudge Report website), Karaoke (Feast Day of St Francis), Godfather (Feast Day of St Titian) and StrapOn (International Fetish Day). The King requested more information on St Titian.

The GM had several awards. On the run King had driven past the pack, all sweating and panting, teasing them with sweeties. Before King took his award, Godfather reminded that there would be an Elvis impersonator at Travellers Point – if King goes, will that make them Elvi?

At the pitstop, Godfather had insisted on showing off, and did 30 push-ups instead. So why not do 50 now? Lewinsky had been persistently shouting come on you fat bastard, ostensibly to himself, but POD was in front of him several times, so a Spousal Abuse Award to Lewinsky.

The newcomer Jonathan had claimed to be a terrible runner, yet he was far and away the best of the pack (not saying much, but…). He was joined by Coinsave and Will who had stopped to watch a girls volleyball game, and they stood there for hours. They got the GF Proud Of You Award. Witch Doctor was a latecummer.

Overstayer and Thom had avoided the pitstop, so the GM made them do the push-ups and jumps, followed by the shots. POD had her birthday last week, and also renewed her vows to Lewinsky. The King explained that he wanted Lewinsky for a double as he had forced drinks on him, and also for the DJ falling asleep.

Opening up for nominations, Sassy had noticed some foul smells around the place, and gave the down down to Fanta and the ANZ Banker. Cunning Linguist wanted to give a Carelessness Award to King for losing his glasses, but this became a Heroes Award for CL.

Godfather was moved to see the two Fijians at Hash to remind everyone of the great opportunity in the Interhash being organised in Nadi in late May this year. He urged the Hash to consider attending with the estimated 6000 runners from around the world, and asked POD to gain share the information (which she has now done).

Karaoke was very interested in going, but she said she was broke, so she nominated the ANZ Banker, who at Poumuli’s urging was joined by Coinsave.

Sassy was really grateful to Fanta that his toilet wasn’t working, as her phone had fallen in. Coinsave gave an Undercover Celebrity Award to Poumuli for singing at the Oka Festival. (It was 3 Little Birds, not No Woman No Cry).

Nom Nom thanked Overstayer and Thom for the finely engraved mugs, and POD nominated Karaoke and King, for Karaoke’s dance with, and disappointment in performance of, her dad. King was added in for raising expectations.

The King obviously hadn’t had enough, and claimed to set the record straight that the lawn mowing in Auckland was in fact a Brazilian wax. Ungrateful Award to King.

The hosts and the hare – Fanta, Dannii, Paul and Nom Nom were saluted before we had a wonderful feast of curry.

Next week is hosted by Pussysnatcher and Snatched in Apaula Heights.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Friday, December 15, 2017

Hash Run 1912

Hope you all recovered from Christmas Hash. 

Hash next week, 18th Dec will be hosted by BB, Swinger and StrapOn at Papauta.

Theme: Heroines

Venue - StrapOn's house: Same road to Mailelani Soap Factory/Le Petite Cafe, it's the second house on the right. The house has a white deck in the front. 

Run starts: 6pm on the dot!



Hash Run 1912

Hope you all recovered from Christmas Hash. 

Hash next week, 18th Dec will be hosted by BB, Swinger and StrapOn at Papauta.

Theme: Heroines

Venue - StrapOn's house: Same road to Mailelani Soap Factory/Le Petite Cafe, it's the second house on the right. The house has a white deck in the front. 

Run starts: 6pm on the dot!



Hash Trash 1911

The Christmas Hash was hosted by Gayboy at Sunrise Restaurant in Matautu. It had been a really rainy Monday, but we were blessed by a lull in the deluge as the pack set out for what is really a pub crawl. The Hash kids safely ensconced in a red Hilux, the trail went down Beach Road to Amanaki, then back via CVs, OTR and sundry other places. Bemused locals and tourists were regaled by bawdy versions of classic Christmas carols, belted out with gusto and accompanied by Godfather’s ukulele. The pack meandered slightly on the return, but we were finally able to muster a very large and loud circle.

Slim Shady was our GM, and invited the newbies to enter the circle. These were Soopuka brought by Gabby, Tanya brought by someone called Tammy, Paulie, Peter and Taz brought by Skull, Coinsave’s brother, Talai brought by someone called Courtney, and Nicholai Taulelei brought by Poumuli and Wahoo. All got a down down, joined by Titty Galore and Lewinsky.
Retreads were Wahoo (mummying), Captain Bolitos (doing things with balls), Cunning Linguist, Swinger (world tour), Coinsave, Nom Nom, Cunning, Skull, GBH, Gayboy and Captain Mortein.
Shoe Inspector Gayboy found Kiwi and Coinsave’s brother.

Celebrity Awards went to Princess Fantapants, GBH, Gabby, Peeping Clam (all in photos in the paper) and Lewinsky for Sassygirl BJ (numerous stories from Vanuatu Games).

This Day in History Awards went to Captain Mortein (902 – Battle of the Holme: Anglo-Saxon forces are defeated by Danish Vikings under Æthelwold (a son of Æthelred of Wessex) who is killed in battle), Godfather (1996 – Gwen Jacob is acquitted of committing an indecent act, giving women the right to be topfree in Ontario, Canada – GF approved), Poumuli (1997 – The Kyoto Protocol opens for signature), Nom Nom and Skull (2005 – Cronulla riots: Thousands of White Australians demonstrate against ethnic violence resulting in a riot against anyone thought to be Lebanese in Cronulla, New South Wales; these are followed up by retaliatory ethnic attacks on Cronulla), Princess Fantapants (2017 – Marriage Amendment Bill to recognize same-sex marriage passes in Australia) and Pervert (Human Rights Day).

The GM had some awards, and started with POD for a Child Abuse Award for making Happy Feet run all the way from Amanaki. Then there was a Mean Aunty Award to Titty Galore who stopped a couple handholding on the run.

Next Princess Fantapants for the Not So Secret Award – apparently he had been revealing a bit too much of himself in the Santa suit. Karaoke got a Balldropper Award, and Smashlee for asking why run with the kids.

Opening up for nominations, Coinsave quickly got Crime for leaning. Poumuli tried to add in another for Crime, but failed.

Cunning Linguist, piqued that Swinger had been posting all these photos from his world tour, updating the minutiae of his progress, gave him the Rubbing It In Award. He was joined by Coinsave who had also been on part of the tour.

Skull’s son Peter nominated his sister for running in a strapless bra, and running faster than her mascara. Both of them took the down down, while Godfather’s interest was perked. Cunning nominated Snake for hiding in the bushes, joined by Pervert.

Princess Fantapants nonimaned Nom Nom for the Libra Award, as the running colours of his get up suggested immediate ovulation. Noms was joined by Coinsave for leaning.
The GM then recognized Junior and Richard Wetzell who had snuck in to the Hash. Karaoke gave the Master Chef Award to Crash Bandicoot. Lewinsky was supposed to get a pig, and got a cow instead. Both Crash and Lewinsky had a down down, with Soopuka for leaning.

Coinsave then asked for a Subterfuge Award for Cockblocker – he has been walking around with a black eye and giving different reasons each time asked. Transporter and Lowrider got the Missed Retreads Award. Swinger nominated Coinsave for giving influenza to an entire cruise ship.

Smashlee tried to nominate Captain Bolitas, but named Paul instead, but in the midst of this failure Godfather asked for Happy Bunny to join because of her smile when Captain is on shore. Prince was asked the rhetorical question, why the facial hair? Burt Reynolds Award.
Gayboy nominated Captain Mortein for the down down he hadn’t had yet, but this was false, so both took it. They were soon joined by chattering nabobs Gabby and Soopuka.

Godfather made an impassioned speech about not missing 30 odd years of Christmas Hashes. This was followed by the Pricks of the Year Award – Poumuli for missing the birth of his son, and Nom Nom, Godfather and Snake for the dead cat and pig run. Tit of the Year Award went to POD for her excessive running.

The Hare and Host were saluted. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit