Alcohol Troubleshooting

Gday All: Was browsing through Cyberspace and found something which personally I think all hashers should consider.... If last night was anything to go by, I'd say we should have this printed up as small business cards for each hash 'person' to carry....just in case - The FLASH

Upcoming Runs: 1344 & 1345

Run 1344 - 15th Jan 2007 - Will be hosted by Jason Ward, who has never been to a hash in the whole time he's been in Samoa. House No. 3 Taumesina Compound.... a stone's throw away from Lewinsky and PODs place. Here is another venue with water so bring change if you intend to swim.

Run 1345 - 22th Jan 2007 - Eveready & Karaeoke have booked this for another run....excellent food...to welcome Luana's beau from Aotearoa. Lets hope he can handle the heat and the madness. Venue will be confirmed in due course.

If you would like to host a run, pls contact Sassygirl at sassygirl@samoa.ws Flo at tauasili@samoa.ws for more information. And remember, you do not get named until you have hosted a run.

onon

Run 1343 - Tony Blair and Selena @ Ululoloa

Talofa all meres and hares

What a hash run and after-party yesterday's run was!!!! No doubt the panadol sales went up trememdously today as the crazy ones nursed their hangovers thanks to "Selena" and her jugs of Chivas Regal....ummm...

The pack set off close to 6pm with several falsies put in for good measure. As Godfather was overheard to say, it pays to procrastinate some times ..... this, while watching the lead pack slide down the mountain side on the other side of the river. The meres at the rear could only stand, stare at the steep climb and say "O my God....bugger this, were going to head back..."

Godfather headed off to pick up the trail, and after a long slog the lead group crossed the damn dam only to discover a cross. Sassygirl who is afraid of heights picked up the trail further down only to find another cross. After a long "on back", the trail took up a hillside or was it a damn mountain side....suitable for goats and other similarly 4 legged animals. This was definitely not made for elderly smoking and drinking hashmen and hash meres. The second group led by Gordon Flash in his Samoan running shoes (flip flops) stuggled valiantly up, cussing and carrying on. Poor Godfather came to Marion and Wildchild Kimmy's rescue and relieved them of their water bottles so they could use both hands to climb and crawl. Sometimes it doesn't pay to carry water either. Poor Flo finally made it to the top, huffing and puffing, took a much needed rest on a log. Whilst Flo was hyperventilating the log decided to depart from the rest of its self and sent Flo down the slope on her backside...thank goodness it wasn't so rocky and there were no stray sticks or stumps in the way, well, except for some hash barbed-wire, which Flash Gordon stood on and the damn barb went straight through his samoan safety boot.

Welcome to the New Hashers as well as the Retreads especially the Retread from 20 years ago from Western Australia and her hubby who are on island visiting family.

Several awards were given later on with poor Lewinsky getting more than his fair share... one for his epic 6 or was it 7 hour swim, training for the marathon swim in the upcoming South Pacific Games... unfortunately, there is no such event! Second, for not listening to perfectly sound advise and going out fishing anyway in bad weather, subsequently losing his boat and having to swim home... and finally for being an idiot and putting his mates lives in jeopardy by taking them fishing with only two life jackets and an esky for floatation...

Flo impressed everyone with her "down down" style....put all the hares to shame as well.

After all the awards Ludo, Carmen and the young Prinz's were named. Ludo who is thinking of pursuing a political career in Europe and for looking uncannily like the British PM was named "Tony Blair". Carmen the fiery dancing Bolivian - South American Beauty - was named "Selena" after the late singer. The two beauties from the Land of Dikes and Windmills were therefore named "Tulip" and "Snow-drop". Impressive how the newly named quartet did not rush off to find water and rinse off. This was later done in the pool which had attracted all the young guns including SassgirlBJ & Karaeoke of course, the youngest of the lot...LOL.

Others made their way of their own accord in to the pool whilst others were carried and thrown in. Poor Princess of Darkness (POD), Wildchild and Flo were all chucked in rather unceremoniously.

Needless to say the groovy and sexy latin music, warm pool, jugs of beer and chivas being served made everyone forget the time. The police also put in an appearance at around midnight for good measure. Finally it was all done and the last lot left after midnight in high spirits as well as full of it.

Happy Birthday to Kiwi who turned 21 again yesterday and looking like 60...LOL... as well as having made his 1000th Run. GM handed over his shirt for this fantastic achievement. Kiwi had also advised that the keg was on him...yippee!

This run has set a very high benchmark of hash runs so maybe we should just have a run from Tony and Selenas every month..LOL

Thanks very much guys for a fantastic evening.

ONON

Today's Run - 8th January 2007

Hi all

Map to Ludo's & Carmen's Home at Ululoloa.
If you get lost call Sassygirl on 779 4250.

onon

8th January 2007 Run

Talofa All
It has been a while since our last official run so we are looking forward to kicking off the year with a great turn-out.
Trust you have all had enough time to recover from the hectic Festive Season.
Tomorrow's Run will be hosted by Ludo and Carmen from their home at Siusega. Drive past the Tulaele Bridge, go past the entrance to Craig's Home, Craig's Compound and turn right and immediately right again. Ludo and Carmen's home is the home with the swimming pool on the corner.

Wil try to post the map shortly

Onon

Hash run on the 08th January 2007

Run on the 08th January 2007 will be hosted by Carmen and Ludo at the Craig's Compound - Ululoloa - Map TBA

OnOn

Christmas Day Run

Sorry for the delay in posting - Christmas Day Run will be set from Shafter and 4WD from Taufua Beach Fales on Monday. Run will be at 1400hrs. BYO food and drinks. Please also note that there will be a New Year's Day Run, if you have a brilliant idea of where we can run from, please comment or email.

Hope to see some hashers on Monday 25th December 2006, pass the message

Merry Christmas & Happy 2007

Cheers ALL

Christmas Hash Run 1341

Talofa All

Our Christmas Hash will commence from the Tiafau Fale, next door to Hotel Millenia at Sogi.
Lets all meet at 5pm so we can be underway shortly thereafter with Santa and his chariot.

BYO meats for the BBQ. Can some of the meres make some salads in lieu of the meats.

Dress up in your best Christmas outfit and cum ready to run and drink. If you have words for the more popular Christmas Carols pls flick them my way asap.

Onon

RUN 1340 - 11 DECEMBER 2006

Hi all

today's run will be from Headquarters at "On The Rocks". BYO BBQ meats and whatever. Everyone to buy their own beers at reduced prices-SAT10/jug of ale.

C u all then.

ONON

Can you Host Run 1340-11 December 2006

Hello all
We are looking for a venue for Run 1340 next Monday, 11 December 2006.
Let me know if you can.

Christmas Hash Run 1341 - 18 December 2006 will commence from Tiafau Fale, next door to Hotel Millenia at 5.30pm sharp. Cum dressed in your best Christmassy accoutrement.

How to get a Name from the AHHH

There seems to be a misconception that anyone can just get named in the AHHH.
Mismanagement is following rules that have been observed since Eve consumed the apple and did a naughty with Adam.....

You will be named, AFTER YOU HAVE HOSTED A RUN!!!

So if you are keen to get a nasty name, host a run, or team up with others to host a run and then you will get named

Thank you

SassygirlBJ for Mismanagement

Hash Trash Run 1139-Eveready's & Karaeoke

Hello all

below is the hash trash for 4th November run. We are still looking for another scribe. If you fancy yourself a bit of a writer then drop me a line.

HASH TRASH RUN 1339

Run 1339 was hosted by Karaeoke and Eveready from their home at Lotopa behind Adria’s Cakes-the best Cakes in Samoa, especially the Rum Chocolate Cake loaded with cream…yummy!!

The heavens threatened to open all afternoon but thank goodness, only a few drops made their way down to keep the dust down. The run was led by the bouncy one, ACDC who ran all the falsies, closely followed by POD who kept an eye on the wayward one and brought him back. The pack, led by Mr. Whippy, trotted off behind Faleata School and picked up the paper trail heading down into the river. This proved rather trying for one of the hashmen, who later on received the Environmental Award for slipping and dislocating his finger during the process, but thank goodness, good old Godfather, being well versed in these things, relocated his finger, ouch!!! back in place and valiantly ran the rest of the trail hugging an ice pack to his affected index. Some of the novice hashers, namely Deep-throat, Delicious and Luana couldn’t find the trail so decided to chariot ride to find the trail. Funnily enough they did a full circuit of the block and ended back at the taxi stand where they proceeded to the river and spent the rest of the run swimming. They were duly penalized for such unhash-like behaviour. The troops drifted in just before dusk and enjoyed the nuts…good to have “Hash Nuts” back on island, and some delicious “poke”, chips and spicy guacamole courtesy of Eveready’s Spicey Kitchen.

The GM finally arrived with some lame excuse that he had pneumonia. He promptly appointed Lewinsky as his “whipping boy” to take any of his down-downs.

There was one New Boot: Aaron from British American Tobacco. He is definitely hash material, has a wicked sense of humour or was that dirty sense of humour and loves to smoke and occasionally break out a sweat. He is one of Eveready & Karaoeke’s new tenants.

Retreads: Hagar, Heinrich Arp, Nola Gidlow, Danny Rankin, who can’t remember his hash name, its been that bloody long since he last came to hash, took their down-downs enthusiastically. Unfortunately Heinrich had another one for wearing his skull piece during the awards and was threatening for a moment to wear the rest of his beer, much to the delight of the mob

GM pointed out that two of our long time hashers were buggering off shortly, Schumacher leaving in a couple of hours and Snoopy aka Snoofy, cum Wednesday night. They were given a down down each for being such great sports and for deserting the pride.

Schumacher nominated So’o for the Fashion Abuse Award for dressing like an Arabian Belly Dancer. Someone was overhead calling So’o the Sarabian Dancer…Samoan Arabian Dancer???

SassygirlBJ nominated Reverend Flaming Sword (incidentally the new boot Aaron thought the name was Rev. Flowing Soap!!) for Sexual Harassment Award and felt sorry for the Flaming one and declined to go into too much details. This brought much laughter from the crowd as it appears this hash-man keeps getting penalized on similar incidences. Flaming Sword was duly given the “Prick of the Week Award” and was observed enjoying this part of the award far too much.

Snoopy dobbed FBI in for trying to run her and Schumacher over whilst on the run. Whilst the award was duly noted, some of the hashmen thought that FBI should get the award for being a lousy driver and missing the two. FBI then proceeded to have a case of “verbal runs” and carried on till he was finally shouted at by just about everyone to quit his bs and take the down down. He was made to drink the “Tit of the Week Award”.

Snoopy was then asked to hand out the shirts…some way overdue!!! And far too much to list here. What was good tho’ was that Godfather finally got several shirts well due to him. Similarly Kiwi.

GM then called on Snake to assist him with the naming rituals. He also apologized for the Hash Monk’s absence as he is busily fighting some stupid war in Iraq or was it Iran or maybe Fiji.

The following were inducted into the pride, pod, mob, family, whatever!!!
Donovan all the way from the States with that Barry White Deep voice was aptly named “Deep-Throat” Once saw a movie of the same name and she wasn’t singing.
Shay our super chef teaching at Polytech School of Hospitality was named “Pupu”. This is pronounced as “poo-poo” and has nothing to do with what comes out the other end. Pupus (island style) = canapés or any nibblies palagi style.
Alex who works for the hopeless Electric Power Corporation has an affinity with pigs. It has been observed on a number of runs that whilst everyone else gets chased by dogs, Alex is chased by pigs, hence he was aptly named as “Oink”
Nicole, the leggy teacher from down under has never been seen to run or make an attempt to run so she was duly named “Johnny Walker”. After several shots of this baby, you wouldn’t be running anywhere, in fact you would be walking welly welly schlowly!!
Natasha suffered similarly at the previous run at Schumacher’s place. After several vailima’s she was talking welly welly schlowly and ending up trying to describe herself as being “puder-licious” perhaps from pretty and delicious. She was duly named “Delicious” and boy can this mere put away the down downs. And yet another candidate for the Samoan Meres Boat Team. Now there is a dynamic Trio!!!

Christmas Hash which was suppose to be on the 11th has now been postponed after a request from the “meres” of the UN to postpone as so many of the die-hards will be at a Conference at Aggies Resort. Show of hand has confirmed the Xmas Run will now take place on the 18th December and will commence from Tiafau, Second Headquarters of Hash. GM also confirmed that this year will be a young and good looking Santa of about 35. Am not sure if that is his waist line or IQ. Snoopy threatened to stay on if that was his age. Please get into the spirit of things and dress up in your Christmassy gear…by all means look like a fairy if you are that way inclined or a mistle-toe but for goodness sake, ensure mouth wash is handy…LOL

First prize for best costume-if you’re female is a dinner with POD
If you’re a guy, dinner with POD and Lewinsky. Am unsure whether GM has any other prizes.

More nominations from the floor were called for, whilst the troops awaited the special dinner guest to be brought in….”oink oink no more!!” Sassygirl asked for the GM to take a down-down for giving the family such a lame excuse as having pneumonia. Lewinsky stepped up and took the down down as planned.
FBI dobbed Son of the Bitch and Lewinsky for trying to run the hare down whilst he was setting the run.
POD nominated Snoopy for commenting at a certain watering hole that everyone else was drunk and she appeared to be the only “soder” one. Well done Snoofy!!
Lambada and Pavarotti got down-downs, for not canoodling as always at the hash circle and for using the railing to prop himself up all evening.
FBI asked for ACDC, Flaming Sword and Lezzie to be penalized for causing the Xmas Run to be changed to suit them. Also noted that ACDC and Flaming Sword will be sharing a single room at the resort. These guys are really starting to become a worry especially when they were also overheard talking about picking up Vaseline at the pharmacist.

At this time the keg was starting to look rather sorry as it tilted like the Leaning Tower of Pisa… Kiwi the Hare took his down-down. Eveready, thanked everyone for coming and was also excited that Deep-throat and Delicious were now duly named. Karaeoke, Nola and Deep-throat then joined him for the Hosts Award.

Godfather called the group together to sing its final farewell to Snoopy and Schumacher-“Goodbye my feleni” Snoopy responded with a challenge to the hashers to come to NZ next year and terrorise Napier….now there is a thought!!!

This was followed by a lavish spread which was much enjoyed by all. Overheard several hashers say this is the reason they never miss Eveready and Karaeoke’s hashes…the delicious spread to follow. Thanks Eveready, Karaeoke and the Troops.

ONON

SassygirlBJ

Snoopy's Farewell

So all good things must eventually come to an end and my stay here in Samoa is nearly over. Family pressures call me home.

Our Samoan experience has been wonderful, for Margot especially, many of you don’t know her but she has really blossomed since being here.

There have been times when I have said ‘beam me up Scottie’, generally at taxis or packs of dogs or centipedes that want to walk through my living room, some times at Hash when the GM has made me have another ‘down down’ for some minor misdemeanor (incidentally, I hate beer), but mostly I have loved living here. I have loved the climate, the clear and balmy night skies, the warm waters, the snorkeling and swimming, the incredible scenery and sandy beaches, the thunder and lightening storms (scary/cool), and the not working and having time to myself, the opportunity to paint all day if I want.

But what has made living here so great are the people I have met, especially the Hash family I have become apart of, I would like to thank you all for your kindness and for giving me a sense of belonging even when I felt so alien.


Thank-you all for being such good company and companions on the trail. A special thanks to the Snake Pit crew, always supportive and kind, Snakes knowledge of the environment was so helpful in learning to understand my new surroundings. Thanks to the ‘Prettiful Ladies’ (you know who you are) for always being welcoming and ready for a laugh, you made me feel so accepted.

Thank you to all the lovely Hash men who gave me so many good laughs and took their ‘down downs’ like the good Samoans that they are. Thanks to Shumaker for being my Hash buddy, when I had no one to talk to, he was always there, with his beautiful wife and son.

Thanks Godfather for sharing your wonderful resort with us and making us feel at home. Thanks also to Shafter for being the great and magnificent GM that he is and for making me drink so much Vailima, I will never forget the taste. And of course Kiwi for all those well laid runs, thanks for showing we your town. Hash has taken me places I never thought or even dreamt about going, such as rubbish filled river beds in the dry season, steep muddy banks strewn with rotten and moldy logs, following water pipes in the dark and lots of back gardens. It was always an adventure.


I would like to challenge the Apia Hash to come to Napier next year for a run. Think about it and get back to me, I will keep my Samoan email address for awhile yet and will let you know my new one when I get it.
Fa’afetai Fa’afetai Fa’afetai Lava
Snoopy
Aka Snoofy
Aka Angela

Hash for Mon 04 Dec 2006

As per Sassy's previous post, Hash this Monday will be behind Adria's Cakes in Lotopa hosted by Eveready and Karaoke.

Map to Eveready and Karaoke <-- click here to view map

Looking forward to seeing you there,

The Mismanagement Team.

Hash for Mon 27 Nov 2006

As per Sassy's previous post, Schumacher will be hosting tonight's hash from his residence in Vaoala (see attached map).

The keg's ordered. See you there.

The Brewmaster, Mr. Whippy.

Upcoming Runs & Xmas Run

Talofa all

Run 1339: 4 December will be hosted by Eveready and Karaeoke at Lotopa, behind Adria's Cakes

Run 1340: 11 December will be our XMAS RUN. The venue will be advised in due course.

Feel free to email me if you feel up to hosting a run within the next century on sassygirl@samoa.ws

Your Mismanagement Committee

Talofa to all and the new hashers

For your information, the following hashers make up your Mismanagement Committee. Feel free to ask questions or voice your opinions to any of them....no long winded whinging thank you.!!!

Grand Master (GM): Shafter
Deputy GM: Lewinsky
Brewmaster: Mr. Whippy
Asst. Brewmaster and BBQ: Lezzie
Hash Mugs: Eveready
Hare Raiser (Hair raiser at other times): SassygirlBJ
Hash Cash: Princess of Darkness (POD)
Hash Trash: SassygirlBlowJob and sometimes FBI cums once a year
Hash Nuts: Godfather
Hash Music:SOTB & Flash Gordon

SassygirlBJ is the current official bearer of bad news and ass kicker!! as well as arranging for upcoming runs.

Saturday 25th November-BIRTHDAY PARTY

Talofa all

Shafter and Flo enthusiastically invite all the hashers to a party to celebrate Sole-less's 21st Birthday at Tiafau House, next door to Millenia.

Date: Saurday 25th November, commencing 6pm
Dress: Cheeky

A keg, piggy and umu is on the menu. Feel free to bring a salad if you are that way inclined.

You will not be penalised if you wish to bring a bottle of your favorite drink to share with the birthday child.

Gordon Flesh and Son of the Bitch to arrange for the music and Lezzy darling to bring the noise making box.

So pass this onto the others and for goodness sake try not to turn up when everyone is half-cut at 12pm. Early would be nice!!!

So see you all there then.

ONON

SassygirlBJ

Run 1338 - 27 November - SCHUMACHER

Talofa lava dashing hares (not!) and those sexy meres

Well done to those die-hards who braved the pneumonia inducing conditions to join Alex and Nicole at Vaivase-uta for Run 1337. The regulars were joined by a very enthusiastic bunch of American new boots who were thoroughly interviewed as to what they are doing on island.

The group set out on a nice trot in a light drizzle through the bushes and were also continuously hassled by stray dogs. Part of the group was overhead discussing the beauty of carrying some weapons (the type with silencers attached) to put them out of their misery.

On the return of the small-ish group, found Kiwi and Snoofy well into the cooking whilst Schumacher had disappeared for hours to buy some sizeable cups for the nectar.....goodness knows where the heck he disappeared to for it took a long time.

Judging by the degree of merriment demonstrated by the group come 8pm, leaves no doubt that they all had their fair share of vailima. To help speed up the keg, the GM called for a boat race between the Americans and the Aussies, with a new addition that each person had to eat one sausage or a sushi prior to drinking. The Americans obediently did as instructed while Nicole of the Aussie team cheated by upending most her beer over her head. This was followed by Samoa vs The Rest of the World. Needless to say the team of Flo, Son of the Bitch and Kiwi toyed with the ROTW team and won by miles as was to be expected. Several awards were dished out. First one to Sassygirl, for providing additional glasses for the hash mugs. She received several more later on for spanking herself in the hash circle as well as some other misdemeanours the previous Friday night at the impromptuous Hash party at Headquarters. Similarly ACDC received several, one for false accusations that Schumacher was not at headquarters, plus a host of other stupid stuff-ups. The new boots impressed the die-hards with their "downing" abilities. No doubt they will be at next hash. There were so many more awareds that i cant recall any more as i had more than my fair share of down-downs. The team did well because the keg was lopsided come 8.45pm. Others threatened to head off to headquarters whilst the rest disappeared goodness knows where.

Is there someone else out there who wants to be "Hash Trash"

Next week's run will be hosted by the very Single Schumacher from his home at Vaoala. A map will be posted shortly if i am up to it..LOL

Pls check out the following blog for the Saturday party.

Thanks again Alex and Nicole...no doubt there will be some hash naming forth-cumming soon.

ONON

sassygirlBJ

Next Week's Run 13 November

Talofa Hares and Gorgeous Meres

Last night saw a major increase in numbers at the hash, thanks to the Brewmaster's family and friends who were here for Mr. Whippy and Louisa's wedding. Congratulations again to the Barkers and we look forward to a lot of little Barkers running around soon...terrorising the hash clan..

Last night we farewelled Crabs and Bloody Mary after two years....that was the fastest second cumming we have seen. We wish them both where-ever they may be in the future and look forward to a third cumming. You two will be sadly missed, being fantastic people and even more ardent hashers.

Lambada and Pavarotti, who were showing far too much affection in public last night have offered to host next week's run from their home at Vailele....ummm close to SassygirlBJ's home, which means she can go straight home without visiting headquarters.....not!

A map will be forthcoming shortly if i get around to it.

LOST AND FOUND:
1. Some male shoes from last night's run...and no i went home alone
2. Flash Gordon's shades....nice ones too
3. Ladies blue sandals from the White Monday's run are still in my car....very soon they will belong to the owner of the car if no-one claims them..

Dont forget the 20K, 10K and Kids 3K Fun Run this Saturday. I have registration forms if you are interested. There will be NO RACE DAY REGISTRATIONS.

onon
SassygirlBJ