The Hash was hosted by Ali bin Shaggin, Jacob and Alyssa at
YNot. The run was set by Crime, and the trail led us out to Aggies, past APC
and turned the corner at the Old Court House. Sexpot meanwhile had run quite
far down towards On the Rocks, perhaps for a Beer Stop, having been told of
this quaint practice by your Scribe. The trail went all the way up to the turn
for NUS, then up the hill past the cemetery, down to the UN building and on
home by way of Vaiala Beach. All in all a long hard road slog, but the weather
was clement so not too bad. The sweet nuts of Godfather never tasted better.
Our new GM, Julia Gillard, took the helm for the first time.
He first of all acknowledged the visiting families, as we were going to have a
Hash Wedding later. There were no one new to Hash, but the rethreads were
Poumuli (on holiday), Dumas (working), Granny Smith (lazy) and Naval Base (busy
cooking). After the down-down, Transporter dropped Poumuli’s glass, and his
award was doubled for negligence for not bringing the Hash Mugs.
The GM changed the pace a bit and launched straight into his
awards, claiming that due to Lewinsky attempting to join the Mile High Club the
plane had to be diverted back to Australia. This was especially conveyed from
SOTB. He also called up One Infection for his new YouTube video. One Infection
started to explain, but quickly shut up, and accepted the Carlos Danger Award.
Sexpot and Desperate Housewife were called on for attending
various venues of consumption and for having their kids’ last Hash at a pub.
Clearly a Hashmanlike Behaviour Award. He then spotted Elle McJr, One Infection
and IRA leaning. This was quickly followed by a Shenanigans Award for
Transporter and One Infection for some dodgy sub-contracting work for Vailima
at the last Hash.
Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli (in paper in climate change
photo), Titty Galore (at opera) and Snake (closest living relative to Slippery’s
wife in paper with the Aussies). This Day in History Awards went to Tallyho (1814
– London Beer Flood occurs in London, killing nine. At the Meux and Company
Brewery on Tottenham Court Road, a huge vat containing over 135,000 imperial
gallons (610,000 L) of beer ruptured, causing other vats in the same building
to succumb in a domino effect. As a result, more than 323,000 imperial gallons
(1,470,000 L) of beer burst out and gushed into the streets. The wave of beer
destroyed two homes and crumbled the wall of the Tavistock Arms Pub, trapping
teenage employee Eleanor Cooper under the rubble), Swinger (International Day
for the Eradication of Poverty), Lewinsky (International Stuttering Awareness
Day) and Sexpot (closest living relative to Zsa Zsa for National Day of
Hungary).
Opening up for nominations, Lewinsky nominated Rufie for
finally catching a fish, as Tallyho pointed out, mainly because Lewinsky wasn’t
with him. Rufie went back in the circle when Desperate Housewife pointed to the
cooler he was wearing on his leg. Elle McJr nominated Iron Lady for a story
involving Horny Ho. Before we got to the grim details Iron Lady stepped in to
silence what appeared to be a dramatically funny story.
Snake nominated Einstein for not joining the rethreads, and
he was joined by latecummer Goldfinger. Tallyho nominated the GM for the First
Time in History Award, for his extraordinary feat as the first GM of Apia Hash
to complete the trail at a run, joined by Transporter for keeping him company. Snake
corrected this next by pointing out that when POD was GM she always completed
the runs, and usually at the front.
Godfather noted that this was a special evening and that he
had removed his dirty shoes in respect, yet the Shoe Inspector had failed to
spot them. The GM had also neglected to even include this item, thus Snake and
the GM took the new shoes award from Godfather’s by now smelly shoes.
Lewinsky nominated Rufie for making the Samoan PM wait,
while Elle McJr nominated Lewinsky and POD as the best dressed ever at Hash.
Sexpot had been in the long queue at Opera Night, but noticed that Godfather
abandoned Titty Galore!
We then saluted the hosts and the hare, before Godfather
commenced the ceremony. This is a first in Hash History – a Hash Wedding. Your
Scribe was not able to record the proceedings, but it certainly was one for the
memories of those of us present.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
