Thursday, July 30, 2009

Congratulations Oink & JW

Congrats to Oink and JW who are now engaged..All the best and we're looking forward to a tropical island wedding, or at least another visit to Samoa some time soon.

On On

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Hash 1477- Vaivase- Uta@ Will and Emma's Place.

Hey team,

Hash next week (3rd August 2009) will be hosted by Will and Emma at the EPC Compound at Vaivase Uta. Food will be provided by the hosts (thanks guys)
Directions: Past NUS, past Samoa College, turn right after the bend then second right at the Rees Hirage sign. It is then the second gate on the right and the second house you come to in the compound. If you get lost, call SOTB on 7500767 <---This is not advertising!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Hash Run 1476 - Mon 27 Jul 2009

Hash Run #1476 will be hosted by Morten and family up at his flat in Vaoala (see map). His flat is in Einstein's compound - next to Tramp's and Crown of Thorns old flats. We are not sure which house, so use your Hash skills and look for paper and/or lots of cars.

See you there,

On On!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Celebrating Snake's 1000th

We've posted over 90 photos from Snake's 1,000th run to the Hash Photo Albums. Check-out the Hash Trash to read about this great run. Many thanks to Slippery and Delicious for the photos.

On On!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1475

Your official scribe is away so you are stuck with the incomplete scrambled false memories of Mr. Whippy.

Slippery, Susanne & Kiwi hosted Monday’s run at Slippery’s residence in Vaivase. There was limited parking space, but with creative parking we made do. Several were dressed in Christmas attire as per the theme and some completely forgot i.e. Mr. Whippy. The run started about 15 minutes late. The run started well but soon came to a screeching halt with everyone trying to find the trail that leads out of the Vaivase ravine. After 20 minutes or so, the troops gave up and made their own trail, eventually circling back on home. Some, like Lewinski and FBI did an extended run to help prepare for the upcoming perimeter relay.

The troops arrived back at Slippery’s. The keg was ready but soda missing. Lewinski recruited Mr. Whippy and they did an emergency run to take care of our soda drinkers. Snake cornered many, getting people to sign-up for Hash Cash. BB and Ring Ring accepted the Hare Raiser position, and quickly went about gathering all the scheduling materials and info from Snake and crew.

Tonight’s guest GM was Crash Bandicoot. Crash called the Hash circle and the awards began. There were a few new boots who are only here for this week. They sailed to Samoa and are staying at the Marina. They were in great spirits. We had about (6) retreads as well – was busy pouring the beer so can’t remember who they were! There were no new boots.

Crash commenced the GM’s awards. FBI was tagged for something, but Snake had to drink for him (the logic? Snake was the closest relative). Ray Charles was tagged for admitting that he didn’t drive his brand spanking new red truck last week because it was raining. Lewinski got tagged with a double down-down for arranging for Happy Feet’s care so that he can smooch Princess of Darkness, then later having the smooch marks to show for it. Kiwi, Suzanne, Slippery, and Son of the Bitch got tagged for confusing the troops with the trail they set. Tony Blair got zapped for his especially creative parking job using the local sidewalks.

Then the Monk showed-up. Cursing and shouts announced her entrance as she tackled a tree. The Monk quickly called Michael front and center. Recalling Michael’s spirited visiting and enjoyment of Samoa’s tourist hang-outs, the Monk named him Strangler. The Strangler was especially naughty during his naming, feeling-up the Monk! After the Monk peeled-off the Strangler, the Monk pointed to Heather and called her forward. The Monk spoke about Heather’s affinity for making and wearing all sorts of hats and thus named her the Mad Hatter. Then the Monk spotted Susanne. The Monk recited Susanne’s history of bloodletting and the Monk being inspired by the latest hit at Magic Cinema, Lesbian Vampire Killers (this can’t really be a movie can it?), named Susanne the Vampire Killer.

After the naming, the Monk did a pole dance, followed by a farewell down-down.

Then the floor for nominations opened. Crash got tagged for a huge photo in the paper for which he quickly retorted, “it’s about time we got somebody else in there.” And there were a few more nominations of the usual variety. The former GM, Eveready announced that he and Karaoke will sponsor one of the Hash perimeter relay teams – Team Desirable. He said that although they may be in New Zealand during the run, that they will be with us in spirit. He also said that he wanted team Desirable to wear the color PINK. Crash then called-up the Hair and the Hosts, and finished with the customary down-downs.

At that point Slippery and crew handed out candles and Christmas song sheets. Godfather then led us through a brilliant set of Christmas songs. Once complete, the circle closed, and the forces rushed the table of yummy food.

On On!

Mr. Whippy.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I Want YOU to Host a Run

Hash is great fun for us all. Where else can you join your friends for a fun island run, some food, and usually all the beer/soda you can drink for $15? You can't. What makes this great experience possible is you. Everyone doing their little part so that Hash can be enjoyed by all each Monday.

Hosting a run is a great way to help Hash and show your support. Plus, it's just good fun. Contact Mr. Whippy and reserve your run today.

For further information about hosting or just being a good Hasher see How Hash Works.

PS: Help us keep hosting costs down and host a BYO Food run.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1474

Apologies from your Assistant Trainee Scribe in the delivery of the trash, but he was enjoying Savaii. The hash was hosted by Poumuli, Wahoo and Dawn Raid at Luna and Mark Paul’s house in Vaola. A very good turnout of runners and walkers apprehensively gazed down the gorge behind the house but luckily (or not) the run was in the other direction. The pack was led out of the gate by Tallyho and Godfather who immediately took the wrong turn down to the right. Instead the pack had to be forced up the Cross-Island Road, and down Bank Street. Several false trails were ignored, but Brent ran up one we had not even considered. The run continued down into the bush road, and Tallyho gladly ran up to a cross and returned. A lot of energy, that man. The trail led on to a jungle trail, over an up through the river into the forest conservation area, through a family garden and onto the road above Myna’s. Then it was on home up the Cross-Island Road, which most took at a walking pace.

Godfather had again provided us with his sweet nuts that all enjoyed.

Since it was Tallyho’s last run with us before returning to Fiji he was named Interim GM for the evening’s proceedings. With his by name trade-marked loudness, he barked the circle into order, using profanity seldom heard in our family hash. He called for a run report but none was given, to which he retorted – well bugger you lot then. There would be more of that.

He first called on the rethreads to step forward and there were many – Godmother, Pussysnatcher, Probona, Tony Blair, Selena. None had any worthy excuses so were told to bugger off without a down-down. Then there were those new to Apia Hash, these included Endre, Kjetil, Kristin and Øystein Hallre from Norway, Lauli Paul, Kathy from Australia, Bogman and Shithole from Vietnam, Puli from Tokelau, and Ed from Samoa although he jokingly said he was a black Norwegian. Tallyho complained that the visitor statistics for Samoa would now be hopelessly skewed, but told them to bugger off too. Luckily he missed the slip in the introductions that Kristin was visiting not Poumuli but his real name (hah, hah!). But he did get Dawn Raid a down-down for mocking a fellow hashman’s name. He also noted that there were no rules in the hash except no poofters, as he had observed a hashman picking a flower on the trail and placing it behind his ear. What made it worse was that the flower picked was of the type that wilts immediately, so Gabor took his Flowerplucker Award with more speed than usual. The interim GM also raised the issue of the smallness of the cups, so Wahoo got the Too Poor Host Award.

Tallyho has a habit to leave non-hash matters aside, but having observed a hash mere chasing her child in a restaurant and over-hearing four diggers commenting that she was too young to possibly be the mother, the GM awarded her the Beauty Queen Award. She needed a whipping boy, but Lewinsky could not be found (funny how that recurs) so SOTB stepped in.

Celebrity Awards were given to Dawn Raid (tennis article, and concern by PM Key on the return of dawn raids), Poumuli (two climate change articles) and Sassygirl (husband’s photo in paper and ad for PASS).

The GM called for nominations. Slippery complained about the reference to surfboards in the last blog, as he has never owned a surfboard. To demonstrate, he showed the hash what he does have, namely a boogie board and something he described as a hand board. Tallyho denied his request for an award to Poumuli, as no respecting hashman would admit to needing a hand job to get up. Suzanne (popularly Vampire) got an award that again passed quicker than the speed of light, so quick I could not even write down what it was for. The GM spotted a hash mere in the circle with a hat on, and picked on Heather for the offence (although that is not usual in Apia Hash, only when doing the down-down). Never argue with the GM, as Brent found out when trying to get the GM an Undue Sportsmanship Award. Brent complained that he had been passed three times by Tallyho, to which he replied “but you were running backwards, you bastard”.

At this point young Keneti spotted Sassygirl leaning. Tallyho handed the floor to Snake to give us the outcome of the Mismanagement discussions. But first he commended Tallyho for coming even though he was leaving in three hours. Tallyho took the On On Award with aplomb and a large burp. Snake announced that Princess of Darkness would be our new GM for the year, and that Hash Cash would be on a rotational basis. POD took over to applause and announced that the Hareraiser would be Slippery assisted by Kiwi, Crash Bandicoot would handle the Hash Mugs, Poumuli would realize his lifelong dream of becoming the actual Scribe assisted by SOTB, Lewinsky the Brewmaster, Snake the Hash Haberdasher, Mr. Whippy on the Hash Blog, etc.

Now after checking the blog I can see that my record of this was all wrong, and you can read the corrected announcement of the Mismanagement Team on the blog, with several positions unfilled.

The hash was treated to barbeque and salads, with the 2nd Secret Sauce this time, and lovingly prepared by OK and Luna.

So that completes my assistant traineeship.

On On,

Apia Hash House Harriers Scribe (official)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Mismanagement Team Forming...

The Mismanagement team is forming... Princess of Darkness (POD) has kindly taken the position as GM and is assembling her team. So far the positions are as follows:

o Grandmaster - Princess of Darkness
o Hash Monk (torments & assigns names) - UNFILLED
o Hare Raiser (schedules runs) - BB & Ring Ring
o Brewmaster (gets the beer & soda) - Lewinski
o Hash Cash (manages the cash) - Heather (for July)
o Haberdasher (counts runs & issues shirts) - Fang
o Hash Mugs (keeper of the mugs) - Crash Bandicoot
o Hash Nuts (brings the nuts) - UNFILLED
o Hash BBQ (keeper of the BBQ) - Snake
o Scribes (shares news & maps) - Poumuli & SOTB
o Blog Heads (manages the blog) - Mr. Whippy & SOTB

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Samoa Perimeter Relay - Sat 29 Aug 2009

The Apia Hash House Harriers will be participating in the 2009 Samoa Perimeter Relay on Saturday, 29 Aug 2009. The run starts at 5:00am sharp in Sinalei and finishes late in the day downtown. This relay race spans 64 miles. There are 6 people per team and 24 legs of about 4K each for the relay - so each team member runs four legs. BB is organizing the run.

Hash Run 1475 - Mon 20 Jul 2009

Welcome to Apia HASH Run No 1475
5.30pm Monday 20 July 2009

It is the mid year and time for
Christmas in July.

You are invited to come along suitably attired in
Red and White or Yellow and Green.
Elves caps are essential.
There will be some singing of Christmas Songs by candlelight,
good food and much enjoyment of Hash fellowship.

This HASH is at Slippery and Francis’s residence.
(see map below)

The last (TOP) white house above the Main front gate of NUS
(turn up the hill off Vaivase Road).
Our house is opposite the Primary School.

This Hash is sponsored by Slippery, Susanne (Vampire) and Kiwi.
Come along and enjoy a Little Winter Wonderland.

On On, Slippery.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Hash Run 1474 - Mon 13 Jul 2009

Hash Run #1474 will be held up the mountain at Wahoo's home in Vaoala (see SOTB's map). There are rumors that Poumuli's planning a wicked trail with devious falsies, steep mountain sides, thick bush crawls, and deep ravines.

Be sure to arrive on or before 5:30 PM. It gets dark early and we don't want Hashers getting lost in the bush.

On On!

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1473

This was Snake’s 1000th run, an event which is not often seen, so our hosts made sure this would be a memorable one. Snake had commandeered a dump truck from Apia Concrete Products which was waiting for us across from the Snakepit next to Lotemau. As the truck must have been recently used there were plenty of dirty hashers after the short trip up towards the Aai o Fiti area. Not that we needed to be concerned about getting dirty. The trail led up and up into the hills and a few energetic hashers were soon slowing down, particularly when one of Snake’s false trails had been “tampered with by local pickaninnies” according to Tallyho. Nevermind, the trail was re-acquired but many needed help up the next steep slope. Some of the greyer hashers even needed help from a hash mere! As the pack came out onto the top of the hill we were greeted by a delightful twilight, which was ruined by the fact that the next stage was a near-vertical drop down the slipperiest slope in Apia. The number of falls were immeasurable, but Mr. Whippy, Poumuli, Heather and others touched their mulis on the mud. Slippery fell so many times we were thinking of using him as a surfboard. SOTB simply sledded down the hill on his muli. It was slow going, mainly due to congestion at the trickiest spots, but we made it. It was on home down to Vaitele Street and back to the Snakepit.

Princess of Darkness again stepped in as GM, even though we were happy to see the GM (Eveready) and Karaoke back with us. (editor - Eveready has completed his term as GM. A new GM and Mismanagement team are yet to be named.) POD started off with the Rethreads, of which there were many – Sid, Goer, Orgy Georgy, Wahoo, Venom, Snakebite, Skankanavian, Hobbes, Mighty Mouse, Doreen, Natasha – I think that was all.

Apparently our rules have changed from 10 years ago. When the GM called on those new to Apia Hash, a rethread called Worthless stepped in. He was joined by Mouldy Allnight from the Qatar Hash, and neither of them knew the rule as to when to start on their down-down. A new pair of shoes was spotted, and Olsen drank his award with a mixture of fear and loathing.

The Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli, Gabor and Brent for the climate change conference half-page photo, Sassygirl’s attack on government was taken by SOTB (he tried to disown her!) and Dawn Raid for a headline about overstayers needing to return voluntarily.

The GM described the run as a particularly vicious one – well it would be for anyone trying to push a stroller – and gave the Living Up To Your Hash Name award to Slippery. She went on to describe a frantic phone call from a hash mere who had been asked to help Snake with the catering, who upon agreeing had to turn to Crash Bandicoot for help. Lewinsky helpfully pointed out that Crash had held him up for 50 tala for the salad, so Crash joined Delicious in the award. Now fully on a roll, and given that Lewinsky was being lippy, she described how he had taken unfair advantage during a fishing contest at Taumesina and winning the event. He still couldn’t skull even a small glass.

Snake nominated Goer and Bits and Pieces for the Getting Lost Before the Run Started Award, later to be joined by Suzanne, who couldn’t find it even as she was standing on shredded paper outside the Snakepit. Needless to say, that down-down disappeared at lightening speed.

The hash was treated to a description of events during the Iko Memorial dinner, where due to a tight dress Skankanavian full frontal flashed the Head of State. We could not get the rest of the siva group to perform for us though. To liven things up, Tallyho described, loudly of course, how one hash mere had deprived an entire community of their water supply during the run, so Maddy got the Breaking Water Pipes Award. The GM helpfully reminded Tallyho that he was one who had required help up the hill from a hash mere, but the award only got him more worked up. Decrying the spectacle of FBI and Brent sprinting the last of the trail home, and bringing disrepute to the hash (“people will think we are some sort of sporting club!”), he got the two of them an Undue Athleticism Award. Since we were discussing the trail, Poumuli called for Snake to get a Pollution Award because of the inordinate amount of paper used on the false trail. Snake defended this by explaining that it was the requisite amount of paper needed for a cross, so Poumuli had to join him (why oh why do I open my mouth). SOTB pointed out that Poumuli had tossed his tobacco into the pen where Snake keeps his puppies, so he got a second pollution award (at least that will stop them from barking).

Gabor went into a much too long description of Snake’s past runs, and amid loud snoring from the hash circle was awarded the Windbag Award by the GM. The GM discovered that not only was MilkMe late, but he was smoking in the circle, so front and centre he went. SOTB recounted how during the Taumesina classic a hashman had brought his young daughter to this beer infested swearing event (wait a second, POD brings Happy Feet to hash?), so Sid the Tall Maori got the Child Endangerment Award.

Tallyho had now recovered his wits and described with shock and horror how he had seen two seasoned hashers chariot riding on the way back. Slippery got no mercy, but Godfather asked for leniency, as it was his first such offence in 28 years of hashing. He got a small one as a result, but showed his usual good style in delivery (editor - the GM was merciless and handed both Godfather and Slippery double-downs). Poumuli nominated Dawn Raid for the Ms Roger Stanley Friendship Award for sharing a house with four fa’fafines in Pago. Lewinsky wanted SOTB front and centre for violating Yacht Club rules and destroying property in his advanced wooing of girls.

Our actual GM – Eveready – recounted how a hash mere at a wedding had been told she looked better than the bride, but got so sloshed she couldn’t remember this the next day. Delectable was at least relieved she woke up next to her own husband.

POD noted that this was Snake’s 1000th run, so honour of this he had to drink from his favourite mug – the titty mug (although some hecklers suggested he really wanted the other one!). For some reason the hash circle sang happy birthday during the protracted down-down. Snake was asked to say a few words, but he stumbled on his first line and named Karaoke by her real name. End of speech, and the hosts and hare were serenaded. Skankanavian tried for a late nomination, having asked a hash mere to come out with her, but Delicious forgot to close the cake shop and got grounded. The hash thought this was a stretch so Skankanavian had to join, with Gene stepping in for Cellphonus Interruptus. SOTB also wanted a late nomination to Skankanavian for Not Living Up To Your Hash Name Award, as there are two navy ships in port and no scandals as yet, but the GM over-ruled this one.

Editor - POD also noted that there are some new Hashers yet to be named. These namings will take place at a later time. Perhaps after the new GM and Mismanagement team is in-place.

Snake and Fang had put on a great spread of food, so the hungry hashers all enjoyed themselves.

Next run will be from Wahoo’s house in Vaola.

On on,


Friday, July 03, 2009

Hash Run 1473 - Mon 6 Jul 2009

Be sure to join us for Snake’s 1,000th Apia Hash House Harriers Run. This run, Hash Run #1473 will be at the Snake Pit downtown (see map). NO FEES and FREE BEER for all regular Apia Hash members and those with Hash names. Snake will be donating a keg, and Apia Hash will be donating a keg. Witnessing a 1,000th run is a very rare event – it may not happen again for 20 years.

1,000th Run Fact: If you ran every week, it would take (19) years and (12) weeks to reach (1000) runs.

On On!