Friday, August 11, 2017

Hash Trash 1893

The Hash was hosted by AC/DC at the Tokelau compound in Moamoa. A cool day it was with blustery winds. The perfect day to set a run on flour. Yes, for a change he had actually set a run. We went off the usual way though, to the left towards the big ford. But here there was a circle and we went deeper into Moamoa heartland. Apart from some lazy dogs and curious locals it was all good. We crossed the ford, and realised what the laughter was about – we went into a small loop and returned to the ford. So on back we went to where we had come. We explored the ford for flour, but in the end several just ran back and up to Chanel College. All good.

POD called the circle to order, and new to Hash was Johnny who had been brought by FBI. The retreads were FBI (small operation), Overstayer (work), Tom (on Savaii) and Lucy (back for a week). Screamer as Shoe Inspector failed.

This Day in History Awards went to Il Capo (1173 – Construction of the campanile of the Cathedral of Pisa (now known as the Leaning Tower of Pisa) begins; it will take two centuries to complete – Italian efficiency and skill!), Crash Bandicoot (1947 – Thor Heyerdahl's balsa wood raft the Kon-Tiki, crashes into the reef at Raroia in the Tuamotu Islands after a 101-day, 7,000 kilometres (4,300 mi) journey across the Pacific Ocean in an attempt to prove that pre-historic peoples could have traveled from South America), AC/DC (1971 – The first Pacific Islands Forum (then known as the "South Pacific Forum") is held in Wellington, New Zealand, with the aim of enhancing cooperation between the independent countries of the Pacific Ocean), Tom (Feast Day of St Sithney, patron saint of mad dogs) and POD for Happy Feet (Happiness Happens Day).

Celebrity Awards went to Nom Nom for Peeping Clam (peeping out of an Observer photo), Eveready for Slim Shady’s dad, and FBI for the crime headline accompanying it.

Cunning Linguist then did a special celebrity award for the Norwegians, as the new tram seats in Oslo, in twilight, looked as if the tram was full of burka wearers, freaking the people out. Witch Doctor and Poumuli went up.

Turning to the theme for the run, babies, the GM had to ponder the meaning of Snip & Tuck’s carnevalesque outfit – was she ready for babies? Nom Nom and Lewinsky were given the Worst Nappy Ever Awards, Mark the Best Nappy Award, and Screamer, whose definition of babies as a collection of orifices that produce biohazards was acclaimed.

It had been an active weekend in sports so Lucy and Cunning were given awards for the Lions and Crusaders respectively. We also had Neymar sign the highest transfer fee in history, so for the Best Brazilian she brought up Johnny, Snake and second best FBI.

Returning to the crappy nappies theme, Il Capo obviously approaches that as an Italian architect approaches building towers, as her son had crapped all over the deck at a weekend Perimeter training set.

She also pointed out that this was a nice venue for the Hash, but that AC/DC must enjoy Christmas too much as the decorations were still up. For some reason this went to Snake and Poumuli.
FBI nominated the failing barmen Lewinsky and AC/DC, and when all said aye for AC/DC he failed to notice that he was dobbing himself in.

Latecummers Godfather and Peeping Clam were greeted. Cunning nominated Snip & Tuck, as she had arranged for them to go for a walk on Saturday, but when ready there was no sign, no sight or sound. Obviously practicing her costume. Lewinsky nominated the GM for winning the 21 K, and Poumuli for rescuing Godfather from a second by taking his hat.

Il Capo nominated Crash as someone had crashed into her car. Slim Shady was latecummer, and AC/DC gave her a second one for pulling out of hosting.

Turning to announcements, we need drivers and supporters for the Perimeter Relay. Godfather mentioned the 2018 Inter Hash in Nadi and urged a group of us to go.

The Hare and Hosts were saluted before a magnificent island style feast was served up.

Next week will be Father’s Day run at Godfather’s and Titty G’s in Poutasi. Your Scribe will be in Honiara with the Hash there.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1892

The Hash was hosted at On The Rocks by Lewinsky and POD in the absence of a suitable host. Cockblocker was live hare and took us on a jaunt on the seawall to Mulinuu, back into town and on home through the back roads of Apia. Not the most interesting run, but whatever. There were sweet nuts awaiting.

POD called the circle to order, trying to be heard over the infernal catervauling of the OTR band. There were no newbies or retreads. While Richie was fined for leaning, Shoe Inspector Snakebite struck gold with Prince.

This Day in History Awards went to Poumuli (1030 – Ladejarl-Fairhair succession wars: Battle of Stiklestad: King Olaf II fights and dies trying to regain his Norwegian throne from the Danes), a British
Medic (1900 – Kaiser Wilhelm II makes a speech comparing Germans to Huns; for years afterwards, "Hun" would be a disparaging name for Germans), Snake (1970 – Black Tot Day: The last day of the officially sanctioned rum ration in the Royal Navy), StrapOn (1976 – In New York City, David Berkowitz (a.k.a. the "Son of Sam") kills one person and seriously wounds another in the first of a series of attacks), Crash Bandicoot (World Hepatitis Day) and Lewinsky (International Beer Day).

Celebrity Awards went to Coinsave (for pro and anti Sinalei stories), Nom Nom (for Snatched story), POD (for being the “darling of Samoan running”) and Poumuli (for giving his real name to the WHO Expanded Special Project on the Elimination of Neglected tropical diseases).
On the run Mark and Coinsave ran past his building and he didn’t pay homage, while Mark was chasing Danielle. POD joined for being vindictive. Screamer was nominated for partying wildly on the south side.

Snake nominated Lewinsky, as he had asked for an extension cord at OTR, and it was so filthy he had to unlock it somehow, and somehow broke something. Anyway both of them took the award as it was incomprehensible.  Prince gave the hero award to Lewinsky for his role in the paddling regatta and the provision of an after race keg. He then tried to blame Titty Galore and went from hero to zero, but she joined in.

Nom Nom nominated POD and Lewinsky who as last week’s hosts had not provided us with a safe space for Hash. Because THERE WERE PEOPLE HAVING SEX IN THEIR TOILET. In the end it was agreed that this must have been Nom Nom and Peeping Clam.

StrapOn nominated Poumuli for Wahoo’s FB posts about pregnant women needing to have sex every day. He then nominated Godfather for showing off his tattoo to someone from the Suva Hash that StrapOn had met in the Port Vila Hash.

For the 50th Anniversary of the Peace Corps, Eveready and Louisa were nominated. Peeping Clam made Mark join them for having made out with one during the celebration party. Crash was made to join for looking Mexican.

The Hare and Hosts were saluted and then PIZZA!

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit