Friday, January 27, 2012

Hash Run - 30th Jan - Sam the Fireman & HH @ Marina Hotel - Matautu

Evening All,

Next week's run will be hosted by the Fireman and HH at the Marina Hotel in Matautu. This is located, well, you guessed it, in Matautu, opposite the Marina! :)

There is also a new pool there so if you fancy a dip after the run (Pls rinse down first) then bring a change of clothes (and no peeing in the pool) - special orders from the Fire Dept.

The hosts have kindly offered to provide the spread, but we will reconfirm with them and let you know on the blog. Dont forget your hash cash.
Will have a keg and drinks as per usual

No Map for this location, head down to the marina and look for the Hotel.

On On

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Hash Trash 1606

Oh God our help in ages past, we needed strength for this run. Hosted by Princess of Darkness and Lewinsky, with Lewinsky setting a trail that was surely going to test us. The heat was high in the afternoon, as we set off down the familiar paths past Vai Vai’s water torture course, only to find the longest false trail in Hash history. Disgruntled we trundled back looking for the way out, only to be met by a grinning Lewinsky pointing us up to the East Coast Road. There was some confusion here, as the walkers had picked the right track and headed through Apia Park, while the runners picked up the return trail coming the other way. We ran down past the churches and headed right near Vailele. This was a long straight and slightly rising road that eventually took us past NUS. That long road there was hotter than the sun and many were visibly melting. Turning the corner after the cemetery it was straight down to Apia Park, via the back roads we have run on many times. Except when the runners got there the gates had been closed, so we had to add on the long run down to the UN building and back up the road to Taumeasina. Basically the run was a bugger.

SOTB was present and accounted for, and called the circle to order. The newbies were Filomena, brought by Sassygirl, David from Brisbane, and Sue and David who had been invited by Strangler. The rethreads were Slim Shady (in NYC), Ben (recovering from pretending to be part of the road), Eveready (overseeing Delicious’ accident), Bruce and Desperate Housewife (did a double for wearing a cap).

Shoe inspection followed, with the GM doing the honours. We had all seen Pussysnatchers fancy new shoes, but these had been hidden away. Instead Poumuli nominated PS for an award for conspiring with a local cat to piss on Poumuli’s shoes.
Celebrity Award went to Sexpot for the advert in the Observer masquerading as a news story. Should be illegal! This Day in History Awards went to Fireman Sam (in 1960 the US Mercury space programme launched a monkey named Sam into space), PS (feast day of St Paul’s Conversion), Lewinsky for POD (1998 2nd European Space Agency Ariane rocket launched), and Poumuli and Witch Doctor (1995 Norway launches a satellite that Russians mistake for a Trident missile, nearly sparking a retaliatory nuke attack).

The GM had an award for an older fitter hasher who had been spotted on the golf course with not one but three caddies, and female at that, but they looked between 8-9 years old. Tallyho got the Employment Promotion Award, although it was bordering to something else!

Lewinsky had been fishing trying to get some victuals for the Hash, but all he got was a tiny wahoo. So for the Epic Fail Award he was joined by Wahoo. Then there was a special birthday award for Ninja. We also learned that Sassy had qualified for the Classic Pratfall Award, by falling and sliding on a deceptively flat piece of floor, somewhat under the influence, but not so much that she didn’t rescue the bottle of Baileys to the detriment of her rump.

Opening up for nominations we had a bit of a kerfuffle, as Harlech confidently tried to nominate the GM for no apparent reason, and while Tallyho should have explained things a bit better to him, it was decided that Harlech should take the You Need to Have a Point Award.

Colm nominated PS for dragging 14 people through a flooded canal, and 10 of them didn’t make it. PS defended himself vigorously, that this was a voluntary event, and he had explained the hazards. A vote was taken, and the Extreme Slippery Award went to them both.

Further on Ninja’s party, after her flying fox impersonation Sassy had been recuperating on Ninja’s bed, only to be awoken by the words “wake up I’m horny”. This rather disturbed her as it was Horny Ho who was uttering the phrase. Horny Ho got the Lesbian Vampire Killers Needed Award. On a similar theme, Captain Mortein and Pirate Princess were spotted fondling and canoodling, which is not allowed in the circle. Get A Room Award.

Strangler had been running late and was just behind a car that suddenly stopped in the middle of traffic. SOTB tried to insist that he had stopped to help the Hare get back on time, and Strangler shouldn’t have been up his ass like that anyway, but the crowd was not having this.

Sassy had spotted an incident earlier on the lawn, when a Hash Baby had been stung by a wasp. Lewinsky got an Equipment Maintenance Failure Award. Then there was Titty Galore who had also been at Ninja’s party, going on and on about her early morning yoga classes and have tough they were, and that even Godfather was going. But the combination of yoga and other sports had made him so weak he could not even crack a small taro. Censored Award.

Snatch had been attentively listening to the birthday speech during the Ninja party, but was surprised to hear Sassy yell “speech, speech” almost immediately afterwards. Early Alzheimer Award to Sassy. Back to the run, Sexpot had been sweating trying to catch up, but when he ran past Scoops there was Titty G, eating a feast and waving. This is not what we are supposed to be doing during the run, so a Wrong Award went to Titty G.

Ben, poor guy got a Sitting Down Award, and insisted on standing for the rest of the circle, even as he had been given dispensation by the GM. This sort of Kim Jong Il behaviour should be stamped on next week. DMT had a cellphonus interruptus, while Sassy decided that the three quiet and polite people needed a down-down, Diwai, Sue and David. Poumuli tried to get Lewinsky for the fact that there was nothing on the Lewinsky saga this week, but had forgotten that this had already been raised, so a Stupid Mouth Opens Before Brain Award. Proboner was a latecummer.

Sassy had been asking around for possible hosts, and one couple had agreed to host but only once their house was fixed up. Since Alan had then promptly started painting and fixing, we could only give him a Dedication to Hash and/or Mana Award.
Slim Shady called for a Leavers Award for Colm. Hornithologist started to tell the PS story again, so an immediate Apparently Blonde Award was given. This prompted Sassy to remember the strange chase we had seen on the lawn involving said blonde and Strangler. It was all a bit weird, so we gave him a This Cannot Be Explained Award.

The Hare and the Hosts were then saluted, including Mr and Mrs Lewinsky. They had arranged for a great feast and all were happy to eat after the long run and arduous circle.

There is no host as yet for next week, so watch the blog.
Desperate Housewife will be Assistant Trainee Scribe next week. Also please check out the post from Vai Vai regarding the biathlon.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Greetings from World Hash

Happy New Year – from Stray Dog and Little Pig in Jiangmen, China!

Today as we celebrate Chinese New Year and recently the holiday season and western New Year, we have a lot to think about in our hash resolution over the next year. Here are some things you should consider:

* In many hashes, a very few people do all the work. Have you done your share of the haring, helped out with hash chores in the last year as much as you should have? Make a resolution to do your share over the next year.

* Some hashes suffer from attendance, especially in the colder months in the temperate climates or the wet months in the Monsoon areas. Make a resolution to be a REAL hasher and support your hash more over the last year, especially on those hash days when it takes a tough “resolve” to get out there and do your part.

* World Interhash Events – We are blessed this year with three events who are aiming at a world audience. While some poofters whine about it, any good hasher likes the variety and more opportunities to see others in the hash around the world. While I would like you to join me in Orlando for the 18th World Interhash, a weekend I have put on annually since 1995 for the whole world (formerly known as Global Trash Hash), I would ask that you only attend one of these events and vote with your interhash dollars. For further details, go to the calendar and look up continental or world events.

Interhash – Held in Java in May and the original interhash event aimed at the whole world. Despite past problems with graft, corruption and election fraud allegations, the current hosts promise a fair deal and the Belgium folks want your vote and support to take the next one. While tailored a world event, it has actually been held in Asia/Down-Under all but two occasions in Cyprus and Wales respectively.

The Great African Hash MigratiON – Held in Mombasa Kenya, this promises to be a gathering of friendly folks with no further agendas or elections, but just to have fun. It is a spinoff from the last Interhash event resulting from election problems alleged to have occurred in Borneo that caused the Africa bid to lose.

World Interhash – Last held in Jiangmen, China, this is a truly world interhash event being held in Orlando, Florida USA the last weekend in September. It is the lowest cost of the three and has a rich tradition of being the best bang for your buck interhash in the world annually since 1995. A great show, great trails, great food and great beer is promised, as well as one of the most popular tourist destinations in the world. See you there!

HURRY – The current US$99.95 registration fee is a real bargain (when you consider $250 to $300 elsewhere), so sign up today before it goes up soon!

* Please support the World Hash House Harriers who are a non-profit group supporting the largest world hash resource at, the first hash social networking sites, and (even before there was a MySpace, Facebook or long before hashspace). We have books and other stuff on there we sell to help pay for it all, as well as the membership which gives you an embroidered patch, decal, certificate, free website/photo album, and much more for only $5 a year. Go to the marketplace for that and more goodies sold by other hashers around the world.

Now boring words…

Thanks for all the support everyone has given me and the World Hash House Harriers over the last year. We truly could not pull off this major information service without your help.

Have a prosperous and happy new year!

Cheers and On On

Stray Dog and Little Pig

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Taumeasina Biathlon

Or Vai Vai's water torture!

Well all you Hashers, those who have done the biathlon think it’s a great thing, a lot of fun, with exercise thrown in and a few jolly drinks afterwards. Poumuli, Hot Nuts, Pussy Snatcher, Ali, Mark from Coach’s Corner and others have taken part so far and say they will return. We’ve had many helpers including Godfather, who is endeavouring to enter next time, as will Crime. GM, Lewinsky,Tooth Fairy, Desperate Housewife etc. are also threatening to have a go. We’re still looking to increase the numbers, so teams are allowed – one swimmer, one runner or any aids that you may feel necessary to get you around the swim. Remember it’s all about having fun on a Saturday afternoon. It’s also aimed at improving your time around the track each week and improving your swimming. It’s not aimed at elite athletes, just funsters.

So bring your flippers, floaties, body boards or whatever might help you complete the swims to Taumeasina Reserve for 3pm registration and only $2 entry fee. Don’t forget to bring drinks of your choice for afterwards, we only have enough beers for prizes. Captain Mortein has graciously given up his time to be our water marshall so far (thank you Captain), but he can’t do it every week (and we wouldn’t expect him to). Lewinsky also lent us a kayak last week, which we can’t always expect to use. So we still need somebody with a paddle board or kayak or canoe to help us with this job, or to lend and transport to the venue. We can’t hold this event without a paddler so “please” could somebody help out with this job or lend us some kind of floating thing. We also always need timekeepers. Hope to see many of you on Saturday at 3pm. The course is : 400mtr run, 300mtr swim, 1km run, 300mtr swim, 400mtr run. Presentation, drinks (byo)/event post mortem. Sorry, it’s not for anybody under 18 years of age.

On on, Vai Vai & Moa.
Ph: 759 7998

Monday, January 23, 2012

Paris H3's - 800th Run

Hi Folks,

Just a reminder that it's Paris H3's 800th Run on the 18th of February and to celebrate we're inviting you to join us for a weekend of Hash related fun and frolics. Places are filling up fast with lots of international visitors and so if you'd like to come (I promise you won't regret it!) then please email Half Crazy to register...

A reminder of what's on offer!:

Friday 17th: Pub Crawl in Paris,
Sat 18th: 800th Run!! Bois de Vincennes
Party (8pm- until you can't dance anymore!), buffet, drinks and dj!
Sun 19th Historical run, taking in some of Paris's main sights

Tickets cost 65€ and this includes a 800th Paris Hash T-shirt, both runs, the saturday night party with buffet and 4 drinks.

for more info please check our site

Hope to see some of you here!!

On On!
Princess Pussy

Friday, January 20, 2012

Hash Run 1606 - Taumeasina with POD, Lewinsky, Proboner and family

Morning All on this wet Friday.

Next weeks run will be hosted by POD, Lewinsky and Family at their home in Taumeasina. There is no theme for the run, but be sure to bring a change of clothes as the weather may play its part by pissing down as usual..Also, if you feel like taking a swim after the run, you are more than welcome to do so.

The hosts have kindly offered to cater for the run so you don't need to bring anything except for your hash cash of $15. There will be a keg on Monday as well as softies and hopefully Godfathers sweet nuts.

Run starts 1730Hrs...

On On

Hash Trash 1605

The Hash was hosted by Wahoo, Witch Doctor and Poumuli at Le Manumea Resort. It was a glorious day, after all the rain on the weekend, which necessitated that Pussysnatcher reset the run that he and Poumuli had scouted on Saturday, thankfully assisted by Cameron. The trail had been set on flour, so there was not that much left of it after the torrents. It was on out the drive at Manumea, up the hill past the Stevenson Museum, with some eager beavers testing out false trails down to Mt Vaea and past the Chinese Embassy. Please note – if no markers, no bloody trail going that way. We turned in past Ray’s Taxis and went down the hill to the water treatment plant – not really sure how they treat it as it looks murkier than before it gets into the tanks. Again, Captain Mortein dispatched Vai Vai to check for a non-existent falsie, as the trail led up the hill to the first waterfall. This was the first opportunity to get wet, most chose not to. Over the first rise was easy, then there was a sheer balancing act across some slippery logs over the second waterfall. A broad pool ringed with trees and flowering bushes drew us into the third waterfall – here you HAD to get wet. Unfortunately the photographic epic that had been expected was cut short when Slippery, insisting on braving the fall without assistance, er, well, slipped and dropped the camera. But quick intervention he saved the memory chip so we hope we have some evidence. There then followed an actual false trail that no one took, with the real trail moving at mountain goat steepness at first up the muddy and increasingly intractable hill through the trees. This went on and on on. Reaching what appeared to be the summit there was a slight dip that instead of returning us to firmer ground instead led us out onto a knife edge of a traverse, with equally deadly falls threatening on each side. Finally we levelled off in some fields next to what apparently was the former Head of State’s country retreat, replete with giant cactus and strangler figs. The trail followed the access road down to the reservoir by the old German aqueduct and on down to where we started. Technically not crossing the trail, more outlining a balloon, according to Tallyho. Well in the words of your Scribe this was indeed a hard run, but it was epic in the scenery and the continuing challenges it posed to the pack. We helped each other and we made it. Kudos to Pussysnatcher for the grand idea.

Back at the Manumea it took a while for breaths to be caught, but eventually SOTB our GM called the circle to order. He called forth those new to Apia Hash, and they were Luigi from Italy (oh I really couldn’t tell that) invited by Ali, Diwai brought by Pussysnatcher, and Lucy and Phil who had been told by someone called Bolu that this was a great activity to bring their baby to – so Pussysnatcher took the child Endangerment Award. The rethreads were Wahoo, Strangler, Tickled, Ali, Zsa Zsa, Mrs Ninja and Leilani. All made lame excuses too farfetched to record (actually your Scribe was getting a refill, and couldn’t hear).

Celebrity Awards went to Karaoke (nice photo in Observer), Godfather (matai title bestowal), Sassygirl BJ (WTO story and photo), Tickled (Rock da Boat ad), Snatch (Mum in paper) and missing in action Sexpot (Westpac ad mascarading as a news story), Swinger, Cockblocker, 60 and 9’er for the audience with the current Head of State.

This Day in History Awards went to Captain Mortein (1814 Denmark callously ceded Norway to Sweden), Poumuli and Witch Doctor (1938 Norway callously annexed 1/5 of Antarctica through Queen Maud’s Land), Rachael (1919 US introduces prohibition – very unhasmanlike), Chilindrina (1811 6000 Spanish troops defeat 100,000 Mexican rebels), Lewinsky (1998 Drudge Report first breaks the news of the Lewinsky Scandal) and SOTB (1547 Ivan the Terrible becomes tsar – well SOTB is equally Terrible).
Lewinsky was appointed Shoe Inspector, but while he was initially unsuccessful in his quest, someone had spotted Luigi removing brand new shoes, and this was corroborated by Vai Vai. As the shoes had been removed from the scene Luigi got away with a regular down down.

The GM presented a heart warming story of dedication to duty, where by a medically inclined hasher had been called by the clinic, an emergency, and told the nurse to give the patient this and that medicine and he would see them in the morning. He then returned to his golfing! Tooth Fairy got the Take Two and Call Me in the Morning Award.

Then there was further gallantry from the Hashers, with Sam the Fireman helping damsels in distress over logs and other obstacles, so he got the Best Excuse for Gropage Award. Less gallant but equally thought provoking were the rather oddly shaped avocadoes brought by Horny Ho. Basically they were about as phallic as you could possibly get, veined and all. Your Scribe knows what you would like to call this award, but wont as this is a family hash! Suffice it to say that there was much ribald commentary, including a question from Tallyho to Tooth Fairy as to whether he would prescribe such avocadoes for anything. Possibly lockjaw….

A hasher had been seen destroying the trail, stomping on the fragile flour trail, and making it so much harder for the followers. Colm was identified, and Tallyho wanted the person who had brought him to Hash, which for some reason was deemed to be Vai Vai (I thought it was Hornithologist?). Anyway, Wilful Destruction of Hash Trail Award to the both of them.

Then there was the report from the run, where the group just after the FRBs had gotten lazy and while standing on the last mark had claimed an inability to see where the trail went. Just keep moving you dozy bugger – Ali got the award.
Then there was the unfortunate postal system delay that had caused Kiwi to get his thank you card from Poumuli and Wahoo over a year late – Going Postal Award to both of them. Strangler wanted a Littering Award to the Hasher who had left a water bottle on the trail, and the Hare for leaving a plastic flour bag on a branch – these went to Vai Vai and Poumuli respectively.

A further nomination came from Princess of Darkness, that Seismic should get the Know When To Ask Whether Someone is Pregnant Award. Apparently he had assumed that the rounded voluptuousness of one Hash Mere must be equivalent to that of POD.
Ali wanted to nominate PS and Poumuli for the best run ever, but he screwed up the whole nomination so quite comprehensively that a vote was taken, and surprise, it went back to him. Sassy then reminded the circle of certain Hash rules, no private circles and no staying in the pool – Zsa Zsa, Luigi and Ladyfinger.

The GM then made the fatal error of asking if there were any other nominations, and Luigi being new, and Italian, assumed that this musta be addressed to him, so he nominated someone called Tavita. But Seismic hadn’t even been on the run. In the linguistic chaos that ensued it was agreed that both should take a course in Hash Rules and get a Lost in Translation Award.

Greenie then described how he had been sweating up the hill, and seen Godfather come by in the back of a blue truck, and that this should trigger a Chariot Riding Award. Godfather in his defence said that while he had accepted a ride in the truck, it was because the offer had come from Greenie who was already on the truck! Greenie got a double as he was wearing a cap for the first verse. And your Scribe ran part of the way with Godfather, who was helping Diwai and Slippery and Rachel getting up the hill, so he quite deserved a ride out of the valley!

PS then nominated the Hasher who thought taking a baby on the run was a good idea – Phil took this with much humour, but note – you could have got him back for suggesting this crazy idea in the first place! Ask your hosts next time as to how lugubrious/slippery/steep/treacherous/idiotic the trail will be. Or just watch what Captain Mortein does with his offspring!

Sassy, in her new routine, nominated Greenie for being the last to pay Hash Cash, as he hadn’t event done it yet. Tooth Fairy had an amusing story of how he had been awakened by a phonecall from Horny Ho’s husband, complaining of a sore back and needing assistance. What about getting help from Horny Ho? No she is still sleeping. A Not Divulging Any More Secrets Award to Horny Ho.

Sassygirl and Wahoo were then accused of peeing in the pool. Well hello, what do you think fish do in the water? Anyhow, Strangler pointed out that Ladyfinger had been in the water for at least five beers, and was a much more likely and interesting target. Don’t Swim in My Toilet Award.

Snatch then gave a much belaboured tree-hugger description of Lewinsky’s hunting activities in Savaii. The bottom line was that this avowed pacifist and gun control advocate (who, he?) had a gun in his truck and had shot a pig. Lewinsky claimed that this was a community service action and that he thought Snatch would have appreciated the removal of a horny old pig trying to root, around her. This obviously wasn’t going to survive the vote, even with a bunch of braying horny old pigs supporting Lewinsky, so the GM gave him the Pig Terminator Award.

After saluting the Hosts and the Hares, we descended on what was planned to have been a sumptuous feats for all. Next time, wait to pack a take home plate until all have been served. Your Scribe had to give his meagre pickings up to feed Witch Doctor!

A great big thank you to Luna and Norman for letting us use Manumea.
Next weeks Hash will be hosted by POD and Lewinsky at Taumeasina. Watch the blog for details.

Announcements: multiple birthdays being celebrated on Sunday at the Ninja compound in Vaigaga. Please respond to his email if you are able to make it.

And, the Vai Vai Water Torture Method, or biathlon, is continuing this Saturday at Taumeasina. Come along for the 3.30 PM start if you enjoy running, nearly drowning, and generally improving your fitness through what could be described as inhaling battery acid! Just kidding, you can go at your own speed, and it’s a good way of getting balanced and varied exercise. And he brings Vailima for after as a consolation prize! See previous post for details. In the chat he mentions an option to do it as a team.

Finally, why Vailima is better than coke...

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Friday, January 13, 2012

Hash Run 1605

Happy Friday Hashers
Monday's run will be hosted at Le Manumea Resort. Its easy to find - go up Cross-Island Road and you will see it on the right before you get to the Stevenson Museum. Please try and park on the Eugene Road side.

In order to avoid opprobrium from Tallyho there will be no theme, just make sure you have some sort of Hash gear for the run or for the circle.

Wahoo, Witch Doctor and I will be catering, so no need to bring anything, except Hash Cash - as always $15.

Run starts at 17.30 as usual.

Its the weekend, but it will soon be Monday....since Pussysnatcher will be the hare...

Hash Trash 1604

The Hash was hosted at Y-Not by Do Me Twice and Cockblocker. A trail had been set by DMT, using flour, so we were relieved the rain stayed off until the run started. We set out to the creek next to Aggies, following familiar paths. There were numerous looong false trails, which we were not sure were deliberate or as a result of the by now famous short attention span of DMT. We went through to the back streets of Leone and some followed a false trail that ended at the graveyard in Faatoia, causing injury by way of barbed wire to your Scribe. Back on the trail we were led a merry chase down to Apia Park and then on home to Y-Not. We need to set some rules for false trails! And we also forgot to congratulate Hot Nuts for his marksmanship with an incredibly accurate stone throw at one of the barking snapping mutts – hit the bugger right on the paw, to much intense yelping and celebratory hooting by Hot Nuts.

SOTB was out sick with some terminal social disease, so Hot Nuts stepped in as GM. He called forth those new to Apia Hash, and they were Junior (brought by CB and DMT), Ben and Neil (brought by Spanky). The GM decreed that all should get a down-down. The rethreads were Hot Nuts, Ninja, Nutcracker, Spanky, 60, 9’er, Karaoke and Ladyfinger. Lame excuses all around.

Celebrity Awards went to Godfather for his photo in the va’a story, 60 and 9’er for being pictured at an art gallery opening – Godfather claimed being on medication and passed his award to Alan. On this day in history, in 871 King Alfred started repelling the Danish invaders (this one went to Pirate Princess who obviously has not been too good at repelling a Danish invasion), in 1835 the US national debt was zero for the only time ever (Spanky and Ben) and in 1999 the US Senate commenced impeachment hearings for Clinton (Lewinsky). It was also the Feast Day of Our Lady of Prompt Succour, which for some reason was awarded to Horny Ho.

Slippery was appointed Shoe Inspector for the day, but he failed epically in finding any, so he took the award. Opening up for nominations, Sassy nominated Alan and Mana for not even being aware of their relatives in Savaii – Implausible Denial Award. Sassy also nominated the last hasher to pay Hash Cash – Greenie – noting that at least this time he didn’t have to borrow money. Last Criminal to Pay Award to Greenie.

Karaoke nominated BB for going to zumba instead of hashing. In her defence BB complained of severe backache, so Swinger had to join her in the Cause And Effect Award. Sassy claimed that Vera had caused the accident for the Samoa A rugby players in Vaoala, so a Welsh Referee Award to Vera. Poumuli nominated CB for not being able to control DMT when it came to the hosting of the Hash.

Lewinsky then nominated Karaoke for being out partying with different men while Eveready was away. The actually plausible defence was that the margaritas at On the Rocks were so terrible that she forgot was not approved by the GM, so a Cats Away Award to Karaoke.

DMT noted that CB is normally such a peace loving person (choke, what?) but that he had finally come to her rescue to beat off a pestering stalker, so a Hero Award was given. Vai Vai, who had also been choking at the last explanation, testified how CB had refused to fill his cup last time Hash was at Y-Not. When CB didn’t want to take a large one, Vai Vai stepped up and got the big cup to CB’s teeny one in the Woos Award.

At this point a newcomer to Hash was identified and dragged into the circle. Rachael has recently started at SPREP and was brought by Poumuli. Chilindrina was also dragged in as a latecummer. Spanky, continuing on the woos theme, nominated Ben for being in Samoa 4 years and not once coming to Hash. But this was deemed an Epic Failure on behalf of Spanky, so both took the award.

The GM chimed in that since this was Spanky’s last run for a while, we should let her say a few words. She thanked the Hash family for being of great support to her, and that she was always happy when at Hash or with Hashers. Before the tears started cascading, the GM gave her another down-down, which did cause just that!
Poumuli nominated Witch Doctor for giving lip to the cop that he was trying to avoid getting a ticket from – a Schuzse Me Ossifer Award. Captain Mortein was spotted leaning. Sassy had heard a rumour about two hashers having to get married. But it was only a rumour, and the fabricant was SOTB so it had to be patently false. In any event CB joined Sassy in the National Enquirer Award.

BB noted that the va’a will be sailing with no beer on board allowed, and gave 60, 9’er, CB and Swinger the All Seriousness Aside Award. Proboner was spotted leaning on Horny Ho! Looked comfy, must try. The unstoppable Sassy informed the GM that Tooth Fairy had been in Savaii and had not replied to repeated calls and texts from Horny Ho, apparently from having no credit. Tooth Fairy got the Bluesky Digicell Incompetence Award.

The GM then launched into a long tirade about a certain Hasher that he had to put up with during a visit to Auckland, and no it wasn’t Steakman. Apparently Swinger had been complaining about accommodations, was constantly coughing and had left his stinky shoes in the shared room. Odor Eaters Needed Award to Swinger. Tallyho got an award for not warming Karaoke, but my notes got messed up on that one.
Poumuli nominated the Hasher who won the most at the horse races, er, himself. Tallyho launched into a long vitriol-filled tirade about the duties of the Front Running Bastards, replete with demonstrations of the appropriate sound level and origin of the On On, and demanded that the FRBs from last week join him in a down down – only CB stepped forth.

Sassy had done some investigations as to why Godfather was on medication, and had discovered that someone had been riding him too hard – step on down Titty Galore. Hot Nuts then nominated Nutcracker for finally getting her PhD, and Greenie was again leaning. A farewell award was given to BB and Spanky before we saluted the hosts and the hare, DMT, CB and Titty G standing in for Dumass.

Vai Vai made an announcement regarding the weekend Biathlon, which has been posted on the blog.

Next week, the run will be hosted by Wahoo, Witch Doctor and Poumuli at the Manumea Hotel.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Special Announcement - Biathlon Saturdays

Talofa Hashers
As announced at the last hash, Vai Vai and Moa have set up a new adventure for the Hash. Its a regular biathlon every Saturday at Taumeasina Reserve. Its a combined swim and run, run 400m, swim 300m, run 1 km, swim 300m, then run 400m!

If you are interested, the entry charge is $2, it starts at 3 PM this Saturday, so bring your swimmers, goggles, runners, shorts and t-shirts and get ready for a new experience. But enter at your own risk.

Vai Vai has asked for some helpers, who will not have to pay the entry fee. He has asked that we include a request for anybody with a paddle board, kayak or canoe who could help us out as water marshall to please contact him on 759-7998. And also that we would appreciate volunteers for timekeeping, recording and road marshall.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Friday, January 06, 2012

Hash Run 1604

TGIF all Hashers!

Slight change of plans, as Cockblocker will be leaving early the next day.

So, Monday's run will be hosted by Do Me Twice and Cockblocker at Y-Not. The theme will still be Drunken Sailors, as CB and 9'er are off on the Va'a shortly. It will be a BYO food and BBQ, so please bring something along to share.

Y-Not is located close to the wharf, next to Paddles restaurant.

Bring your Hash Cash as there will of course be a keg!

Also a reminder to those who can, come out to the horse races on Saturday for some great fun.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Hash Trash 1603

The Hash was hosted at ACP, the Foundation of Samoa, by Uncle Fred. It had been a cool day, so the weather seemed good for a run around Vaitele. Unfortunately, it was SOTB who was to be the Hare, assisted by Tooth Fairy, so of course they took the easy way out and set the run with a car! This meant that we had some far between blobs and the run was set away from the direction of traffic. Anyway, it was out onto Vaitele Street, with a lot of confusion and no once found the trail initially. Finally a trail was found, but it meant a long false one for Pussysnatcher. He was all the way up the hill past Yazaki when he found the cross. Back we went through some industrial site and then up the next parallel hill. Same stuff but shorter, followed by another false trail about halfway to the Faleata golf course! Anyway, back down the hill past beloved Vailima and On Home. There were so many newcomers that Godfathers sweet nuts could not possibly provide succour to all in attendance. But we survived. Uncle Fred arrived with his usual fanfare and SOTB called the circle to order.

There were a heap of newcomers to Hash, Tony from NZ, Morgan, Imogen, Lulu and Trish from Mexico, and Equator, Tom, James and one guy who got Godfather’s name mixed up with that of a Joey, so Godfather had to take the down-down. The rethreads were also numerous, so apologies if I missed any – PS, Jaycey, Kat, Ted, Nelson and Fred. Excuses were too lame and carbon-footprinty.

Celebrity Awards went to Snatch (her Mom in paper again), Mrs Slippery, Godfather, Poumuli, Cockblocker, Do Me Twice and Fang, but I cant remember who did the closest living relatives for Frances and Fang.

This Day in History, we had 1950- the Stone of Scone abducted to Scotland (went to Witch Doctor), 1862 - largest mass hanging in US history (PS and visiting Americans) and the Feast Day of St James the Just (Swinger). Then there was the nice photo from the Observer of Godfather and Titty Galore that Snatch had had framed.
New shoes were found by Shoe Inspector Tallyho, so James and Morgan bravely drank from theirs. The shoes did not look like this:

The GM then started his awards by describing how a Hasher had gotten pissed off his nut on the weekend. This one went to Poumuli.

Opening up for nominations, Sassygirl BJ was quick off the mark with nominating Greenie for the Crime Award – coming to Hash with no Hash Cash. James nominated Tallyho for being a Wikipedia of Hash Lore, which he gratefully accepted in the spirit of passing on his vast knowledge to new Hashers. CB suggested that they should both take one, which was agreed. The GM then remembered he had asked the latecummer Sam to bring the BBQ, which it was not even though he has a truck replete with siren and flashing lights – Incompetence Award to Sam.

Poumuli nominated some of the young new runners who had brought a rugby ball along on the run – innocent bystanders may get the wrongful impression that we are some sort of sporting club! All the boys drank.

Kat nominated Poumuli for inviting people to a Christmas dinner then getting pissed and falling asleep before the food came. This was doubled as not all of Hash had been invited! Tallyho then ranted in about the weasel weak voices of the Front Running Bastards CB and Captain Mortein, and although close to an FBI award for himself, it was a most amusing rendition of the angry mad person living under a bridge. In the end all three took the Need Voice Lubrication Award.

Sassy nominated James for his academic achievement with a new doctorate, and while this should have backfired (Hashers should be notoriously lax in their academic adventures, at least if we look to the current crop as examples), James took it well.
Nelson nominated the entire group that he had come with for thinking they would not have any fun, and while the subsequent Haka wouldn’t have frightened a finch, they knew how to skull. Sassy also nominated Jaycey for getting the first part of her malu done. Snatch nominated Uncle Fred for butchering the Hash Song (he was actually being quite funny), and he was joined by Godfather. Uncle Fred then extended his usual standing invitation to the Hash to use the Foundation of Samoa, ACP, for future runs.

Sam nominated SOTB for mucking up arrangements for last week’s hash, so a First Time in History Award. Witch Doctor nominated Poumuli for abandoning her and Wahoo at another Christmas Party, but this time there were enough brain cells to counter with a “that was Hashmanlike behaviour”, which did the trick. Sam was caught with cellphonus interruptus, which was doubled as Sam had not gone home to his wife, instead partying with Jaycey. This one also included CB. Sam got the GM back for using his VERTS creds at night.

Tallyho then led the Hash in a most graphic rendition and performance of the Hash Anthem, before we saluted the hosts and the hares.
We have no venue set for next week as yet so watch the blog.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit