Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1472

This week’s has was hosted at HQ 1 – also known as On The Rocks – down on Beach Road in Apia. It was a live run with Dawn Raid as hare. He took us at a fast pace out by the sea wall and around the Government Building, across the sodding wet grass, across the lights to Vaea Street. At this point he was nearly caught by Will, but off they went across the fields into Mulivai. At this point the shortcutters were going across all sorts of fields, and the hare was trapped at a locked gate. Scrambling across this was clearly a hazard, and Swinger may have left his goolies behind on the spikes. Kamikaze made some interesting noises too. The hare set off again, with Will, Chris and others in pursuit. We went down Faatoia Road and turned down Ififi Street for the On-Home. A short sharp run in other words. Most of the pack made it back, but Tallyho went the long way home ostensibly to safeguard the family mules. At least that was what it sounded like.

At HQ1, POD took on the task of acting GM and quieted the brash hashers with sharp commands. New to hash were Brent from the US (climate change student) and Simon from NZ (vet student). The rethreads were Hannah, Dawn Raid and SOTB. No new shoes, so AC/DC began his long night. For not explaining the rules of hash, Hannah had a down-down for Simon – remember to take your hat off in the circle!

The GM wanted to award Swinger for the Sex Change of the Event, but in his absence awarded Poumuli for using the word goolies. Shortcutting Bastards Awards went to Tallyho, Slippery and Crash Bandicoot (straight to the bar again!). Celebrity Awards went to Sassygirl and Poumuli, with SOTB being added in for pretending to read Newsline. A joint Public Exposure and Perving Award went to Brent and Sassygirl, respectively. AC/DC was leaning so front and centre he went.

SOTB called for a Slavery Award for Crash Bandicoot, who had made him work all weekend. Snake provided the crucial information that they had been observed drinking beer all afternoon, so SOTB joined in the award – I mean what sort of slavery is that?

Ray Charles was observed smoking in the circle and was also awarded for wearing slacks to hash. Snake tried another fast one by seeking a Rethread Dishonesty Award for Mermaid (awarded) and POD (not!), so Snake got the False Accusation Award. Poumuli sought the GM’s ruling on hash rule 14(c) on the use of real names during the hash run. It was decided that this had only been applied to the hash circle, so Poumuli joined Will for a down-down. (Your assistant trainee scribe vividly remembers that Shafter had awarded someone for this breach of the rules, but nevermind. The hash blogs from past years is as blurry as my memory at that point.)
Sassygirl presented Slippery with a Predator Award for chatting up all the hash meres during the circle, and also Delicious for short-cutting. Ray Charles awarded Crash Bandicoot and AC/DC for something that escaped your assistant trainee scribe. The GM finished off the evening with the Hare’s award to Dawn Raid.

Next run will be Snake’s 1,000th hash, so expect a good one.

On On,


Monday, June 29, 2009

Hash Run 1472 - Mon 29 Jun 2009

Hash Run #1472 will be held downtown at Headquarters #1, also know as On the Rocks, a well known and frequented bar on the seafront.

This is a BYO Food run, so be sure to bring your own food and to man the BBQ if you wish to eat. Snake has volunteered to bring his BBQ for the troops.

Please be sure to thank Lewinski and Princess of Darkness (POD) for the last minute save.

On On!

Mr. Whippy.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Hash 1471 Photos Posted!

Slippery delivers another fine onslaught of photos. This mighty batch is from Crown of Thorns farewell run - Hash Run #1471 hosted by Seema and Crown of Thorns. Check-out Poumuli's fine Hash Trash for all the sordid details.

On On!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1471

The farewell to Crown of Thorns hash was hosted by Seema and Crown of Thorns. Swinger provided services as hare. The hash was treated to the nice rural surroundings of Siusega, although Swinger had chosen mostly roads. There were a few false trails, but since we had Tallyho visiting from Fiji these were quickly scouted, so that by the time the pack caught up to Tallyho we were on the right track. Michael was also very quick down the false trails – maybe there is something with long hair? Anyway, the trail took us down the Aleisa road almost to Tafaigata prison, but luckily Swinger steered us in a different direction than through its gates. At this point the pack was being accompanied by the scrawniest Island Retriever ever seen, and I suppose it’s a reflection on our fitness! Safely back at the house it was refreshing to dip and wash the filthy sweaty feet in the swimming pool. Godfather had arrived a little late, but was soon catching up to the pack and made it in on time.

Mr. Whippy again stood in as GM. Your assistant trainee scribe had apologized to Susanne for the errors in the last blog (she is Australian, not Canadian; she is a librarian, not a nurse; she had given blood, not organized the event; Poumuli was jetlagged, not drunken!). The GM invited any newcomers to hash to step forward – and there were plenty. There was Jackie from Australia who said she was likely to become an overstayer. Katherine, Sarah and Anna were visiting from NZ but would be leaving next week. Then there were Chris and Raniekia from the US Navy, who promised to bring more of their Navals to the next hash. Skankanavian must have felt her ears heating up, since she turned up shortly thereafter.

There were several rethreads – Tallyho from Fiji was in good spirits and sound level and will be with us for three weeks; MilkMe, Gabor, Seema, Double D, Delectable, Delicious, AC/DC and Slippery had been absent, but most of them had boring excuses not worth repeating. The others absence were quite justifiable as we all know.

The GM then allowed the first round of the special Crown of Thorns Awards. She first called on all hashmen over 40 to step forward and got Sassygirl to examine them for who had the least hair. Tallyho exclaimed that he had been dreaming about getting a headjob from Sassygirl for years, but it was of course Godfather who came up lucky. He was given a beer mug with Old Fart on it. Next COT called on single hashmen under 40 for the Skanky Award. Since Skankanavian had not shown up yet, COT had to do this test herself which was aimed at finding the best kisser (but no tongue, hands or other groping). MilkMe, FBI, SOTB and Chris were the candidates, and there was much shock and awe when SOTB received a mug with Stud on it.

The GM returned to his set of awards, with a Media Magnet Award to Sassygirl and an honourable mention for Poumuli. He then introduced the Duck of the Week Award (for walking like a duck, sounding like a duck and ducking the trail), which went to FBI. The Shortcut of the Week Award went to the hashers who had taken such an extreme shortcut as to avoid the trail all together and heading straight for the keg – Lewinsky, Brian and Crash Bandicoot. For moving the pack on a fast pace the Cattle Driver Award went to Tallyho, who complained at the lack of Hash Halts on the trail. The GM added to his Shortcutters list by awarding Delicious and Ray Charles.

We returned to the special COT Awards: Sassygirl got the Superbitch Award ( a cap), FBI got the FBI Award (an FBI cap, how thoughtful), Slippery got a large cup (not sure what that was), Lewinsky and POD the Seasickness Award, Crash Bandicoot got a Learner Drivers Award (a pink fur trimmed L-plate, which he promptly broke), AC/DC got the Borat Mankini Award (I pray that we never get to see him in that), Michael the Giant Comb, the Princess Award went to Delicious, while Poumuli had to accept a pacifier for Wahoo (something about cradle snatching).

The GM took over and brought forward four hashers he had spotted leaning, or I Can’t Help Myself Leaning Awards to Sassygirl, Susanne, Gabor and Ring Ring. New shoes were discovered, Slippery and Poumuli (mine were used, I swear!) had their shoes filled, while AC/DC slurped from his new jandals.

On to the nominations from the floor, and Lewinsky gave a Road Hazard Award to Dawn Raid, but in his absence this went to Poumuli (I am going to take away the keys). Sassygirl noted that one of our expert sailors had failed to get it up after capsizing, so SOTB got the Can’t Get It Up Award and conduct unbecoming a hashman. Brian recounted how another hashman had been having no such troubles, but that he appeared to be cloning German tourists for his, er, pleasure. AC/DC therefore got the New One Looks Like The Old One Award. The GM pointed out that its not nice to nominate absentees, so Lewinsky got the Lack of Etiquette Award for making Poumuli do a down-down.

SOTB nominated the three visiting Kiwis for the Fashion Award for their matching shoes. Michael nominated COT for a Discrimination Award for purporting that men over 40 can’t kiss. Sassygirl welcomed our first-time hasher Chris, noting that it was his birthday tomorrow and for bringing the ship in, so he took a down-down in Navy style.

FBI tried to dob in Kiwi for a Forgetful Award, claiming he had forgotten a hash mere’s name, but since he could’t remember it either they both had a down-down. Poumuli was reminded that SOTB had been using his garage for storage since December 2008, and the vote went against SOTB.

Those who had not had a down-down were called front and centre by the GM, namely Susanne (is it nice to call her Vampire, GM?) and Delicious, but the record shows that they had, so this must be one of those Just For The Hell Of It Awards. He completed the awards for the hosts and the hare – COT, Seema and Swinger.

Godfather made a moving farewell speech for COT in which he thanked her for all she had done for hash, her friendship, always hearing her voice loud and clear at all times, and that we will all miss her. The hashers then sang Goodbye My Feleni for COT, who was so moved to tears that she needed MilkMe as whipping boy. Godfather concluded by wishing he was younger and about hoping she would find a nice guy to take care of her.

Next week's run remains to be confirmed, but the week after will be Snake’s 1,000th run, so Snake and Fang will host.

On On,


Friday, June 19, 2009

Luana's Thank You

To Our Dear Hash Friends,

Just a short message to express our heartfelt thanks for all your support. The wreath was beautiful and your monetary contribution is greatly appreciated, but seeing so many of you both at the family service and at the funeral made our load a little bit lighter. We also want to thank all those who took the time to write messages of love and support on the Hash blog. We realize many of those messages are from hashers overseas who were not able to be here in person and we appreciate your love and support for us.

Luana’s sudden and tragic departure has turned our lives upside down as you all can imagine and we’re still struggling to come to terms with it. Please don’t be offended because we won’t be attending our Monday hash runs for a little while as we are desperately trying to get back on our feet and get on with life. We have always regarded the hash family as some of our best friends and up to now that is still the case. We will return because all the friends we have all attend Hash.

As the Ex-GM, I want to apologize for ending my term in office three weeks early. I’m certain the new GM who ever it will be will do an excellent job because Hash is full of very talented and over achiever runners. In the mean time please carry on with hash as usual and if you are in need of any help from myself, Karaoke, or Delicious, you have only to ask. God knows we owe each and every one at hash for their love and support.

With much love for you all, Eveready, Karaoke, Delicious, and the rest of the family. ON ON.

Click here to read Desirable's (Luana's) condolences and memories.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Hash Run 1471 - Mon 22 Jun 2009

Seema and Crown of Thorns will be hosting Hash Run #1471. This will be Crown of Thorns farewell run. So be sure to join us, run hard, wish Crown of Thorns a Manuia Malaga, and enjoy the evening. We haven't run in this area for ages. It's a great location with plenty of trails, road, and bush. It's getting dark early now, so get there on time. Siusega is about 10 minutes from town so plan accordingly.

Am posting a hybrid of SOTB's fine map and Seema's written instructions. They are looking forward to the run!

Starting at Tony Blair's flat:
"... Keep going straight on Tafaigata Road (you are basically heading in direction of Robert Louis Secondary School and the Landfill and Prison); you will come to a tarsealed road on the right (it sort of heads uphill). Carry on past this road and start looking for rubbish racks on the right hand side.

The second rubbish rack (there’s also a funny white concrete pillar thing next to the rack) marks my driveway. It’s a rough dirt track and the house is at the end on the left. If you miss this, you will come to another proper road – you can also get to the house from that road – gate will be open and marked but you need to park on the road. "

On On!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1470

The run was a live run hosted at the STA Fale by Sassygirl. The live hare was Swinger who was apparently caught on the run. Your assistant trainee scribe had only arrived straight from the airport and missed the run, but apparently it was a leisurely affair along the sea-wall.

Mr. Whippy stepped in as GM for the hash circle, and after checking that there were no new boots, turned on the re-threads. Dawn Raid, Kamikaze, Bits and Pieces, and Poumuli all had too lame excuses and were given large ones. The GM’s Exuberant Hashers Awards went to SOTB, Crash Bandicoot, Lewinsky and Underrated for post-hash activities at HQ1. A Hash Hero of the Week Award went to Michael who had apparently rescued a damsel in distress.

As he was looking for volunteers for the acting GM for the hash circle, Mr. Whippy was met with obstinate refusals, so the GM’s Draft Dodger Awards went to Poumuli, Snake and Underrated. The GM also awarded Female Driver Awards to Sassygirl, Ring Ring and Fang, simply because, er, they are female drivers. Kamikaze received the Flip Flop Award for consistently turning up in, er, flip flops. Snake received a Kamikaze Award for some reason.

In honour of those who show up early for hash even when the venue had changes, the Early Bird Award went to Emma and Will. The hash has many skilled yachtsmen, and the GM paid tribute to the Captain of the Week – Bits and Pieces. Walking Eagle quickly picked up the I Can’t Help Leaning Against This Table Award. Fashionably Late Awards went to Lewinsky, BB and Crash Bandicoot.

The GM opened for nominations, so Poumuli requested a Poumuli Road Award for Dawn Raid. This backfired into a Not Inviting Hash To Your Birthday Award for Poumuli. In quick succession Swinger got one for leaning, Ray Charles for having a new red car.

A Vampire Award was called for to our visiting Canadian Suzanne for organizing a blood donation day, which was doubled due to the media exposure and which went down at the usual speed of light.

Poumuli called on Sassygirl for her extensive tourism campaigning which has now extended to the branding of a Sassy Red Beer in NZ. SOTB called Crash Bandicoot for a Smelly Cup Award (not sure here, but don’t really want to know). Sassygirl awarded the Literacy Award to Ring Ring for not reading the blog. She also asked the rhetorical question – who brings cake to hash – which then was awarded to Suzanne. A Best Dressed Award was dreamed up by Lewinsky and handed to BB, Ray Charles and Heather (for a Little Red Riding Hood outfit). Sassygirl called for the Upholstery Award to be given to Lewinsky and Crash Bandicoot for the success of their new venture. On a roll, she pointed out that FBI had no down-downs and needed one, Snake and SOTB for letting a live hare go, and Swinger for hugging on the trail.

The host and the hare – Sassygirl and Swinger – took their customary awards, closely followed by a late Advertising call from Lewisnky aimed at SOTB. He was wearing a Guinness shirt (Tall, Dark and Handsome), and there was some dispute as to what was being conveyed here, but consensus ruled and SOTB was penitent. A further late call went on FBI for the Passionate Manu Samoa Award for his behaviour during the recent Samoa-NZ rugby game.

Next run will be hosted by Crown of Thorns and Seema at Seema’s place in Siusega, and not in Vaola as earlier stated.

On On.


Monday, June 15, 2009

Hash Run 1470 - Mon 15 Jun 2009

Dear All,

Due to the unavailability of Blue Lagoon and our bro Thorpedo due to the sad passing away of his brother, please be advised that the run will take place from the Samoa Tourism Fale at the back of the STA Information fale. This is a BYOF please. Kindly bring a banger or ten to share.

On On,


Sunday, June 14, 2009

Venue Change Coming

As per Sassygirls chat message, Hash will NOT be held at the Blue Lagoon Bar as previously announced. Will post map for new venue once we know more.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Hash 1467 Photos Posted!

Fearless Hash paparrazi agent Slippery shares another great batch of photos. These were taken from Run 1467 at Taumeasina hosted by Rebecca, Maddy, Heather and Michael. Check out both the photos and hash trash to see and learn more. On On!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Aleipata Run for Education

The annual Aleipata Run for Education is on Saturday, 18 July 2009. The event's conducted by the Tuputupu-A'e Education Trust. If you'd like to have a good run along some of the most beautiful beaches on Upolu for a great cause, this event makes a fine choice. Click on the images below to visit their web site for details. SassygirlBJ.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

More Love for Desirable

Friends and family from around the world are sharing their love for Desirable (Luana). As of this posting, we had more than (870) related visits to this site. During the course of these visits, friends and family posted more than (50) loving messages. New messages are being posted daily. Use the links below to check them out and post yours.

--- Share your condolences and memories ---
1. Click here and type in your message.
2. Select Comment as "Name/URL" and enter your name (leave the URL blank).
3. Click the "Post Comment" button.

Click here to read Desirable's (Luana's) condolences and memories.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1469

Many thanks to Underrated and X-Rated for the fantastic Hash run last night.

Your scribes are away, so you’re stuck with some random poorly written words from Mr. Whippy.

It was a beautiful day for a Hash run in Samoa. There were blue skies and just enough clouds to keep the temperature pleasant. Hashers began pouring in to Underrated and X-Rated’s home just before 5:30. Soon thereafter, Princess of Darkness sent the Hashers off for the run. The run went up Papase'ea Road, then across Papase'ea, around Alafua, and then on home to Lotopa. There were a few well designed falsies to keep the fast runners from getting too far ahead. Ring Ring’s son Buzz was tough. He stayed with the pack and did the whole run. All the runners finished and the sun set a few minutes later.

We had a good turn-out; about 30 Hashers or so. Godfather and Princess of Darkness (POD) had to leave early. Mr. Whippy was conscripted to serve as the GM for the night. POD was most thoughtful before she left, providing several names for down-downs :).

The Hash circle formed and the awards began. Crash Bandicoot was kindly manning the keg keeping the Hash mugs full. We kicked-off with three new boots. A couple visiting and a special guest, Desirable’s father Kevin from Australia. Unfortunately during their introduction, the couple said that James brought them to Hash. Then Snake said, “James, you should have a down-down for…” Of course, the GM immediately made both Swinger and Snake drink. And thus started the down-downs. Having witnessed the proper way to do a down-down, our new boots had down-downs of their own. Then the retreads came-up and had their down-downs: Crash Bandicoot, Popeye, Kiwi, Adam and a few others I can’t remember (too much beer). There were the usual weak excuses like “I live in Australia now”, “my wife won’t let me go”, etc.. There were no new shoes.

With that we started the GM’s awards. The few I can remember are: Cleanest Hashers Ever Award – Snake and Underrated, Female Driver Award – Ring Ring, Eco Disaster Award – Lewinski, Tuff Guy Award – Buzz, Media Slacker Award – SassygirlBJ, Slavedriver Award – BB, Indiana Jones Award – Swinger, Photos 2 Music Award – Son of the Bitch, I Can’t Stop Leaning on this Car Award – Adam.

Then the floor was opened-up for nominations. ‘Can’t remember them all. The GM got whacked for setting-up the Blog for Desirable, SOTB for helping BB on a Holiday, Snake for uh? Being Snake, Underrated, Crash, SassygirlBJ, Adam, and anyone else who looked thirsty :)

We closed the awards from the floor. And Kevin came up, said some kind heartfelt words thanking the Hash for all their help and support for Desirable and the family. Kevin then took a down-down for Desirable.

We did have a timeout or two where we discussed how we all missed Desirable and thanked Kevin for joining us and sharing his thoughts during this difficult time. SassygirlBJ thanked everyone for their contributions. Snake told us how Tony Blair and Selena were at the hospital every night for the family. There is no doubt that the Apia Hash House Harriers love Desirable and her family. We will all miss her dearly. Our hearts are with Karaoke, Eveready, Delicious, Kevin, and their family.

Click here to read Desirable's (Luana's) condolences and memories.

And finally, we finished the down-downs with the Hair and the Host, Underrated and X-Rated. Next week’s Hash will be hosted by SassygirlBJ and Torpedo at the Blue Lagoon (next to headquarters, On the Rocks). After that announcement, we closed the Hash circle.

X-Rated put on a great spread. There was plenty of yummy food and many Hashers went for seconds. Many, many thanks. The beer was cold, tasted great, and lasted well into the evening. Yes, it was a great Hash run.

On On!

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Hash Run 1469 - Mon 8 Jun 2009

This Monday's run will be hosted by Underrated and X-Rated at their home in Lotopa.

This is a great location, close to town, and always makes for a fun Hash run. As always, the standard Hash fee of $15 will be collected. An additional $5 for visitors (see How Hash Works for details).

Looking forward to see you there,

On On!

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Hash Notice

The Schedule for the Funeral of Desirable - Luana, will go as follows:

Thursday 4th June 2009
Family & Friends Service is at 6pm at the Family home in Lotopa. Purple is the theme as well as Mena Outfits so please wear something purple or a Mena outfit as these were her favorites.

Friday 5th June 2009
Final Farewell Service at 3pm at the Anglican Church at Malifa/Leififi followed by the burial at the family home in Lotopa.

Hash will also be doing a monetary collection from any hashers willing to contribute to this. Collection Points are Sassy's Office at the Samoa Visitors Fale, POD or Lewinsky at On the Rocks.

On On.

--- Share your condolences and memories ---
1. Click here and type in your message.
2. Select Comment as "Name/URL" and enter your name (leave the URL blank).
3. Click the "Post Comment" button.

Click here to read Desirable's (Luana's) condolences and memories.

Apia Hash Remembers Desirable

It is with great sadness that we report that Desirable (Luana) passed away last night, Wednesday 3 June, 2009. The severe injuries she sustained from Monday’s tragic auto accident were just too much.

Desirable is the loving daughter of Karaoke and Eveready, and the loving sister of Delicious. Desirable was a beautiful, cheerful young woman very dear to the members of the Apia Hash House Harriers. Our hearts are so heavy. We will all sorely miss her.

The GM, Eveready has asked that we post our condolences and memories here, so that they may be compiled by the family.

On On Desirable.

--- Share your condolences and memories ---
1. Click here and type in your message.
2. Select Comment as "Name/URL" and enter your name (leave the URL blank).
3. Click the "Post Comment" button.

Click here to read Desirable's (Luana's) condolences and memories.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Urgent Hash Meeting


AHHH will be having a meeting today at the Apia Yacht Club at 6pm. Appreciate your effort in coming down to this meeting.

If you could all please make an effort to be there. Apologies for the previous posting. Somehow it came up before it was originally posted.

Looking forward to seeing our Hasher's at the Yacht Club tonight. Apologies for the short notice.