Friday, January 29, 2016

Hash Run 1814

Talofa Hashers
This Monday's run on February 1 will be hosted by Faumuina and Karl at Palusami restaurant by the Marina. Palusami is located across the road from the Marina, with parking at the back. The hosts will cater the event. The theme for the run will be Caped Superheroes. So bring your 20 tala Hash Cash and enjoy a fun time.
If lost call Faumuina on 7575659.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Hash Trash 1813

The Hash was hosted by Jill and Alex in Vaivase, close to where we had run from Cunning Linguists. In an effort at redemption, CL had offered to co-hare with Alex, and redeem he did. Well up to a point. We ambled down the road from the house at a leisurely pace, with the marks being easy and regular. Then they became more sporadic, and the front runners were at a loss as to whether this was a false trail. However, eagle-eyed Nom Nom, no doubt firstly searching for dogs with the intent to nom-nom him, spotted a check circle down the road. Several followed him and did a check, and acquired “a” trail. A frantically waving CL called us back. We had found the trail, but from whence it emerged out of the bush. So following after CL we went down a bush track and some steep river slopes into a stream. It was heavily pebbled so running it was tricky, but at least it got us some shade. Because when we emerged back on the road and Nom Nom’s check, all semblance of cloud cover had simply vanished. And we now faced running uphill, albeit somewhat gently sloping, under an unrelenting sun. The combined effect of no wind or shade and a baking road made us look like we were already having a shower. A brave pack made it up and around Vaivase, before coming down to the rugby field and on home. Godfather’s trusty nuts had been chilled, and it was only heat exhaustion that prevented their earliest opening and suction.

POD was present as GM, and called the circle to order. There were none new to Hash, but we had many retreads – Karl, Offspring, Karaoke, Kat, Press Stud and Mona. Ring Ring was appointed Shoe Inspector and failed.

Celebrity Awards went to StrapOn for Mr Whippy (story in paper about kids learning to code), Godfather, Titty Galore and Lewinsky (on tv for the Parker fight) and Sassygirl BJ and Karaoke (for photos in the Observer).

This Day in History Awards went to Samantha (1788 – The British First Fleet, led by Arthur Phillip, sails into Port Jackson (Sydney Harbour) to establish Sydney, the first permanent European settlement on the continent. Commemorated as Australia Day.), StrapOn (1960 – Little Joe 1B, a Mercury spacecraft, lifts off from Wallops Island, Virginia with Miss Sam, a female rhesus monkey on board), Witch Doctor (1995 – The Norwegian rocket incident: Russia almost launches a nuclear attack after it mistakes Black Brant XII, a Norwegian research rocket, for a US Trident missile) and Lewinsky (1998 – Lewinsky scandal: On American television, U.S. President Bill Clinton denies having had "sexual relations" with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky).

Turning to the run, the GM decided that CL had indeed redeemed himself, and was given the Blissed Redemption Award for his efforts, and was assisted by Alex as she was wearing a most unhashmanlike shirt that stated that “Monday has been cancelled, go home”.

The GM also congratulated Faumina for running in Samoan workboots, or jandals, as well as for breaking three pairs of running shoes in a month. A What The Hell Were You Doing Award in other words.

Opening up for nominations, Poumuli nominated Shitbags for actually doing the run for the first time. Shitbags wanted to warn all the Hash Meres of a childbearing age of the Zika virus, and no sex for two years, but instead this earned him a Potential Cockblocking Award.

Poumuli also wanted to nominate Slim Shady for the Driving Like Dawn Raid Award, but this backfired when she claimed to not be drinking and nominated him as her Whipping Boy. Pirate Princess then nominated Mona for a Birthday Award and for “being her bitch for 12 years”.

Slim Shady nominated Jill for revealing that she had not been a rugby fan until she came to Samoa, while the GM called for a rep to do a Parker Award. All of a sudden she recalled that one of the Hash Meres had been extolling her kick-boxing skills in the gym, which were so formidable that she injured her hand punching the air. Karaoke got the Not Bruce Lee Award.

The Hares and the Hosts were saluted and we had a wonderful spread of pasta that included a rabbit option. Next week’s run will be hosted by Faumina, and it will be her last for a while. Watch the blog for details.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Monday, January 25, 2016

Hash Run 1813

Morning Hashers
This Monday's run will be hosted by Alex and Jill in Vaivase, close to where Cunning Linguist hosted two weeks ago. Run starts at 6 PM or 1800 hours, bring your 20 tala Hash Cash. Map is attached below. Note that it should be 25 Jan, not 24 Jan!

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Friday, January 15, 2016

Hash Run 1812

Talofa Hashers
The run on Monday the 18th of January will be hosted by Dawn Raid at his place in Vailima. Take the Cross Island Road up from town, and when you get to Le Manumea Hotel take the road exactly opposite the entrance to the left. The house is at the third gate on the left. Try and park on the road as the drive way is a short bitch.

Witch Doctor will hopefully cater. Bring your 20 tala Hash Cash, and the run will start at 1800 hours or 6 PM.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1811

The Hash was hosted by Cunning Linguist at his Babylonian abode in Vaivase. He had set the run Saturday with predictable effects viz confusion. The walkers had a leisurely stroll around the neighbourhood, while the runners were suitably stressed as the trail had been swept away in several places. Nevertheless they did get to have a sweat out in the afternoon warmth, and returned on home to the nuts and beer.

POD returned as GM, and asked for those new to Hash to come forward, and that was Phil, Jessica’s husband. The retreads were StrapOn, Jill, POD, Alex, Anita, Jessica, BB, Kristiane, Nom Nom, Lewinsky and Bacon & Eggs. Anita repeated due to costume error in the form of a hat.

Celebrity Awards went to Lewinsky and Godfather (Observer reporting on tourism promotion) and Captain Mortein for Slim Shady (story on what to do in Samoa, omitted mini-golf).

This Day in History Awards went to StrapOn as CLR for Gayboy (1787 – William Herschel discovers Titania and Oberon, two moons of Uranus) and Poumuli (tried to set up Lewinsky but had a crocodile on his shirt - 2015 – A mass poisoning at a funeral in Mozambique involves beer that was deliberately contaminated with crocodile bile leaving at least 56 dead and nearly 200 hospitalized).

Shoe Inspector Sunny Side Up found Nom Nom and Phil to be guilty, with Prince joining for his bedazzling shoe comment.

On the run, Cupless was given a down down for being of the opinion that it was organised well, Poumuli for thinking it had been set in Swahili, and Captain Mortein for finding the trail and not telling anyone.

On the blog issues, Bacon had emailed POD that there wasn’t a run after all, as Poumuli had posted the run on a Sunday (saying the run was today), but had corrected this on Monday morning with the correct directions. Both got the Internet Retard Award.

Nom Nom was nominated for trying to act all manly on the run, only to be beaten to the finish by a girl – Young Man You’re Too Girlie Girlie. BB nominated Godfather for Destruction of Private Property, joined by Crime for assisting and abetting a crime. We also had nominations for all the Hash Meres that didn’t accept the offer of stepping on Godfather’s knee – BB, Kristiane, POD and Samantha.

Poumuli nominated Bad Investment for causing a serious yet hilarious road accident on the run, walking on wrong side of road and stepping in front of a cyclist who did a perfect arse-over-tit spin.
Eveready reported that today was Deep Throat’s birthday and he had sent a special request that his buddy Lewinsky take a down down, which was supported by all present except one.

Poumuli nominated Bacon & Eggs for nearly breaking a leg on the run, thus requiring a Cockney Rhyming Slang Award. Poumuli also nominated Titty Galore for stating that she didn’t know why Godfather’s nuts were so small this week, to which Godfather replied its not the size but the flavour!
Cunning Linguist had initially requested that all wear shirts with a foreign language on it, but this had been lost in translation. Those who did have such shirts – Jessica, Poumuli, POD and Cunning Linguist were given the award.

StrapOn nominated Godfather for his Birthday Award joined by Wahoo on behalf of Yahoo. StrapOn was then nominated for leaning but countered that Bad Investment had been hanging! Poumuli offered an alternative Hash Song, which was easier to render without the ukulele:

The other night I dreamt a dream, a dream of woe and fear
I dreamt Vailima went on strike and there was no more beer
I dreamt of empty bottles, crates, coz everyone had quit
I know there’s Taula in the shop, but boy it tastes like sh…

BB nominated Godfather for running with an injury, but Poumuli pointed out that we are not a sporting club. The outcome of this one was not recorded.

The Hare and the Hosts – Alex, Cunning Linguist and Jill were saluted, and a feast of chilli was served.

Next week’s run will be hosted by Dawn Raid in Vailima.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1810

The Hash was hosted by Witch Doctor at the yet to be opened Nafanua Steakhouse. Crime was the Hare, and set a trail that went out to the back roads up to Apoula Heights. The initial thought had been to cut through to the Hospital road, but the dog problem there had worsened considerably since our last run there, so he demurred and took the trail back more or less the same way. A short run in the heat.

Slim Shady stepped in as GM and promised to be wonderful and enervating and if any disagreed, then tough titties. New to Hash was Samantha, brought by Prince, and here for 6 weeks. The retreads were AC/DC, Slim Shady, Cunning Linguist, Bad Investment and Mr Whippy.

A quick shoe inspection revealed that Samantha had new shoes, and this was handed to Prince, who found it utterly repulsive. He was joined by Poumuli for the crime of possession of a disgusting foot (a blue toe).

This Day in History Awards went to Titty Galore as CLR for Gayboy (1777 – American Revolutionary War: American forces under the command of George Washington repulsed a British attack at the Battle of the Assunpink Creek near Trenton, New Jersey), Samantha handed to Prince (1901 – The British colonies of New South Wales, Queensland, Victoria, South Australia, Tasmania, and Western Australia federate as the Commonwealth of Australia; Edmund Barton is appointed the first Prime Minister), AC/DC (1949 –Tokelau becomes part of New Zealand), Wahoo (1959 – Luna 1 becomes the first spacecraft to reach the vicinity of the Moon) and Godfather (1962 – Western Samoa achieves independence from New Zealand; its name is changed to the Independent State of Western Samoa).

Eveready had an additional History Award, in that it was Queen Elizabeth I’s birthday. She was regarded as a paragon of cleanliness, as she bathed every 3 months. Prince took this one on behalf of Rinse, yet to be found and named.

Celebrity Awards were initially off, as none had been found, but this was deemed the fault of Samoa Observer, thus Mr Whippy took one. Prince added that the journo present had gotten Prince and Rinse switched, and this time Samantha took a down down in Coke.

Opening up for nominations, Cunning Linguist told of a secret society of firewalkers, and that in the presence of such sturdy males two hashers had merely put a foot in and declined – Swinger and Bad Investment for the Pussy/Not Enough Calluses Award.

Poumuli nominated Dawn Raid for dangerous behaviour due to his flinging himself off his motorbike over a car, which Eveready dubbed the Evil Knievel Award. Poumuli also tried to nominate AC/DC for his activities during and after the Paris Hash, which rebounded as Poumuli had not attended the after-run Christmas Party.

The Host and Hare were saluted and lots of yummy food was consumed, if you like slow cooked burgers with all the trimmings.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Hash Run 1811

Apologies, but a correction to the previous post. Message from Cunning Linguist:

Malo ni Hashers

I’ve offered to host the Monday 11 Jan run from my place in Vaivase Uta, cohosted by Alex who lives just around the corner.

Map attached, hope to see you all by 6 pm.
A not-too-hard figure-of-8 trail has been set (half of that = loop for less energetic walkers/runners).

Food is pretty much organised but I have no idea about the drinks yet -  I hope the appropriate people will take action for your $20 hash cash!
I should be home from about 3 pm onwards.

ON ON, Cunning Linguist / iapiinapia (ph 729 4913)

Monday, January 04, 2016

Hash Run 1810

Today's run will be hosted by Witch Doctor at the Nafanua Restaurant on Beach Road right next to On The Rocks, This will be a catered event, so bring your hash cash of 20 tala. There is parking at the side of the building or at the cop shop. The theme will be BEACH as she has created a big sand box for the kids and adults acting as kids around the back,

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit