Friday, July 29, 2011

Hash Trash 1579

The Hash was hosted by Snake, Fang, Venom and Snakebite at the Snakepit #2 in Vaitele. The run had been set by Ring Ring which is always interesting. Out the gate, Hot Nuts and Poumuli led the way up the hill, which turned out to be the right way this time. Several checks had been placed and there was a great deal of back and forth that let the pack stick together for most of the time. While the run was strictly a road affair, there were numerous potential off-track routes that needed to be explored, for which CB was a useful tester. After much circuitous ambling about the backs of Vaitele, we came to a large cross roads, where unfortunately Ring Ring had set two false trails perilously conjoined. Hence a group spearheaded by Kamikaze simply ended up on the way home, while the rest, foolishly following CB had a much harsher end of run. But it was a nice day, not too hot and Godfather’s sweet nuts were beckoning.

SOTB was miraculously capable of standing up, so he called the Hash to order in a proper GM fashion. New to Apia Hash was Tiffany, Shelly’s daughter, who to Steakman’s distress was happily married. The Rethreads were Poumuli, Wahoo, Do Me Twice, Marc and Dave. Lewinsky immediately spotted the blaring new shoes on Wahoo, who un-reluctantly used them as a vessel. Need to stop buying her new boots!

On this day in history, in 864 King Charles the Bald of France ordered particular defensive measures against the marauding Vikings. Pirate Princes had obviously not taken such measures and took the award. It was also the day in 1579 when Sir Francis Drake landed in California and claimed the whole lot for Blighty, so a lone Yank had to be found in the shape of Fang. It was also the Feast Day of St James the Great, which Godfather obliged on behalf of Swinger.

Celebrity Awards went to Shelly (ad in paper), Ninja, Poumuli, Hot Nuts, CB, Zsa Zsa (by Chillindrina) for several photos in the Observer regarding the sustainable development meeting at Tanoa, and to Godfather for apparently being the focus of a Close to Home cartoon featuring short-short speedos.

A special celebrity award was given to Lewinsky for a) hosting a regional big-wig at On the Rocks, b) normally his guests are taken away by the cops, not brought there by the cops, and c) for the first time in history he turned the music down before the curfew!

The GM had noticed that one of the Hash Meres was acting a bit like a jolly happy bunny rabbit, and questioned Screamer as to why this was. A simple no comment sufficed. The GM had also arrived early, and finding a fellow Hasher who is normally accompanied by his wife, was informed that Eveready was here single so he could check out the women. But unfortunately Karaoke arrived after all. A special present in the form of a booby can cover was presented, which Eveready kept wearing under his shirt!

Captain Marc back from his va’a voyaging was welcomed back by the GM, and to celebrate had a down down with Captain Mortein – captains united indeed! Dumass introduced the Latecummers Tony, Diana and Mark who will be representing Samoa at the SPG in Noumea. The Keeper of the Hash Mugs was then questioned about their non-appearance, to which Lewinsky claimed to have been attacked by hooligans and robbed on the way to Hash. This was up there with my homework ate my dog.
Opening up for nominations, Princess of Darkness nominated Kamikaze for his imminent departure and for being the first Hasher to bring a suitcase to Hash. This dedication to Hash was deemed needing a large one, as Kamikaze was on his way to airport straight from Hash. Wouldn’t want to sit next to him on the plane! Hot Nuts joined him for a Sparking Confusion Award for trying to explain why the suitcase.
Sassygirl BJ nominated Steakman for the Early Bird Award for getting to Hash before everyone and then parking himself next to the keg – before the run! DMT nominated CB for his attempted airport pick-up in which he managed to break off his carkey in the petrol lock. Interrupting this flow, the GM nominated Horny Ho for the Pimping Award, for trying to set up a lady with a married man.

The Mad Hash Monk appeared out of nowhere, and called for a naughty Hash Mere, who was a bit of a hooker (in touch rugby, mind you) and an avid fisherwoman who plays with hooks and lures. From henceforth Shelly shall be known as HookerLua.(I noted that the GM has a different spelling for her - needs to be sorted)

Proboner was a latecummer again, and Captain Marc, in the French equivalent of an FBI speech, asked the Hash to send some good thoughts to the va’a crew – which the GM decided that Marc could do for us. The GM also called forth soon to be leaving Snake Family, with Snake taking a double for not checking that his offspring was capless during the award.

Poumuli presented some gifts he had picked up on his travels. Since Tiger Woody is less frequent, and Monica is blown even less frequently, he presented Lewinsky with an alternative On-On instrument, a whistle tastefully shaped like an organ. Lewinsky had POD blow it, but even she was complaining she couldn’t get her lips around it – oh dear. The GM who is known to undergo quite some stress, was given a special stress reliever squeeze to in the shape of a booby.

The Hare and the Hosts were then saluted in the traditional manner. There was also some discussion about the Father’s Day Run, which if it does turn out to be a public holiday will be organized at Tafatafa by Steakman.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Run 1580 - Huka Lua & Lenora @ Vaoala

Morning All,
Apologies for the late posting. There's been a change of host's for next weeks run. It was originally supposed to be with Mike & Renee at Y-Not Bar, but now, it will be hosted by Huka Lua & Lenora up at Huka Lua's (Shelly's) Home in Vaoala.

Head up the Cross Island Rd and turn off where you see the sign for Le Spa Le Lalelei just before the entrance to the Shrine of 3 Hearts. Head right down to the end of the driveway.

There will be a keg as usual and the hosts will be providing the food. Make sure to bring a change of clothes as it gets a bit chilly up there in the evenings.

See Map below for directions.

On On

Monday, July 25, 2011

Hash Trash 1578

Greetings all - another fine literary piece from Tallyho.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Know Your Fellow Hashmen and Meres
FRB - Front Running Bastards (eg,CB, Hotnuts, Seismic, Zsa Zsa, Pussysnatcher, and other such nose-in-air hashmen )
FWB - Front Walking Bastards, usually only found at the start of the run as the pack shambles off in search of paper, often gossiping hashmeres and tamaititis who only run 50 yards before getting puffed
MRB - Middle Running Bastards, solid hashmen all including Godfather, Swinger, Poumouli, Tallyho, Lewinsky, and hashmere Ring Ring as well as SOTB, Steakman, Kiwi and Crime (when they’re not SCBs)
BRB - Back Running Bastards, the Whippers-in of the BWBs, (Snake is usually the hashman here), and other mature hashman such as Orgy, EverReady, hashmeres SassyGirl and Karaoke on a good day)
BWB - Back Walking Bastards most of the hashmeres and the really old and decrepit hashmen
SCB - Short Cutting Bastards, e.g. Kiwi, Crime, Snake, when he isn’t a BRB, and Steakman when he can find another SCB who knows the trail
NRB - Non Running Bastards, aka Late Cumming Bastards usually found already lurking by the keg when the FRBs get back from the run, e.g. Crash & AC/DC.'

How long is a piece of string? How short is a short-bread biscuit? These are a just couple of the questions that have exercised the minds of the great philosophers for centuries. So here we were on Monday posed with a similar philosophical challenge by the hare SOTB; “when the FRBs get half way round the trail they should stop and call a hash-halt to let the BWBs catch-up”. So there we had a conundrum to exercise the collective minds of the assembled pack, well collectively the pack would be hard-pressed to make one single mind between them, as it shuffled, as ever, down the garden path into the unknown. So there was the question: the pack knew the start point for the run, and it knew the end point for the run, but the bit in the middle was hidden as if by Harry Potter’s cloak of invisibility. So how would the FRBs know when the half-way point of the had been reached; the philosophers of old might have argued that since we knew the start point and we knew the end point and they were at the same place then the half-way point must also be at this point of singularity.

Therefore the hash-halt should happen at the moment we started the run, and if this was half-way then we simply needed to turn round and we were back at the keg of the fluid of sustenance without actually going anywhere. But since the keg was still warm this was not really an option for the true hashman and the pack headed-off in search of paper. Several smart-arse FRBs led by Tallyho headed to the main road and checked up and down before the cry of on-back was called and the pack staggered-off through the bush at the back of the petrol station. Clearly this area is not often visited by such a motley assortment of specimens; some dressed as pirates and some dressed as vagrants – well Steakman was just dressed as himself. The dogs were in a frenzy, the tamaititi were wide-eyed in fear, running away with cries of “palagi palagi” no doubt remembering the age-old threat that if they misbehaved the palagi would come and take them away and sell them into slavery in Peru, and the local-lads actually stopped playing touch and volleyball in amazement at seeing the hash pack appearing from the bush. So it was finally out into Vaiusu Road and left up towards the sports complex. Up Vaiusu Road, up the road some more and up the road even more until about half-way up the FRBs led by ZsaZsa with relatively new hashmen Mike and Ben took a right, followed by Hotnuts, Tallyho, Seismic, Kamikaze and hashmere Lenora. As ever the FFRBs were nose-in-the-air arse-in-gear running headlong into oblivion and would have been half-way to Vaitele if Hotnuts had not been keeping his beady little eyes open and spotted a cunningly hidden on-back “X” of paper behind a container.

So back down to Vaiusu Road and up ever more until the Talimatau Road was reached by the Sepp-Blatter-Vote soccer pitches. It was here that the philosophical question of whether this might be “half-way” was debated. Some said yes, others notably Hotnuts said no, and that in his opinion “SOTB was a responsible hare and would have marked the hash-halt properly”. This statement was met with general derision, and about as true as saying that Steakman could be a Tom Cruise lookalike; Swinger just kept checking looking for paper, but the majority really couldn’t care a stuff, they were just thankful for a breather after a very long climb up the road. And so on-down towards the Vailoa Road where even Hotnuts agreed a hash-halt should be called and the remnants of the pack gradually came together. By this time the pack was spread out from Vailoa Road to somewhere in Vaiusu and only about a dozen or so hashmen and meres reached this HH. Having been a road-run almost all the way so far, would the hare at least show some initiative and take the pack through the reserve to see the old hydropower station that was sadly missed last week too. No clearly not, it was straight down Vailoa Road. And was that paper from EverReady and Karaoke’s run from last week, who knows?? Somewhere down the road there was a deviation to the left but by this time the pack was heading for the by-now cold keg and the scent of the fluid of sustenance drove them on home.

Know Your Hash Trail
Regular clumps or strands of hash-paper; you’re on the trail, stick with it, you can’t go wrong if you are on-paper unless you cum across:-
Circle of paper; this is a hash check, check for the true trail in all directions, this will be signified by the reappearance of regular paper, or if you find a
X (Crossed paper); you are on a False trail, check back to last sighting of paper or last hash check and search for the true trail
HH; indicates a Hash Halt, stop and wait till the BRB’s and BWB’s have caught up, unless they make no effort to run, in which case leave the bastards behind. However breaking Hash Halt before the on-on command is a dobbable offence
HP; this is a Hash Pause, don’t wait for the BWBs to catch-up, just spot them in the distance get going again, leave the bastards to find their own way
Paper stops, same as X you’re on a falsie, check back and search for the true trail
Paper scattered all over the trail; some little tamaititi has destroyed a check or X, use initiative, or give up and return to keg
No paper; you’re lost; head for the setting sun or the keg of the fluid of sustenance, whichever is closer
On On

SOTB as the hare, clearly reckoned that he couldn’t handle the responsibility for the trail and the circle so Hotnuts was summarily called to be Guest GM for the evening. To start there were no new footprints/virgin runners but a gaggle of failures were called or pushed forward to explain themselves: Snake had been in NZ feeding the chooks, Snake Bite & Venom had been at school, Kamikaze had been in the land of the rising sun, and Ben and Mike had been in Oz… watching rugby?? Kamikaze had been away so long that he forgot to remove his hat and so got another DD to remind him next time he holidays in Samoa. Venom had new shoes, Sassy and SOTB got a media award for the family being on TV and Swinger nobly stepped forward to take the media award for Godfather, who had appeared on the radio, but had pulled a fetlock and gone lame on the run. Good job he’s no longer in the FRB racing-stable but more of a stud-stallion otherwise he would have been dispatched to the knackers yard.
For this day in history Captain Mortein, as usual, found himself being called forward as the nearest living relative to a Bolshevik for the execution of the Czar in 1918, and Ben as a Swiss Cheese was the nearest thing the hash had to a Frog for Bastille Day. Sassy celebrated Ted Kennedy’s crash at Chappaquiddick in 1969 by having a crash herself during the week, and Steakman got the Nelson Mandela birthday award for probably being the oldest hashman, well at least he looks like the oldest hashman. This week in history Monica started work at the Clinton White House and Lewinsky was proud to do a swallow for her, although he was standing and she, by all accounts, was probably kneeling when doing hers.

It was the International Day of Justice but since ProBoner was still AWOL at this point her closer living rellie stepped forward, who else but Lewinsky, and like his namesake always happy to do a swallow in the cause. In the same vein, so to speak, Orgy celebrated the mapping of the syphilis genome in 1998, thereby making the cure easier and making orgies less risky for all hashmen. Poumouli had advised your scribe not to forget that it was St Arsenesis’ Day, where he finds these saints days I have no idea, they must have very strange religions in darkest Norway, and how TG came to get the DD for this has been smudged on the scribes notes. For this day in AHHH history, 15 years ago Akira set the run (791) in Vaoala where the hash saw a wonderful sunset over Savaii from the top of the hill above Moamoa; Kamikaze as Akira’s nearest living rellie stood in for the DD; ten years ago the hash had a run (1062) at Afiamalu and made its one-and-so-far-only run to radio/tv masts the top of Mt Fiamoe; the veterans of that run were Karaoke, EverReady, Tallyho, Fang and Snake.

With the smell of fresh DD in the nostrils the pack was now baying for more dobs: Mike and Ben were first-up for being the FRBs failing to spot the paper, they claimed they were under instruction from ZsaZsa who had already buggered-off so Tallyho gave an exhibition of how FRBs should be looking-looking as well as running-running. Mike and POD were next-up, or rather sat-down on the ice, for the ignominy of being Australians to be gloated over for the loss to the Manu. Some perverted hashman was quick to study the relative rates of ice-melt from Mike and POD rear ends on the bags of ice; Mike’s arse was clearly hotter than POD’s, but I suppose only Lewinsky could comment on the latter so we’ll move on. Lenora was awarded a special for the being the FRBitch, as she began to flag in the swallow Hotnuts was quick to grab the mug to finish the DD. Crime got a good Samaritan award for leading the lame Godfather back to the stable and Snake and Steakman got the SCB-of-the-week award. SqueakyClean and Stargasm appeared in something called the Attway publication; your Scribe is not sure what this is but must have something to do with hasmeres. Hotnuts took a DD for being GM but not wearing a hash shirt, and Toothfairy, Tina and SOTB took their’s for the hosting and hares, and also for being “best-dressed” as pirates. At this point a fresh-looking ProBoner appeared and took a DD for being selected for the SPG Judo team, so she must be a good defence counsel in more ways than one. The keg was now beginning to float so the delicious food was most welcome, and most enjoyable so many thanks to the hosts for a great spread.

Toodle Pip and On On

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Hash Run 1579 - Snake Family @ Snake Pit 2 in Vaitele

Morning All,

Next weeks run will be hosted by the Snake Family at the Snake Pit 2 at Vaitele (Senese School). We've done a few runs from here so you should all know the directions to the place. There is no theme for Monday but check back later on in case there is a change.

As usual, there will be a keg and food on Monday, so bring your Hash Cash and running shoes....There is also word that the hash Monk will be there on Monday...provided there are no ash clouds that will slow down the monks long journey.

Map is posted below for directions.

On On

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Hash Trash 1577

Ni hau from Shanghai. Below an excellent and amusing account from Tallyho.
On On Poumuli

If Cecil B De Mille had ever made a blockbuster movie about the Hash, a sort of Ben Hur without the chariots, I am sure the opening scene would have resembled Karaoke and EverReady’s garden on Monday evening. A motley throng of thousands of extras, ill-dressed in some sort of Maoist pink (more like poofter pink in CB’s case), milling about aimlessly as if waiting for a great leader to step forward, call them to order and to inspire them into some revolutionary action that would change the history of the world. And of course someone does step forward, not exactly Spartacus or Moses to lead the AHHH pack forward to glory, but AHHH has SOTB, our less-than-great-and-glorious GM: “Hashmen and meres”, he mumbled, “it’s set on paper, just wander down to the road and check it out from there”. And so the words that launched a thousand hash-feet on their way into the nether regions of Lotopa were not quite in the same league as King Henry before Agincourt or Churchill at the Battle of Britain, or even Peter Pan encouraging Wendy, Richard and Tinkerbell to fly, but it got the pack shuffling off down the driveway, more like Napoleon’s retreat from Moscow. Once on the Lotopa Road Tallyho checked left and everyone else turned right, guess who was right, not the one who went left. On down towards Lepea, past the beautiful and tidy Lepea Green and then left down over the bridge and into the dry bed of the Lepea stream. No wonder Lepea Green looks so neat and tidy, the villagers just throw all their rubbish into the stream-bed waiting for the rain to come and wash it away into Vaiusu Bay. What a mess; what about the Samoa Waste Management Policy, what about the Environment Policy; where are the guardians of the region’s environment those eco-warrior stalwarts of the South Pacific Recreation and Entertainment Programme, commonly known as SPREP?? At least one encouraging sign of enterprise was a couple of kids in the stream-bed sitting on a rock amongst all the rubbish with a small tray of cigarettes and lighters and what looked like bingo markers, soliciting for business from the hash-pack. Now if they had had an esky of cold beer they might have made a few sales. Anyway a kilometer of stumbling over dead nappies, dead dogs and empty eleni and corned beef cans brought the pack up onto a link road between Lotopa and Tulaele and out into Tulaele Road. Much to your scribe’s amazement SOTB was already there directing the pack across and into Vailoa Road, where even more amazingly Steakman was almost an FRB. I say “almost” because the real FRBs had done their usual arse-in-gear-nose-in-air caper and headed off into the dim distance with nary a call of “on-on” or checking of the false trails. By the time the Talimatau Road was reached the pack was spread out across every road in Lotopa, Tulaele, and Vailoa. Your scribe thinking that the hare might possibly have shown some initiative and taken the pack through the botanic reserve checked it out, but to no avail, it was left and left again and on home. As the pack neared home SCBs, BWBs and the generally lost could be seen returning to the fluid of substance from all points of compass as the sun set over Lotopa. Surely this run could not have been set by that upstanding hashman EverReady…. so who was really responsible …..

After allowing a suitable time for the pack to replace lost fluids the GM called the circle to order, and an impressive number of new footprints/hash virgins stepped or were thrust forward: Mike from HNL (brought by CB/Swinger); someone from WLG brought by Tickled/Seismic; Mike and Kane brought by Hotnuts and Nutcracker; Dori from AKL and Coney from US. If the scribe has misspelled your names it’s cos the lead in his pencil had gone soft and smudged his note book. Anyway welcome and hope you cum back again, especially you young (and not-so-young) meres.
Then we had a staka retreads and failures: Fang has been in Kiwiland being bitten by Snake; ZsaZsa had been trying to learn how to play in a band, Shelley, Dizzy, Lady Finger and Dry Nuts and a few others whose names also fell foul of the Scribe’s smudges.

After this we had few new boots too: SassyGirl. Molia, Lenora and Shelley, some expensive looking runners, and shiny white to... what sensible hashman ever buys new white shoes???

And then we could wait no longer to find out who was the hare….. step forward Crash…. Anyone surprised by this revelation…..???
Moving into the dobs the GM, much to everyone’s surprise (NOT) called up Captain Mortein and blamed him for the weekend’s riots, don’t ask me, I have no idea how the GM’s mind works, if indeed it does.

HornyHo was then dobbed for perving her (male) cousin’s nipples, or was it the male cousin perving HornyHo, or maybe it was female cousin…. Well you get the gist anyway
Screamer had another 24th (or was that 44th ) birthday and Lewinsky and ToothFairy were dobbed for wearing their wives’ pink T-shirts. Personally the Hash Scribe thought that Lewinsky was just a big-girls blouse anyway, his T-shirt would have been a tent on poor POD.

There followed a “kinky pornstar” dob from the GM to Godfather and TG, this seemed to take Godfather by surprise, although TG did look rather flushed….
Dumbarse was caught for dropping ginger hairs in everyone’s fluid of sustenance, and Hotnuts got dobbed by Mike, or was it the other way round. SassyGirl dobbed Mustang Sally and Seismic got one for not warning the hash before the earthquake on Sunday.
Captain Mortein was called forward by Spanky for allowing his daughter to wander round in knickers with holes, CaptainM blamed Pirate Princess who took the mug.
For this day in history Slippery took one for being the only Australian to celebrate the formation of federal Australia, EverReady was proud, sort of, to recognise the birth of the founder the Budweiser brewery, Captain Mortein celebrated (under much sufferance) being the nearest thing the hash has to a Swede to celebrate the anniversary of the Swedish navy’s victory over the Russian fleet in 1790, they hung-up their oars after that and became neutral so at least they went out on a win; Swinger stood up for King James III of Scotland who was born on this day in 1452 and Spanky, an inspired choice since her Dad was a doughnut vendor on some street corner in the states, took a big swallow for the inventor of the doughnut cutter in 1872. Yes the doughnut cutter it is a patented invention, who would believe it.
And finally on this day in history, ten years ago Wild Bill donated Monica to AHHH, unfortunately Kiwi and Monica were AWOL so this momentous event was celebrated by Lewinsky.

By this time the pack was getting into some serious dobbing, or score settling it seemed in some cases. But who could complain when the hash’s eco-warriors CB, Screamer, Pussysnatcher and Swinger were called forward in shame for failing to save the environment in the Lepea Stream.

Tallyho was dobbed for failing to spot any celebrities in the media, his defence that he didn’t work for SPREP and wasn’t able to spend all week reading the papers fell on stony ground; he was joined by Spanky, Snatch & Pussysnatcher who were all spotted in the foto of the 4 July party. Sassygirl was caught on Facebook admitting she had been unable to get herself up on Mt Vaea, and Hornyho had another dob for something to do with the GM’s nipples…. Don’t ask. Shelley was lauded as a welcome returner and she promised to cum again.

And finally (I think, at least that’s where the Scribe’s notes stop) EverReady and Karaoke stepped forward to loud acclamation from the assembled throng for a great evening as ever, including two kegs and delicious food, and a toast to absent friend and much missed hashmere Desirable, who was no doubt looking down with a smile from the great hash in the sky. For the rest of evening eating, drinking and music from AC/DC, Godfather and assorted other buskers and warblers held sway and another memorable Monday evening was had by AHHH.

On On - Tallyho

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Hash Run 1578 - Tooth Fairy, SOTB & Tina - Vailoa

Hello All,
Next weeks run is being hosted by Tooth Fairy, SOTB & Tina at Tooth Fairy's home in Vailoa. The hosts will be providing the food for the evening, so no need to bring anything. There will be a theme for the run, and it is "Pirates of the Caribbean" so don your coolest Pirate Gear and see you all there.

There will be a keg as usual and the run starts at 1730HRS. Please also make sure you bring your hash cash on Monday :)

See map for directions.

On On

Friday, July 08, 2011

Hash Trash 1576

God morgen Apia Hash from the mountains of Norway. Wahoo and I are enjoying our vacation and a good laugh at the Trash provided by Tallyho below. Enjoy

On On
Wahoo and Poumuli, IKA Slit

Our hare for tonight, Swinger, stood in his garden grinning like a Cheshire cat having just spent a month in Fiji attending various workshops, cocktail parties, creating large carbon footprints and ensuring that BB was being “taken care of”. No wonder he had solicited the assistance of various assistant hares for the evening, he must have been exhausted… After a short circle to tell the baying pack that it was out the gate turn right we were off. Hornithologist led way with another front-running mere and off they went right and right again towards Tafaigata. They quickly came to a halt as Hornithologist tried to decide whether the tangle of paper on the ground by the first EPC pole was a nest created by the Greater Spotted Hash Warbler or simply an “on-back”. As all good hashmen know “never follow a FRB hashmere” unless of course said hash mere is very nubile and wearing a pair of short-shorts. Thus following this sound advice Tallyho was already on his way on-paper up the Aleisa Road. CB, Hotnuts and various other assorted FRBs [that means Front Running Bastards – ed note] were soon way in front, noses in the air, arses in gear heading for Tanumapua. Fortunately some of the middle-running bastards were actually looking for paper and the true trail was down towards the Orator Hotel, left by the hotel gate and off the FRBs went again. Bugger-me these FRBs only go in straight lines and never see paper. It was Tallyho, a hashman with a good trail-sniffing nose, especially when his nose is leading the way into a bush, to find the trail off to the right. Under some dangerous head-high barbed wire, round a few corners and the pack was off towards Tafaigata on the back-road. Finally getting back onto the main road CB and the FRBs were off again not bothering to check any of the false trails down towards Vaitele. But some real hashmen and meres had to check them and Hotnuts, Lewinsky, Hornithologist were seen straggling back from the nether regions. For those who followed the paper, a long on home took the trail round the back of Swinger’s house and up then back from Siusega. A few misguided hashmen thought they could get in through Swinger’s back-passage but an encounter with Greenie’s pikininis, barbed wire fences, a white a stallion and a locked gate meant that these short-cutters ended up arriving back last.

In the absence of the GM and any other volunteers, Hotnuts was apparently elected as the guest GM for the evening. Much to everyone’s surprise there were no new footprints this week, but this was made-up for by a stack of retreads: Swinger had been servicing BB in Fiji; Hotrod had been somewhere; Very Busy had been very busy, as had been Nutcracker although it was not clear whether Nutcracker and Very Busy had been very busy together, and then there was CB who had been sailing somewhere.
AC/DC failed to finds any new shoes, but by general acclamation Screamer got a DD for her leather boots.

Swinger got the media award for something or other, and Orgy Georgy, Karaoke, Steakman and a few others got an SCB [short-cutting bastards, ed note] award for not following the trail round the back of Swinger’s estate.

For some reason many hash runs have recently had fancy dress themes, it’s a bit of a worry especially when some hash men seem to really like dressing-up, what’s wrong with wearing a regular hash shirt. Anyway DMT, Captain Mortein, Lewinsky, Very Busy, Hotrod and assorted others got dobbed for not dressing-up. On the other hand Screamer, Swinger, Wax, Hornithologist, and CB were all commended by the GM for looking like complete pillocks. Steakman also got a commendation but it’s so difficult to tell whether he is dressed-up or just dressed-normal, well normal for him anyway.

Being 4 July assorted Yankees were brought forth, including Orgy Georgy Senior and Junior and EverReady.
Screamer and Wax were dobbed by each other for something to do with watered down gin, that well known cause of mothers ruin, and both of these meres look pretty ruined already, watered down or not.

CB was dobbed for paddling backwards and going round in circles, AC/DC took the events in history for Samoa changing the dateline 110 years ago and now going back to the other side, captain Mortein is the only Dane to keep a slave in Pirate Princess after Denmark banned slavery on this day in 1848 and DMT was proud to take the Pamela Anderson and Gina Lolobridgida big boobs birthday award. In AHHH history Swinger stepped forward as Godfathers n-l-r to commemorate the thirteenth anniversary of AHHH 900th run on this day in 1998 held at Margeritas of blessed memory. Ring Ring thrust herself forward to commemorate setting the run exactly ten years ago when the hash was traumatized by the sight of Insecurity in a wrap-around tea-towel. It was a horrible sight then, just imagine how much worse it must be ten-years on, poor Ring Ring.

And almost finally it was farewell to Wax. With the 1600th coming up we need to practice our rendering of the hash anthem so this was a fitting occasion to start our practice. The rousing choruses of the Hash Anthem complete with actions wafted over Siusega,, but some of you bastards need to concentrate and shape-up. There’s not enough feeling being put into the actions. Anyway it’s on-on to Wax as she searches for her destiny in Kiwiland.

And so to the assorted hares; wax, Swinger and his mate Gretel with Wax. A good run, great kai and a fun evening as always.

On On

Hash Run 1577 - Karaoke, Eveready & Hot Rod - Theme: PINK!

Hello All,

Next week's run is being hosted by Karaoke, Eveready & Hot Rod at their home in Lotopa. This is going to be a hamburger run...or so Ive been told...

The theme for the day is PINK, so bring out your best Pink g-strings, shirts, pants, whatever you like..outfits and get ready for a fun run. There will be a prize for the best Pink'll find out on the day what the prize is!

Map is posted below for Directions, and make sure you pay your hash cash...only life members are exempt from paying :)

On On

Friday, July 01, 2011

Hash Run 1576 - Swingers House, Siusega

Talofa All...

Next week's run is being hosted by Wax, Josh, Seve and Swinger in Siusega at Swinger's pad. The hosts have kindly offered to provide the food so bring yourself, your drinking boots and running shoes.
This run will also be Wax's farewell run as she will be heading to take up farming? :p

The theme on Monday is "Brothers Grimm Merchanwald" (So in other words, dress up as your favorite fairly tale character)

There will be a keg on Monday too as well as softies and Godfathers "sweet nuts"...

Run starts 1730HRS and please bring your hash cash ($15 SAT)

See the map for directions
On On