Monday, November 25, 2013

Run 1699.69 - @ Talofa Inn, Saleufi with Witch Doctor

"Run 1600.75" - @ Talofa Inn

Tonight's run is being hosted by Witch Dr and she is graciously putting on the spread. In even better news, Imelda the Welder will be joining us this evening.
The run will be at the Talofa Inn - opposite Lucky Foodtown on the Ace Hardware side. Run starts @ 1800
On On

Monday, November 18, 2013

Run 1699.5

Morning Fellow Hashers - Tonight's run will be a BYO @ Crime's place just near Apia Park.  To spice things up a little bit, there will be a game of soccer, touch rugby or you can go and put yourself through the paces on the running track if you are feeling like blowing out the cobwebs from the weekend. Don't forget the new e-mail address for any mishaps  Remember your $20 and see you there by 1800 - ON ON

Monday, November 11, 2013

Email address for Apia HHH

Hey there fellow Hashers,
Due to the constant feats of stupidity that we seem to conduct on a daily basis, I thought it only pertinent that we have a way of documenting such acts as they occur.  I have just set up an email address which you can forward such acts of stupidity straight away.  Not only will this save you from forgetting what you just saw in the haze of tomorrow's hangover, it will ensure that we have got an entertaining and up to date circle which allows us to make sure that Lewinsky, Rufi, One Infection and Transporter don't get away with anything.  Put the address in your smart phones and let the good times begin!!

Run 1699 - Russell & Overstayer @ Vaigaga

Talofa lava Hashmen and Hash Meres - [Run commences @ 1800hrs ma'ai]

Today's run will be at Vaigaga, close to the home of the world class beer VAILIMA PURE! 
Head westward from Apia to Vaigaga and turn right just before the two storey building housing Cecilia Keil's Fashion House. There is also a signage saying Bayview Nursery and continue to the end of the driveway till you spot a lot of cars lol!!!

If you have driven past Vailima Breweries then you have gone too far! Call someone for help like on 7574250!!

Bring some change as the weather looks a bit dodgy today and we do not want any of you catching a cold before the big events!!

Bring your $20 as well! Overstayer and Russell will be laying on the kaikai!

And just to confuse you newbies further...herewith are the directions from Honourable Kevin Rudd:
Directions: heading out of town turn right off vaitele rd in Vaigaga at a small white sign which says 'bayview enterprises' (there is a chinese shop with a carpark leading back from the road on the corner).. about 100m along the rough dirt road is a compound on the right with a big green fence and small guardhouse with a green roof. Russ will have a good idea where to park cars. Russ and Kate's hosting house for bathroom etc is the first unit on the right through the gate, the circle will convene under our double garage right opposite (first unit on the left).


Sunday, November 10, 2013

Hash Trash 1698

Greetings from Warsaw, which is cold and shitty, but your Scribe will test the Hash here. The Hash was hosted by Lewinsky at On the Rocks, since Witch Doctor had to postpone. It was a live hare run, with Tallyho leading the pack on over to Vaimea, through to Crabbers and through the mangroves, on back from Mulinuu, in an eventful run that your Scribe had to miss due to going to the airport. The GM was absent so POD stepped in. 

There was a newbie, Cathrine, who had been brought by Godfather. The rethreads were many, Skunk, Sassygirl BJ, Lowrider, Ozzy Osbourne and Da Head. Twin Peaks was appointed Shoe Inspector, at which he failed badly so he took the award himself.

Celebrity Awards went to Crime ( a crime had been committed) and Poumuli (news story about pole being removed from Poumuli Street).

This Day in History Awards went to Rufie (1847 – Sir James Young Simpson, a British physician, discovers the anaesthetic properties of chloroform), Granny Smith for Sexpot who is closest living to Zsa Zsa (1956 – Soviet troops enter Hungary to end the Hungarian revolution against the Soviet Union, that started on October 23. Thousands are killed, more are wounded, and nearly a quarter million leave the country) and Tallyho (Guy Fawkes Night).

The GM in her mild manner turned on Rufie, whilst Lewinsky provided the photo evidence of a baby bath being used as a beer cooler while Blowfish was away. Attempts at blaming Blowfish for putting there failed in avoiding a Parent of the Week Award.

Transporter was awarded for not living up to Hashname for leaving Lowrider stranded on the sea wall. In a bizarre story, Goldfinger had broken a hand while delivering a baby, and was joined by One Infection for reasons known only to the GM.

Opening up for nominations, Poumuli quickly nominated Lewinsky for not being in this day in history (he isn’t most weeks, but nevermind). Sassy nominated Witch Doctor for not informing Hashers individually of the change of venue, but was voted to join her when the rationale was explained. Granny Smith then nominated Da Head for something the rest of us couldn’t hear.

Lewinsky, in a déjà vu story, wanted to nominate Rufie for the worst gaff ever, as he had basically gaffed the caught fish off the lure. Methinks we have heard something like this before. Anyway, the vote went for both of them to take this award.
Da Head had received a call on the weekend from a fellow hasher begging him to pick up his wife for him at the airport. When Da Head demurred, he was informed, “and she is horny”. Wife Selling Award to Rufie. Transporter then had a brain fart and wanted to tell a story about Lewinsky and Elle McJr, but thought the better of it and remained silent. The Mutually Assured Destruction Award went to Transporter.

Sassy launched into a lecture about the cyclone season and the fact that On the Rocks was not secure, but Da Head took this one. Latecummer Seismic was greeted into the circle, upon which Poumuli opined that he was wearing the shirt of Sam, so he joined him in the award for Ethnic Profiling.
One Infection told a tale of a wild drunken party at On The Rocks, followed by more drinking at an office after party, at which Da Head had confessed his crush on One’s sister. This was then followed up by Da Head with said sister, with the expectant party watching the proceedings on the security camera, in which Da Head proclaims that they should just be friends. BFF Award.

Sassy gave a Solidarity Award to Titty Galore, Ozzy, Catherine, Skunk and Crime for not getting an award. Seismic got the Triathlon Achievement Award, while Tallyho brought forth the Hash Shrine. This time he added something from the Tafatafa run, and toodled off.

Check the blog for next week’s run.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Monday, November 04, 2013


Hey everyone, Witchdoctor has got some amazing news and Imelda is coming home this afternoon!!!
Subsequently given their need to get home and sorted, we will now change the venue to OTR.  It will have to be a BYO run and I hope that we can get a volunteer live hare!!  On On JG

Friday, November 01, 2013

Hash Run 1698

The Hash will be hosted by Witch Doctor at the Talofa Inn in Apia. It is located just opposite Lucky's Foodtown, and the entrance is just before Ace Hardware when travelling from the Clock Tower past McDonalds.
The run will start at 6 PM, bring your 20 tala Hash Cash, and the host will put on the spread.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1697

The Hash was hosted by Poumuli, Wahoo, Amalia and Witch Doctor at the new residence off Bank Street. After a lot of useless round about driving the Hash finally found their way to the place. Some people cant read! Poumuli had had a mishap in setting the trail, nearly de-butting himself, so the best laid plan remained unlaid. Instead the pack was sent off on the familiar route down Bank Street, cow pastures, over the ford, past SPREP and up the Cross Island Road. The sweaty pack was welcomed by Godfather's sweet nuts which for some reason have become rather small.

Julia Gillard was present as GM and called the circle to order. There were no newbies so we went straight to rethreads - these were Houdini, Overstayer, Twin Peaks, Zsa Zsa and Hunter. Godfather was asked to do the shoe inspection and was mesmerized by Lewinsky's glimmering shoes. For the first time in living memory Lewinsky skulled quite quick, so we should change his vessel of choice in the future.
Launching into his awards, the GM asked One Infection to elaborate (which indeed he did) on aspects of the Hash Wedding. To cut a long story short (which he didnt) Ali bin Shaggin asked for advice on how to explain his hashname (unofficial) to his wife by two of the drunkest, loutish, incoherent Hashers available, yet the honeymoon was a success. So for Dear Judy Advice Award Godfather, One Infection got a down down. Transporter quickly nominated Ali for making his wife drink the award. Ali by the way was the team doctor for the visiting Norway cricket team, made up entirely of Pakistanis.

The GM then turned on Rufie, as is his wont, and asked about the whereabouts of Blowfish and the rather odious odour emanating from his vehicle. A Dr Crippen Award to the Remain Silent Rufie.

We all know that the GM has a day job, selling crap vehicles to unsuspecting passer-bys, and he had received a call from one such frantic hasher, asking why his car was making a weird sound and what was the red light about. Take The F'ing Handbrake Off Award to Sexpot.

Latecummers Cougar, Crash and Dumas were welcomed. Another tawdry tale was then recounted whereby the GM had been celebrating Mrs GM's birthday and a lot of visiting ladies of a mature age - cougars - had been entertained by the prancing dance moves of Prince, even in front of his own brother in laws. Overstayer tried to add to the award but stuffed it up.

Further decline of the Hash circle was then confirmed when Desperate Housewife was asked to yodel, and she did. Also at this party Lewinsky had been too drunk to drive, so he took one for making POD drive.

Celebrity Awards went to the GM, DH, Sexpot, Tallyho and Poumuli. The ex-GM had sent over some quaint Australian car stickers. Suffice it to say, Drinking Legend went to Rufie, Blowjob to Sassy, Amateur Gynecologist to One Infection and Penis Control to Lewinsky, albeit that POD should really have that one.

Poumuli nominated the GM for the Asinine Advertising Award, then Ali gave a lengthy speech basically saying he is inviting all the Hashers to his next wedding in Paris.One Infection tried to use his new OB/GYN sign to check if there was a baby yet, so eventually we had a group dd of Ali, Godfather, Dumas and Petesa.

Cougar got Lewinsky for stopping by and after smelling food cooking staying on to feed, One Infection and Lewinsky for the menu at On the Rocks.

Sexpot is leaving us, so we were about to salute him when Dumas added a super-dad to it in a hilarious repartee that cannot be put into words.

This Day In History Awards went to One Infection (1689 – General Piccolomini of Austria burned down Skopje to prevent the spread of cholera. He died of cholera himself soon after, one helluva infection), Gayboy's closest living relative Transporter 91851 – William Lassell, discovers the moons orbiting Uranus), Tallyho (1857 – Sheffield F.C., the world's oldest association football club still in operation, is founded in Sheffield, England. World’s oldest fan – Tallyho as world's oldest fan), Witch Doctor (1905 – Norway becomes independent from Sweden), Granny Smith (1984 – "Baby Fae" receives a heart transplant from a baboon) and Lewinsky (Hillary Clinton birthday).

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit