Friday, November 01, 2013

Hash Trash 1697

The Hash was hosted by Poumuli, Wahoo, Amalia and Witch Doctor at the new residence off Bank Street. After a lot of useless round about driving the Hash finally found their way to the place. Some people cant read! Poumuli had had a mishap in setting the trail, nearly de-butting himself, so the best laid plan remained unlaid. Instead the pack was sent off on the familiar route down Bank Street, cow pastures, over the ford, past SPREP and up the Cross Island Road. The sweaty pack was welcomed by Godfather's sweet nuts which for some reason have become rather small.

Julia Gillard was present as GM and called the circle to order. There were no newbies so we went straight to rethreads - these were Houdini, Overstayer, Twin Peaks, Zsa Zsa and Hunter. Godfather was asked to do the shoe inspection and was mesmerized by Lewinsky's glimmering shoes. For the first time in living memory Lewinsky skulled quite quick, so we should change his vessel of choice in the future.
Launching into his awards, the GM asked One Infection to elaborate (which indeed he did) on aspects of the Hash Wedding. To cut a long story short (which he didnt) Ali bin Shaggin asked for advice on how to explain his hashname (unofficial) to his wife by two of the drunkest, loutish, incoherent Hashers available, yet the honeymoon was a success. So for Dear Judy Advice Award Godfather, One Infection got a down down. Transporter quickly nominated Ali for making his wife drink the award. Ali by the way was the team doctor for the visiting Norway cricket team, made up entirely of Pakistanis.

The GM then turned on Rufie, as is his wont, and asked about the whereabouts of Blowfish and the rather odious odour emanating from his vehicle. A Dr Crippen Award to the Remain Silent Rufie.

We all know that the GM has a day job, selling crap vehicles to unsuspecting passer-bys, and he had received a call from one such frantic hasher, asking why his car was making a weird sound and what was the red light about. Take The F'ing Handbrake Off Award to Sexpot.

Latecummers Cougar, Crash and Dumas were welcomed. Another tawdry tale was then recounted whereby the GM had been celebrating Mrs GM's birthday and a lot of visiting ladies of a mature age - cougars - had been entertained by the prancing dance moves of Prince, even in front of his own brother in laws. Overstayer tried to add to the award but stuffed it up.

Further decline of the Hash circle was then confirmed when Desperate Housewife was asked to yodel, and she did. Also at this party Lewinsky had been too drunk to drive, so he took one for making POD drive.

Celebrity Awards went to the GM, DH, Sexpot, Tallyho and Poumuli. The ex-GM had sent over some quaint Australian car stickers. Suffice it to say, Drinking Legend went to Rufie, Blowjob to Sassy, Amateur Gynecologist to One Infection and Penis Control to Lewinsky, albeit that POD should really have that one.

Poumuli nominated the GM for the Asinine Advertising Award, then Ali gave a lengthy speech basically saying he is inviting all the Hashers to his next wedding in Paris.One Infection tried to use his new OB/GYN sign to check if there was a baby yet, so eventually we had a group dd of Ali, Godfather, Dumas and Petesa.

Cougar got Lewinsky for stopping by and after smelling food cooking staying on to feed, One Infection and Lewinsky for the menu at On the Rocks.

Sexpot is leaving us, so we were about to salute him when Dumas added a super-dad to it in a hilarious repartee that cannot be put into words.

This Day In History Awards went to One Infection (1689 – General Piccolomini of Austria burned down Skopje to prevent the spread of cholera. He died of cholera himself soon after, one helluva infection), Gayboy's closest living relative Transporter 91851 – William Lassell, discovers the moons orbiting Uranus), Tallyho (1857 – Sheffield F.C., the world's oldest association football club still in operation, is founded in Sheffield, England. World’s oldest fan – Tallyho as world's oldest fan), Witch Doctor (1905 – Norway becomes independent from Sweden), Granny Smith (1984 – "Baby Fae" receives a heart transplant from a baboon) and Lewinsky (Hillary Clinton birthday).

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

No comments:

Post a Comment