Thursday, February 25, 2010

Hash Run 1508 - Poumuli & Wahoo @ Vaoala (1st March 2010)

Next weeks run will be hosted by Poumuli and Wahoo up at Poumuli's home at Vaoala. Poumuli has offered to prepare the food too so just turn up with your hash cash and a change of clothes in case it rains. Hash will provide the Drinks and get ready for a mountain run!

Map is posted below for Directions.

On On

Message from Godfather

Talofa ALL,

Well done to Mismanagement and everyone involved with organizing the Celebration. A great effort, Malo lava!

So very proud of you all especially of the Acting GM (EverReady) for his stewardship through the evening with his able assistants and the Hash Meres for their wonderful items. The Hash Men were true to form in up-holding Hash Tradition - disorganized, uncoordinated, impromptu, last minute stuff and still wondering why Women are taking over the world.

Alofa tele atu/With much love and affection,


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Hash Trash 1500th Run

Hash Trash 1500

What a momentous occasion we had all been awaiting, now finally the day had come. Massive preparations by Mismanagement and many volunteer Hashers was finally going to be put to the test. And your Scribe for one was mightily impressed with how the Hash Family pulled together to make this event a memorable one. We were graciously hosted by Uncle Tupua Fred Wetzell at Apia Concrete Products – the Foundation of Samoa – in Vaitele. Kiwi had set the run on flour, and although he said it would be a short one, our collective memories of Kiwi-set runs made most of us wary. The Pack was led out of the gates in Vaitele-Tai by Poumuli, Swinger and Schannell, in sunshine and few clouds. Schannell quickly drew ahead so far that he did not hear the “R U?” calls, and thinking since we were all following that it was alright. This nonsense was quickly realized and we turned back after about a km in the wrong direction, up the road between Vailima and Yazaki, where a tricky falsie had been laid. Hot Nuts was on a roll, but drew the wrong straw, but it kept the Pack together for large sections of the run. After another falsie, where Swinger was seen to ask some local boys which way Kiwi had run (should’ve been an award) and Pussysnatcher was far up the wrong way (sounds more exciting than it was), the trail was relocated and off we ran into some plantation land, followed by dirt roads and down to the Airport Road, on home to ACP. The Hashers helped themselves to Godfather’s sweet nuts and the keg was already flowing, due to large numbers of non-runners, but we had three kegs so it worked out.

Eveready stepped in as acting GM, rather bizarrely attired in a cross between Angus Young and the Village People, but one doesn’t criticize the GM. He welcomed us to this very special run on this fine day, and that while the moon would soon be out there was no need to go bananas, and no speeding out of ACP where there was a strict 5 mph speed limit. He spoke too soon.

The GM welcomed all the newcomers to Hash, and there were many. There was Sean from Oz (here for TIDES, but really a journalist of some renown), Michael from Brisbane, Neil from Suva (working for IFC), Andy from somewhere unpronounceable/uncommunicable in Oz, Lisa (a 4 year resident of Samoa!!!), Roscoe from Pago and Captain George (30 year resident in Samoa). There was also Cash Powell (a guest of MilkMe), Hungry John from Washington DC, Zsa Zsa Sr from Hungary with his wife (well trained in Hash etiquette!) and Laura from DC as well (here with Swinger at CI). A very modest introduction from Caroline, who said she worked for the New Zealand High Commission. Our special guests from Nuanua le Alofa were also welcomed. All in all, our headcounter of the day, Pussysnatcher tallied up 110 people. (Note – we should do a runs statistics page for the blog.)

Godfather requested and was given the floor to speak a bit about Hashistory in Samoa, and to extend his personal welcome and thanks to all, and that he was delighted with the turnout. He was humbled by the presence of so many, especially old friends, and friends who have said they would join Hash for years. It was fitting that this momentous occasion could be held at Uncle Fred’s, who was cheered by the Hash. 29 years ago the first run was held and there were only about 6 runners! These included John Arkindale (the Founder), John Milne, Godfather, Godmother and a couple of others. The first run was held at Malifa, the second at Vailima and the third on Godfather’s plantation. Unfortunately all the old records have been lost, as we can see from the blog. After some technical assistance from Caroline, Godfather read out an email from John Arkindale, congratulating the Apia Hash (full text will be provided later). According to Godfather’s calculations, the Apia Hash has now run more than 6000 km, and in terms of beer consumed at least 60,000 litres of Vailima – or 29 truck loads. Out of that he was sure that SOTB and AC/DC could account for one truck load between themselves. Godfather noted how Hash has developed a life and a soul of its own, and it is heartening that we were able to give back to the community with the donation to Nuanua le Alofa tonight. He thanked all those who have worked so hard to keep Hash alive, particularly Snake and Shafter during some difficult times, but the group has rallied and now includes many more local runners than expats and temporary residents. All who run on Mondays appreciate the friendship and camaraderie, and many marriages have started through Hash, as well as many a child conceived. Godfather also recounted some of the reasons behind the particular Hash names. For example Sassygirl had been a bit of a Hash bitch, hence her son had to be named SOTB, Son Of The Bitch. But Sassygirl also has a second name, received during a run hosting several Niueans at Vavau, when she had passed out from the heat (and pre-run Vailimas). When Godfather found her he saw that Kiwi was trying to resuscitate her, but not in the usual mouth-to-mouth CPR. He was instead using a traditional Samoan technique for awakening stunned birds and was busily blowing into her behind – hence the additional Hash name of Blowjob or BJ. Snake on the other hand had been lost in the Apolima heights and returned with a snake around his neck, which then cascaded into the names of Fang, Snakebite and Venom. Crime got his name for serving time at Tafaigata (your Scribe has heard a different version), while Long Dong fathered 13 children. After all this history, Godfather got a compulsory down-down.

The GM saluted our three life time Hash Members, with over 800 runs under their belts, namely Godfather, Snake and Kiwi. Snake proposed a toast to absent friends, in particular Godmother, Desirable and Shafter. Godfather made the special presentation of the Hash donation to Nuanua le Alofa of 1500 tala, which was immediately matched by Uncle Fred and the Foundation of Samoa, to wild cheers from the Hash. The representative from Nuanua le Alofa thanked the Hash warmly and said it was an honor to accept on behalf of his group, which was set up in 2001, and congratulated all the runners and wished them a fun night.

Since at most such momentous events the national anthems are usually sung, the GM commanded Karaoke, Sassygirl, Ring Ring, Screamer, Wahoo and Mele to lead the Hash in the Hash National Anthem – Swing Low Sweet Chariot – replete with hand gestures as inappropriate.

Back to the normal programme, the GM called forth the Rethreads – they were Sid the Tall Maori, MilkMe, Dizzy, Underrated, Flash Gordon, Emmy, Walking Eagle, Einstein, Hobbes, Lara, Long Dong, Rottweiler, Chook, Soprano and a few more that your Scribe missed because of the noise levels. The shoe inspection was carried out by AC/DC and Sid was found guilty, although there should have been more. In a special GM award, it was reported that a lot of Hash Meres had complained about the conduct of a certain Hasher, preventing them access to a floating esky of Vailima. Drowning out his protests (there were cries of “whining bitch”), the GM gave him what can best be described as a head nipple or giant condom, as well as a large down-down. The GM also had an award for a Hasher who he had spotted on Queen Street in Auckland, and who required a tap on his shoulder by Karaoke to recognize them, so Swinger got the Bird Watching Award. Really getting into it now, the GM reported that a Hash Mere had turned up at a party with 6 condoms, and left the party with 3 on the table. While Screamer claimed this was a lie and that all 6 were left behind, she had to get the Leaving Up To Hash Name Award, and it was a big one that took forever, making the GM mutter that she can use condoms but cannot drink!

The GM had asked one of the Hashers why he hadn’t gone on the run, to which Brazilian Wax said he had a sore on his toe. But this was invisible to the GM, so Brazilian go the Imaginary Injury Award. Celebrity Awards were given to Godfather, Sassygirl and SOTB for numerous appearances in the Observer. (shame Mighty Mouse didn’t come, as we had 5 entries for her). Snake awarded the Joker Award to Chilindrina, but only because it matched her outfit, and she was somehow joined by Hobbes in the down-down. Sassygirl didn’t have her Hash Monkette outfit on, as she was only going to give one name that night. Recounting how Hash names had to arise from doing lots of stupid things, she made the stripped down Schannell kneel on the ice cubes while she recounted his behavior when competing for girls attention, as well as when anyone was remotely interested in any girl in his vicinity. Arise, Cockblocker, but only after a lot of pelting had been done by sundry Hash Meres. While the Hash Meres got ready to perform, Uncle Fred called for a Slacker Award to Austin for obviously shortcutting the run.

The Hash Mere group – the Jelly Bellies – performed a beautiful dance number, albeit with some varying coordination, it was a done with great intensity and got better as the stage fright wore off. The Hash Men led by AC/DC did a number more or less made up on the spot by AC/DC, culminating in a Michael Jackson crotch grab. They were too jolly to get anyone but FBI to be a fa’fafine taupo, assisted by Pussysnatcher. The GM reintroduced the Jelly Bellies who did their final number – a song dedicated to the beautiful woman Vahine, accompanied by flower petals thrown and smiles throughout. They were wildly cheered, and congratulated by the GM for their hours of practice. A big thanks to Mismanagement for their efforts and down-downs for Sassygirl. SOTB, Snake, BB, Crash and Kiwi as the Hare.

One visitor from Pago had escaped the circle, but was introduced as Wacko, and he had in fact run the 24th Hash in Apia. He had also arrange to host the Apia Hash in Pago, and had shown them some more seedy sides of the town, culminating in Godfather doing the lambada with someone named Dirty Dora, so he joined Wacko in the down-down.

Uncle Fred was thanked and two Hash commemorative t-shirts were handed to him. After telling us to get our glasses charged, he welcomed the Hash to the Foundation of Samoa, that this was the Hashers home, and thanked the Hash for the great honor. He asked that all the Hash brothers and sisters take a moment of silence in tribute to a great lady – Godmother – before offering the toast. We were then treated to live music and dancing, and a whole heaping load of food.

On On


Friday, February 19, 2010

Hash 1500th Run- ACP Vaitele 22nd Feb 2010

Yes, AHHH, its that time...the 1500th Run is here and its time to celebrate!

Our 1500th Run will be held at the Apia Concrete Products (ACP) Compound at Vaitele. Uncle Fred has kindly offered the property for us to use to celebrate this amazing day. Thanks again Uncle Fred and the family at ACP!

The Theme for the night will be formal wear. Since there was a tie in the Poll for a theme, we will have dual themes on the night. You will need to wear your official hash attire for the run and then change into your formal wear after the run when the real celebrating and partying starts!!!

There will be a live music on the night, lots of food, lots to drink so be ready to party.

Hash will also be making a donation to the Nuanua le Alofa. As is the norm with hash, we like to give back to charity organizations and Miss Management has chosen Nuanua le Alofa as the recipient of our Donation this year.

Run starts normal time at 1730Hrs so please try and be on time as it will be an interesting run which Kiwi has offered to set.

Check the Map below for directions.

See you all then

Thursday, February 18, 2010

1500th Warm Up Weekend @ TafaTafa

The pre 1500th Warm up weekend will be at TafaTafa Beach on the South Coast.
Hash will be providing the beers for the weekend but feel free to bring a few more drinks (Softies/Water) and food for a bbq for the day. If you plan on staying the night please let the people at TafaTafa know so they can prepare the Fales for you. As people are still unsure if they are going, Hash will be providing Cases of Vailima instead of a keg.

There may also be a run there so be sure to take your running shoes. We will meet there from Lunch time onwards.

On On

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Hash Trash 1499F

Hash trash 1499 F

The hash was hosted up in Vailima by Pussysnatcher, Lesbian Vampire Killer, Mele, Roz and Blakey. The hares were Mele and Blakey, who employed child labour from the Avele College to hack the trail through the bushes. The theme for the run was the Red Dress Run, and because of disparaging remarks by SOTB on the blog some hashers balked at this. But when Snake turned up in a dashing evening number, with red nails and a wig, and was lending out additional dresses, many of us agreed to don them as no one could look more like a fa'fafine than Snake. So dressed in an odd assortment of red dresses, lavalavas and what looked like a red plastic bag, the pack set out down the road and into the bush. We encountered some large piles of paper, and mutterings of littering and pollution could be heard. The trail took us up through the woods and over some plantations, a nice steady run, and then out on the road again for the on-up the Cross Island Road. A false trail led up towards SPREP which Swinger discovered, but Poumuli had already set off down the Avele road. The trail got a bit confused at a junction, but Godfather and BlowMe and Hot Nuts picked it up soon enough. There was some unauthorized use of cellphones on the trail, but it was our newbie so it was ignored. We followed the paper down through the college and back into the bush, where I am sure we crossed our original trail. Hot Nuts set off again on a false trail, while the rest of us went off back to the Cross Island Road and on home. The weather was hot and muggy for this sort of run, but there were no injuries except deep sweat stains on the red dresses.

Mele stepped in as acting GM, inviting those new to Hash to step into the circle. There was Erin from the US, Christo and Anita both from NZ volunteering out at Sinalei, Adrick, Alex, Patrick and Nusi from Samoa. There was also a visiting hasher from Solomon Islands - Hot Date. The rethreads were Handyman (with three bairns in tow), Zsa Zsa, Crash Bandicoot and once more the noise levels were to high for your Scribe to record their lame excuses. Schannel stepped in as Shoe Inspector, but messed up this simple task and got a double for being a smartarse. Celebrity Awards were given to Godfather (voyaging canoe story), Sassygirl BJ (for a tourism story - taken by SOTB) and anyone playing touch rugby for SPREP (story on business house tourney - taken by Schannel). Blakey got a Special TV Celebrity Award for handing out gifts to her successful students.

The rain now drove us into the garage where it was hopelessly muggy. Roz decided that the Joker Award she received due to last week's impromptu breast enlargement should go for the Gender Reassignment carried out by Snake. The GM made this a double for also having the sluttiest dress. The GM mentioned the serious crime of mislaying the Hash Mugs last week, and while responsibility rested with Crash, SOTB was dobbed in for this Irresponsible Mugging Award. She then turned to the Sluttiest Dressed Woman (Real) Award, which went to Blakey, who defended herself by saying she has not worn anything so skimpy outfit in Samoa ever. There had been some sort of fabcy dress party on the weekend at which several hashers had practiced cross-dressing for the Hash, so Zsa Zsa, Schannel, Pussysnatcher and Adrick were given the Liberace Award, with Pussysnatcher flashing his wares at the northern end of the garage (I hope Slippery didn't take a photo) resulting in a double.

Poumuli was requested by the GM distribute the leftovers from the last hash, resulting in Littering Awards to LVK (a weird hat), Fren (camera case), Zsa Zsa (a bikini), Blakey (Rubik's cube and scarf) while Snake confiscated a pair of sunglasses so he could join in the award. SOTB nominated Eveready for Godlike Status Award for having a threesome in a spa with Karaoke and her sister. Crash accepted, keeping it in the family. (Your Scribe is faintly disturbed by this story)

Sassygirl nominated LVK for having cavorted with a young Samoan in public and carrying on at Bistro Tatau. But it turned out to be her boyfriend, who is neither Samoan nor young (well, perhaps youngish), so it became a Mistaken Ethnicity Award. In gratitude for his services to the T-Shirt industry, LVK nominated Slippery for getting our 1500th Hash shirts organized, but since he was on antibiotics for a particularly nasty case of VD, another Pacific Islander would have to join him in a down down, which Hot Date reluctantly did, as a non-drinker he joined in doing it with Coke. But Hot Date wore his cap in the circle, so his ride to the Hash, Shane took the award with gusto. Swinger stepped forward in moral indignation to decry the excessive use of paper and to give a Litterbug Award to the Hares. They pointed out that SPREP had supplied the supposedly shredded paper, so Pussysnatcher, Poumuli and BlowMe accepted. Schannel wanted Pussysnatcher to get a Flashing Award for revealing more than we can describe on these blog pages, but joined him in a Stones in Glasshouses Award.

Brazilian Wax - who hadn't run - nominated Snake for Going the Extra Mile Award for painting his nails, which prompted Swinger to nominate Brazilian, Crash, Sassygirl and Christo for the Lack of Effort Award for not wearing anything red at all. Poumuli nominated Sassygirl for not introducing her guest (Neil) and Schannel for preferring to play touch rugby over running the Hash (different award from the earlier celebrity award). SOTB nominated the two chefs, Gordon Ramsey and Kiwi, with Gordon Ramsey coming back for a double because of his hat, nicely spotted by Brazilian Wax. Crash nominated Kamikaze for a Because He Needs One Award, which ended with a number of Kodak moments being captured by Slippery. Mele removed her GM hat to take her double for using nerd names, and the Hosts and Hares took their tribute. As this was LVK's last run for now, a cake and Samoan farewell song and siva were presented to her. LVK got a huge down down in SOTB's mug, which unsurprisingly disappeared in a flash. She also got the model 1500th shirt as a gift. Godfather also provided a dancer who did a Michael Jackson number for LVK. LVK then thanked the Hash for all the memories and friendships and promised to return later in the year.

SOTB and Sassygirl explained a bit about the arrangements for the 1500th but more will follow on the blog. We were warned that Kiwi has offered to Hare the trail, so this should be a hard, tricky and memorable run.

On On


Thursday, February 11, 2010

Hash Run 1499F- LVK, Pussy Snatcher & Mele @ Vailima

Next Week's run (15th Feb) will be hosted by LVK, Pussy snatcher and Mele up at their home in Vailima. I believe this is LVK's farewell Run. Head up the Cross Island road and go past the Curry House/Zodiac, and take the next tar sealed road on the left. The house is opposite the Chinese Embassy. Check the Map if you cant figure this out...

The theme for next week's run will be Red Dress. For the Hash Men, wear something Red unless you have a red Dress that you would like to wear during the run. Run starts normal time @ 1730Hrs

Heres some info on how the Red-Dress Run all started. Click Here

And if you have more free time like Poumuli, you can click on this link Here to read more about the Red_Dress Themed Run!

On On

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Hash Trash 1499E

The Hash was hosted by Schanelle, Crown of Thorns and Screamer at Screamer’s Palace of Love in Siusega (think that was a case of false advertising but no takers). It was a wet day all around, and Schanelle and Poumuli set out early to set the trail to take advantage of the lull in cats and dogs. This may not have been that clever, as there was now ample opportunity for local piccaninies to tamper with the trail. (That was the term that raving loonie Tallyho used when he visited us from Fiji) The trail started off with a nice false trail into the bush, but the decision had been made to keep to the flat, so off the pack went towards Tafaigata prison and landfill. A brief detour down into the plantations, with several hashers getting intentionally lost and picking up the trail on the far side. The frontrunners were taken through the new development past the landfill and onto the back roads on home. They even passed Poumuli Road. Complaints there were that it was too long, but it was measured at 5km in the car, sans false trails of course.

Lesbian Vampire Killer had been asked to be the acting GM for the night, and she rounded up all the newbies for their introductions. There was Andreas from Berlin, visiting Tammi, and Tracey, Victoria and Peter from New Zealand. They were joined in their down-downs by Brazilian Wax and Tammi, with an additional one for the GM for False Accusations. The rethreads were Slippery, Jack, COT and Kamikaze, with a double for Slippery for interrupting Jack and burping in the circle. AC/DC our shoe inspector insisted that Chilindrina and Wahoo were in new shoes, when the record shows Wahoo drinking from those last year! Glasses for AC/DC next time.

Celebrity Awards were given to Godfather, Sassygirl BJ, Kiwi for the Hash story in the newspaper. Lezzie was absent, so for his picture in the V-Bar ad, his closest living relative needed to be located, and for some reason this was Screamer. Poumuli was singled out by COT for his Bob Marley impersonation at Zodiac. Shortcutter awards were given to Kamikaze and Poumuli (hey I was injured!), which was interrupted by a cellphone exchange by SOTB and Kiwi, complicated by AC/DC opining, and the GM calling him by his other name when instructing him to be quiet.

Confusion was restored as the GM nominated Fren and Kathy for actually doing the long run and not shortcutting. And as this was the Rubik themed Hash, Screamer assisted the GM in sorting out the best dressed, with Ring Ring and Hot (Squashed) Nuts taking the prizes. The Joker of the Week went to Roz for her hastily assembled breast enlargement surgery. And while she couldn’t get her arms around her new charms to hold the drink she was assaulted by an overenthusiastic Slippery.

COT had jumped the gun by jumping in the pool before the circle and was joined by Kiwi. The GM gave a Nerd Award to Blakey for actually owning a Rubik’s Cube. The GM had been informed by email from an absent hasher that Rubik was Hungarian, hence Chilindrina had to take the Useless Information Award in Zsa Zsa’s absence. Fren and Blakey then received a Disorganization Award, joined by Snake who tried to hide from the rain under Roz’s “balcon”.

Poumuli nominated Captain Mortein for messing with the trail markers – his counter arguments failed because of the paper evidence on his flip-flops. As AC/DC had held an umbrella over his head, SOTB suggested doubling it, but this went to AC/DC who did a Singing in the Rain parody. The circle was moved into the patio, where Snake nominated Poumuli for bringing a knife to hash and not cutting himself, quickly followed by a nomination from SOTB for leaving him out of the Celebrity Awards. Blakey nominated Kathy for the Dating the GM’s Ex Award, but they ended up sharing the glass too, how sweet. Kiwi was spotted leaning, while Sassy nominated Jack for his bragging. COT nominated Snake and Fang for getting the whole Rubik’s concept wrong. The circle was closed by Hot Nuts thanking LVK on all our behalf. The hosts and the hares were then saluted according to tradition, before the hungry pack descended on the food kindly provided and cooked by a noisy gaggle of hash meres earlier.

On On,


Thursday, February 04, 2010

Hash Run 1499 E - Screamers Palace of Love @ Siusega


Next week's Run will be hosted by Screamer, COT and Schannel at Screamers Palace of Love at Siusega (Yes, she told me to put that in there) The Hosts have a small note to add to this, see below.

This will be a Rubix Cube THEMED Hash.

Please wear a variety of clothing, with each item in a solid colour. Each individual should wear at least 4 DIFFERENT colours of the Rubix Cube (Red, White, Blue, Yellow, Green, Orange).
The goal is to exchange your clothing with different people through the afternoon until you end up with an outfit that is entirely made up of one colour!

You may wear scarves, hats, belts, socks, headbands, wristbands or any other accessories to make up your multi-coloured outfit.

Remember to wear underwear (this advice is specifically for Schannel).

Prizes will be awarded for the most innovative, most sexy and most funny outfits after the swap overs are complete.

Also, bring swimwear, towel and a change of clothes as the pool WILL be clean (no chlorox needed)

See the Map below for Directions. Run Starts at 1730HRS

On On!

Hash Trash 1499D

What a wet day for a run! Rain was falling for the last few days, and was not letting up (more on the causes of this later). With no host available, the Hash was gathered at the Samoa Tourism Authority fale, where some dancing practice was going on. Luckily the Vailima truck had deposited the beer tap with the STA office, or things may have gotten out of hand. After some initial confusion, Schanelle was appointed to be a live Hare. And off he went like a rocket. Chased for a while by rethread BlowMe and newbies Jane and Simon, he relentlessly left the pack behind. The run went down Beach Road, to jeers from the merry-making crowd at On the Rocks, past the port and around Vaiala Beach, back down the Matafagatele Street and back to STA. The Hare had actually run around the Government Building, but by the time the rest caught up the Hare was waiting at the fale, so no thanks, we’ll stop here. But well done to BlowMe, Jane and Swinger for completing the torture. Nothing too eventful happened on the run – no dogs to taser, and felt good to vent off some steam to add to the sauna-like conditions in downtown Apia.

Eveready stepped in again as GM, and welcomed the newcomers to Hash. They were Simon from Melbourne, Charley and Jane from NZ, staying at Sinalei with Godfather. Charley had been briefed by Godfather, but messed up on Karaoke’s name, and the GM made all four take a dwon-down. There were many rethreads – Brazilian Wax, Kiwi, BlowMe, Bits & Pieces, Goer, Bloomin’ Luscious and Sassygirl Blowjob.

Our shoe inspector AC/DC was on hand, and he successfully identified Bloomin’ Luscious and Jane as having offended the rule on new shoes. Jane did hers with aplomb (“Too flash for Hash”), while Bloomin’ looked like she was pouring it on her shirt.

Mele was invited to pass on the Joker Award, which although she claimed she had received it for being the most charming, witty and beautiful at Hash, she was not sure whom to pass it on too. She settled for keeping it in the family and awarded it to Lesbian Vampire Killer, whereupon the beer was gone in a flash.

The GM was annoyed that the live Hare had set off at such speed, causing many to lose the trail (well, its not exactly that hard to find the way back, but anyway) and rewarded Schanelle with a large one. Celebrity Awards were given to Wahoo (repeated Lucky Foodtown commercials) and Lewinsky (ad for selling Swashbucklers). Wahoo of course was faster by a mile. The GM also invoked the Best Dressed at Hash Award for Sassygirl BJ.

Venting his spleen further, the GM had observed a Hasher turning up late, and when asked why, said that he hadn’t missed it but had done his own marathon. In disbelief at this, it was clarified that AC/DC had done a “horizontal marathon”. As this is not normal activity for Hash, at least between 17.30 and 20.00 on Mondays, AC/DC was given the For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge Award (2nd Class).

Our GM is a travelling virtuoso and while in Oz had bought a “charming” cooler for his Diet Coke. One hasher commented that the bikini motif obviously had had a brazilian wax. Who on earth would say such a thing but Brazilian Wax. He stepped forward for Voicing Thoughts No-one Else Want to Contemplate Award.

Our regular GM, Princess of Darkness, is of course away overseas, and a lot of things at Hash seem to go to the dark side in a carrying thingy. Hence the lack of beer cups this week, but not to be outdone creative use was made of a Pringles can and several bottles. Creative Architecture Awards to Karaoke and Blakey.

The GM, Eveready was pleased to see Bloomin’ back at the Hash, but was horrified that her own Father could not remember her Hash name. Bits & Pieces got a big one for this serious offence. Fully on a roll, he told of a Hash mere cavorting with rugby players to drum up some action – Screamer got the Female Action Award. And then the GM spotted Charley sitting on a table and Wahoo and Ring Ring leaning.

Having Interpol investigating you for money laundering is of course not to be sneered at, except if you have no money to launder, but apparently the GM had unearthed a Mafioso Award for Swinger. Sassygirl BJ had her arse grabbed upon arrival at Hash, but was disappointed to find that it was Ring Ring, who promptly gave the GM a demonstration of her technique for the Arsegrabbing Award. Poumuli gave an account of how Screamer had insulted his entire office for smelling of male sweat and feet, with BlowMe as a witness that she had asserted that what this office needed was some female action! Upon receiving her award she further lambasted her opinion that none in that office would get any female action.

Brazilian Wax spotted Charley on the cellphone, and called for a Rude Award – should have been Cellphonus Interruptus, but no one cared for details. As Charley reluctantly took his award, he made some offhand remark about the cost of avoiding the next one, which Wahoo mistook for using her real name. Or the story was different, but the temper tantrum cooked it for Wahoo, and she got a False Accusation Backfire Award.

Since Strangler was absent, Sassygirl BJ had been able to restrain her irritation and focus on the singing voices of others, and she nominated Simon to sing the Hash song by himself, for himself, which he did remarkably well under such unforeseen pressure. Ring Ring, having recovered her vision after her two awards, nominated Godfather for the Sexy Pants Award. The GM had been in a panic at the start of the Hash with the non-arrival of the BBQ etc., but Lewinsky helpfully pointed out that this was because for the first time in his life Snake was gainfully employed, so a large Entrepreneur Award was given to Snake.

Sassygirl BJ nominated Godfather, Swinger and Brazilian Wax for the Seafarers Award for their engagement with the voyaging canoe, which was made a large one for Swinger due to some swinging (or frigging) in the rigging. We then received the evidence for why there had been so much rain recently. Apparently the GM (and several unnamed Hashers) had performed sundry rain dances and rituals in the hope that a certain Hash mere would do the run a-la wet t-shirt, so LVK had to get her Lack of Incriminating Evidence Award. (Though I think the GM should get one next week for Pagan Ritualism!)

Charley, clearly by now colourblind and on the offense, called for anyone wearing a green singlet to get an Award in honour of St. Patrick’s Day. His target was of course the GM, though he was wearing a teal and beer coloured tanktop, and this is never a good idea to try on the GM. Blakey who was wearing a green t-shirt was thus the unintended victim.

Next week Hash will be hosted by Schanelle, Crown of Thorns and Screamer at The Scream in Siusega. COT had called for a theme of Rubik’s Cube, meaning that all have to show up with one item for each of the 6 colours of a Rubik’s Cube, then gradually exchange these with others until you end up with all single colours at the close of the evening. This sounds unduly complicated and positively unhygienic, but we shall try. (Hashers, make sure that whatever sweaty garment you use for the run gets exchanged to the brain surgeon who thought up this particular atrocity.)

The GM was concerned that not enough practice had gone into the dancing routines for the 1500th Hash, and while we did not get to see the Meres dance, he did command them to show us the moves for the Hash Anthem. This caused much hilarity especially in regards to the cumming motion – these Meres must be very lucky! Somehow this was translated into a down down for Poumuli. For the arrangements for the 1500th, Sassygirl BJ suggested an extra $5 for each hasher, to be combined with the $600 from the Veterans Association, as suggested by Snake, and that we find a suitable charity to award this to. The GM also called for action on the commemorative t-shirts and a live band. The Hare and the Host, Schanell and Sassy, with Schanell taking a double for something I can no longer discern from the notes.

On on,


Monday, February 01, 2010

Hash Run 1499D - BYO Food @ STA Fale


Hash will be behind the STA Fale in town. Please note that this is a BYO Food run and the BBQ will be there so bring something to throw on the BBQ. Hash will supply the drinks as per the norm and run will start at 1730 hrs.

We are also looking for a hare so if you are keen to set the run, please let BB know.

On On.