Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Hash Trash 1809

The Hash was hosted by Godfather, Sunny Side Up and Swinger up at the Ah Liki retreat in Malololelei. It was a rainy and extremely foggy day, so only the hard core of the Hash turned up. Swinger had set a lovely run through the nature reserve up there. There were numerous checks and false trails and the few runners were kept active. It was also damned slippery and hard to see in places, but we were treated to lots of birds and bats and flowers galore. This is a perfect place for a Hash run, but perhaps when the weather is more clement. There are numerous options for false trails and the view, when visible, is spectacular. In any case, we few hardy hearties made it safely around and had a great run, if wet.

Again Cupless agreed to be GM. There were no newbies but we had a surprise retread in Brazilian, back for a few weeks. He claimed to have been sent down the wrong trail three years ago.
This Day in History Awards went to Witch Doctor (1969 – The oil company Phillips Petroleum made the first oil discovery in the Norwegian sector of North Sea), Poumuli’s dog Happy (1997 – Hong Kong begins to kill all the nation's 1.25 million chickens to stop the spread of a potentially deadly influenza strain), Brazilian (2011 – Owing to a change of time zone the day is skipped in Samoa and Tokelau) and Swinger (Feast Day of St James the Just).

Celebrity Awards went to Rory for the numerous charity events and lawsuits in the paper. Poumuli tried to nominate the Hare for a Hazardous Trail Award, but this was voted down. However, at a past Mismanagement meeting Poumuli had proposed the establishment of the post of Religious Adviser, whose sole task it is to ensure that it doesn’t rain on the Hash. Godfather had been enthusiastic about this, thus the two of them took the award, with Swinger adding that Poumuli should be rewarded for the job well done in Paris.

Godfather pointed out that Rory had been in Samoa three years, and often attended the Hash late, but that this was the first time he had actually run. Witch Doctor then nominated all those who hadn’t had a down down – Eveready, Titty Galore, Sunny Side Up and Wahoo, joined by Cupless for using a wrong name.

Swinger reiterated the thoughts of the Scribe that this was indeed a perfect place for a Hash run, and a congratulatory award went to Godfather and Sunny Side Up for coming up with the idea. All then did a down down with the Hare.

Next week’s run will either be at Cupless and Rory’s place in Palisi or at Nafanua Restaurant. Watch the blog.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1808

The Hash was hosted at Palusami Restaurant by Elle Mc Jr. It was a modest turnout as many are off island for holidays, and others were too lazy. Poumuli was asked to be live hare and off we went down the Vaiala road stopping for a Hash View at the new sea wall, already loosing rocks to the waves. The walkers were left behind, and in the end it was only Godfather and the Hare running, thus we went back home, as the heat was too intense on the back roads. More hashers started turning up, and we soon had a good number present. Cupless agreed to be GM and called the circle to order.
There were no newbies, and the retreads were Poumuli and Lowrider – one had been in Paris the other babyraising. There was no need for a Shoe Inspector, yet Snake insisted that Poumuli’s shoes were too new – actually they were.

This Day in History Awards were a difficult affair as hardly any were present. Snake for Hot Nuts (1892 – Premiere performance of The Nutcracker by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in Saint Petersburg, Russia), Transporter for Lewinsky (1998 – President Bill Clinton is impeached by the United States House of Representatives, becoming the second President of the United States to be impeached), Cupless for Crime (2004 – A gang of thieves steal £26.5 million worth of currency from the Donegall Square West headquarters of Northern Bank in Belfast, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom, one of the largest bank robberies in British history), Transporter for Gayboy (2010 – The repeal of the Don't ask, don't tell policy, the 17-year-old policy banning homosexuals serving openly in the United States military, is signed into law by President Barack Obama) and Dawn Raid (International Migrants Day).

Celebrity Awards went to Dawn Raid (Norway being best country to live in story), Wahoo (Janet’s ad), Witch Doctor (I forget), and Godfather for Swinger (Swingmother was in the paper).
Opening up for nominations, Sunny Side Up nominated Godfather for his eagerness to get to the Hash, to the point of running a light. When Godfather tried to explain that this was Hashmanlike Behaviour, Snake recounted how they had been broken down by the side of the road and saw Godfather approaching in his truck, only to have him speed past. In the end Sunny Side Up, Godfather (Snakebite was whipping boy) and Transporter took this award. Transporter had his sunglasses on, but handed it off to Venom.

Poumuli was impressed by the speed of the two boys and suggested a race with their dad, thus Snake, Snakebite and Venom lined up. Need less to say the boys triumphed.

Transporter nominated the only TV1 employee to refuse participating in the Christmas Thank You Show. Anchor defended that she wanted some more money to participate. Poumuli nominated Witch Doctor for getting her wheels back.

Transporter nominated Rory for a celebrity award as he had just arrived, for the Digicel lawsuit against Bluesky, but he joined as a closest living relative to Bluesky employees past and present. Godfather nominated Elle Mc Jr for the most beautiful proposal ever, which Anchor took as closest living relative.

Anchor then nominated Transporter for the Asshole of the Month Award for not taking better care of Lowrider, details were not forthcoming, with some confusion as to the relative assholiness compared to Cockblocker.

The Hare and Hosts were saluted, with Poumuli and the Snake boys doing the honors. Elle Mc Jr then put on some fabulous food for us.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Monday, December 28, 2015

Hash Run 1809

Today's run will be hosted by Sunny Side Up, Godfather and Crime up at a new compound at the top of the island in Malololelei. Take Cross-Island Road and then turn off on Kelsey Lane (huge sign for a Catholic Church). Continue straight, past church compound and keep going as the road turns to dirt road. The compound is at the end of the road .

Bring your hash cash of 20 tala. It will be a BYO with BBQ a la Yahoo. Location below.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Monday, December 21, 2015

Hash run 21st December

Hash tonight will be held at Palusami Restaurant. As there is no host, anyone who wants food will need to pay extra and we can organise Sunrise. Onon!

PS- we need a fill in GM please

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Three Apia Hashers and a Virgin take on Paris Hash

It was the best of times and the worst of times. Actually it was bloody cold and we were lost. Well FBI, AC/DC and the ni-Vanuatu Isso were lost, but Poumuli found the way. A small group of Paris Hashers, some visitors and your Scribe set off on the run, only to run straight into our lost boys. They had found a check point and were waiting there, thinking it was the start. So they joined the run, FBI in a greatcoat and backpack, AC/DC in jeans and thick jacket, and Isso wearing work boots. 

The run was through a picturesque forested park, and while cold it was quite stunning. We even had special Hash Halts, called Hash Views, to take in the scenery, including an old cemetery. There we sang Here’s To Brother Hashers Who Aren’t With Us Today.

There were too many false trails to count, with a bloody system that when you came cross you had to check back x amount of spots. It was also a very long run. Without the false trails it was 8 km. And at 7 km there was a beer stop!

There was also a boob check, where the women were supposed to find the trail, but only after baring their bras, or in one case, the real thing! Godfather would have enjoyed this.

The circle was livened up by the Apia boys, particularly when AC/DC tried to dob in FBI for crapping on the trail, but FBI had photographic evidence that it was the other way around.

Your Scribe cannot remember much more other than FBI and AC/DC doing an alternative version of the Siva Tau that involved some pelvic thrusts.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Christmas Card from Vai Vai

Money’s Short and Times are Hard, Here’s your Freakin’ Christmas Card

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Everybody felt shitty
Even the mouse …..

Mum at the whorehouse
And dad smoking grass
I’d just settle down
For a nice piece of arse …

When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my piece
To see what was the matter …

Then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment
It must be Saint Nick …

He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment
The fucker had fell …

He filled all our stockings
With pretzels and beer
And a big rubber dick
For my brother the queer …

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart
The son of a bitch
Blew the chimney apart …

He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight
Piss on you all
And have a hell of a night!!!
Merry Friggin’ Christmas!

To all at Hash
From Vai Vai

Sunday, December 06, 2015


It is the festive season once again... my how time flies when one gets old lol

Following is a quick update for tomorrow's run!

  1. Starting from Sunrise Restaurant at Samoa Ports Authority location, Matautu
  2. Run will start sharp 5.30 given the many stops and drinking to be had along the way
  3. Santa will be in the house
  4. Santa's Ride 1: Eveready and if weather turns to custard, we will go to plan B.?? lol
  5. Hash cash of 20 tala applies which will go towards your food
  6. do get in to the spirit of the occassion - wear some xmassy decorations, by golly some of you need a lot of it lol and bring your vocal chords :)
  7. Any questions revert to the GM who will rule whichever way she sees fit!
  8. Monk has gone awol thank goodness so no discussions about name changes!
ON ON...bring it ON