Thursday, April 26, 2012

Hash Run 1620 - Godfather, TittyG and team @ Ynot

Good Morning All,

Next week's run will be hosted by Godfather, TittyG and team at Ynot.

The hosts will be providing the spread on Monday so you don't need to bring anything unless you want to cook something special. The run will start at the normal time 1730Hrs and we will have our Keg, Softies and sweet nuts.

Please make sure to bring your hash cash on Monday ($15)

No Map as you should all know where it is. Head to Matautu, next door to Paddles Restaurant.

On On

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Hash Trash 1619

The Hash was hosted by Snake at Snakepit the 2nd in Vaitele. A lovely day for a trot in the countryside as daylight savings is over! We were exhorted to go out and left from the gate, and Tallyho and your Scribe gamely went up that bastard hill at some speed only to find that our attempt to get it over with was a false trail. Muttering curses upon all things elongated, legless and reptilian, we set off back down the hill after the rest of the pack. This was now led by SOTB who had simply waited by the gate! Down the cross road (don’t remember all the names), then a further false trail up the next parallel hill. This time SOTB actually found the true trail which led into the bush. This was serious snake country, as we were first slowed to a crawl by the dense bushes – even the considerable form of SOTB hadn’t flattened the vegetation sufficiently, and Godfather slipped off some rocks. There was even a stretch where we actually had to crawl to get through. Out onto the road there was some further confusion as to whence the trail led. Eventually a group comprising of Sexpot, Pussysnatcher, Tallyho and a few others decided it must be up the hill and around to the top of the Senese road. We did find a false trail mark but decided we had had enough of this malicious malarkey and went on-home. We ended up doing a much longer run than intended by Snake, at least that was his excuse. Godfathers sweet nuts were never sweeter. SOTB as GM called the circle to order, inviting those new to Apia Hash to introduce themselves. There was Yutaka (from Japan) visiting Ninja, and Scott who is here for work and was brought by PS. The rethreads were Wahoo, Poumuli and Mrs Ninja. Poumuli had some fluorescently incandescent new shoes that were christened. Luckily they absorbed most of the beer. Celebrity Awards went to Snatched (in Observer) taken by PS, Ali (for being on TV) and Sam the Fireman (also on TV). Sam couldn’t be with us but had made a special request for his best mate Lewinsky to take the award for him. The mate business came as a surprise to Lewinsky. This Day in History Awards went to SOTB (43 BC, Mark Antony defeated at battle of Mutina), Sam (1836, Sam Houston defeats Mexican general Sta. Anna), Godfather (Earth Day, and he is the Salt of the Earth), Tallyho (St George’s Day) and Poumuli (International Pixel Stained Technopeasant Day). The GM had learned that Poumuli had been hashing in San Francisco and decided that this warranted a No Poofters At Hash Award. In other news there had been a recent plane crash in which only the pilot and the terrorist survived, so this award went to Captain Mortein and Ali, obviously. A double down down went to Sam for having a birthday party and inviting nil hashers. Some Hashers had been golfing, when one of them decided to snatch someones golf ball. The result was that the GM was attacked by an irate mad golfer, so Sexpot was rewarded for his perfidy. Ali was given the Graduation Award, and was joined by Swinger who had stood him up for the celebrations. Opening up for nominations, Tallyho had been confused a bit on the trail, and had seen PS dart into a taxi yard, obviously intending to chariot ride. PS made some excuse about missing some parts, and a vote got them both the award. Sam joined for cellphonus interruptus and Snake for setting the run from a chariot. In his defence, snakes are squamate, ectothermic, amniote vertebrates. Sam had been running with Lewinsky, and felt a bit lost, but Lewinsky told him they should just take a short-cut. Lewinsky denied this, saying he was going along with anything Sam said to avoid being Bruce Lee’d, but this did not stick up at the vote. Tallyho wanted to nominate Sexpot for his impressive running and that since he obviously has too much energy should be renamed Nosexpot. This boomeranged to Tallyho as Desperate Housewife is off-island with an illness. More on that issue, Sexpot had been alone for a few days and some Hashers had offered to take him out. He ended up on a three day bender, concluding with a bursting hangover caused by Lewinsky. SOTB and Lewinsky received the Reckless Sexpot Endangerment Award.
Sassy was irate over the lack of gas for the BBQ and nothing being done about it, so Titty Galore and Sexpot got the Hash Chef (Not) Award as they had been in charge last time. Swinger nominated Tallyho for getting a full body servicing in the Philippines, so a Warrant of Fitness Award went to Tallyho. Joining him was Slim Shady for making the weird suggestion that he should dissolve Viagra on his knees. Horny Ho wanted to get the GM for some crime involving window vipers, but it became so convoluted that an FBI Award was given instead. Poumuli had been cooking for Wahoo’s family in the US, but instead of helping out she was Facebooking the whole time. She told him that she was going to write “no bloodshed as yet”, when he told her no that would jinx him. Lo and behold, it did, but did Wahoo get a band-aid? No! She Facebooked the rest of the story instead.
Back to the golfing excursion, Sexpot was playing against Sassy, who complained of constant tiredness and was just sitting in the buggy the whole time. A Tired and Emotional Award to Sassy. Finally, Poumuli complained that there was no Scribe the last two weeks, but this somehow backfired. He was joined by Lewinsky who had started the Hash Song too early. The host and the hare were saluted – Snake, Uli, Tina and Reade. Check the blog for next week’s run. On On Poumuli, IKA Slit

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Hash Run - 23rd April 2012 - Snake pit 2 - Vaitele

Good evening all,

Tomorrow's run will be hosted by Snake and the team at the Snake pit 2 at Vaitele (Senese School)

The hosts have kindly offered to provide the food for tomorrow's run so no need to bring anything unless you want to. We will also have a keg there as well as softies and sweet nuts from Godfather!

Directions: Head out to Vaitele, when you reach BOC Gases, turn left and head up the hill. Just before you get to the Faatuatua Christian School (on your right hand side), you will see the Senese School on the left. Turn into the compound and head to the back.

The run will start at the usual 1730 Hrs so try and be there on time as we want to get back before it gets dark.

Map is posted below just in case you cant find your way

Please make sure you bring your $15 hash cash and also for those who had ordered UB40 Tickets, please bring your money for your tickets if you have not yet paid so we can hand out the tickets tomorrow.

On On

Monday, April 16, 2012

Hash Run 1618 - 16th Apr - BYO Run @ Ynot Bar

Good morning all,

sorry for the late posting but we couldn't find any hosts for today's run. Ynot Bar however has kindly offered a venue for our run tonight. It will be a BYO food for the BBQ run tonight so please bring something to put on to the BBQ if you want to eat after the run. If not, then don't eat what you did not bring :)

Run will start at 1730 Hrs and we will have a keg, softies and sweet nuts. Also, dont forget your hash cash of $15 tonight.

Location/Directions: Head down to Matautu, next door to Paddles restaurant, you will find Ynot bar.

See you all there
On On

Saturday, April 07, 2012

Hash Trash 1616

This April Fool’s Day Hash was hosted by Hooker Lua and SOTB at Vaoala. The Hare was Ring Ring, and although we were promised a short run this was not to be as we had a whole load of false trails. The weather was quite fine and we were finally off Daylight Savings Time – hurra! We were not disappointed in that this was indeed an incredibly inventive run. The trail led up the Cross Island Road with Tallyho and others running off in the wrong direction. Captain Mortein was on a roll and kept hitting the right tracks, as Poumuli floundered further up the Cross Island Road. A trail was acquired leading through someone’s taro patch, which slowed us down considerably, but hey rather go slow than break a leg. We finally arrived down on the cow pastures off Bank Street, with several tricky false trails, until finally we went through the bushes to get back to the main road. And there was even a river for us to get our boots wet yet again! Back on home through the fence and we were done. Godfather was not around so his sweet nuts could not be savoured.

SOTB had been cooking not running so he was not as sweaty as normal, and more or less cogent. He called the circle to order, but was rudely interrupted and Tallyho and Tramp were called in for not wearing anything flowery in line with the theme and for giving the GM lip. Those new to Hash was only Carlos, a Spanish dive instructor brought by Witch Doctor, so being so well instructed the GM gave him a down-down. The rethreads were Kiwi, Buzzer, Einstein, Sexpot and Tramp, respectively golfing, schooling, old ageing, ozzing and landing in Nadi.

Shoe inspector Tallyho was nearly stumped in his search for culprits, but the threat of having to drink from the GM’s shoes was enough for Queen Biyatch to fetch her shoes. Celebrity Awards went to Godfather for being the object of a World Bank feature in the Observer, so closest living relative Poolboy joined his missus. Further celebrities were found in Horny Ho kids who had been singing on TV – they both pretended not being able to or enjoying beer!

The GM had noticed that the National Bank had launched some new products that have yet to be matched by commercial banks, so Sexpot and Skidmark got the Not Keeping Up With Competition Award. Karaoke was so inspired by the moment that she commented that there had been a picture of a huge cake in the paper, and it wasn’t from Adria’s – obvious!
Captain Mortein and Tramp were both spotted leaning, before a Bad Grandparenting Award was given to Eveready for letting Divine fall flat on her face. This Day in History Awards went to Captain Mortein (1801 – Brits sink Danish fleet at Battle of Copenhagen), Carlos (1939 – end of Spanish Civil War), Tallyho (Argentina invades Falklands – Malvinas Day!), and SOTB (1973 – first ever mobile phone call made on a Motorola).

Sassy nominated Poumuli for not knowing difference between pork and chicken – hey it was frozen! Horny Ho had spotted Hideo crouching in a rather suggestive manner on the road, it was demonstrated for us, and while it could have been construed as passing a turtle he claimed it was a Stretching Award. Karaoke wanted all to check out Ring Ring’s new car, black tint, which was sure tp pull a lot of chicks??? Horny Ho added that this ride was getting Tallyho home the riotous laughter became too much.
The GM nominated Fireman Sam for dedication to the hash – turning up late and pretending to get sweaty. Tallyho had been reading the news and had found an item on quantum physics, and apparently Einstein had been right all along – step forward Einstein.

Sassy nominated all the nature lovers in the circle – Hooker Lua, Ring Ring, Horny Ho, Karaoke and SOTB. Poumuli nominated Witch Doctor for the Conman Award for dislodging his luggage from Air Pacific without the tags, same name on ID or any ID for that matter.

Sam desperately wanted to get the GM back for a perceived slight, as they had been out having drinks and the GM had scored phone numbers off some girls leaving nought for Sam. This was added to by Sexpot who pointed out that the whole 4G thing was bogus advertising. Somehow this got turned around to anyone being a Digicel lover, which was Kiwi with his bright red hat, and a few minutes later, cellphonus interruptus via Digicel.

Hooker Lua mentioned that one special historical event had been missed, namely the birth of Hans Christian Andersen, the Danish writer – this one went to Sassy (hubby Chris), SOTB (middle name) and Captain (obvious!). Tallyho added in Poumuli for not getting that one – bastard! SOTB then got Fireman Sam for not also owning up to the middle name issue.

Sexpot was very concerned that Samoa had been robbed in the 7’s, which obviously meant an award for Crime, plus a token Aussie – Skidmark, and Kiwi to represent the errant ref.

Hooker Lua then announced her special April Fool’s Day gig for the Hash Men. When I say that this was humiliating, I am off. It was much worse than that. We had to bellydance to some bloody hashish swirling Egyptian music. Anyway, the winners were Einstein, prize a voluptuous pink bra, Poumuli for graceful choreography, Poolboy as the fairest of them all – a mirror, and Sam for best poledancing impression.
Then the hosts and the hare were saluted as we descended upon the feast.

Next week its at Aqua Samoa – we need a Scribe for the event.

On On from San Francisco
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Easter Hash Run

Good Morning All,

This Monday's Easter run will be out at Aqua Samoa at Aggie Grey's Beach Resort in Mulifanua (just past the airport) The run will start at 12 noon followed by our usual untidiness. You can swim in the ocean before, during or after the run so bring a change of clothes.

The hosts will be providing some food but have also asked if we can all bring a little something to throw on the BBQ. Don't be shy and turn up with 2 or 3 sausages or something like that :) Bring something we can all partake in.

We will have a keg there and hopefully some sweet nuts from Godfather along with the softies.

No map posted as you should all know how to get there...

Best is if we can all try and car pool to make it easier and safer for everyone..

On On