Monday, November 30, 2009

Hash Run 1494 - Mon 30 Nov 2009

Hi everyone, tonight's run will be hosted by Cocaine, Tony Blair, and Selena at their home in Tuaefu. For you newbees, this is a great location, that often times includes a nice run through the bush at Papase'ea. Even more, there's a pool. So bring a suit.

On On!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1493

The hash was hosted by Mr and Mrs Whippy and Mr and Mrs Whippy Senior in Lotopa. It was a nice sunny afternoon as the large pack set out down the Lotopa streets, finding three false trails right off the bat. It got a bit confusing seeing Karaoke actually leading the pack twice. The trail however was delightfully flat and the dog population warned off by the arrival of Tasers in the country. We finished off turning around the LDS Temple and then on-home to the Whippy compound.

Princess of Darkness returned as GM and got the circle organized. There were two newcomers to Hash – Alicia and Luke –both from NZ, and neither had been told of the names rule, so Hot Nuts and Zsa Zsa got the Rules on Names Award. Zsa Zsa as usual made it a lengthy one. Rethreads were David (who ran in the Hash in 1992) and Mr and Mrs Whippy Senior, who both also violated the names rules, earning Mr Whippy a double. There were no new shoes, so AC/DC took that award, only to get a second one for wearing sunglasses.

FBI showed up late, and was excused from taking his Latecomer Award in Vailima, but Lewinsky had poured vodka in his Sprite anyway, so it was heavy going.

The GM repeated the Animal Cruelty Award to Poumuli for his enthusiastic use of the new Taser – for clarification – it was not a puppy, but a grown dog. It was the big cup, too.

Crash Bandicoot received the Messing Up 1st Major Job Award for not putting appropriate openings on a Minister’s car seats. The Smuggling Award had to go to Tony Blair and Selena for trying to take endangered species to Europe.

The GM described the scene as one of the Hashers rushed back to base to get at the beer, so Vailimaholic Award went to Larry. Poumuli sought approval for a new Pumpkin Award to any Hasher that leaves Hash early for no convincing reason. The first winner was Mr Whippy who will now wear the Pumpkin Hat until he can dob it off on someone else.

Crash Bandicoot described what could either be Hashmanlike Conduct or Deceit, but Lewinsky had snuck out saying he was fixing a cappuccino machine and instead went fishing in Savaii.

Captain Mortein described the wreckless driving of a hash mere, but the story got a bit confused as to cause and effect, so he joined Screamer in the award.

Tony Blair suggested that Poumuli should get a Ignorance of History Award, as today was Pearl Harbour Day, but Kamikaze seemed an obvious target instead. However, Eveready came forward with the fact check that the date in question was 7 December, to which Tony Blair countered that it was Eveready who had told him the story! Both took the award.

BB noted that last week’s hash had been an important one, and that several hashers had abandoned hash in favour of going to the SPREP opening function – Swinger, Hot Nuts, Tammi and Screamer.
Tammi nominated a new hasher for the Line Jumping the Hash Cash Award, but she got the name wrong so she joined “Bwyan” or David.

Strangler nominated Mr Whippy for the Pollution Award for taking us through several areas with congested traffic. There followed some lighthearted and frankly disgusting discussion of Zsa Zsa’s bike, in particular the upturned front and the ballspace. In the end Eveready, Zsa Zsa, Snake and later on Chilindrina for Sympathy Award. AC/DC and FBI were spotted holding up a brand new house – Leaning Award.

Eveready had spotted BB coming late and drove part of the trail, so a Partial Chariot Riding Award was handed out. Meanwhile Tony Blair nominated Lewinsky for ruining the family nature of hash for various horrible acts including feeding Happy Feet beer, so he got a Pour Parenting Award.

AC/DC nominated Dawn Raid for not living up to his Hash name by not overstaying and rather leaving. BB had given a Hasher a ride in her car, who had promptly left his shoes behind and giving Swinger cause for grief, so AC/DC stepped up for a Getting Hash Mere Into Trouble Award. Eveready nominated Tony Blair for getting drinks at HQ1 and not paying for them. A more solemn moment came as Mr Whippy explained the meaning and nature of Thanksgiving, a time for getting together and sharing of the harvest, which was what Hash was all about as well. This was then ruined by Captain Mortein’s comment about whether Thanksgiving happened before or after the Indians were slaughtered.

The Hosts and the Hare received warm accolades from the Hash, and Godfather blessed our partaking of the heavenly bounty that was laid out for us to enjoy.

Your Scribe will be off again, but back on 25th of January.

On On,


Friday, November 20, 2009

Hash Run 1493 - Mon 23 Nov 2009

Hash Run 1493 will be hosted by the Whippy family in Lotopa (see map).

We will be celebrating Thanksgiving! We hope to have a turkey for the troops too :)

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, where everyone comes together and shares, this will be a pot luck run - so please bring a cooked dish. There will be no BBQ (we are giving the Hash chefs the night off).

Rumors are that Mr. Whippy is cooking-up his Nuclear Chili - The Psycho Dave Blend.

On On!

Hash Trash - Run 1492

The hash was hosted by Larry and Mandy at their house in Vailima next to the SPREP Compound. A good turnout for this birthday run for both Larry and Mr. Whippy, and the pack set off down the SPREP road and into the woodlands. A bit of confusion as the arrow Larry had left was so large that it was invisible at first, but the trail led down the creek and over some strategically logged trees placed there by MAFF. So much for this being a conservation area. Your Scribe had a sprained toe so he lost the pack, but apparently there was some interesting trails blazed through buildings and other properties. A good jomp through the area in other words.

Strangler stepped in as GM and noted that the year 1492 was the year Columbus “discovered” America, so a Discovery Award was given to Selena, Walking Eagle, Eveready, Fang and Chilindrina for being Americanos. Tony Blair tried a historical accuracy revision to the award by calling on the Vikings in the Hash to be awarded since everyone knows that the Vikings, particularly the Norwegian Vikings were the first Europeans to set foot, pillage and murder on American soil. But Strangler declined on that one, as the year could not be ascertained, and Poumuli knows not to volunteer information that leads to him getting down downs.

There were three newcomers to Hash, Matt from Auckland (guest of Dizzy), Ross and Mana from Melbourne (guests of Larry and Mandy). Rethreads were Walking Eagle and Dizzy – neither of whom had a good excuse. New Boots were spotted, as Dizzy only explained to Matt the rules upon arrival at the Hash. But he took the award in good stride, until Dawn Raid interfered and got the Non-Enlightenment Award. Celebrity Awards went to Larry, Dawn Raid, Poumuli and Tony Blair.

Crash Bandicoot arrived, late and with the Hash Mugs, and his claim of working (barely) was not accepted so he got the Late Mugs Award.

Several Hash Meres joined in describing some rather inappropriate behavior, so Slippery received the Too Much Information (Disclosure Act 2009) for describing his passions over the years. The fact that he was taking a photo of a lactating Pirate Princess while facing the accusation only enlarged the mug to a big one.

Most unfairly Poumuli was given the Smuggling Award for bringing in contraband tasers etc., even if it was used at the start of the run to deter some mangy charging dogs. Tony Blair tried to use the illegal arms to taser Poumuli during the award but has clumsy hands – explains Larry’s water situation.

Last Friday had been declared a Government half day off for sports, but many Government employees in the Hash declined to take part. So for Unsportsmanlike Conduct Award we got Rose, Lesbian Vampire Killer and Skinny Dipper. Dawn Raid slipped on LVK’s hash name and joined in. AC/DC and Dizzy were both caught leaning, and AC/CD doubled his award for wearing Bedouin headgear.

Sassygirl nominated Tammi for the Sexual Harassment Award for being untowards direct to a waiter, while Larry took a Humiliation Award and voluntarily handed over 4 chocolate ├ęclairs to Sassygirl. Slippery had been shopping and had a Sassy Chick tanktop for Sassygirl and a Wahoo shirt (something about Wahoo Tacos – rather unappealing) – Poumuli accepted on her behalf. Dawn Raid, who was looking distinctly worse for wear (and it got worse) and was caught leaning. Captain Mortein was caught trying to dob Pirate Princess for Cellphonus Interruptus. A Numeracy Award went to SOTB for getting the blog wrong on what hash number we were at, and Poumuli added in Slippery for being unable to select t-shirt sizes.

BB tried to nominate Dawn Raid and Poumuli for a Blasphemy Award, but revenge was sweet as the Hash voted BB for a Religious Persecution Award. Captain Mortein received the brunt of his Lady’s wrath for Child Endagerment – giving beer to the little one, calling wife, etc. Kiwi showed up and not only got the Latercomer Award, but also the Fashion Award. BB nominated Poumuli for the Sweet Brother Award for looking high and low for the damned t-shirt Dawn Raid was wearing. Snake attempted to speak but had lost his voice so received a Lame Award himself.

Larry noted that the trail had been well marked but shortcutters were in evidence – Lesbian Vampire Killer, Dawn Raid, AC/DC, Poumuli and Slippery. Kiwi made a late nomination for the Worst Driver and Navigator Awards to Dawn Raid and AC/DC.

The GM called for a Catch-Up Award to all those who had interrupted the circle with cellphones – AC/DC, Lesbian Vampire Killer, Skinny Dipper and Chilindrina. BB lamented how Vailima had not picked up last Hash’s keg for a week and as a result they were robbed – Crash was the closest living relative to Vailima so he accepted the award. Dizzy then nominated Tony Blair for the Pocket Billiards Award for playing with himself in the circle, although he should have joined the award for perving Tony Blair.

The Hosts and Hare were roundly thanked and the birthday song rendered in English and Samoan, before we descended on the sumptuous feast.

Next week’s Hash will be at Mr. and Mrs. Whippy’s house.

On On,


Friday, November 13, 2009

Hash Trash- Run 1491

Hash trash 1491

The Scribe is back from a long deportation abroad. He was too jet-lagged to go on the run, but from all accounts it was an enjoyable one.

So on to the circle. Strangler was GM, and found no newbies in the circle. Many rethreads – Poumuli, Kiwi, Ray Charles, Brian. New boots were checked by Mad Hatter but none were found – the customary down down for the boot checker was somewhat not rewarded. Meanwhile a local dog had found a discarded beer mug and did her own down down.

The GM awarded Chilindria with the Crash Award, something to do with a car and “an idiot”. After completing her award she spilled Godfather’s beer, but again unrewarded. Birthday awards were given to Lesbian Vampire Killer who was joined by Delicious in a very close race.

The GM, spotting two closely dressed hash meres awarded the Twins Award to Delicious and Soleless, who while claiming to promoting safe sex were only doing so for New Zealand. Watch out sheep.

Opening the deliberations to the floor, SOTB quickly nominated Dawn Raid for hitting on another Hashers girlfriend. To his defence he mumbled that he to this day has not been able to ascertain what her name is.

Sassygirl nominated Larry for not only writing to the Editor, but for also getting a furious response from the SWA CEO. Larry demanded, and got, Bits and Pieces and Tony Blair to join him. Sassygirl continued with a Bribery Award for Larry and Mandy over some paper issue, not quite clear.

The GM announced that since a certain Hasher was leaving Samoa he should get a Safe Sex Award with Delicious and Soleless – step down Brian. The GM also noted that a hash meres absence from previous hashe, and something about thunderous activities. Anyway, Screamer had no comment.

Swinger nominated BB for the Geographically Challenged Award over the direction of the trail. Poumuli nominated Larry and SOTB for the Empty Threat Award over their comments on the blog.

Living up to ones hash name is a prestigious award, but as the GM noted Soleless had actually been legless at the last hash to the point of needing to be hosed down. Larry who has moved in next to SPREP nominated Poumuli for the Cruelty To Animals Award for chucking stones at some charging dogs. Won’t happen again. Next time – Taser!

Lewinsky received a Pollution Award for “watering” the hosts plants, and thus poisoning the host. The circle was not done with Larry as Eveready got him the Machete in Own Leg Award. Sassygirl and Tammy had attended a yoga class, after which Zsa Zsa had made a completely ballsed up comment about a yoga position that cannot be repeated. SOTB followed with a question about who dresses Tony Blair and a Leaning Award for Brian. Child Abuse Awards was given to Karaoke for burning Delicious forehead. Eveready and Karaoke deflected a Special Hostfulness Award by getting the circle to toast the memory of Shafter.

Finally, the host and the hare were profusely thanked before we descended on the great spread of food.

Next week’s Hash will be at Larry and Mandy’s house up in Vailima next to the SPREP compound.

On On


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Hash Run 1492 - 16 Nov - Larry and Mandy @ Vailima

HI Gang,
Hash next week will be hosted by Larry and Mandy at their home in Vailima. It is also Larry and Mr Whippy's Birthday. Fingers Crossed, the water is running come Monday.
Head up the cross island road and take the road SPREP is on. Its the house before the SPREP compound on the right. Follow the map if you get lost.

On On

Friday, November 06, 2009

Hash Run - 9th Nov - BB & Swinger at Siusega

Next Weeks run will be hosted by Swinger and BB. They have kindly offered to host seeing as we are a little low on people hosting runs. The run starts from Swinger and BB's home in Siusega (yay, more hills) and starts normal time at 1730.

On On

Monday, November 02, 2009

Hash Run 02 Nov 2009

Todays run will be in Siusega at Seema the Screamer's house...This will be a BYO Sausage Sizzle, so bring along some bangers or bread or onions and we can have a quick feed. The Keg will be provided by Hash and there is a pool there too..for those who fancy a dip. Snake, if you could bring your trusty BBQ please.

Run starts normal time @ 1730 hrs.

On On