Monday, May 30, 2016

Hash Run 1829

The Hash will be hosted by Proboner, POD and Lewinsky as well as the Happies at Taumeasina. Run starts at 5.30 PM. Bring your Hash Cash of 20 tala and swimgear if you want to jump in the sea after the run.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1828

Hash 16 May 2016
Hosted by Ill Capo - no scripture seems to have eventuated, but we must surely record the naming of Black Swan, Firstcummer, Loose Lips, Pusiapa, Angry Bird and little Marco Polo.

Hash 23 May 2016
With Pumouli still overseas and yours truly just returned, it seemed the right thing to do to volunteer as the scribe we couldnt possibly have two more runs off the record!
This hash was at Eveready and Karaokes place, and the theme pink as usual there. What was unusual was the length of the run: 9km set! We started a bit late, and so most of us took a shorter route to return before dark when the nuts and keg were waiting.
The grand circle counted 33 heads, with newcomers Prue and Barry from EnZed, Screamer from Oz, and Ruby, Grace, Sarah and Connor from the YouKay, plus Wendy from the YouEsOfA? It proved worthwhile to have trained introducees in hash rules, as HotNuts had to take a double and ACDC a single for their non-hash names being used in vain by these newcomers.
Many retreads this month: ACDC, Godfather, Karaoke, Eveready, Mr Whippy and Prince in all excuses their families played a big role as you would expect. Shoe inspector Firstcummer did not take long to point the finger at Cunning Linguists whose neon laces had already provoked much glee before. In the absence of Pomouli, any relevant historic events were simply ignored.
Sort-of celebrities were the Joseph Parker and referee lookalikes Prince and Godfather, a car crash pointed the finger at Crash, a suicide-by-??? to Swinger and TV appearance by Devine were all good for down-downs, as was Strapon for some obscure reason. Referring to the Rugby 7s, Sarah appeared most closely linked to Scotland and Godfather to Fiji, although ACDC got a downdown relating to my history whatever that item in my notes means.
Nominations from the floor came from Il Capo to Eveready for setting an impossibly long run which had however been set by Crash; yet-to-be-named Phil for being a bad artist (having his elei printing destroyed by the housekeeper rather than him ironing it himself); and for Swinger for ignoring the run-setters shout that he was going the wrong way.
Sassygirl nominated Firstcummer and GM for noisy wining and dining, which was reciprocated to Sassygirl for her liking the shapes of empty winebottles too much. What do we make of this, I wonder!
Firstcummer nominated a three musketeers award to Godfather, HotNuts and Swinger for rescuing some of her Marguerita that went flying, the glass with ¼ content caught by Godfather and some of the spilt juice being licked off thighs by HotNuts  - who gave an impressive theatrical impression of what had gone on in the public eye. And Swinger? He had gallantly footed the bill
Sassygirl also nominated Black Swan as the longest person standing at a party and then wanting to take a taxi in pursuit of a friendly driver to go out with. Il Capo nominated Lewinsky for no longer wanting to drink beer, but his drinking of wine resulting in dangerous movements towards the loo his effort to reciprocate with a peeping Tom award failed. Mr Whippy nominated Crime for the Good Samaritan award, ie for reminding of the all-important pink outfit. Lewinsly nominated Eveready and Karaoke for setting a bad example by leaving their weed out to dry which is a Crime of course. Apparently It was an experiment! Well this was all going on a bit long but whatever.
Hops got a double downdown for firstly not stepping forward as a retread and secondly for forgetting his hash name when paying hash cash! Was it really that long ago (or Alzheimers)? - but at least he paid. Sassygirl nominated Screamer (from Oz) as an imposter for our own absent Screamer.
Eveready then took the floor to announce the birth of his granddaughter Maya (number four, plus a grandson but he admitted losing track of). A head-wetting toast was combined with that for the Hare (Crash) and both hosts (Eveready and Karaoke).

But it wasnt over yet, as all those not wearing any pink (in honour of the hosts daughter Luanna, whose favourite colour this had been) got to do a few push-ups, another opportunity for HutNuts to show off while some others suffered. Upon complementing Delicious on looking deliciously slim, Godfather did a swash performance of our favourite Wise men say.. in a tight circle of swinging singers. One to remember if it wasnt for all those down-downs!

On On
Cunning Linguist

Monday, May 23, 2016

Today's Run - Eveready & Karaeoke @ Lotopa

Talofa lava Hashmen and Meres

Today's run will be hosted by Eveready & Karaeoke from their home at Lotopa. Run will start promptly at 5.30pm. Bring your hash cash of SAT20.00 and your good sense of humor.

Theme is PINK!!! 

For the newbies - take the westbound road like you're heading to the airport. After the Mormon Temple at  Pesega, turn left at the next set of lights just before the blue roofed fales at Lepea. Approx 500meters on your left is Delicious Cakes with other shops. Turn left after this building and drive to the end  to the venue.



Monday, May 09, 2016

Hash Run 1828

The mothers day hash run will start at 4pm on Monday May 9th May at the new Malololelei reserve (see map below).

Take the Cross-Island Road past the Bahai temple and then turn off on Kelsey Lane (huge sign for a Catholic Church). Continue straight, past church compound and keep going as the road turns to dirt road. The compound is at the end of the road where it takes a sharp left turn. It is quite a ways in.

Hot Nuts and Swinger will be the hosts and will put on a wee BBQ so bring your hash cash and a change of clothes in case of rain…

This is a run not to be missed by nature lovers and lovers of birds and bees, flowers and trees…


 Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1827

And verily it came to pass, that on the ordained day, at the ordained hour, or thereabouts, the Hash was to be hosted by Strapon at his place in Papauta, a village of holy souls. And as the host appeared, clad in only a loincloth that is called a lava lava, there were murmurings and admirative glances from the Hash Meres, wanton hussies all, and yeay, the call went forth for the Monty that is full to be shown. Being thus inconvenienced, he had entrusted his trusty yeoman Nom Nom to set the trail. An Nom Nom had verily done so, swearing upon it upon all that is holy, yet the trail had been washed away, Nom Nom not being familiar with the divining of the weather, or look out the window. To the accompaniment of much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the pack began commencing the parade of bruised toes. The trail that had been washed away led down the hill, over and into the halls of greater learning by the university that is national. On and on we ran until finally we went past a Hall of the Latter Days and a path was made to the river. As it was of Jordanian proportions, the crossing was as much fraught as it was invigorating. Finally we spotted the road to Strapon’s abode and all was good, with Godfather’s juicy nuts on display.

Hot Nuts had to step in as the GM. New to Hash were Alex from Austria and Sarah from Italy. Their inductees were given a down down as the rules for names usage had been ignored. The retreads were Kieran, Strapon, Godfather, Titty Galore and Gianluca, all joined by the GM for name usage.
There were no celebrities as Your Scribe had been overseas, but This Day in History Awards went to Il Capo and Sara (1945 – Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci are executed by a firing squad consisting of members of the Italian resistance movement), Godfather (1947 – Thor Heyerdahl and five crew mates set out from Peru on the Kon-Tiki to prove that Peruvian natives could have settled Polynesia – GF was mates with him), Lewinsky (1998 – A federal judge in Sacramento, California, gives "Unabomber" Theodore Kaczynski four life sentences plus 30 years after Kaczynski accepts a plea agreement sparing him from the death penalty), Witch Doctor (2012 – A pastel version of The Scream, by Norwegian painter Edvard Munch, sells for $120 million in a New York City auction, setting a new world record for a work of art at auction), Swinger (Feast Day of St James the Less), Snake (World Day for Safety and Health at Work) and Poumuli (World Press Freedom Day).

Opening up for nominations, Kat nominated the GM for slamming into her at the river crossing. Poumuli had Nom Nom join her for Hashmanlike Behaviour for charging across the river with no heed for helping the females. This was added to in that he had been chatting up the female shop keepers along the route, trying to sell his nuts.

Godfather had been in Fiji and had a great meet up with Sexpot, Desperate Housewife and Screamer, none of whom run with Suva Hash after trying it once and finding it wanting. Cunning Linguist took this one.

Il Capo nominated the GM for surrounding himself with women, although he claimed that with a name like Hot Nuts it is hard to be irresistible. Gianluca nominated one of those women, Sara, for being in Samoa for 4 years and only coming to Hash now. On the subject of years, Poumuli nominated Snake for the Library Award, not returning his book for 6 years.
Alex nominated Swinger for his starring role in a recent movie, sporting a Selleck moustache. Titty G got a cellphonus interruptus and Crime was leaning. Strapon was brought into the centre so Godfather could express his pride in his accomplishment, which latecummers Pod and Lewinsky joined. Strapon called for ANZAC Day to be better celebrated by Hash, even though last week had seen to that. Nom Nom, Shitbags and Strapon took this one. Lewinsky had been desperately trying to get a military guy nominated but failed to account for the GM’s deafness. Thus Poumuli was able to get an Incompetent Dob Award to Lewinsky.

The GM then wanted a Hanging Around Award – there had been no hare, no keg, no monk, so Alex and Jill took this one, with the GM joining for not acknowledging the substantially sized nuts brought by Godfather. Strapon had cellphonus, while Swinger wanted to have his service in defence of the tattooed noted – he was bitten by a dog while getting additional beer.

Sara nominated Il Capo and Gianluca for only dragging her to hash after 4 years, while Godfather gave a Recognition Award to Swinger and Strapon for BB’s hospitality in Suva. The GM nominated himself for Hashmanlike Behaviour for getting pissed last Hash when he had a late night skype call coming. Lewinsky gave a Heroes Award to Titty G for organising the beer, Witch Doctor for driving, and himself for screwing that up in the first place.

Sassy had of course been broken into recently, but the cops got the guy, so Crime took the Criminals Award. Witch Doctor nominated Poumuli for the Angry Award for yelling at her from Auckland. Kat nominated Nom Nom for laughing at her when she fell in the river. Sassy got Kieran one for being quiet, and Vicky for leaning.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit