Monday, December 30, 2013

Tonight's Run #1706

How's everyone's livers surviving the festive season??
Tonight's run is at OTR - the home of Apia Hash, Elle Mac Jnr will be organising a buffet for the food - so tonight's event will cost $35 for the food and the beer - what great value!!
Run starts @ 1800 so we hope to see you all there

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Hash Trash 1705

The Hash was hosted by Full Moon and Manwhore at their place in Vaigaga. The Scribe is still largely immobile and only got as far the pizza place on the corner. But apparently a fine run had been set by Crime through the streets of Vaitele with a shortcut that no one would have found. 

Back at the Bayview Sassygirl BJ stepped in as GM. There were many newbies – Fergal (from Northern Ireland) and Elle who are visiting Slim Shady, Mark and Deirdry the parents of one of the hosts, and Jolan who was a friend of Frid. Thus after the newbies had taken their down down, the following had to step up for not sharing the rules appropriately with their newbies – Manwhore, Da Head, Full Moon, Overstayer and One Infection.

Rethreads were Slim Shady, BB and Swingers brother. Swinger had to step in as shoe inspector, failed, so joined in with a down down. Celebrity Awards went to Slim Shady, One Infection and Lewinsky for stories in the paper entirely unrelated to them but which were found to be close living relatively.

This Day in History Awards went to Manwhore (1956 – Colo, the first gorilla born in captivity), Lewinsky (1979 – first European Ariane rocket is launched), One Infection (1994 – Mexican volcano Popoctepl erupts gases and ash), Lewinsky (1998 Clinton is impeached for lying about Lewinsky).
The GM was quick off the mark in targeting the Scribe for not running, however he was able to do mocking Bollywood moves – Poumuli. The a Lucky Bastard Award went to Fergal for going on his honeymoon with two girls. And he made the men in green proud with this downing.

In honour of the great job the cops are doing in clamping down on drink driving, she gave a Cramping Our Style Award to Godfather. Twin Peaks was dobbed in for getting the names muddled up. Then Wahoo was dobbed in for getting what she wanted – a brand new car. Finally BB got a GM’s Award for leading her astray at Farmer Joe’s.

On the run, Lewinsky told us that Godfather had needed to relieve himself (we were not told if 1’s or 2’s) and had been cheered by the girls. So apparently a challenge of sorts was laid down, with the result that both Godfather and Overstayer got a down down.

Slim Shady had been impressed by the positive messaging from a fellow hash mere espousing all sorts of health and healthy lifestyles issues, only to establish a menagerie of cocktail animals at a recent outing. Sassy got the Health (Not) Guru Award.

Swinger quickly riposted with an accusation that Slim Shady was not giving appropriate cultural briefs for visitors, as Fergal was overheard commenting on Godfather’s lowly patterned shorts! Poumuli then had a Fail for trying to make something out of Sassy’s anniversary. Swinger was successful in getting Crime an award for setting an 8 km run, while Manwhore managed to get back at the whingeing Poms for winning the Ashes – Swinger et frères.

The Hosts and the Hare were saluted. Then Fergal stepped back in to the circle to thank Hash for its hospitality and the common bond of rugby. When Godfather mentioned that Samoans were the Irish of the Pacific we had to get One Infection to join Fergal in a final award. Er, not yet, one more for Overstayer for advertising.

Watch the blog for next week’s run.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Hash Run 1705

Talofa lava Hashmen and Hash Meres - [Run commences @ 1800hrs ma'ai]

Today's run will be at Vaigaga, close to the home of the world class beer VAILIMA! 
Head westward from Apia to Vaigaga and turn right just before the two storey building housing Cecilia Keil's Fashion House. There is also a signage saying Bayview Nursery and continue to the end of the driveway till you spot a lot of cars lol!!!

If you have driven past Vailima Breweries then you have gone too far! Call someone for help like on 7574250!!

Bring some change as the weather looks a bit dodgy and we do not want any of you catching a cold before the big events!!

Bring your $20 as well! The hosts will be laying on the food!


Hash Run 1704

Even though we were having the first run after the 1700th run, this was technically speaking run 1704. Please note that DVDs from the 1700th run are available from Hash Flash – Slippery.

We were hosted at the last minute by Lewinsky at On the Rocks, and Tallyho set out as live hare. Your Scribe did not join the run, having ruined his knee trying to emulate the bollywood dancing of Screamer at the SPREP party. But from the viscous streams of sweat pouring off the returning Hashers it sure seemed like it was a hearty run.

The GM called the circle to order and the first order of business was the numbering sequence of the run. No one but Tallyho had an objection, thus the GM declared runs 1701, 1702 and 1703 to be leap year runs. The upshot of that was that anyone who was alive between 1701 and 1703 got a down down – Tallyho step forward.

There were no newbies and the rethreads were Rachael (busy), Haleck (overseas) and Vera (ditto). The GM then launched into a rather unsavoury story of a Hasher having too many down downs last week, and couldn’t keep it all in, as it were, so for the crime of peeing the pants and expecting to ride inside the GM’s car, Crime gets the No Spillim Pispis Blong Yu I Go Olbaot Award.

Celebrity awards went to Poumuli (climate change story in Observer), Julia Gillard (guest at Bluesky do) and Godfather (only person with a Vailima in hand at the NZ High Commission function photo). This Day in History Awards went to Tallyho (1642 – Abel Tasman becomes first European to land in New Zealand, and of course Tallyho was next), Slippery as closest living relative (1892 – Premiere performance of The Nutcracker by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in Saint Petersburg, Russia), Godfather (1970 – Soviet spacecraft Venera 7 successfully land on Venus. It is the first successful soft landing on another planet – any other examples of soft landings?), Lewinsky (1976 – Western Samoa becomes a member of the United Nations) and Blowfish (Feast Day of St Lucy).

Tallyho then fanfared us with the entry of the Hash Shrine. There were no stolen baby shoes this week, nothing to go in really. But as Karen had been bitten by a dog on the run, Tallyho sprinkled some of Overstayer’s mystical powders on the Shrine. In the end Slippery donated a 1700 Run DVD to the Shrine. Poumuli had been saving a beer can from Poland for Lewinsky that he claimed was evidence of Lewinsky’s advertising. The GM put this to a vote, so a Kemlewski Award was given. Fang then recounted how the Snakepit crew had given Poumuli a lift from the airport, and how a frustrated Poumuli had yelled at a car stopping for little reason – yield does not mean surrender! Anyway the Road Rage Award was taken by both.

Overstayer wanted Full Moon to have an award for the, eh, full moon, but it went back to her as closest living relative. Lewinsky, having got his breath back, recounted how Rufie had gone fishing but had brought no gaffe, and requested Lewinsky to bring one to Sassy’s to connect. He had gotten lots of fish, but then had brought no ice, so a further request to Lewinsky. There was some debate as to whether this was a situation of superman vs. stupidity, and in the end both of them got a double.

Latecummer Titty Galore was joined by Godfather in a down down for delaying the start of the run. The GM wanted to give Manwhore a down down for the Ashes, but Tallyho objected as this was not yet lost and that this was premature information. Nevertheless a Chronicle of A Death Foretold Award went to Manwhore. Lewinsky had gone to the Bluebird promotion, and had spotted a picture of Santa with Rufie’s baby on one knee and Rufie on the other. Not sure what to make of that disturbing imagery. Witch Doctor gave Cockblocker an award for accepting a nipple twist at the SPREP party.

Haleck was spotted sitting, and finally Poumuli nominated Spellcheck for an award as the latest version of Microsoft Spellcheck came out today (Spellcheck, this is basically going to happen every week).

Next week’s run will be hosted by Manwhore and Full Moon
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Monday, December 16, 2013

Tonight's Run #1701

Talofa Lava Hash Men & Meri's
Apologies for the late notice, as everyone is still caught up way to much in the Christmas spirit....
Tonight's run will be a BYO @ OTR commencing @ 1800hrs (or 6pm for uneducated)
Look forward to seeing you there, suggest you all bring a towel and a change of clothes  - think the rain might just get us tonight.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Hash Trash 1700 and Christmas Run

Once upon a time on an island far away, Christmas was fast approaching and not a mouse was stirring, coz it was too bloody hot and humid. Many fine traditions are celebrated – none so more elaborately mismanaged and wacky than the Apia Hash House Harriers Christmas Run. While it coincided with the 1700th Run, it would be more apt to call it an amble. Unlike in years past, the Hash had always been led by the Fire truck but not this year unfortunately. Being a resourceful advertising chap, the GM decked out his Ford with boughs of plastic holly and other tralalala accoutrements. Calling for adults to supervise the children, not adults acting like children the grand parade set off from the ophidian compound known as the Snakepit. Indeed he has a useful name, as these creatures are often described as elongated legless ectothermic squamates, and your Scribe understands that this state was reached with serendipity. Anyway, this boisterous parade ambled along to Amanaki where bemused locals and somewhat horrified tourists were regaled by the first stanzas of Tallyho’s witty (and mostly smutty) Christmas Carols. Of course the accompaniment by Godfather on ukulele belittled the grandeur of the occasion not a jot. Having cleansed our throats, we then set off to On The Rocks, which caused some confusion as we had been told we were going to visit respectable establishment. But while old age pensioners surely enjoy the warbling caterwauling of visiting kindergarten choirs, so the grumpy old sods in attendance at OTR sat up and took notice with some of the more tone deaf trying to join in. There is indeed something special about this time of year.

On we went to Paddles and YNot, whence the confusion of tourists was made even greater as we delved into the 12 Days of Christmas – although with Godfather that ended at 10. Perhaps he was self-censoring, perhaps his plucky fingers got cramped, or maybe he was just thirsty. Tis all part of the mystery of a Hash Yuletide. Final stop was the panoramic wharf bar, by which point the singing was way too loud, the Christmas hats sweaty. The amble back to the Snakepit went a bit faster, and a few extremely coarse rugby songs were given rendition by Poumuli, until slapped silly by Wahoo.
The GM eventually assembled the throng into a semblance of a circle, and announced that he would try and keep this short. He started with the Trail of the Year Award, which was held shortly after Cyclone Evan, and required ropes and handholding, and a soft landing methinks. This went to Witch Doctor, who tried to implicate her brother but to no avail. The Run of the Year Award went to Eveready and Karaoke for the finest Pink Run to date.

Speaking of Lewinsky, the GM was at odds and ends about the Prick of the Year Award. In past years someone has continuously sabotaged the vote meter that SOTB installed, giving Lewinsky several hundred votes when we only have about 120 on the books. Anyhow, the GM decided that for making an utter arse of himself, One Infection should get this award, naturally handed out in the tit cup, which he proceeded to lasciviously lick.

Parent of the Year Award went to the dad who brought his small kids on the run, lost them once, left them in a bar to go chat up some ladies, absolute hashman like behaviour from Seismic. And on that note the GM saluted the closest living relative of SOTB, Sassygirl BJ with a special award.
The rethreads were represented by the Snake family – Snake, Fang, Venom and Snakebite. Mismanagement was asked to come in and take a bow – POD, Poumuli, Lewinsky, Sassy, Godfather and Titty Galore.

This Day in History Awards went to Godfather (1962 – The Petrified Forest National Park is established in Arizona – and he had admitted being petrified of down downs), Poumuli (1997 – The Kyoto Protocol opens for signature – Poumuli negotiated that piece of crap), Slippery (Feast Day of St Richard), Tallyho (International Anti-Corruption Day) and Hot Nuts (Human Rights Day).

The Apia Hash Mad Monk then appeared and called on Russell and Kate to assume the position. Kate had been spotted skinny dipping at Taumeasina under the moonlight, and shall hence forth be known as Full Moon.
Russell of course plays with Full Moon, but was seen chatting up some Filipinas, so henceforth he shall be known as Manwhore.

The nagging petitioning by Dumas for a new name was finally acquiesced to, and in recognition of his persistent difficulties with grammatical correctness, he shall now be known as Spellcheck.

Sassy then nominated those Hashers Who Come But Once A Year for a down down, Soprano, Kiwi, Richard for Uncle Fred (who donated 1700 to the Hash Charity instead) and Rottweiler. Tallyho was also nominated for the Great Santa, Not Award.
The Angry Bird was back, and this time the award went to the year’s angriest Hasher, who had defiled the Hash Shrine and smashed the Shit of the Week Award, none other than Cockblocker. 

Speaking of the Hash Shrine, Tallyho added in a little boot that had been left behind, and noted that this was bad parenting. When no parent rushed to claim, Luana did so, resulting in a down down for Cougar, joined by Tallyho for stealing from a child.
A special salute was given to Uncle Fred for his continuing support, and he offered to pray for another 1700 runs. Sassy finally nominated the GM for his hard work, joined by Gayboy for designing the new shirts. The hosts and the caterers were saluted before we had our Christmas Feast.
Check the blog for next week’s run.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Sunday, December 08, 2013

1700th & Xmas Run - 9th December 2013

Talofa lava o mighty hares and meres of AHHH!!!

Another milestone has been reached in the history of Hash House Harriers in our paradise..over 32 years of running the Hash!

We look forward to seeing you all tomorrow with your christmas carols (emailed out recently by the wise one, Tallyho)  and dressed up for the run to some  of our well and truly established watering holes.

Run will depart the Snakepit, across the road from Lotemau Centre at 1800hrs, that is 6pm for the others! Run will be led by the fire truck with Santa and his/her elves so do make sure you are on time.

Tshirts for the occasion will be available for sale for a small fee. You will need to bring money for the food which is being catered at SAT25/head, absolutely no sorry stories or excuses! Hash cash will also be collected or may be waived by Mismanagement depending on the collective mood lol!


On  On


Thursday, December 05, 2013

1700th / Christmas Run

Hey guys - just a reminder from Snake for everyone to catch a taxi to his place for Monday nights run - Apparently this message goes out every year for nobody to listen to, but given we are getting 4 or 5 kegs, probably a sound suggestion!!!
On On

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

1700th & XMAS RUN - 9th December 2013

Talofa lava everyone

Whilst this may be a rather late message - its the way we roll in hash mismanagement in case you have forgotten, please give an indication of whether you will participate next monday 9th for catering purposes as well as Tshirts numbers... email if u will be joining us... preferrably before Monday? lol

Run will be from the Snake pit.

On on Sassy

Monday, November 25, 2013

Run 1699.69 - @ Talofa Inn, Saleufi with Witch Doctor

"Run 1600.75" - @ Talofa Inn

Tonight's run is being hosted by Witch Dr and she is graciously putting on the spread. In even better news, Imelda the Welder will be joining us this evening.
The run will be at the Talofa Inn - opposite Lucky Foodtown on the Ace Hardware side. Run starts @ 1800
On On

Monday, November 18, 2013

Run 1699.5

Morning Fellow Hashers - Tonight's run will be a BYO @ Crime's place just near Apia Park.  To spice things up a little bit, there will be a game of soccer, touch rugby or you can go and put yourself through the paces on the running track if you are feeling like blowing out the cobwebs from the weekend. Don't forget the new e-mail address for any mishaps  Remember your $20 and see you there by 1800 - ON ON

Monday, November 11, 2013

Email address for Apia HHH

Hey there fellow Hashers,
Due to the constant feats of stupidity that we seem to conduct on a daily basis, I thought it only pertinent that we have a way of documenting such acts as they occur.  I have just set up an email address which you can forward such acts of stupidity straight away.  Not only will this save you from forgetting what you just saw in the haze of tomorrow's hangover, it will ensure that we have got an entertaining and up to date circle which allows us to make sure that Lewinsky, Rufi, One Infection and Transporter don't get away with anything.  Put the address in your smart phones and let the good times begin!!

Run 1699 - Russell & Overstayer @ Vaigaga

Talofa lava Hashmen and Hash Meres - [Run commences @ 1800hrs ma'ai]

Today's run will be at Vaigaga, close to the home of the world class beer VAILIMA PURE! 
Head westward from Apia to Vaigaga and turn right just before the two storey building housing Cecilia Keil's Fashion House. There is also a signage saying Bayview Nursery and continue to the end of the driveway till you spot a lot of cars lol!!!

If you have driven past Vailima Breweries then you have gone too far! Call someone for help like on 7574250!!

Bring some change as the weather looks a bit dodgy today and we do not want any of you catching a cold before the big events!!

Bring your $20 as well! Overstayer and Russell will be laying on the kaikai!

And just to confuse you newbies further...herewith are the directions from Honourable Kevin Rudd:
Directions: heading out of town turn right off vaitele rd in Vaigaga at a small white sign which says 'bayview enterprises' (there is a chinese shop with a carpark leading back from the road on the corner).. about 100m along the rough dirt road is a compound on the right with a big green fence and small guardhouse with a green roof. Russ will have a good idea where to park cars. Russ and Kate's hosting house for bathroom etc is the first unit on the right through the gate, the circle will convene under our double garage right opposite (first unit on the left).


Sunday, November 10, 2013

Hash Trash 1698

Greetings from Warsaw, which is cold and shitty, but your Scribe will test the Hash here. The Hash was hosted by Lewinsky at On the Rocks, since Witch Doctor had to postpone. It was a live hare run, with Tallyho leading the pack on over to Vaimea, through to Crabbers and through the mangroves, on back from Mulinuu, in an eventful run that your Scribe had to miss due to going to the airport. The GM was absent so POD stepped in. 

There was a newbie, Cathrine, who had been brought by Godfather. The rethreads were many, Skunk, Sassygirl BJ, Lowrider, Ozzy Osbourne and Da Head. Twin Peaks was appointed Shoe Inspector, at which he failed badly so he took the award himself.

Celebrity Awards went to Crime ( a crime had been committed) and Poumuli (news story about pole being removed from Poumuli Street).

This Day in History Awards went to Rufie (1847 – Sir James Young Simpson, a British physician, discovers the anaesthetic properties of chloroform), Granny Smith for Sexpot who is closest living to Zsa Zsa (1956 – Soviet troops enter Hungary to end the Hungarian revolution against the Soviet Union, that started on October 23. Thousands are killed, more are wounded, and nearly a quarter million leave the country) and Tallyho (Guy Fawkes Night).

The GM in her mild manner turned on Rufie, whilst Lewinsky provided the photo evidence of a baby bath being used as a beer cooler while Blowfish was away. Attempts at blaming Blowfish for putting there failed in avoiding a Parent of the Week Award.

Transporter was awarded for not living up to Hashname for leaving Lowrider stranded on the sea wall. In a bizarre story, Goldfinger had broken a hand while delivering a baby, and was joined by One Infection for reasons known only to the GM.

Opening up for nominations, Poumuli quickly nominated Lewinsky for not being in this day in history (he isn’t most weeks, but nevermind). Sassy nominated Witch Doctor for not informing Hashers individually of the change of venue, but was voted to join her when the rationale was explained. Granny Smith then nominated Da Head for something the rest of us couldn’t hear.

Lewinsky, in a déjà vu story, wanted to nominate Rufie for the worst gaff ever, as he had basically gaffed the caught fish off the lure. Methinks we have heard something like this before. Anyway, the vote went for both of them to take this award.
Da Head had received a call on the weekend from a fellow hasher begging him to pick up his wife for him at the airport. When Da Head demurred, he was informed, “and she is horny”. Wife Selling Award to Rufie. Transporter then had a brain fart and wanted to tell a story about Lewinsky and Elle McJr, but thought the better of it and remained silent. The Mutually Assured Destruction Award went to Transporter.

Sassy launched into a lecture about the cyclone season and the fact that On the Rocks was not secure, but Da Head took this one. Latecummer Seismic was greeted into the circle, upon which Poumuli opined that he was wearing the shirt of Sam, so he joined him in the award for Ethnic Profiling.
One Infection told a tale of a wild drunken party at On The Rocks, followed by more drinking at an office after party, at which Da Head had confessed his crush on One’s sister. This was then followed up by Da Head with said sister, with the expectant party watching the proceedings on the security camera, in which Da Head proclaims that they should just be friends. BFF Award.

Sassy gave a Solidarity Award to Titty Galore, Ozzy, Catherine, Skunk and Crime for not getting an award. Seismic got the Triathlon Achievement Award, while Tallyho brought forth the Hash Shrine. This time he added something from the Tafatafa run, and toodled off.

Check the blog for next week’s run.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Monday, November 04, 2013


Hey everyone, Witchdoctor has got some amazing news and Imelda is coming home this afternoon!!!
Subsequently given their need to get home and sorted, we will now change the venue to OTR.  It will have to be a BYO run and I hope that we can get a volunteer live hare!!  On On JG

Friday, November 01, 2013

Hash Run 1698

The Hash will be hosted by Witch Doctor at the Talofa Inn in Apia. It is located just opposite Lucky's Foodtown, and the entrance is just before Ace Hardware when travelling from the Clock Tower past McDonalds.
The run will start at 6 PM, bring your 20 tala Hash Cash, and the host will put on the spread.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1697

The Hash was hosted by Poumuli, Wahoo, Amalia and Witch Doctor at the new residence off Bank Street. After a lot of useless round about driving the Hash finally found their way to the place. Some people cant read! Poumuli had had a mishap in setting the trail, nearly de-butting himself, so the best laid plan remained unlaid. Instead the pack was sent off on the familiar route down Bank Street, cow pastures, over the ford, past SPREP and up the Cross Island Road. The sweaty pack was welcomed by Godfather's sweet nuts which for some reason have become rather small.

Julia Gillard was present as GM and called the circle to order. There were no newbies so we went straight to rethreads - these were Houdini, Overstayer, Twin Peaks, Zsa Zsa and Hunter. Godfather was asked to do the shoe inspection and was mesmerized by Lewinsky's glimmering shoes. For the first time in living memory Lewinsky skulled quite quick, so we should change his vessel of choice in the future.
Launching into his awards, the GM asked One Infection to elaborate (which indeed he did) on aspects of the Hash Wedding. To cut a long story short (which he didnt) Ali bin Shaggin asked for advice on how to explain his hashname (unofficial) to his wife by two of the drunkest, loutish, incoherent Hashers available, yet the honeymoon was a success. So for Dear Judy Advice Award Godfather, One Infection got a down down. Transporter quickly nominated Ali for making his wife drink the award. Ali by the way was the team doctor for the visiting Norway cricket team, made up entirely of Pakistanis.

The GM then turned on Rufie, as is his wont, and asked about the whereabouts of Blowfish and the rather odious odour emanating from his vehicle. A Dr Crippen Award to the Remain Silent Rufie.

We all know that the GM has a day job, selling crap vehicles to unsuspecting passer-bys, and he had received a call from one such frantic hasher, asking why his car was making a weird sound and what was the red light about. Take The F'ing Handbrake Off Award to Sexpot.

Latecummers Cougar, Crash and Dumas were welcomed. Another tawdry tale was then recounted whereby the GM had been celebrating Mrs GM's birthday and a lot of visiting ladies of a mature age - cougars - had been entertained by the prancing dance moves of Prince, even in front of his own brother in laws. Overstayer tried to add to the award but stuffed it up.

Further decline of the Hash circle was then confirmed when Desperate Housewife was asked to yodel, and she did. Also at this party Lewinsky had been too drunk to drive, so he took one for making POD drive.

Celebrity Awards went to the GM, DH, Sexpot, Tallyho and Poumuli. The ex-GM had sent over some quaint Australian car stickers. Suffice it to say, Drinking Legend went to Rufie, Blowjob to Sassy, Amateur Gynecologist to One Infection and Penis Control to Lewinsky, albeit that POD should really have that one.

Poumuli nominated the GM for the Asinine Advertising Award, then Ali gave a lengthy speech basically saying he is inviting all the Hashers to his next wedding in Paris.One Infection tried to use his new OB/GYN sign to check if there was a baby yet, so eventually we had a group dd of Ali, Godfather, Dumas and Petesa.

Cougar got Lewinsky for stopping by and after smelling food cooking staying on to feed, One Infection and Lewinsky for the menu at On the Rocks.

Sexpot is leaving us, so we were about to salute him when Dumas added a super-dad to it in a hilarious repartee that cannot be put into words.

This Day In History Awards went to One Infection (1689 – General Piccolomini of Austria burned down Skopje to prevent the spread of cholera. He died of cholera himself soon after, one helluva infection), Gayboy's closest living relative Transporter 91851 – William Lassell, discovers the moons orbiting Uranus), Tallyho (1857 – Sheffield F.C., the world's oldest association football club still in operation, is founded in Sheffield, England. World’s oldest fan – Tallyho as world's oldest fan), Witch Doctor (1905 – Norway becomes independent from Sweden), Granny Smith (1984 – "Baby Fae" receives a heart transplant from a baboon) and Lewinsky (Hillary Clinton birthday).

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Hash Run 1697

The run on 28 October will be hosted by Poumuli, Wahoo and Amalia at their new lodgings off Bank Street in Vaoala.
Take the Cross-Island Road past Mynah's up to the Bank Street turn off on the right, go along Bank Street to the first turn on the left, then go all the way to the top of that road.
Parking will be tight but try your best along the side.
The hosts will provide the spread, so just bring your Hash Cash of 20 tala for the keg and softies.
The run will start at 6 PM because of the stupid daylight savings.
Someone needs to invite the Hash Monk!

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Hash Trash 1696

The Hash was hosted by Ali bin Shaggin, Jacob and Alyssa at YNot. The run was set by Crime, and the trail led us out to Aggies, past APC and turned the corner at the Old Court House. Sexpot meanwhile had run quite far down towards On the Rocks, perhaps for a Beer Stop, having been told of this quaint practice by your Scribe. The trail went all the way up to the turn for NUS, then up the hill past the cemetery, down to the UN building and on home by way of Vaiala Beach. All in all a long hard road slog, but the weather was clement so not too bad. The sweet nuts of Godfather never tasted better.

Our new GM, Julia Gillard, took the helm for the first time. He first of all acknowledged the visiting families, as we were going to have a Hash Wedding later. There were no one new to Hash, but the rethreads were Poumuli (on holiday), Dumas (working), Granny Smith (lazy) and Naval Base (busy cooking). After the down-down, Transporter dropped Poumuli’s glass, and his award was doubled for negligence for not bringing the Hash Mugs.

The GM changed the pace a bit and launched straight into his awards, claiming that due to Lewinsky attempting to join the Mile High Club the plane had to be diverted back to Australia. This was especially conveyed from SOTB. He also called up One Infection for his new YouTube video. One Infection started to explain, but quickly shut up, and accepted the Carlos Danger Award.

Sexpot and Desperate Housewife were called on for attending various venues of consumption and for having their kids’ last Hash at a pub. Clearly a Hashmanlike Behaviour Award. He then spotted Elle McJr, One Infection and IRA leaning. This was quickly followed by a Shenanigans Award for Transporter and One Infection for some dodgy sub-contracting work for Vailima at the last Hash.
Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli (in paper in climate change photo), Titty Galore (at opera) and Snake (closest living relative to Slippery’s wife in paper with the Aussies). This Day in History Awards went to Tallyho (1814 – London Beer Flood occurs in London, killing nine. At the Meux and Company Brewery on Tottenham Court Road, a huge vat containing over 135,000 imperial gallons (610,000 L) of beer ruptured, causing other vats in the same building to succumb in a domino effect. As a result, more than 323,000 imperial gallons (1,470,000 L) of beer burst out and gushed into the streets. The wave of beer destroyed two homes and crumbled the wall of the Tavistock Arms Pub, trapping teenage employee Eleanor Cooper under the rubble), Swinger (International Day for the Eradication of Poverty), Lewinsky (International Stuttering Awareness Day) and Sexpot (closest living relative to Zsa Zsa for National Day of Hungary).

Opening up for nominations, Lewinsky nominated Rufie for finally catching a fish, as Tallyho pointed out, mainly because Lewinsky wasn’t with him. Rufie went back in the circle when Desperate Housewife pointed to the cooler he was wearing on his leg. Elle McJr nominated Iron Lady for a story involving Horny Ho. Before we got to the grim details Iron Lady stepped in to silence what appeared to be a dramatically funny story.

Snake nominated Einstein for not joining the rethreads, and he was joined by latecummer Goldfinger. Tallyho nominated the GM for the First Time in History Award, for his extraordinary feat as the first GM of Apia Hash to complete the trail at a run, joined by Transporter for keeping him company. Snake corrected this next by pointing out that when POD was GM she always completed the runs, and usually at the front.

Godfather noted that this was a special evening and that he had removed his dirty shoes in respect, yet the Shoe Inspector had failed to spot them. The GM had also neglected to even include this item, thus Snake and the GM took the new shoes award from Godfather’s by now smelly shoes.
Lewinsky nominated Rufie for making the Samoan PM wait, while Elle McJr nominated Lewinsky and POD as the best dressed ever at Hash. Sexpot had been in the long queue at Opera Night, but noticed that Godfather abandoned Titty Galore!

We then saluted the hosts and the hare, before Godfather commenced the ceremony. This is a first in Hash History – a Hash Wedding. Your Scribe was not able to record the proceedings, but it certainly was one for the memories of those of us present.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit