Monday, August 25, 2014

Change of venue Run #1740

Tonights run (25th August) will now be held at Samoa Mini Golf (located inside the Race Course at Tuanaimato). It is still a BYO with Capt Mortein providing garlic bread, Swinger providing sausages and chicken. Could everyone else please bring salads or other meats? Onon!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Hash Run 1740

In celebration of the new SIDS Conference facilities, Swinger will host us on Monday so that we can, er, run around the facilities.
This will be a BYO run so please bring something for the table. BBQ will hopefully have been fixed by then.

Monday's Run will be hosted by Swinger and BB at Swinger and BB's digs at Siusega across the road from the English Cricket pitch.

If lost call  Swinger on 7770787

Bring change - it could be a wet one!


Hash Trash 1739

Nullam at erat populus Etiam Super Abruptissimas Petras Beach in via. Minimum, quod est ultimum, eo quod multa turba etiam occupatus populus currere. Paucis etiam lustrat novam constructionem insistamus per civitatem, ut nova ecclesia et Fugalei Mulivai elit. Et Princeps Tenebrarum Poumuli longius, et accepit in in scaenarum in Malifa, cum Principis Tenebrarum ire susicivus milliarii et NUS flumen transierunt. Tum rursus a scopulis, ubi mira Suscepit tumescent providente nuces.

And now for the uneducated troglodytes, the Hash was hosted at On The Rocks on Beach Road. It was a last minute thing again, since a lot of people were too busy to host or even to run. A few of us set out and also surveyed the new construction around town, such as the Mulivai Cathedral and the new Fugalei market. POD and Poumuli ventured further out and took in the scenery towards Malifa, with POD going the extra mile past NUS and the river. Then it was on back to On The Rocks, where Godfather had provided some extraordinary tumescent nuts.

POD drew the circle together in a cosy setting, basically because Lewinsky is too cheap to provide adequate lighting (he claimed some customers preferred it that way! What, are they conducting Ugandan discussions?). Anyway, there were no newcomers to Hash, no retreads and no new shoes.
Celebrity Awards went to Wahoo (Manumea won culinary award), Godfather (photo in Samoa For Real) joined by Crime for One Infection and Lewinsky for Da Head, Lewinsky for Tasi (canoe charity), Witch Doctor (for Snake, who can cure cancer), Poumuli for CB (in society pages) and Rufie for Da Head (headline Boy Holds Severed Head).

This Day in History Awards went to Witch Doctor (1692 – Salem witch trials: in Salem, Province of Massachusetts Bay, five people, one woman and four men, including a clergyman, are executed after being convicted of witchcraft), POD on behalf of Mismanagement (1940 – British Prime Minister Winston Churchill makes the fourth of his famous wartime speeches, containing the line "Never was so much owed by so many to so few"), Poumuli for Dawn Raid who broke these records while here (1960 – Joseph Kittinger parachutes from a balloon over New Mexico at 102,800 feet (31,300 m), setting three records that held until 2012: High-altitude jump, free fall, and highest speed by a human without an aircraft) and Lewinsky (1998 – Lewinsky scandal: US President Bill Clinton admits in taped testimony that he had an "improper physical relationship" with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. On the same day he admits before the nation that he "misled people" about the relationship).

The GM had a few awards of her own, starting with the lament from Titty Galore that her back was aching so much she could not bring the softies. While we were awaiting Godfather’s explanation he was rendered speechless, and took the Chiropractor Award. 

Snake arrived late, got his Latecummer Award as well as a repeat of the snake cancer story.
A Cellphonus Interruptus Award had to be given to Sassygirl BJ and Rufie, while the GM continued rewarding admirable behaviour, this time to Wahoo for actually doing the run. Not really thinking through the implications, the GM raised up the issue of the appalling All Blacks-Wallabies game, thus giving a Bledisloe Award to herself and Blowfish, with Witch Doctor stepping in for Offspring regarding the SA ref.

An impressive Clash of the Titans is underway on the island. No not the Iron Man contest, but the weight loss challenge between Rufie and Lewinsky. We couldn’t decide whether to reward the leader or the lagger, so both got the Undo The Good Work Award.

Calling on Crime for a report on the paddling, we were told that Gayboy’s team had cleaned house. Looking for a closest living relative, the GM decided on Rufie. “But I am not gay”… “You are a boy”, said Snake.

Sassy had been perturbed to see some mouldy nuts amongst those brought by Godfather and called for a down down. When he asked if they had been needed, we all chimed in that the ones he had brought were huge, absolutely engorged, and perhaps had something to do with a certain back pain. Huge Nuts Award to Godfather. He then excused himself repeatedly to go look at/for/find his nuts.

Snake commented on the lack of lighting and that a “real” electrician was needed, but since everyone knows that Lewinsky’s lights are out (no one home) this one reverted to Snake. Lewinsky pulled out a long list that he had compiled, proving the above point by the way, and nominated Rufie for breaking the Hash BBQ and Blowfish for having a Blonde Moment (she couldn’t count beyond 15 in the Hash Cash). After their down downs, Poumuli asked that we honor the latest inductee in the CRS Club (the Cant Remember Shit Club), as Lewinsky had to resort to a list.

Rufie reported that a gumboot had been stolen from his boat. Obviously a Crime. Poumuli nominated Wahoo for the Puppy Confusion Award for repeatedly calling their new pup Lucky instead of Happy as christened by Amalia. On that note, Witch Doctor had observed Happy swimming on the weekend, and looked like he was escaping Alcatraz. This failed.

Rufie nominated Blowfish for the Thank You Award as he couldn’t have beaten Lewinsky without her. He also reverted to the gumboots, as the one that hadn’t been stolen was gone the next day. He joined Crime in this award for being a dumbarse and leaving a single boot on the boat.

The Host and Hare were saluted, and food was ordered from Sunrise, which when it arrived resulted in a triple down down for Gayboy.

Next week’s run will be hosted by Swinger at Siusega, with a run around the new SIDS Conference facilities. The week after will be hosted by Snake in Vaitele.

Your Scribe will be absent next week so a volunteer Assistant Trainee Scribe is requested.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Monday, August 18, 2014

Todays Run is from On the Rocks

Hi folks, sorry for the late posting as mismanagement was hoping for an offer of a venue... so run is from On the Rocks - bring extra cash if you want to order a feed from Gayboy's restaurant... they are usually very good... ONON

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Hash Trash 1738

When two or more Hashers are gathered together around the Revered Keggage of Vailima, a circle shall be formed. Thus the words of wisdom that have rung down through the ages, eh well at least the last 35 years, and have brought a community of disparate souls together on the islands of Samoa. Kindness and wisdom abounds, yeah verily unto the visitors, yet not extended to local mutts encountered on the run, to whom communications consists of the application of a swift aimed rock. And on this glorious Fathers Day we gathered again at the beaches of Tafatafa, where the heat was not sweltering nor the rains drenching, as that would come later. It was heartening to see a good turnout, no doubt tempted by the varieties of food on offer, worthy indeed of a worthy person. A veritable Dionysian feast had been laid on by several Hashers, in particular Godfather, Witch Doctor, Titty Galore, Blowfish and POD. So off we set on the run, and much like it is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a camel to, so there were only four runners who actually took up the challenge. 

The others were too busy bathing and chatting to notice us depart. And much like the weird shall be separated from the chavs, an early lead by POD and Cockblocker saw Godfather and Poumuli bringing up the rear, accompanied by Murdoch the non-gay-dog. The trail took us up the access road from the beach, from whence the heat was gradually turned up by the weather and humidity. We were soon dripping with sweat as much as a could have filled a bucket. Emerging onto the road, we now got to enjoy a double basting as the heat reflected off the road surface as well. Murdoch would have stopped but then his paws would have been baked to the ground. Bravely pushing on, the trail took us down the next access road, yet the brief respite from 50 degrees to 45 degrees while welcomed was neither pleasant nor comforting. Pushing out onto the beach again we were sweating so much that a veritable river preceded us, inter-mingled with great slabs of gob from Murdoch who was expectorating some rather long stringy stuff. Finally reaching on home, gear was stripped off and we jumped in the water. The sudden insertion of such hot bodies made the water levels drop by several feet, the ocean turned more acidic and several coral species went extinct right then and there. Thankful that this ordeal had been conquered we rejoined the slackers on the beach for the circle. 

POD has been appointed our GM for the interregnum, which is Latin for a really long time, and called the rowdy bunch to order. Newcomers to Hash were Tea (brought by someone called Kurtley) and Francesca here on holiday with Stiletto. Lewinsky had his first, well first in the circle.

Retreads were legion, and these were Poumuli (communing with nature in Palau), CB (ditto), Do Me Twice (in Oz), Snake, Skunk and Mrs Skunk (back from NZ), and Stiletto in ChCh being a good wife). Celebrity Awards went to Godfather, Eveready and Karaoke (photo from the US Coast Guard shindig), Transporter (paddling team charity event – photo was a bit blurred and it looked like Lewinsky was also in the photo – it was charity so surely he MUST have been there), Twin Peaks (excessive coverage of his dance troupe) and Lewinsky for Snatched (photo in the Observer).

This Day in History Awards went to Snake (30 BC – Cleopatra VII Philopator, the last ruler of the Egyptian Ptolemaic dynasty, commits suicide, allegedly by means of an asp bite), Twin Peaks (1858 – The first Australian rules football match is played between Melbourne Grammar and Scotch College), Sassygirl BJ for Alcatraz (1934 – The first civilian prisoners arrive at the Federal prison on Alcatraz Island), Transporter and Crime (1977 – In Yonkers, New York, 24-year-old postal employee David Berkowitz ("Son of Sam") is arrested for a series of killings in the New York City area over the period of one year), Godfather (Father’s Day) and Poumuli for Wahoo (International Lefthanders Day).

Opening up for nominations, Transporter pointed out that one celebrity had been left out, that of Elle McJr for the NZ Friendship week, and he was joined by Poumuli for incompetent newsgathering. Sassy elaborated on the incompetence theme, as three Hashers had taken three hours to get there. Snake, Skunk and Mrs Skunk were awarded, with hints of Game of Thrones activities being bandied about the circle.

IRA had been to the doctors recently and calls to her had for some reason been diverted to Titty G. A lot of confusing surrounded this, as Ete would say, thus it was decided for both to take this Playing Doctors Award. Lewinsky joined for taking a lady to dinner and making her pay for it – he was obviously out of pocket due to his charitable giving.

A Latecummer Award was warmly awarded to Kiss My Butt on the island for a few more days. A stickler for prompt payments, triad representative Gayboy had made a bet with Lewinsky who had up until now not paid for loosing. This should have resulted in a scene from “The Godfather”,  but Lewinsky got a down down instead. Poumuli then nominated Gayboy for the Fear Factor Award, for nearly leaving Hash in fear of getting nominated. Here's one of a young GB:

POD nominated IRA for the Mother of the Week Award. Apparently one of the kids had been locked in the toilet, and the obvious solution to this was to toss the other child over the door. It turned out though that POD had assisted! 

Sassy wanted Godfather punished for not telling his visitor about Hash Rules, but this was turned into a Heartless Sassy Award, as the poor lady could hardly stand.

IRA wanted to have a family reunion award for CB, but messed up on the name of Do Mia Twice, and suffered the consequences. The Hares and the Hosts – Crime, Rufie, Sassy, Titty G and Godfather were saluted. Godfather thanked all for coming while Poumuli got the final down down for Murdoch eating off the BBQ.

Watch the Blog for next week’s run.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Friday, August 08, 2014

Fathers' Day Run Tafatafa - Maotaomaa Beach Fales

Ahoy there hashers

This coming Monday is a public holiday in case you are on Mars.... hash is from Maotaomaa Beach Fales out at Tafatafa Beach. Come early around 11am and relax, swim and contemplate the run lol.. Run will start at 1 ish ish.... 

Bring hash cash and whatever your father desires... nectar of the heavens will be there... Godfather may arrange a umu and we can all put in a bit extra for that..



Monday, August 04, 2014

Hash Run 1736

Talofa lava Hash meres and hares

Today's run is a BYO (food) at Le Manumea Hotel, Vailima. Run will commence at 5.30pm. Bring hash cash and change. The sweet nuts of Godfather and the nectar of life will be there for you after the run.