Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Hash Trash 1739

Nullam at erat populus Etiam Super Abruptissimas Petras Beach in via. Minimum, quod est ultimum, eo quod multa turba etiam occupatus populus currere. Paucis etiam lustrat novam constructionem insistamus per civitatem, ut nova ecclesia et Fugalei Mulivai elit. Et Princeps Tenebrarum Poumuli longius, et accepit in in scaenarum in Malifa, cum Principis Tenebrarum ire susicivus milliarii et NUS flumen transierunt. Tum rursus a scopulis, ubi mira Suscepit tumescent providente nuces.

And now for the uneducated troglodytes, the Hash was hosted at On The Rocks on Beach Road. It was a last minute thing again, since a lot of people were too busy to host or even to run. A few of us set out and also surveyed the new construction around town, such as the Mulivai Cathedral and the new Fugalei market. POD and Poumuli ventured further out and took in the scenery towards Malifa, with POD going the extra mile past NUS and the river. Then it was on back to On The Rocks, where Godfather had provided some extraordinary tumescent nuts.

POD drew the circle together in a cosy setting, basically because Lewinsky is too cheap to provide adequate lighting (he claimed some customers preferred it that way! What, are they conducting Ugandan discussions?). Anyway, there were no newcomers to Hash, no retreads and no new shoes.
Celebrity Awards went to Wahoo (Manumea won culinary award), Godfather (photo in Samoa For Real) joined by Crime for One Infection and Lewinsky for Da Head, Lewinsky for Tasi (canoe charity), Witch Doctor (for Snake, who can cure cancer), Poumuli for CB (in society pages) and Rufie for Da Head (headline Boy Holds Severed Head).

This Day in History Awards went to Witch Doctor (1692 – Salem witch trials: in Salem, Province of Massachusetts Bay, five people, one woman and four men, including a clergyman, are executed after being convicted of witchcraft), POD on behalf of Mismanagement (1940 – British Prime Minister Winston Churchill makes the fourth of his famous wartime speeches, containing the line "Never was so much owed by so many to so few"), Poumuli for Dawn Raid who broke these records while here (1960 – Joseph Kittinger parachutes from a balloon over New Mexico at 102,800 feet (31,300 m), setting three records that held until 2012: High-altitude jump, free fall, and highest speed by a human without an aircraft) and Lewinsky (1998 – Lewinsky scandal: US President Bill Clinton admits in taped testimony that he had an "improper physical relationship" with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. On the same day he admits before the nation that he "misled people" about the relationship).

The GM had a few awards of her own, starting with the lament from Titty Galore that her back was aching so much she could not bring the softies. While we were awaiting Godfather’s explanation he was rendered speechless, and took the Chiropractor Award. 

Snake arrived late, got his Latecummer Award as well as a repeat of the snake cancer story.
A Cellphonus Interruptus Award had to be given to Sassygirl BJ and Rufie, while the GM continued rewarding admirable behaviour, this time to Wahoo for actually doing the run. Not really thinking through the implications, the GM raised up the issue of the appalling All Blacks-Wallabies game, thus giving a Bledisloe Award to herself and Blowfish, with Witch Doctor stepping in for Offspring regarding the SA ref.

An impressive Clash of the Titans is underway on the island. No not the Iron Man contest, but the weight loss challenge between Rufie and Lewinsky. We couldn’t decide whether to reward the leader or the lagger, so both got the Undo The Good Work Award.

Calling on Crime for a report on the paddling, we were told that Gayboy’s team had cleaned house. Looking for a closest living relative, the GM decided on Rufie. “But I am not gay”… “You are a boy”, said Snake.

Sassy had been perturbed to see some mouldy nuts amongst those brought by Godfather and called for a down down. When he asked if they had been needed, we all chimed in that the ones he had brought were huge, absolutely engorged, and perhaps had something to do with a certain back pain. Huge Nuts Award to Godfather. He then excused himself repeatedly to go look at/for/find his nuts.

Snake commented on the lack of lighting and that a “real” electrician was needed, but since everyone knows that Lewinsky’s lights are out (no one home) this one reverted to Snake. Lewinsky pulled out a long list that he had compiled, proving the above point by the way, and nominated Rufie for breaking the Hash BBQ and Blowfish for having a Blonde Moment (she couldn’t count beyond 15 in the Hash Cash). After their down downs, Poumuli asked that we honor the latest inductee in the CRS Club (the Cant Remember Shit Club), as Lewinsky had to resort to a list.

Rufie reported that a gumboot had been stolen from his boat. Obviously a Crime. Poumuli nominated Wahoo for the Puppy Confusion Award for repeatedly calling their new pup Lucky instead of Happy as christened by Amalia. On that note, Witch Doctor had observed Happy swimming on the weekend, and looked like he was escaping Alcatraz. This failed.

Rufie nominated Blowfish for the Thank You Award as he couldn’t have beaten Lewinsky without her. He also reverted to the gumboots, as the one that hadn’t been stolen was gone the next day. He joined Crime in this award for being a dumbarse and leaving a single boot on the boat.

The Host and Hare were saluted, and food was ordered from Sunrise, which when it arrived resulted in a triple down down for Gayboy.

Next week’s run will be hosted by Swinger at Siusega, with a run around the new SIDS Conference facilities. The week after will be hosted by Snake in Vaitele.

Your Scribe will be absent next week so a volunteer Assistant Trainee Scribe is requested.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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