Thursday, April 30, 2009

Hash Run 1464- Cinco De Mayo Run @ Bora Bora

Next Weeks run will be our Cinco De Mayo Run at the Bora Bora Bar at the base of Mt Vaea and next to the Vaea Hotel.

Remember, this is a BYO Food Run and our usual Keg and Hash Cash will be there. The GM has promised some interesting down downs next week so be prepared. Also, seeing as it is the Cinco De Mayo run, bring some money to spend at the bar as Bora Bora makes one heck of a Margarita!!!
On another note..Hash Mere's are to wear green and the Hash Men are to wear Red..and if you are confused...and don't know what to wear, then something white will do.

See you all there.
On On

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1463

The beautiful surroundings of Taumesina was the setting for this Hash, courtesy of our hosts Lewinsky, POD and Happy Feet with assistance from Farmer Joe. However, since SOTB was lead Hare with Lewinsky it soon became apparent that SOTB wanted us to pound pavements as well. As soon as we headed out of the gate, the heavens opened. By the time the trail was found, leading down Apia Park way we were all soaked to the core. Since there will be no whining on the trail, most hashers confined themselves to grumpy growling. Kiwi was upfront in the pack and he could sniff out the trickiest parts, although DawnRaid located the trail as it veered off Viala-Vini Road into Vaisigano. There he met several irate dogs, no doubt still irritated by the pungent sweat left by SOTB and Lewinsky. DawnRaid , JJ, Michael, Kiwi, Poumuli, and a few others decided on the Beach Road that the only possible trail would be towards the wharf and Vaiala Beach – and they were proven right. The trail then led along the shore past Vaiala, where an ingenious water trap had been found. Well, it was either wade through the 10 feet of water or risk the yapping little ankle biting bastard dogs that were guarding the bridge. Unfortunately, the cold water sapped many hashers of energy, so DawnRaid and JJ led the run back. They met up with latecomers who had not found the track – how come Gabor et al didn’t get down-downs?

Luckily the skies were now brightening, and Lewinsky’s seaside was a welcome respite for many swimming hashers.

There were many visitors to the Hash – Colin from the UK, Suzanne from Australia, Jean from NZ, Sid a long-time visitor from NZ, and several exchange students from USP. Your assistant trainee scribe only caught the names Annie, Margaret and Anoushka due to the loud protestations of several Hash babies. The rethreads were Byron and JJ. Luckily for JJ the GM did not interpret the Hash rules on wearing hats in the circle to include a baby.

AC/DC carried out his task as shoe inspector, and quickly identified Sassygirl’s as being entirely new, whereupon she had to drink from it. Poumuli received the Celebrity Award for linking banning of gay movies with the RHD switch in a letter to the newspaper.

Ray Charles had written a 2-page email to the GM regarding a 25 lb baby and circumcision. How he managed to glean a down-down for Lewinsky, SOTB and Poumuli out of that we will never know, but it happened. Hash Birthday Award went to Tony Blair and Salsa, which Gabor attempted to add Excuberant Dancing Award to, but failed. Sassygirl nominated BB for trying to get her into Tony Blair’s pool, then not getting into the pool herself, then not wanting to leave, etc. The “real” Gordon Ramsey was in the press recently for going broke, womanising and sundry sins, which our own Gordon Ramsey happily accepted with a down-down. He must be strenuously thanked for yet again grilling a whole pig for the Hash feed. Three leaning ladies were spotted by Snake for leaning, yet all of them managed to get whipping boys – Sid, Greg and Michael. In finishing his beer Greg liberally doused JJ’s unsuspecting daughter, resulting in an automatic Child Endangerment Award.

On the blog chat Sassygirl had promised Skankanavian that some hot guys would be at the Hash, and Skankanavian claimed she could see none at the Hash. She joined Sassygirl with a Disrespecting the Hotness of the GM Award. SOTB called for a Gas Sponsorship Award to Sid for providing a new tank for the Hash Grill.

Crown of Thorns was given the Sympathy and Hugs Award in honour of KuiKui getting engaged, just not to Crown of Thorns. Skankanavian was honoured by Lewinsky with a Sexy Award for her choice of dress for the Hash.

Crown of Thorns recounted how a couple of hashers had been in a jellyfish incident, and that the Hashman had refused to treat the Hashmere’s injury through the stipulated urination. So Nick received a Can’t Piss Award.

This week the Hash Monk did not miraculously appear. However, his close approximation, SOTB did the honours in naming Farmer Joe in a formal ceremony. As a cattle farmer of some stature, he will now be known as MilkMe.

The GM would up the ceremonies with awards for Gordon Ramsey and AC/DC for cooking, but did they give us swine flu? and the hosts and the hares. In addition we fare-welled Salsa and Guacamole. Final awards went to Lewinsky for confusing Farmer Joe with MilkMe and to Mr. Whippy and Poumuli for their blog-work. The GM also announced that the next Hash will be in honour of Cinco de Mayo (so we all have to wear green, white or red) and that the down-downs will be tequila! Good grief, that should be fun…


Editor's note 2 re blog work: SOTB stepped-up and ran the blog alone for much of Feb and Mar while Mr. Whippy was away. He should have joined us for the blog down-down.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1462

This is the first formal submission of the Hash Trash from your Assistant Trainee Scribe, so please bear with me. The run was hosted by Salsa and her Tito at Tony Blair and Selena’s house. Kiwi had gone out ahead to set the run and off the pack went in pursuit. The nice steady climb up the wooded path by the river was not a harbinger of things to come. A long way up we all of a sudden came to a cross, but only after several hashers had missed it and were checking across the river. We all turned back, and in an uncharacteristic display of macho bravery, Lewinsky even crossed the narrow dam to look for the trail, which he could not find. Convinced that Lewinsky was dumber than that, Snake set off to see for himself, only to find the trail possibilities to be too limited. Unbeknownst, Greg and Dawn Raid had set off up into the trees to scout out a possible trail, but returned before reaching the top. Poumuli and SOTB tried the same trail a few minutes later, but the paper was at least a 100 metres up according to Kiwi. All except SOTB received an Incompetence Award as a result later. At this stage the sun was going down, and a few other possible trails were explored, as the beautifully red and golden coloured light dappled through the leaves, creating a rather stunning setting for an ignoble return to the house for the baffled hashers.
Trouble was literally brewing. The keg kept giving off a foamy substance that was only minimally reminiscent of beer. Tino from Vailima had to be called in for an emergency operation, which was successful. However, he was wearing a Wadadli shirt – that is a sister brewery from Antigua in the Caribbean. Bit odd that…

Talk about slaving over a hot stove – Gordon Ramsey had been slow roasting a pig over coconut coals for 8 hours! That is true dedication to the Hash and the feeding thereof.

The hash circle was started with Bolivian precision – no one outside the circle, and a circle it had to be, as Selena ordered people to move. There was one newcomer – Misti who was a guest of Snake. Retreads included Farmer Joe, Mr. Whippy and Dawn Raid. There were no new shoes, so BB had to get a down, although she was later heard muttering dark curses at Dawn Raid for conveniently locking his shoes in the car. The Celebrity Award went to Sassygirl for telling the Government it was stupid on the front page of the Observer. She was joined by BB who had to act in proxy for Swinger – whose mum was also in the photo. She protested vigorously that this was unfair, as there was no official linkage. Whatever…. Sassygirl and SOTB got a second award because of Mr. Sass also being in the paper.

The GM recounted a story of a hash mere who lost her bikini at the Sinalei beach run , so both Selena and Tony Blair got a Stripper Award. This was compounded later, when it was discovered that Selena had also left her pistachio green socks in Gabor’s shoes that day. Gabor himself got the Bulging Tightpants Award.

Crash Bandicoot arrived late, and was brought up on charges for making Delicious cry on the phone from NZ. In addition to the Incompetence Award, Hobbes was awarded for getting his bulk stuck in the fence on the way home.

There was much hilarity and comment regarding the failing wardrobe of the GM, who eventually got the Tarzan Award for his bared nipple, courtesy of SOTB. The award that is, not the …

Sassygirl was on a roll at this point, calling and award for Bits & Pieces for his lack of sailing skills and endangerment of the public through a Hobie Cat, Tony Blair for his Narnia shirt, and she contributed to Dawn Raid getting a “What’s the point in talking to someone with their I-Pod on full blast” Award. Skankanavian was given the Hostile Takeover Award for stealthily acquiring boyfriends whose girls were absent.

At this point the Hash Monk miraculously appeared. Tito’s full name apparently has something to do with avocadoes, so he shall now be known as Guacamole. After blessing him with the traditional dowsing of flour, beer, paper and pig fat, the Hash Monk encouraged him and Salsa to go forth and make nachos. The GM called for the Hosts and the Hare, and then added a down down for Lewinsky on pure spite.

After the sumptuous feast or roast pork, Russian (yes, I wondered too?) curry, spicy chilli and salads, a birthday cake was brought out for Salsa and Tony Blair. The birthday songs were rendered in Spanish (well the Bolivian version at least), Dutch, Hungarian, English, Norwegian and Samoan.

A note to the Hash – FBI better show up with the Chicken Hat next time.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Hash Run 1463 - Lewinsky, POD, Happy Feet & Farmer Joe


Next week's run will be Hosted by Lewinsky, POD, Happy Feet and Farmer Joe at Lewinsky and POD's home at Taumeasina. There is a lot of water, mud, bush and open road out here and it usually ends up as a good run. Bring some change so you can go for a dip in the ocean after the run. This is always a great run.

Remember that this is NOT a BYO run. The hosts have kindly offered to provide the food and there will be a keg there too...see you all then

On On

Chat Away You Silly Hashers!

Now you can post messages directly to everyone at Apia Hash (See the Chat box on the left). Give it a try and post a quick message today! It's always great to hear from you.

In our ongoing effort to promote interaction amongst Hashers, we've made some changes to the blog. We trimmed a few things, but the most noticeable change is the addition of the Chat box. Tell us what you think.

Be aware that you can still comment on articles as before. The key differences between Chat and Comments are:
  • Chat - Messages are immediately visible to all, have no formality, and are temporary.
  • Comments - Messages are attached to blog articles and are permanent.
On On!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Hash Run 1461 Photos (Easter)

The photos from the Sinalei Easter hash run earlier this week are posted. Check out the Hash Trash for Run 1461 below for details. Thanks Poumuli!

You can check out these photos and more in our Hash Photo Albums.

On On!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Hash Run 1462 - Selena, TB, Salsa & Tito @ Tuaefu

Howdy Howdy,

Hash next week will be hosted by Salsa, and her other half "Tito" and it will be at Tony Blair and Selena's Place in Tuaefu. Swimmers are compulsory, and spare change is a must. Be prepared to get wet and to have a great time..There is a lot of jungle, and water out around this area, so you have been warned.

See you all then,

On On.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1461

Well Godfather sure knows how to set a hash run for the ages. Imploring us at the start to take advantage of the Easter Weekend for the forgiveness of our sins, we set out on a trail that produces wide-ranging expressions of profanities. That is until near-heatstroke set in for most of the pack. The trail led along the Sinalei beach to the East, before branching in onto the road - false trail. Then off we tramped through endless steaming plantations. Up and up we went, and a seemingly gentle rise soon slowed down the pack as we realized that this is never going to end! Eventually the path turned West and the trail headed down the slope, and eventually the tired hashers descended on Godfather's sweet nuts and the keg.

In the hash circle there were a large number of newcomers, an international crowd from Hungary, Mexico, Bolivia and Germany. There were also many re-threads who were suitably awarded. Child Endangerment Award went to Godfather and Lewinsky and POD, for managing to lock Happy Feet inside the car with a dog. A further endangerment award came later, due to a projectile vomiting incident on the Savaii ferry that forced COT to take control of Lewinsky's vehicle and drive Happy Feet ashore. Lewinsky should have gotten a double due to his self-exalted fisherman skills. SOTB had new shoes and bravely drank from them, given the size of his blisters from the run. He also got a Furniture Overstayer Award for using Poumuli's garage for the last 5 months. The Germans and the Hungarian were repeatedly challenged to show us how to do a down-down. Nevertheless, Samoan hashers - mainly Kiwi - had the greater speed. BB got awarded for having sexy knees. Wahoo was awarded for something. The Scribe was drunk and his assistant was later reclining dead asleep on a beach chair.

On On,


Friday, April 10, 2009

Who Reads Our Blog?

We are not alone! The Apia Hash has friends from all over the world. Here's a listing of countries from the last 500 visits to our blog. If you're ever curious about who's visiting our blog, you can click on the View Stats link (located at the bottom left-hand corner of the blog).

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Hash Run 1461 - Easter Run @ Sinalei

Morning All,

Next Weeks Easter Hash Run will be down at the Sinalei Reef Resort.

The run will start at 2pm, and the hashers should start to gather there around 12noon. There will be a special parking area assigned for the hashers which will be pointed out to you when you arrive.

Please remember that Sinalei has a no child policy, so keep all children down on the beach and away from the resort. Seeing as we are starting from the beach, its advisable to bring a spare set of clothes and your swimmers as no doubt the hare will make the most of the surrounding environment out there...see you all there!

On On

Friday, April 03, 2009

Hash Run 1460 - Swinger @ Siusega (06/04/09)

Hash this week will be hosted by Swinger at his house in Siusega. This is a great area for hash and seeing as we haven't had one up this way for some time, it should be great fun. There is a lot of open roads and bush up here, surely the Hasher's will love this area!
The weather man says it should be nice and sunny come Monday, so get your gear and head on over for a great run! (Bring some change just in case you do get wet)
See you all there
On On