Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Hash Trash - Run 1463

The beautiful surroundings of Taumesina was the setting for this Hash, courtesy of our hosts Lewinsky, POD and Happy Feet with assistance from Farmer Joe. However, since SOTB was lead Hare with Lewinsky it soon became apparent that SOTB wanted us to pound pavements as well. As soon as we headed out of the gate, the heavens opened. By the time the trail was found, leading down Apia Park way we were all soaked to the core. Since there will be no whining on the trail, most hashers confined themselves to grumpy growling. Kiwi was upfront in the pack and he could sniff out the trickiest parts, although DawnRaid located the trail as it veered off Viala-Vini Road into Vaisigano. There he met several irate dogs, no doubt still irritated by the pungent sweat left by SOTB and Lewinsky. DawnRaid , JJ, Michael, Kiwi, Poumuli, and a few others decided on the Beach Road that the only possible trail would be towards the wharf and Vaiala Beach – and they were proven right. The trail then led along the shore past Vaiala, where an ingenious water trap had been found. Well, it was either wade through the 10 feet of water or risk the yapping little ankle biting bastard dogs that were guarding the bridge. Unfortunately, the cold water sapped many hashers of energy, so DawnRaid and JJ led the run back. They met up with latecomers who had not found the track – how come Gabor et al didn’t get down-downs?

Luckily the skies were now brightening, and Lewinsky’s seaside was a welcome respite for many swimming hashers.

There were many visitors to the Hash – Colin from the UK, Suzanne from Australia, Jean from NZ, Sid a long-time visitor from NZ, and several exchange students from USP. Your assistant trainee scribe only caught the names Annie, Margaret and Anoushka due to the loud protestations of several Hash babies. The rethreads were Byron and JJ. Luckily for JJ the GM did not interpret the Hash rules on wearing hats in the circle to include a baby.

AC/DC carried out his task as shoe inspector, and quickly identified Sassygirl’s as being entirely new, whereupon she had to drink from it. Poumuli received the Celebrity Award for linking banning of gay movies with the RHD switch in a letter to the newspaper.

Ray Charles had written a 2-page email to the GM regarding a 25 lb baby and circumcision. How he managed to glean a down-down for Lewinsky, SOTB and Poumuli out of that we will never know, but it happened. Hash Birthday Award went to Tony Blair and Salsa, which Gabor attempted to add Excuberant Dancing Award to, but failed. Sassygirl nominated BB for trying to get her into Tony Blair’s pool, then not getting into the pool herself, then not wanting to leave, etc. The “real” Gordon Ramsey was in the press recently for going broke, womanising and sundry sins, which our own Gordon Ramsey happily accepted with a down-down. He must be strenuously thanked for yet again grilling a whole pig for the Hash feed. Three leaning ladies were spotted by Snake for leaning, yet all of them managed to get whipping boys – Sid, Greg and Michael. In finishing his beer Greg liberally doused JJ’s unsuspecting daughter, resulting in an automatic Child Endangerment Award.

On the blog chat Sassygirl had promised Skankanavian that some hot guys would be at the Hash, and Skankanavian claimed she could see none at the Hash. She joined Sassygirl with a Disrespecting the Hotness of the GM Award. SOTB called for a Gas Sponsorship Award to Sid for providing a new tank for the Hash Grill.

Crown of Thorns was given the Sympathy and Hugs Award in honour of KuiKui getting engaged, just not to Crown of Thorns. Skankanavian was honoured by Lewinsky with a Sexy Award for her choice of dress for the Hash.

Crown of Thorns recounted how a couple of hashers had been in a jellyfish incident, and that the Hashman had refused to treat the Hashmere’s injury through the stipulated urination. So Nick received a Can’t Piss Award.

This week the Hash Monk did not miraculously appear. However, his close approximation, SOTB did the honours in naming Farmer Joe in a formal ceremony. As a cattle farmer of some stature, he will now be known as MilkMe.

The GM would up the ceremonies with awards for Gordon Ramsey and AC/DC for cooking, but did they give us swine flu? and the hosts and the hares. In addition we fare-welled Salsa and Guacamole. Final awards went to Lewinsky for confusing Farmer Joe with MilkMe and to Mr. Whippy and Poumuli for their blog-work. The GM also announced that the next Hash will be in honour of Cinco de Mayo (so we all have to wear green, white or red) and that the down-downs will be tequila! Good grief, that should be fun…


Editor's note 2 re blog work: SOTB stepped-up and ran the blog alone for much of Feb and Mar while Mr. Whippy was away. He should have joined us for the blog down-down.

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