Friday, October 29, 2010

Hash Run 1541

This run will be held at the Why Not Bar in the harbour area in Apia. Its right next to Paddles Restaurant and should be easy to find for any visitors. Run starts at 5.30 PM as usual.

Have fun.

We are...

Hash Trash 1540

Kia orana everyone from Wahoo and Poumuli in Aitutaki! Having a great time and many thanks to the Hash for our great send-off.

Hash 1540 was hosted at Psychadelic's house in Taumeasina. It was a very hot day and daylight savings time didn't help. The run was somewhat confusing with lots of dead trails and in the end several got lost and headed home. But it was a good sweat out and all enjoyed themselves.

Princess of Darkness was the GM, and she called the newbies into the circle. These were Nina (Poumuli's cousin), Jorgen (brought by some strange tree species), Laura from NZ, Sefo (Brazilian's brother), and Nica from NZ going to Tokelau. There was also Kalani from Maui, Jean from Marquesas and Albert from Jamaica, all brought by Poumuli. The GM decided that Jorgen knew enough of the rules to let Poumuli off the hook, so he took his Disingenous Award.

The Rethreads were Blackadder, Kjetil, Hot Nuts, Slim Shady, and Dawn Raid, who took a double for wearing shades. New Shoes - Carin from Italy, who gamely downed from her brand new sneakers. Chilindrina was first brought in from hiding, then the GM told a funny story about the missing wheel of Zsa Zsa now in the posession of Russian Vet Slava - not present so she got a Norwegian to join her - Kjetil.

Celebrity Awards went to Godfather, Spanky, Screamer (Brazilian closest living relative) and Pussysnatcher for ads about the stolen pussy. This Day in History went to Brynne (last time Canada defeated US in battle), Carin(Italian General burning Skopje to the ground to stop cholera, then dying from it anyway) and all the UN employees for UN Day.

Sassygirl BJ nominated Fang for gently fondling the sausages, something Snake had never seen he claimed. Strangler nominated the Hares for Disrespecting Tradition for setting the run through a cemetery. Strangler joined them at the urging of Poumuli for calling the hash run a sporting event. Slim Shady nominated Eveready and Swinger for Lighting Their Nipples Award at the wedding, which Do Me Twice joined in. Slim Shade also joined for False Accusation against Lewinsky.

DMT nominated FBI for Culturally Insensitive for wearing skirt on head! Sassy got Tasha for exclaiming "I got new boobs" during the new shoes award, while Eveready nominated the GM for the Out of Control Dancing Award. At this point the village was falling silent so we had to wrap up the circle. CB nominated Snatch for the Do Not Wear That Dress Award, which backfired after a vote in favour of Womyn's Lib, so Pussysnatcher and CB took it. The hosts and hares were saluted in the normal manner, albeit at a whisper.

Godfather made an announcement regarding the Walk for Life. DMT will be our contact point for that.

Next week's run will be at Why Not Bar down by the harbour.

That's all for me - being called by Wahoo.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Hash Run 1540

Talofa Hashers

Monday the 25th October will be hosted by Angela, Rebecca and Psychadelic at Psychadelic's house in Taumeasina. The theme for the run will be Helloween, so I guess the bit about dressing up as your favorite German comes true after all!

Run will start as usual at 5.30 PM. The Ladies will cook for us so just bring your Hash Cash for the keg.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Hash Trash 1539

The Hash was hosted at the Apia Yacht Club, with Ring Ring as the Hare. She had set what she called the first ever Adventure Hash, which involved a lot of climbing on the seawall rocks, charging through the Court Compounds to the yells of irate groundskeepers, and a run back along the wall to the Yacht Club. Most Hashers then swam out to the va’a, except Poumuli and Wahoo who were ferried over in a kayak. It was nice out there on the va’a, until Cockblocker decided to push me over the edge and I landed badly on my neck.

But it was a spirited event set by Ring Ring, though we may need to start our runs later during daylight savings time – it was very hot on the rocks!
Princess of Darkness was the GM and she called the rowdy crowd to attention. There were several newbies, including Ben (schoolteacher brought by Do Me Twice), Linda (osteopath at MedCen), Carin from Italy (intern at the UN, brought by Ninja), Ginny brought by CB, and Wayne brought by Godfather. The rethreads were Kirsten (Poumuli’s sister), Snake, Fang, FBI, Rachel and Lily – none with a good excuse so they all drank.

Psychadelic was asked to be the Assistant Shoe Inspector, and found none. She tried to accuse Poumuli of having new shoes, which backfired, then double backfired as Psychadelic had the flu and GM asked Poumuli to take it. POD then told an amusing anecdote from PNG using a pidgin word for uselessness in connection with Sassygirl BJ stubbing her cigarette out in the mayo jar at Swashbucklers. Since Sassy was away the GM deemed Greenie to be the closest.

At this point Godfather’s other guest came into the circle, and was accused of indecent exposure through the medium of rainbow coloured budgie smugglers. He stuffed up again by claiming to have gone to school with someone called Joe.
The GM had been informed by the Apia Hash Repository for Useless Information (proprietor: Poumuli) that on this day in history in 1929, Canada legally recognized women as “persons” – Brynne step forward. Furthermore, she had also been informed that this was the day that Clinton claimed never to have had sexual relations with that woman – Lewinsky step forward, but was joined by the Yanks present. Titty Galore and Lily had been late for the shopping and had somehow lost keys belonging to someone else – they were assisted by DMT.

Celebrity Awards went to Swinger (closest relative Godfather), Snatch (closest relative CB) and our German Teacher for those fab stories in the Observer. Poumuli tried to get Ring Ring a special one for her modelling shots, but this had been done before so False Accusation. There then followed a disbursement of hashit from the Tafatafa Hash – looked like Wahoo, Pirate Princess, Tasha and Ring Ring did that award. And since no hash is complete without a Captain Mortein Award, this time for disobeying his wife, shutting a door that could not be unlocked and having Swinger come to the rescue – that is a Stupendous Award!

The GM then gave the Last Hash in Freedom Award to Poumuli and Wahoo, followed by CB for Reckless Endangerment for the episode on the va’a. Slippery announced that hashers should all have a beer at ten past eight on Wednesday as it would be 20:10, 20/10, 2010. Dean interrupted what should have been an award to Slippery by asking why Godfather was named thus, as he was known as Joe – both took a drink.
Wahoo’s hen’s night had been a raucous affair, with DMT winning the condom on a banana contest. Eveready had been waiting up for Karaoke, who returned with a badly bruised banana, and then said she had a headache! Both took the award.

Ninja was called forth to hand out the Chicken Award. He had been watching Back to the Future, and realised that the lead actor, who hated being called chicken, was really Canadian – Brynne graciously took the Chicken of the Week. We nearly floated the keg by then so Ring Ring got only a small award for her great haring.

Next week’s Hash will be hosted by Angela and Rebecca I believe, venue to be announced. We have been asked to come dressed as our favourite German – that will need some soul-searching for some of us! Details will be posted so watch the blog.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Hash Run 1539 - Adventure Hash

Greetings Hashers - prepare for an Adventure Hash on Monday. Ring Ring informs us that this will be a full-on adventure run, featuring running, rock climbing and swimming. So bring a change of clothes and whatever Spiderman gear you can find as I am sure Ring Ring will give us a whole new experience in pain.

The Hash will start from the Apia Yacht Club in Mulinuu at 5.30 PM as usual. As I don't have SOTB's or Pussysnatcher's map making skills, I will just give directions:
from downtown Apia, go to the Beach Road, face the ocean, turn left and keep going on Beach Road, past the Government Yard, Clock Tower, RSA, market, Tanoa Tusitala, Millennia, until you see the sign for the Yacht Club on your right.

Please also bring something for the BBQ, while Ring Ring will provide the salads.

There is no theme for the run, but it will be Wahoo and Poumuli's last Hash in freedom!

On On

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Hash Trash 1538

Greetings to all Hashers, and what a wonderful way to return to the fold with a beach run at Tafatafa on White Sunday Monday. Well, not exactly a beach run per se. Your Scribe arrived late and the run had been completed, but I set off anyway to get a bit of exercise before the circle. Cockblocker had set the run on flour, which was a concern given the blinding whiteness of the sand. But the trail went off into the bush, up a new path for an access road, and was very easy to follow. No false trails, which was good since the sun was hot. The access road curved around and back to the beach. All in all a short but sweaty run, and most Hashers were in the sea with cold but foamy Vailimas.

Princess of Darkness was the GM and called the circle to order. There was only one new to Hash – Rieko who had been brought by Ninja. The rethreads were Ninja, Slippery and Poumuli. The GM couldn’t care less where we had been. There were no Celebrity Awards handed out.

Your Scribe had found a new chicken hat on his travels (no one seems to know where the old one has gone), which the GM felt should be handed to the Hasher who in calm still shallow waters was wearing a swim vest – Ninja got the Chicken of the Week Award. (Ninja – you have to bring the hat to the next hash when you can award it to someone else deserving it.) A further gift from the travels was a Chinese warning sign that cautioned us Do Not Scream, which went to Screamer, and soaps from the POD Hotel which went to POD of course. Poumuli had to join in.

The GM had been told that Karaoke had been attending zumba classes and enjoyed it very much, but had found Chilindrina’s dancing much too dirty – in her absence the GM called for a former Ms Samoa to accept the Dirty Zumba Award – Mana. Lewinsky was then accused of leaving his knob lying around, but somehow this went to Do Me Twice. Your Scribe made an illiteracy accusation against Co-Scribe, now demoted to Assistant Trainee Scribe, Screamer for not posting last week’s Hash Trash. She tried but failed in getting Poumuli awarded as well.

Brynne had been found to perform in poor form at a recent party, getting legless after one drink, so for Conduct Unbecoming she had to demonstrate better form. Snatch nominated Pussysnatcher for near slicing off his fingers on taro, which was a pathetic show given all the “training” she has put him through – Indigenous Award to PS. It was then discovered that Eveready’s keys had been locked in his car, but it seems that Karaoke was the culprit. After some dextrous manoeuvring using his Bowie knife and a piece of wire, he finally managed to pop the trunk.

The hare was saluted in the traditional manner before the bbq was descended upon. Titty Galore arrived late, but brought with her crates of Vailima to supplement the dwindling foamy keg. Fa’afetai!

Check the blog for next week’s run.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Tafatafa Beach Run - 1538

Dear all
I have now escaped the Great Google Wall of China, and can inform that the White Sunday Monday run will be held at Tafatafa Beach on the south side of Upolu. Please try an be there from noon onwards, run will be set for later. Keg will be there, but you will have to pay for the fales.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit