The Hash was hosted at the Apia Yacht Club, with Ring Ring as the Hare. She had set what she called the first ever Adventure Hash, which involved a lot of climbing on the seawall rocks, charging through the Court Compounds to the yells of irate groundskeepers, and a run back along the wall to the Yacht Club. Most Hashers then swam out to the va’a, except Poumuli and Wahoo who were ferried over in a kayak. It was nice out there on the va’a, until Cockblocker decided to push me over the edge and I landed badly on my neck.
But it was a spirited event set by Ring Ring, though we may need to start our runs later during daylight savings time – it was very hot on the rocks!
Princess of Darkness was the GM and she called the rowdy crowd to attention. There were several newbies, including Ben (schoolteacher brought by Do Me Twice), Linda (osteopath at MedCen), Carin from Italy (intern at the UN, brought by Ninja), Ginny brought by CB, and Wayne brought by Godfather. The rethreads were Kirsten (Poumuli’s sister), Snake, Fang, FBI, Rachel and Lily – none with a good excuse so they all drank.
Psychadelic was asked to be the Assistant Shoe Inspector, and found none. She tried to accuse Poumuli of having new shoes, which backfired, then double backfired as Psychadelic had the flu and GM asked Poumuli to take it. POD then told an amusing anecdote from PNG using a pidgin word for uselessness in connection with Sassygirl BJ stubbing her cigarette out in the mayo jar at Swashbucklers. Since Sassy was away the GM deemed Greenie to be the closest.
At this point Godfather’s other guest came into the circle, and was accused of indecent exposure through the medium of rainbow coloured budgie smugglers. He stuffed up again by claiming to have gone to school with someone called Joe.
The GM had been informed by the Apia Hash Repository for Useless Information (proprietor: Poumuli) that on this day in history in 1929, Canada legally recognized women as “persons” – Brynne step forward. Furthermore, she had also been informed that this was the day that Clinton claimed never to have had sexual relations with that woman – Lewinsky step forward, but was joined by the Yanks present. Titty Galore and Lily had been late for the shopping and had somehow lost keys belonging to someone else – they were assisted by DMT.
Celebrity Awards went to Swinger (closest relative Godfather), Snatch (closest relative CB) and our German Teacher for those fab stories in the Observer. Poumuli tried to get Ring Ring a special one for her modelling shots, but this had been done before so False Accusation. There then followed a disbursement of hashit from the Tafatafa Hash – looked like Wahoo, Pirate Princess, Tasha and Ring Ring did that award. And since no hash is complete without a Captain Mortein Award, this time for disobeying his wife, shutting a door that could not be unlocked and having Swinger come to the rescue – that is a Stupendous Award!
The GM then gave the Last Hash in Freedom Award to Poumuli and Wahoo, followed by CB for Reckless Endangerment for the episode on the va’a. Slippery announced that hashers should all have a beer at ten past eight on Wednesday as it would be 20:10, 20/10, 2010. Dean interrupted what should have been an award to Slippery by asking why Godfather was named thus, as he was known as Joe – both took a drink.
Wahoo’s hen’s night had been a raucous affair, with DMT winning the condom on a banana contest. Eveready had been waiting up for Karaoke, who returned with a badly bruised banana, and then said she had a headache! Both took the award.
Ninja was called forth to hand out the Chicken Award. He had been watching Back to the Future, and realised that the lead actor, who hated being called chicken, was really Canadian – Brynne graciously took the Chicken of the Week. We nearly floated the keg by then so Ring Ring got only a small award for her great haring.
Next week’s Hash will be hosted by Angela and Rebecca I believe, venue to be announced. We have been asked to come dressed as our favourite German – that will need some soul-searching for some of us! Details will be posted so watch the blog.
Poumuli, IKA Slit