Hash Trash - Run 1493

The hash was hosted by Mr and Mrs Whippy and Mr and Mrs Whippy Senior in Lotopa. It was a nice sunny afternoon as the large pack set out down the Lotopa streets, finding three false trails right off the bat. It got a bit confusing seeing Karaoke actually leading the pack twice. The trail however was delightfully flat and the dog population warned off by the arrival of Tasers in the country. We finished off turning around the LDS Temple and then on-home to the Whippy compound.

Princess of Darkness returned as GM and got the circle organized. There were two newcomers to Hash – Alicia and Luke –both from NZ, and neither had been told of the names rule, so Hot Nuts and Zsa Zsa got the Rules on Names Award. Zsa Zsa as usual made it a lengthy one. Rethreads were David (who ran in the Hash in 1992) and Mr and Mrs Whippy Senior, who both also violated the names rules, earning Mr Whippy a double. There were no new shoes, so AC/DC took that award, only to get a second one for wearing sunglasses.

FBI showed up late, and was excused from taking his Latecomer Award in Vailima, but Lewinsky had poured vodka in his Sprite anyway, so it was heavy going.

The GM repeated the Animal Cruelty Award to Poumuli for his enthusiastic use of the new Taser – for clarification – it was not a puppy, but a grown dog. It was the big cup, too.

Crash Bandicoot received the Messing Up 1st Major Job Award for not putting appropriate openings on a Minister’s car seats. The Smuggling Award had to go to Tony Blair and Selena for trying to take endangered species to Europe.

The GM described the scene as one of the Hashers rushed back to base to get at the beer, so Vailimaholic Award went to Larry. Poumuli sought approval for a new Pumpkin Award to any Hasher that leaves Hash early for no convincing reason. The first winner was Mr Whippy who will now wear the Pumpkin Hat until he can dob it off on someone else.

Crash Bandicoot described what could either be Hashmanlike Conduct or Deceit, but Lewinsky had snuck out saying he was fixing a cappuccino machine and instead went fishing in Savaii.

Captain Mortein described the wreckless driving of a hash mere, but the story got a bit confused as to cause and effect, so he joined Screamer in the award.

Tony Blair suggested that Poumuli should get a Ignorance of History Award, as today was Pearl Harbour Day, but Kamikaze seemed an obvious target instead. However, Eveready came forward with the fact check that the date in question was 7 December, to which Tony Blair countered that it was Eveready who had told him the story! Both took the award.

BB noted that last week’s hash had been an important one, and that several hashers had abandoned hash in favour of going to the SPREP opening function – Swinger, Hot Nuts, Tammi and Screamer.
Tammi nominated a new hasher for the Line Jumping the Hash Cash Award, but she got the name wrong so she joined “Bwyan” or David.

Strangler nominated Mr Whippy for the Pollution Award for taking us through several areas with congested traffic. There followed some lighthearted and frankly disgusting discussion of Zsa Zsa’s bike, in particular the upturned front and the ballspace. In the end Eveready, Zsa Zsa, Snake and later on Chilindrina for Sympathy Award. AC/DC and FBI were spotted holding up a brand new house – Leaning Award.

Eveready had spotted BB coming late and drove part of the trail, so a Partial Chariot Riding Award was handed out. Meanwhile Tony Blair nominated Lewinsky for ruining the family nature of hash for various horrible acts including feeding Happy Feet beer, so he got a Pour Parenting Award.

AC/DC nominated Dawn Raid for not living up to his Hash name by not overstaying and rather leaving. BB had given a Hasher a ride in her car, who had promptly left his shoes behind and giving Swinger cause for grief, so AC/DC stepped up for a Getting Hash Mere Into Trouble Award. Eveready nominated Tony Blair for getting drinks at HQ1 and not paying for them. A more solemn moment came as Mr Whippy explained the meaning and nature of Thanksgiving, a time for getting together and sharing of the harvest, which was what Hash was all about as well. This was then ruined by Captain Mortein’s comment about whether Thanksgiving happened before or after the Indians were slaughtered.

The Hosts and the Hare received warm accolades from the Hash, and Godfather blessed our partaking of the heavenly bounty that was laid out for us to enjoy.

Your Scribe will be off again, but back on 25th of January.

On On,

Poumuli.