Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Hash Trash 1603

The Hash was hosted at ACP, the Foundation of Samoa, by Uncle Fred. It had been a cool day, so the weather seemed good for a run around Vaitele. Unfortunately, it was SOTB who was to be the Hare, assisted by Tooth Fairy, so of course they took the easy way out and set the run with a car! This meant that we had some far between blobs and the run was set away from the direction of traffic. Anyway, it was out onto Vaitele Street, with a lot of confusion and no once found the trail initially. Finally a trail was found, but it meant a long false one for Pussysnatcher. He was all the way up the hill past Yazaki when he found the cross. Back we went through some industrial site and then up the next parallel hill. Same stuff but shorter, followed by another false trail about halfway to the Faleata golf course! Anyway, back down the hill past beloved Vailima and On Home. There were so many newcomers that Godfathers sweet nuts could not possibly provide succour to all in attendance. But we survived. Uncle Fred arrived with his usual fanfare and SOTB called the circle to order.

There were a heap of newcomers to Hash, Tony from NZ, Morgan, Imogen, Lulu and Trish from Mexico, and Equator, Tom, James and one guy who got Godfather’s name mixed up with that of a Joey, so Godfather had to take the down-down. The rethreads were also numerous, so apologies if I missed any – PS, Jaycey, Kat, Ted, Nelson and Fred. Excuses were too lame and carbon-footprinty.

Celebrity Awards went to Snatch (her Mom in paper again), Mrs Slippery, Godfather, Poumuli, Cockblocker, Do Me Twice and Fang, but I cant remember who did the closest living relatives for Frances and Fang.

This Day in History, we had 1950- the Stone of Scone abducted to Scotland (went to Witch Doctor), 1862 - largest mass hanging in US history (PS and visiting Americans) and the Feast Day of St James the Just (Swinger). Then there was the nice photo from the Observer of Godfather and Titty Galore that Snatch had had framed.
New shoes were found by Shoe Inspector Tallyho, so James and Morgan bravely drank from theirs. The shoes did not look like this:

The GM then started his awards by describing how a Hasher had gotten pissed off his nut on the weekend. This one went to Poumuli.

Opening up for nominations, Sassygirl BJ was quick off the mark with nominating Greenie for the Crime Award – coming to Hash with no Hash Cash. James nominated Tallyho for being a Wikipedia of Hash Lore, which he gratefully accepted in the spirit of passing on his vast knowledge to new Hashers. CB suggested that they should both take one, which was agreed. The GM then remembered he had asked the latecummer Sam to bring the BBQ, which it was not even though he has a truck replete with siren and flashing lights – Incompetence Award to Sam.

Poumuli nominated some of the young new runners who had brought a rugby ball along on the run – innocent bystanders may get the wrongful impression that we are some sort of sporting club! All the boys drank.

Kat nominated Poumuli for inviting people to a Christmas dinner then getting pissed and falling asleep before the food came. This was doubled as not all of Hash had been invited! Tallyho then ranted in about the weasel weak voices of the Front Running Bastards CB and Captain Mortein, and although close to an FBI award for himself, it was a most amusing rendition of the angry mad person living under a bridge. In the end all three took the Need Voice Lubrication Award.

Sassy nominated James for his academic achievement with a new doctorate, and while this should have backfired (Hashers should be notoriously lax in their academic adventures, at least if we look to the current crop as examples), James took it well.
Nelson nominated the entire group that he had come with for thinking they would not have any fun, and while the subsequent Haka wouldn’t have frightened a finch, they knew how to skull. Sassy also nominated Jaycey for getting the first part of her malu done. Snatch nominated Uncle Fred for butchering the Hash Song (he was actually being quite funny), and he was joined by Godfather. Uncle Fred then extended his usual standing invitation to the Hash to use the Foundation of Samoa, ACP, for future runs.

Sam nominated SOTB for mucking up arrangements for last week’s hash, so a First Time in History Award. Witch Doctor nominated Poumuli for abandoning her and Wahoo at another Christmas Party, but this time there were enough brain cells to counter with a “that was Hashmanlike behaviour”, which did the trick. Sam was caught with cellphonus interruptus, which was doubled as Sam had not gone home to his wife, instead partying with Jaycey. This one also included CB. Sam got the GM back for using his VERTS creds at night.

Tallyho then led the Hash in a most graphic rendition and performance of the Hash Anthem, before we saluted the hosts and the hares.
We have no venue set for next week as yet so watch the blog.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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