The Hash was hosted by Princess Fantapants,
Dannii and Paul at their house in Siusega (past residence of Screamer the First
and venue of many a Hash). The run was set by Nom Nom on this rather hot day. Out we went past the Catholic
Church and around the Faleata sports complex. Coming around on the Siusega side
there was a detour down to Swinger’s compound where Nom Nom abides. He and
Sassygirl BJhad arranged for all Hashers to do 10 push-ups, 10 star-jumps and
have a shot of something that tasted like kerosene, but was in fact Niu Voka.
Then it was on back to the house, where the circle was called by GM StrapOn.
New to Hash were Jonathan, a medico,
brought by someone called Courtney. There was the ANZ neighbour whose name
escaped. Lemiki and Ti from Fiji brought by someone called Nynette. Josh
brought by Snip & Tuck. So Sassy and Lewinsky did a down down.
Retreads were Sassy (looking for a man),
Fanta (leaning), Dannii and Paul (honeymooning), Karaoke (mowing the lawn in
Auckland), Princess Snip and Einstein (hanging out), and Matthew (forgotten his
hash name, hashed with us 20 years ago).
For staying away from Hash so long, Matthew
had his served in a sauce pan. He thought his Hash name should be Hashtag, but
the King suggested Toetag.
Shoe Inspector Nom Nom found Ti and Lemiki,
but Nom Nom took it on their behalf.
Celebrity Awards went to Gabby (quoted in
the paper) and Godfather (there was a fire in Siumu after he had consumed too
much of the extra spicy goulash).
This Day in History Awards went to Poumuli
(1814 – Treaty of Kiel: Frederick VI of Denmark cedes Norway to Sweden in
return for Pomerania), Sassy and Thom (1900 – The United States Senate accepts
the Anglo-German treaty of 1899 in which the United Kingdom renounces its
claims to the Samoan islands), the ANZ Banker (1960 – The Reserve Bank of
Australia, the country's central bank and banknote issuing authority, is
established), Lewinsky (1998 – Lewinsky scandal: Matt Drudge breaks the story
of the Bill Clinton–Monica Lewinsky affair on his Drudge Report website),
Karaoke (Feast Day of St Francis), Godfather (Feast Day of St Titian) and
StrapOn (International Fetish Day). The King requested more information on St
Titian.
The GM had several awards. On the run King
had driven past the pack, all sweating and panting, teasing them with sweeties.
Before King took his award, Godfather reminded that there would be an Elvis
impersonator at Travellers Point – if King goes, will that make them Elvi?
At the pitstop, Godfather had insisted on
showing off, and did 30 push-ups instead. So why not do 50 now? Lewinsky had
been persistently shouting come on you fat bastard, ostensibly to himself, but
POD was in front of him several times, so a Spousal Abuse Award to Lewinsky.
The newcomer Jonathan had claimed to be a
terrible runner, yet he was far and away the best of the pack (not saying much,
but…). He was joined by Coinsave and Will who had stopped to watch a girls
volleyball game, and they stood there for hours. They got the GF Proud Of You
Award. Witch Doctor was a latecummer.
Overstayer and Thom had avoided the
pitstop, so the GM made them do the push-ups and jumps, followed by the shots.
POD had her birthday last week, and also renewed her vows to Lewinsky. The King
explained that he wanted Lewinsky for a double as he had forced drinks on him,
and also for the DJ falling asleep.
Opening up for nominations, Sassy had
noticed some foul smells around the place, and gave the down down to Fanta and
the ANZ Banker. Cunning Linguist wanted to give a Carelessness Award to King
for losing his glasses, but this became a Heroes Award for CL.
Godfather was moved to see the two Fijians
at Hash to remind everyone of the great opportunity in the Interhash being
organised in Nadi in late May this year. He urged the Hash to consider
attending with the estimated 6000 runners from around the world, and asked POD
to gain share the information (which she has now done).
Karaoke was very interested in going, but
she said she was broke, so she nominated the ANZ Banker, who at Poumuli’s
urging was joined by Coinsave.
Sassy was really grateful to Fanta that his
toilet wasn’t working, as her phone had fallen in. Coinsave gave an Undercover
Celebrity Award to Poumuli for singing at the Oka Festival. (It was 3 Little
Birds, not No Woman No Cry).
Nom Nom thanked Overstayer and Thom for the
finely engraved mugs, and POD nominated Karaoke and King, for Karaoke’s dance
with, and disappointment in performance of, her dad. King was added in for
raising expectations.
The King obviously hadn’t had enough, and
claimed to set the record straight that the lawn mowing in Auckland was in fact
a Brazilian wax. Ungrateful Award to King.
The hosts and the hare – Fanta, Dannii,
Paul and Nom Nom were saluted before we had a wonderful feast of curry.
Next week is hosted by Pussysnatcher and
Snatched in Apaula Heights.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
