Hash Trash for 10th July 2006 - Run 1317 - Hosted by Karaoke and Eveready at Lotopa

Hash Trash – 10/7/2006

Hash 1317 was kindly hosted by Eveready and Karaoke at their palace in Lotopa village. Despite the rainy weather in the evening, the meres and hares braved the gloomy conditions in search of egg -shells as the bloody rain washed away the flour which was originally used to mark the hash trail. Pleased to report a successful mission was had by all. The distraction of hash agent’s communications was an excellent cover for the actual social misdemeanors that occurred during the past week. Well done FBI.

During the special award ceremony, the following hares & meres got their down-downs from bully Grand Master (Shafter):

New Boots were introduced to the usual miserable AHHH lots

Retreads - Shumacher, Wild Turkey and Patrick - Wild Turkey for being in Germany (full of bullshit) and Schumacher being the honest one owning up that they were migrating from Vailele to Vailima, because of his former landlord being fed up with his attitude. POD for sacrificing the hash run for her gymnastic (whattever!!!!! ) session. Luana for appearing only when the run is at their place and Jenny for cumming once a year, bit like Santa.

Ø FBI and his sidekick Agent Abel Cain (whom we all thought was Harry Potter) turned up just in time for the delicious spread prepared by Karaoke & Ever-ready. Without any knowledge of prior events earlier in the special awards ceremony, GM called an emergency hash circle and reiterated FBI’s long email to the hash group. Apparently, the email was read out earlier during the awards. For his CIA efforts, FBI was nominated to write the hash-trash and SOB will be BBQ Lieutenant.

Ø At the same time, Madam Soo was nominated by Eveready for wetting her pants during the run and had to change to her outing attire during the “circle of the ring” ceremonyJJ Soo, SOB and FBI accepted their down-downs, amidst the loud cheers and laughter from the hash band.

Ø Sassygirl being a Samaritan offered to drink most of Soo’s down-down in a paper cup. For her efforts, she will receive a down-down at the next hash run.

Ø While I was in the middle on completing this write-up, Agent O decided to send in her report to FBI. Please refer to her coverage in orange ink below.

However, that is not to say that the evening wasn’t free of unexplained disturbances in the force. It appears that a possible imposter (Agent Orange to provide Exhibit A), suspected to be impersonating agent-orange had infiltrated the ranks. The suspected infiltrator (identified in Exhibit A), cloaked in Agent Orange disguise, strategically placed himself between a member of the Tokelaeun Tapulega and a young Samoan chief. Motivation yet to be determined, although any discussions of pacific-rim geo-economic concerns regarding the management and investment of hash cash in the next financial quarter should be well documented for future reflective analysis. The accomplice to the suspected Agent Orange imposter (face not clearly shown in Exhibit B) was also identified. Accomplice alarm registered due to breaches of meeting protocol by his lack of enthusiasm for Agent O, assisting in the consumption of keg and B. arriving in the same car as imposter. Agent O with the help of fellow hasher Lessie procured stealth shadowing vehicle for the following suspects: ACDC, RC, Dr. Tekie, Kiwi, Agent Caine, and SOB.

On a lighter note, Flo and FBI peformed a Tokelau item to the loud singing of ACDC/RC/Dr. Tekie and cheering from Lessie and rest of the hash cheerleaders. Sassygirl revved it up by performing a solo dance, with off-note singing from ACDC. Poor Karaoke at this point in time wanted to rest but she was too polite to chase out the drunkard meres and hares. The Aussies sang waltzing Matilda, and countered by the Kiwi mafia led by Hansel and Gretel! Dr. Tekie’s request of the Samoan melody “Le Manutagi E” got everyone to sing more like a choir, and not a broken band! With the singing and dancing in full swing, ACDC decided to announce a dance show at Bora-Bora on Tues evening (11/7/06) at 1830 hours. Investigation into the nature of the long conversation between Agent O and Agent Caine will recommence at this location- Bora Bora! To end a successful hash run and fun evening, Shafter gave a word of thanks to Karaoke and Everready for the lovely spread of food, and then called the drunkard troops to proceed to headquarters- ON THE LOCKS!

With respect,
FBI
Director of Pacific Operations
CIA Headquarters
United States of Samoa