Hash Trash - Run 1477

Your scribe is back from travel, and even food poisoning would not keep him away. The hash was hosted by Emma and Will in Vaivase-Uta, and a large turnout we had. Will came back from setting the trail, deceptively non-sweaty, and the deluded hashers set out up the road. That was the first on-back. The trail led down another path instead, through a number of gardens until we reached the brook, thankfully not too wet. Through the jungle with a number of low branches to avoid and slippery roots. We then ascended a hill to find a track. Kiwi – who was constantly blowing Monica, took us down a completely wrong trail, then back up the hill, only to reacquire the trail parallel to where we were! Down the hill we went, another brook, and up through some more jungle. By this point the scribe was nearly puking, so wasn’t that observant. In any case we rejoined the Vaivase road for the on-home.

The GM called the hash circle to order and there were many newcomers to hash. There was Vampire’s mum (does that make her Mrs Dracula?), Neil from Oz, Nicky – Greg’s daughter with her boyfriend Dennis and Dennis’ mum. Brent, Poumuli and Probona were re-threads who were given the Pathetic Excuses Awards. Some leaners were spotted by SOTB, but the GM forgave them, except when Morten used Swinger’s real name in his defence.

The GM noted that the hash was being held in the EPC compound yet there were no outside lights, so Will got the Service (Non) Award. The GM also pointed to the row of coconuts in the garden and gave Emma the Bad Neighbourly Relations Award for so demarcating her boundaries. Recalling run 1472, the GM noted that Swinger had left his goolies behind on a fence. Since he has been absent for a while, the GM was pleased to announce that the goolies had been found by Poumuli, and were given back to Swinger to hand over to the rightful owner – BB. Poumuli joined in the down-down for recognizing and retrieving the goolies.

Celebrity awards were given to Sassygirl (opining that she trusted the Ministry of Health), FBI (squash tourney winner) and Skankanavian’s closest relation (Lewinsky) had to take hers for a large photo in the Observer.

Getting back to the run, the GM pointed out that Snake had nearly impaled himself on a tree and other sundry obstacles, so he got the Obviously Glasses Don’t Work Award. She turned on Ray Charles for a double Deception Award – he had arrived panting from strolling down the hill from his house, and had pretended to do the run.

SOTB nominated FBI for running the red light in front of the Police station – he tried to defend himself that he was practicing for the road switch – no dice there.

Poumuli recalled how one of the hashers was rightly famous throughout the Pacific, but he was very surprised to find an Annandale Estate, Falls and Resort in Grenada in the Caribbean. Godfather got a Tax Haven Award for that. Swinger had to join later as he is also in the Annandale clan.

Sassygirl nominated Kiwi for bringing back Monica (the bugle) and for lustily blowing her. Greg nominated Morten for Deception, as he had been wearing two different shoes for the run, and then removed them for the circle. Morten countered by accusing Greg of disloyalty to hash for joining the NZ team for the perimeter run. Greg had to remain in the circle as SOTB nominated him for finally wearing hash friendly shorts and not those mini-things he normally runs in.

Snake nominated Kiwi for the Global Warming Award – he had driven the 100 yards from his house to the hash. Lewinsky nominated Seema for a Drunk and Disorderly Award, but had to join her for a Chivalry Award for driving her home.

The GM spotted several latecomers – Bits and Pieces, Goer, Wylie Kylie and Kamikaze – they claimed to have been enjoying a full moon run – so they got the Mooning Award. Sassygirl had to step in to help Goer.

SOTB and Snake identified Greg’s daughters shoes as being new (no more that ten days old according to Snake’s nose), and she was horrified as she drank from the shoe. Don’t think she will be back…

As the keg was running low, the GM called the proceedings to a halt. The hare (Will) and the host (Emma) took their awards. The hash was treated to a sumptuous feast by Emma and several helpers, and the evening was enjoyed by all.

The next run will be at Mr and Mrs Whippy in Lotopa.

On On,

Poumuli.