Nullam at erat populus Etiam Super Abruptissimas Petras Beach in via. Minimum, quod
est ultimum, eo quod multa turba etiam
occupatus populus currere. Paucis etiam
lustrat novam constructionem insistamus per civitatem, ut nova ecclesia et
Fugalei Mulivai elit.
Et Princeps Tenebrarum
Poumuli longius, et accepit in in scaenarum in
Malifa, cum Principis Tenebrarum ire susicivus
milliarii et NUS flumen transierunt. Tum
rursus a scopulis,
ubi mira Suscepit tumescent providente
nuces.
And now for the uneducated troglodytes, the Hash was hosted
at On The Rocks on Beach Road. It was a last minute thing again, since a lot of
people were too busy to host or even to run. A few of us set out and also
surveyed the new construction around town, such as the Mulivai Cathedral and
the new Fugalei market. POD and Poumuli ventured further out and took in the
scenery towards Malifa, with POD going the extra mile past NUS and the river.
Then it was on back to On The Rocks, where Godfather had provided some
extraordinary tumescent nuts.
POD drew the circle together in a cosy setting, basically
because Lewinsky is too cheap to provide adequate lighting (he claimed some
customers preferred it that way! What, are they conducting Ugandan discussions?).
Anyway, there were no newcomers to Hash, no retreads and no new shoes.
Celebrity Awards went to Wahoo (Manumea won culinary award),
Godfather (photo in Samoa For Real) joined by Crime for One Infection and
Lewinsky for Da Head, Lewinsky for Tasi (canoe charity), Witch Doctor (for
Snake, who can cure cancer), Poumuli for CB (in society pages) and Rufie for Da
Head (headline Boy Holds Severed Head).
This Day in History Awards went to Witch Doctor (1692 –
Salem witch trials: in Salem, Province of Massachusetts Bay, five people, one
woman and four men, including a clergyman, are executed after being convicted
of witchcraft), POD on behalf of Mismanagement (1940 – British Prime Minister
Winston Churchill makes the fourth of his famous wartime speeches, containing
the line "Never was so much owed by so many to so few"), Poumuli for
Dawn Raid who broke these records while here (1960 – Joseph Kittinger
parachutes from a balloon over New Mexico at 102,800 feet (31,300 m), setting
three records that held until 2012: High-altitude jump, free fall, and highest
speed by a human without an aircraft) and Lewinsky (1998 – Lewinsky scandal: US
President Bill Clinton admits in taped testimony that he had an "improper
physical relationship" with White House intern Monica Lewinsky. On the
same day he admits before the nation that he "misled people" about
the relationship).
The GM had a few awards of her own, starting with the lament
from Titty Galore that her back was aching so much she could not bring the
softies. While we were awaiting Godfather’s explanation he was rendered
speechless, and took the Chiropractor Award.
Snake arrived late, got his
Latecummer Award as well as a repeat of the snake cancer story.
A Cellphonus Interruptus Award had to be given to Sassygirl
BJ and Rufie, while the GM continued rewarding admirable behaviour, this time
to Wahoo for actually doing the run. Not really thinking through the
implications, the GM raised up the issue of the appalling All Blacks-Wallabies
game, thus giving a Bledisloe Award to herself and Blowfish, with Witch Doctor
stepping in for Offspring regarding the SA ref.
An impressive Clash of the Titans is underway on the island.
No not the Iron Man contest, but the weight loss challenge between Rufie and
Lewinsky. We couldn’t decide whether to reward the leader or the lagger, so
both got the Undo The Good Work Award.
Calling on Crime for a report on the paddling, we were told
that Gayboy’s team had cleaned house. Looking for a closest living relative,
the GM decided on Rufie. “But I am not gay”… “You are a boy”, said Snake.
Sassy had been perturbed to see some mouldy nuts amongst
those brought by Godfather and called for a down down. When he asked if they
had been needed, we all chimed in that the ones he had brought were huge,
absolutely engorged, and perhaps had something to do with a certain back pain.
Huge Nuts Award to Godfather. He then excused himself repeatedly to go look at/for/find
his nuts.
Snake commented on the lack of lighting and that a “real”
electrician was needed, but since everyone knows that Lewinsky’s lights are out
(no one home) this one reverted to Snake. Lewinsky pulled out a long list that
he had compiled, proving the above point by the way, and nominated Rufie for
breaking the Hash BBQ and Blowfish for having a Blonde Moment (she couldn’t count
beyond 15 in the Hash Cash). After their down downs, Poumuli asked that we
honor the latest inductee in the CRS Club (the Cant Remember Shit Club), as
Lewinsky had to resort to a list.
Rufie reported that a gumboot had been stolen from his boat.
Obviously a Crime. Poumuli nominated Wahoo for the Puppy Confusion Award for
repeatedly calling their new pup Lucky instead of Happy as christened by
Amalia. On that note, Witch Doctor had observed Happy swimming on the weekend,
and looked like he was escaping Alcatraz. This failed.
Rufie nominated Blowfish for the Thank You Award as he couldn’t
have beaten Lewinsky without her. He also reverted to the gumboots, as the one
that hadn’t been stolen was gone the next day. He joined Crime in this award
for being a dumbarse and leaving a single boot on the boat.
The Host and Hare were saluted, and food was ordered from
Sunrise, which when it arrived resulted in a triple down down for Gayboy.
Next week’s run will be hosted by Swinger at Siusega, with a
run around the new SIDS Conference facilities. The week after will be hosted by
Snake in Vaitele.
Your Scribe will be absent next week so a volunteer
Assistant Trainee Scribe is requested.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
