Thursday, July 09, 2015

Hash Trash 1784

The Hash was hosted by Nutcracker, Hot Nuts and Swinger at the Nuthouse in Vailima. A lovely day with just a bit of cloud, and off we went to the Cross Island Road, following minute dots of flour. In right past the Stevenson Museum, and on into the botanic gardens. There was a false trail laid up to the Tomb, but luckily Cockblocker was running fast ahead so many of us didn’t have to do the whole thing. Back into the gardens the trail led into the Forestry station and then into the bush again, all the way up to the steep trail, eventually ending up above Mynahs. After that it was on-home, where Godfather’s succulent nuts were awaiting.

POD returned to GM duties after a great performance the week before by Slim Shady. First she called the newbies forward – these were Red Light District, Bag Shag and Skidz from Christchurch Hash, and all took a down down.

Retreads were Flapper and Worker Shirker from ChCh (freezing tits off in NZ), Godfather (organ replacements), Ali bin Shaggin (taking care of mum) and Iapi (busy).

Shoe Inspector ProBoner failed miserably, having tried to pin Poumuli and one of our visitors. This Day in History Awards went to: Poumuli for Captain Mortein (1848 – Slaves are freed in the Danish West Indies (now U.S. Virgin Islands) by Peter von Scholten in the culmination of a year-long plot by enslaved Africans), Swinger (1892 – Western Samoa changes the International Date Line. Monday, July 4 occurs twice, resulting in a year with 367 days), Daz and Iapi (1933 – The first rugby union test match between the Wallabies of Australia and the Springboks of South Africa is played at Newlands Stadium in Cape Town) and Pussysnatcher and Worker Shirker (US Independence Day).

Celebrity Awards went to Gayboy for Elle McJr (in paper), Sunnyside Up (Cyclone Rachel named a freak) Murray for IRA (husband in the paper),  Pussysnatcher for Snatched (in the paper) and Hot Nuts (old photo reprinted in paper, with him looking like a frightened vole).

The GM had some special awards, starting with Most Expressive Italian on the Run Award to Claudia. This followed with a Non-Communicative Award to Ali bin Shaggin for wearing earplugs. After the run the GM has asked Godfather how his new organs were doing which elicited a response about susceptibility to moisture. During his down down Red Light District “played” the ukulele to vast amusement.

Opening up for nominations, Murray wanted Swinger to get a disrespecting the Manu by wearing a Samoa hat during his down down. This instead became a Not Listening to the GM Award to Murray, as the GM had already given special dispensation.

Sassygirl BJ nominated Sam for a Gratitude Award for renting his truck to the ChCh Ladies, who then serenaded Sam with a special song that ended with a “pile of cum”. Poumuli, noting that Mismanagement should be held to the highest standards of ethical behaviours, nominated POD for Corrupting A Public Official – she had tried to “give” a bottle of wine to a customs official.
Sassy nominated the ChCh Ladies for being late and making her miss the run, but she was also made to join them. The Ladies sang another one of their “songs”. Poumuli, noting that Godfather was renowned for his attention to medical and physical details, as well as his need to strengthen up his grip, presented him with a medical squeeze ball in the shape of a tit. Lewinsky joined in for to fondly fondling the medical equipment while Godfather drank.

Crime was nominated for not being able to break into a car, and Swinger nominated Gianluca for sneaking in and for Being Italian. On that note Sassy nominated Aaron, who had been going around saying he was French, but actually is from ChCh – Confusing Sassy Award.

Sassy then nominated Wahoo for the Mother of the Year Award for the screaming child before the circle. Slim Shady nominated ProBoner for the Slacker Mother of the Year for postponing her birthday party – Lewinsky joined for Nieceal Neglect.

Poumuli nominated Slim Shady for the Chicken Award for not being willing to GM, and was joined by CB for losing the chicken hat. Swinger nominated Red Light District and Skidz for the All-NZ Super XV final.

Godfather asked to address the circle, telling of how his newly acquired hearing aid shouldn’t get wet, but he got all sweaty on the run and had taken it out when POD asked him the question. So for taking advantage of the deaf, he nominated the GM. Actually that is a summary of a ten-minute speech.

Hot Nuts nominated Diane for the Extraordinary Award, as it was her keys that they were trying to retrieve from the locked car, only to find the keys inside the kitchen. This down down was so fast, but requests for a repeat were denied.

ChCh Ladies sang a farewell song that went “may the Hash go in peace, may the Hash get a piece”, before we saluted the hosts and the hares, Hot Nuts, Nutcracker and Swinger. A lovely meal was prepared for us which we all enjoyed.

Watch the blog for next weeks run.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

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