Hash Trash 1819

The Hash was hosted by the Lewinsky tribe at their seaside cyclone bait reserve in Taumeasina. The day had been hot, but the wind was blowing briskly by the water, and brisk blows were of course a Lewinsky specialty. But as soon as we ran out the gate, that blessed wind was blocked by houses and trees. We went out on the road east, and turned off where it runs up to Fagalii and NUS. Right so – we went all the way up to NUS past the cemetery and then down the Faatola Road to the 4 corners by the UN building. Then it was on home past Apia Park. Those who stayed on that side of the road had an uneventful return. Godfather, who did not, was mauled in the arse by a dog, right on his tattoo. So it was blissful to not only have the cold nuts to drink, but the ice to apply to said dog bite.

Hot Nuts stepped in as GM this week, and concluded that there were no newbies to Hash. There were a plethora of retreads though. These were: Prince, Gianluca, Eveready, Karaoke, Crash Bandicoot, Cougar and Alex.

This day in history awards went to: Sassygirl BJ (363 – Roman Emperor Julian moves from Antioch with an army of 90,000 to attack the Sassanian Empire, in a campaign which would bring about his own death – don’t mess with the Sassies!), Ring Ring (1876 – Alexander Graham Bell is granted a patent for an invention he calls the "telephone") and Gayboy (International Women’s Day).

Celebrity Awards went to ProBoner (huge photo in the Observer) and StrapOn for BB (pictured as part of the Forum Election Observer Group).

The GM then did something terrible and thanked Poumuli for his dedication to unearthing celebrities and historical nuggets with a down-down.

Opening up for nominations, Sassy congratulated ProBoner for taking part in the 8-week challenge, but noted that her brother had been completely unsupportive – Bastard Award to Lewinsky. POD also called for the Hash to note the momentous occasion of having the first female Deputy Leader of the ruling party and nominated Fiame’s closest living relative – Speedhumper.

Sassy noted that this was the first time two hashers sweated on the walk – Jill and Sunny Side Up, who were joined by one who didn’t sweat – Karaoke.

Latecummers Spellcheck and Witch Doctor were rewarded. POD had a nomination for the Unsupportive Male of the Month. Karaoke had been doing a weight loss programme and was looking great at a function; everyone said so, except Eveready who claimed it was just the dress. After an attempted right of reply, more like a dig the grave deeper, Eveready took the award.

Poumuli nominated Prince for answering to the name “Babe” when uttered by Lewinsky, while StrapOn nominated Gayboy for always leaving Hash early to avoid his down-downs and leaving them to him. Gayboy countered by also nominating Lewinsky for not trusting him with the BBQ, but the circle agreed that Gayboy was too fondly fondling the sausages.

Poumuli nominated Wahoo for her birthday. Sassy gave an Undue Athleticism Award to Kat. Slim Shady then nominated Godfather for the Inappropriate Contribution Award, as he had bought some stuff for Titty Galore that clearly had some personal benefits involved. Godfather also admitted that he was in fact wearing Titty G’s running shorts by mistake, which may have explained why his arse got mauled.

Poumuli nominated Lewinsky for doing a short-cut, which he countered by saying that Gayboy had threatened to beat him up. While this was not accepted, the question as to whether Gayboy had been running behind him brought both of them the Short Cutting Bastards Award.

Gayboy had been watching the 7’s in Vegas and wanted to congratulate Fiji for their great performance by nominating Slim Shady and Lewinsky, but for some reason this went to Alex instead.

Sassy again nominated Mr Whippy for the Gentleman Award for checking that all the female runners were doing alright. This was quickly repeated by Strap On who thought Mr Whippy must be sad that Peyton Manning was retiring (he named his son after him).

The Hare and the Hosts, Lewinsky, POD and Crime were saluted before we threw down some bangers and mash.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit