Friday, March 18, 2016

Hash Trash 1820

The Hash was hosted by AC/DC and Dawn Raid at the Tokelau compound. It had been a rainy last few hours, and was still drizzling as we arrived. The run had been set in reverse from last time, which although it meant we knew where to go, we first had to slog down the long road to the bridge. To put this in perspective – have you ever felt the blast of a convection oven? The road was baked during the day and had now been soused with lots of water, causing some serious evaporation. The fug of moisture that enveloped us was as unpleasant as Murdoch’s armpits. Only a small group took the lead, but by trying to turn into the woods too early they actually allowed the slow pokes to catch up. And it was last placed Poumuli who found the right trail and blazed the way on home. In Godfather’s absence there were no nuts at the beginning, but POD showed up with a few bags to remedy the situation.

POD was GM again, no takers being found for her social experiment with sharing out that responsibility. New to Hash were Marcus from Norway, son of Dawn Raid. When asked what other family he had in the Hash he blustered through with Uncle, Aunty and Aunty Aunty. Then there was Kieran from Oz, here with CI for 12 months. Finally Aaron from NZ of fame. They all got a down down because of small numbers in the circle.

Retreads were Dawn Raid (been over, under and beside his motorcycle, twice). Witch Doctor was appointed Shoe Inspector, and found that Aaron’s shoes were new, but did in fact belong to AC/DC, who took the award.

Celebrity Awards were numerous, all for women of the Hash, but none were present. Thus the GM nominated Prince for his girlie laugh, Jill to represent Queen Beatch, Wahoo for Sassygirl BJ and Il Capo for Slim Shady.

This Day in History Awards went to Gayboy, but in his absence Cunning Linguist took the first (1781 – William Herschel discovers Uranus. Poumuli claimed he was Dutch), Nom Nom and Snake (1877 – First ever official cricket test match is played: Australia vs England at the MCG Stadium, in Melbourne, Australia) and Snake (Mass of St Gregory).

On the run there had been multiple reports of Crime being a gentleman – most uncommon. He was joined by Nom Nom and Aaron who had been squeamish about getting their shoes wet in the river.
Turning to the theme of the run – island style – the GM gave an On The Ball Award to co-host Dawn Raid for failing to heed this. He was joined by Prince, who upon arrival was, damned I have nothing, went to the car and comes back like an island queen.

Opening up, AC/DC nominated Snake who instead of running had said bugger it lets drink instead, which resulted in a double. AC/DC also nominated Lewinsky for his sexy over-dressing, not knowing that Lewinsky is on the wagon, thus whipping boy Poumuli had to take it.

Il Capo complained that on the run she had been the only female, and the front runners had abandoned her. This meant an Ungentlemanly Award to Mr Whippy who normally waits, Kieran for being too fast, and Wahoo as the third female on the run.

AC/DC’s uncles were introduced to the circle and given a down-down each. Cunning Linguist then accused Poumuli of poor research, as he had missed an article on Tokelau, written by, er, Cunning Linguist. Both of them took this award.

There was a brief birthday award for Milu, cousin of AC/DC, before Witch Doctor nominated Marcus for being so so worried about getting sunburn, then getting it anyway. He was joined by Dawn Raid and uncle Poumuli, who still gets burned after 9 years.

AC/DC nominate Aaron for being a stand up guy, who tried coconut climbing on his first visit, and also Marcus for honouring him with attending Hash. Poumuli nominated Lewinsky for being the only one who laughed at the suggested name for the GM’s car – the Podule, forgetting about the whipping boy arrangement.

The Hare and Hosts were saluted before we ate lots of island food, as well as Milu’s birthday cake.
Watch the blog for next week’s run.

On On

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