Hash Trash 1833

The Hash was hosted by AC/DC at the Tokelau compound in Moamoa. It had been a blustery rainy day, so AC/DC hadn’t even set a trail. There were mutinous voices heard that we should head straight for the keg. But when Godfather arrived it looked like we would have a window without rain. We have run this trail twice so we knew where we were going. Out left along the road we went down a path through the bushes, and over a surprisingly dry creek bed. Once over the other side, we hit the wider dirt track, and then the rain hit us. Hard. Running for shelter that wasn’t there in the manner of the blind man, in the dark room, looking for the black cat – that isn’t there, we re-grouped and set off down the tar sealed road. Apologies, the rain was blinding so road signs were ignored. Godfather called on back as he knew a better and shorter route than our intended. Thus we went down another dirt track, over the creek again, and arrived at the back of some school building. We were again on a good road, but were viciously attacked by some dogs – gate open of course – to be rescued by Poumuli’s well aimed stone, and Captain Mortein’s version of a cluster bomb – a bouncing coconut. Stupid dogs actually ran after it! We finally got to the road to Chanel College and then it was on home. Drenched as we were, Godfather’s lovely nuts were lovely as usual.

Eveready stepped in as GM for the day. There were no newbies, but the retreads were Nettie (Twin Peaks daughter), Pea (AC/DC bro) and Ring Ring. Shoe inspector Black Swan failed.

Celebrity Awards went to Slim Shady (in the paper with the Georgians) and AC/DC (film star).

This Day In History Awards went to Captain Mortein (1219 – Northern Crusades: Danish victory at the Battle of Lyndanisse (modern-day Tallinn) establishes the Danish Duchy of Estonia. According to legend, this battle also marks the first use of the Dannebrog, the world's first national flag still in use, as the national flag of Denmark), Witch Doctor (1940 – World War II: Norway surrenders to German forces), AC/DC (1991 – 1991 Kokkadichcholai massacre: The Sri Lankan Army massacres 152 minority Tamil civilians in the village of Kokkadichcholai near the eastern province town of Batticaloa) and Captain Mortein (Global Wind Day).

Opening up for nominations Slim Shady gave Poumuli the Self-Immolation Award. Trying to light the BBQ on Sunday he had accidentally got flames up his face, singeing off his nose hairs, and complained that all he could smell was disgusting. He was joined by Slim Shady for taking a close up photo and posting it on FB.

Poumuli recalled an earlier discussion with Mismanagement of the need for Apia Hash to set up a position of Religious Adviser, common to most other Hashes, whose sole task it would be to ensure that it doesn’t rain on Hash. Godfather had enthusiastically endorsed this and put himself forward. As we had been soaked on the run, Poumuli suggested that a down down was in order. Godfather explained that the rain had actually stopped when he arrived, and it was AC/DC who gave the On On, thus the Rainmaker Award went to AC/DC.

Seeking to mete out more punishment, Poumuli nominated Captain Mortein for the Father of the Week Award for the numerous, painful and earsplitting times that Marco Polo had fallen before the run and during the circle. The GM got in on the act by adding Vehicle Abuse, but Captain Mortein alleged that this was Pirate Princess’ doing, as she would always load her entire aiga into the poor vehicle.

Karaoke then nominated AC/DC for the Future Troublemaker Award, as his son had been nibbling all over her and fondling her bewbs. As per tradition, Godfather exclaimed that he was proud of him.

Ring Ring was then nominated for getting into trouble in Guam, getting kidnapped from her stall at the Pacific Arts Festival. She was joined by leaners Pusiapa and Captain Mortein, as well as Pea who was also in Guam, albeit in a non-kidnapping function.

AC/DC then nominated Crime for a double as he was being suspiciously quiet, obviously contemplating something nefarious. Poumuli nominated Nettie and Wahoo for thinking that the Manu Samoa had been playing the State of Georgia as opposed to the Republic of Georgia, but ended up as whipping boy with Wahoo.

We then celebrated with AC/DC his birthday – cake provided by Karaoke – with the usual raucous singing. AC/DC thanked the Hash Family for all the fun and friendship, before he and the crew took the Hosts and non-Hare award. We had a great feast.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit