Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Hash Trash 1864

The Hash was hosted in Vaoala by Poumuli, Wahoo, Yahoo, Snatched and Toa, with Pussysnatcher as lead Hare. We had not announced this ahead of time so that we would have sufficient numbers for the run! When the trail had been scouted it had been a clear day, but after two days of downpour the plans were in jeopardy. But Pussysnatcher was so enthusiastic we went ahead and set the trail, which would be known as “Hold onto a tree for dear life”. The runners set out on the access road above the house and entered the deep forest. The Hares had cut back as much as possible, while leaving trees for handholds, but there was a lot of sliding, rockfalls and general hubbub as the pack descended towards the river. A false trail led up towards two minor waterfalls, then the pack continued down river and crossed twice before emerging through the bushes at the bottom of Bank Street. Most avoided the second false trail, but it is certainly also worth exploring for future trails. Some over-keen runners then went down towards SPREP and up again past Mynas, with the rest staggering in for some of Godfather’s cool refreshing nuts.

POD as our GM called the circle to order and invited the newbies to introduce themselves. These were Hetti from Sweden, Dean from New Orleans who came with Uncle Swinger, and Lola from Pago brought by Godfather and Titty Galore. Poumuli got an immediate Cunning Linguist Impersonator Award for greeting Hetti in loud Swedish.

The retreads were Do Me Twice (trying to wean her family off her), Chez (waiting for weaning), Nelson (in Oz), Swinger (in Oz), Spellcheck (migrated), Stewart (aliens), Pussysnatcher (NZ) and Crime (I couldn’t hear him so lets say Tafaigata).

Shoe inspector was not needed to be appointed as Nelson’s new boots were so glaring. Poumuli noted that this was a family with long Hash experiences, so how come Nelson didn’t know this rule, and was rewarded by Swinger joining Nelson.

Celebrity Awards went to Slim Shady (maid of honour) and Cockblocker (in paper with Moana).
This Day in History Awards went to Hetti from Sweden (1814 – Treaty of Kiel: Frederick VI of Denmark cedes Norway to Sweden in return for Pomerania), Lola from Pago (1900 – The United States Senate accepts the Anglo-German treaty of 1899 in which the United Kingdom renounces its claims to the Samoan islands), Cockblocker (1917 – The United States pays Denmark $25 million for the Virgin Islands), Witch Doctor (1938 – Norway claims Queen Maud Land in Antarctica), Lewinsky (1998 – Lewinsky scandal: Matt Drudge breaks the story of the Bill Clinton–Monica Lewinsky affair on his Drudge Report website), Gayboy (Feast of the Ass), Pussysnatcher (Feast Day of St Paul the Hermit) and StrapOn (International Fetish Day).

The GM had some doozy awards, starting with StrapOn for dobbing himself in via Facebook for the Tooth Fairy Fail Award, made respectful for trying to explain to child that the Tooth Fairy’s GPS wasn’t working.

Turning to Godfather, who had been presented with some fish by Titty G, and presuming them dead he proceeded to clean them when lo and behold one swam away – a Lazarus Fish Award for Godfather. Then there was a congratulatory award for Gayboy for coming 4th in the Army of Two competition.

Turning to the run, there had been complaints of excessive environmental destruction and deforestation on the part of some runners. While directed at Sassygirl BJ and Godfather, it became clear that all the runners had in some part contributed.

Thus the GM turned to Slim Shady for her posting of her eyebrow extensions, er, eyelash extensions, and for her sexy new outfit.

Opening up for nominations, Gagging Diva had asked Nom Nom why he was turning down the offer of a beer. He had a fever. What kind of fever? Beaver fever! Sassy then nominated CB for the Unhygiene Award for washing his underarms in the pool and blocking the pump. Sassy also nominated Poumuli for the selective deck washing with the water blaster.

Clark accused Pussysnatcher and Cockblocker for not taking the road less travelled, in that they had ended up below rather than above Mynas, and as the GM had said that those runners were hardcore, a Softcore Award went to PS and CB.

Sassy also nominated Black Pussy for not only running in jandals but for chariot riding with Malu and Crime. DMT nominated Chez for being a born and bred Hash Mere, as she had recounted a story from her youth whereby she would sit under the keg and grab the drips.

Poumuli had been asked to get a football shirt for Black Pussy and had located a Palestine soccer shirt in Morocco. However they refused to print Black Pussy on it, so he had to take it to the US for printing. After all that she is still not wearing it to Hash. Coz I am too fat! Both took this down down.
Slim Shady made the announcement regarding Leilani Jackson’s fundraiser for cancer in April and encouraged donations.

The Hares and Hosts were saluted, and a whole lot of goulash was consumed.
On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

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