Hash Trash 1868

This epic Hash was hosted by StrapOn with Nom Nom and Peeping Clam.  It was a live-hare run given that AC/DC had once again cancelled at the last minute. Nom Nom gave some cryptic instructions as to the general route. We did not yet know that they had scouted it using Skyeye. Fairly mundane trot then up the Cross Island Road to the corner of Ray’s Taxis. Mundane but very much uphill! At the corner the walkers were given the choice of a return straight back or a yomp through the Stevenson’s Museum garden. The runners went down to the Vaoloa water works, and were assured that the path by the river would eventually get to an open gate. It wasn’t so much as an open gate but a gaping hole in the undergrowth. As we prepared to cross the river, a bemused local woman was bathing her little boy and washing clothes on the other side. Again we were assured that the road did lead somewhere, but Godfather had second thoughts about Nom Nom’s intention to cross the next ridge. Having ascertained that we could cross below the next set of houses, some of us abandoned the hare-brained idea to climb up the new feeder pipe. It basically went straight up! Stories were later told of near death moments, but the length those hasher s actually ran, 8.1 km and mostly uphill rates it as even grittier than the worst Pussysnatcher ever took us through. The Godfather led runners were guided across a deep ford, but we got to see a marvellous waterfall and have now found a way to set a new trail. We came out on the road that goes past Samoa Butchers, and then on home. Godfather’s nuts were most welcome.

POD as GM called the circle together. Newbies to Hash was Mark, brought by Rachel (palagi with an office in Samoa). The retreads were Matt & Nat (returnees, stuck in Oz), Silent But Deadly (in Oz), Eveready and Karaoke (in Vegas!) and Rachel (in Oz). They were joined by a representative of Sinalei (the name of Eveready’s granddaughter) – Godfather.

The GM asked Rachel how many runs she had missed – enough runs to forget about the glasses on her head apparently. StrapOn was also called in for missing the retreads – he had been making sure someone got married.

Celebrity Awards went to Il Capo (for her race photo) and Poumuli (useless in gathering celebrities).

This Day in History Awards went to POD (1990 – Carmen Lawrence becomes the first female Premier in Australian history when she becomes Premier of Western Australia), Screamer (1994 – Four thieves break into the National Gallery of Norway and steal Edvard Munch's iconic painting The Scream), Lewinsky (1999 – United States President Bill Clinton is acquitted by the United States Senate in his impeachment trial), Crime (2008 – Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd makes a historic apology to the Indigenous Australians and the Stolen Generations), Nom Nom (World Day of the Sick), and Eveready and Karaoke (Valentine’s Day).

Shoe Inspector Il Capo made a beeline for Peeping Clam and Eveready who were guilty as charged. Turning to the run, Lewinsky had been a knight in shining armour trying to rescue POD – er POD’s watch. Eveready gave him a new naughty shot glass. He was joined by StrapOn for a respectable one for the run that we had all, er, enjoyed.

Also on the run there had been a a bit of a wardrobe malfunction, with Peeping Clam playing a bit of peek-a-boo, commando style. She was joined by Il Capo who had helpfully declaimed that we were all going to die.

Il Capo rejoindered that this had been a run for heroes, and that the superheroes Peeping Clam and POD should get an award. Nom Nom then started a convoluted tale of Lewinsky, calling to him that his girlfriend was weeping, apparently while swinging from the branches (not clear who was swinging). Eveready opined that he would have cried if Karaoke was weeping. In any event it was decided that Nom Nom, Weeping Clam and Lewinsky should take this one.

We had not seen Eveready for 6 weeks, so when images appeared on Facebook of their stay in Vegas, with Eveready basically draped in a young lady of no bra, which Cougar showed to her mother in law, who responded why-does-Karaoke-have-no-clothes-on, resulted in so much hilarity that Karaoke had to re-enact it.

Witch Doctor nominated Mark for leaning, and Rachel for not telling him the rules. Nom Nom nomnominated Gagging Diva for doing the longest run ever, and that she had to drink 4 glasses of water after. Poumuli said that in that case Lewinsky should join as he had had to drink 8 glasses of water. So it was.

Sassygirl BJ nominated Silent But Deadly for just sitting there quietly after the run, 1000 mile stare in amazement, living up to hash name. Sassy also nominated persistent promising leaver Sunny Side Up.

Il Capo nominated Mr Whippy for cutting the trail, while Witch Doctor nominated Poumuli for working with some guy who decided to visit Bad Investment in gaol. Poumuli suggested, and got, the inclusion of Lewinsky in this, as he needs to be in jail.

Sassy brought in Titty Galore for complaining that she was not getting any exercise, yet she was motoring away in the run. She also brought in those yet sans down down – Jessica, Witch Doctor, Pirate Princess and Sassy.

StrapOn had been in Suva, and had earlier discussed going to Hash there with Poumuli, but his emailed directions arrived a day late. Accepting, Poumuli countered that it was down to StrapOn’s piss-poor email service.

Not being exactly sure of the translation here, but last week Il Capo had gotten terribly drunk, and Crime had caught a crab, possibly for her, that somehow was then stuck in the toilet. Witch Doctor then called for a Hash Blessing for Poumuli and Wahoo, for her expectancy.

Next week’s run will be hosted by Eveready and Karaoke – PINK RUN.

We saluted the hosts and hare and enjoyed some stir-fried cat from Sunrise.

On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit