The Hash was again hosted at Nafanua restaurant by Witch Doctor and Black Pussy. POD was the de facto live hare and took us on a run out back up to Leififi, across towards the UN and then back home through Vaiala.
POD was GM, and new to Hash were Tui from NZ and Tavita (trying to keep up with the ladies, and then advertising – down down). Retreads were Tua (his dad was an original Hasher – Dr Blunt – brought by someone called Joe), Jess (watching cows in NZ), Phil (fishing) and of course Godfather joined for breach of Hash Rules.
Godfather then recounted the fundraiser he and Dr Blunt had done in the late 70’s running past the soon-to-be-burned to the ground Tivoli Theatre, and raising some $3000 for a sick child’s medevac by running the entire island in one day.
Screamer was appointed Shoe Inspector who found Tua’s spanking new ones. His disbelief lasted until Gayboy filled his shoe, but he drank it.
Celebrity Awards went to Slim Shady in whose absence Peeping Clam and latecummer Gayboy partook instead. (The press clipping described the Shape of Mele’s Quilt – which made the GM gag).
This Day in History Awards went to Poumuli (845 – Paris is sacked by Viking raiders, probably under Ragnar Lodbrok, who collects a huge ransom in exchange for leaving), Crime (Feast Day of St Dismas the Good Thief), Screamer (Feast Day of St Margaret Clitherow) and Peeping Clam (International Day of Solidarity with Detained and Missing UN Staff Members).
Turning to the GM Awards, Il Capo has again had the tendency to run so hard that she gets the shivers and shakes, so a Stress Award. Keeping on the subject, Il Capo had been talking about her students, and mentioned that one named Tavita was her stupidest student. Thus for all Tavitas everywhere Tavita got the Stupid Award.
Driving from home, the GM had passed the UN building and saw googly eyed Jess run towards Phil, and promptly fell over – Arse over Tit Award. And also at the UN building, while she and Peeping Clam were going to go the long way, Tua decided on the shorter route. While Tua was peeing, Tui helpfully demonstrated how to make him go the long way – by setting off! Tui got the Well Done Award.
Il Capo nominated Nelson for the Criminal Award as she had to call him four times to get his Hash Cash. She also nominated Lewinsky for wearing a sexy skin tight black shirt – Lewinsky joined her in the Helen Keller Award.
Tua then nominated POD, as he had managed to get her number after 5 minutes of making her acquaintance. Gayboy nominated Lewinsky for being too cheap to have ready phone credit. Wahoo hadn’t had a down down so Poumuli had to take this.
Hosts and hare were saluted, then we had lots of pizza.
Next week will be hosted by Screamer and Gagging Diva in Motootua, and we will be back to 5.30
Poumuli, IKA Slit