Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Hash Trash 1543

The Hash was hosted by Wahoo and Poumuli at Wahoo’s Dad Norman’s property in Malololelei. Dawn Raid was the Hare, and much cooking assistance was provided by AC/DC. The run was set on paper and took the hashers through the unsealed tracks of the area, with some serious hills and several false trails. A major part of the trail, the Jungle Boogie as Dawn Raid put it, went down the cow path that we had utilized last year, but taking a different route through the thigh-high grass, resulting in much yelping as cuts were administered to bare legs by the unforgiving foliage. The walkers had been spared the ordeal and were sent down a short cut. While this was a fairly long and hard run, the milder temperatures at those heights helped and there were no heat strokes this time. Your Scribe was mopping up the rear of the pack so didn’t see who was leading or who was taking the false trails, but we will have some photos from Slippery posted.

Screamer stepped in as GM, and started by getting those new to Apia Hash to introduce themselves, and there was Patrick, brought by Tasha. There were many rethreads – Dizzy (back for a quick visit and Jazz), Slim Shady (slacker), Ninja (overseas), Vulture (has been away for 6 years in Solomons, Tonga and NZ), Blank Cheque, Dana, Pirate Princess and Slippery (seeing doctors in Oz).

The new shoes were so blindingly bright and obvious that Slim Shady couldn’t escape, and gargled the shoes clean. Celebrity Awards went to Sassygirl BJ (3 stories in the Observer, accepted on her behalf by SOTB), Snatch (Mum in Observer, article, accepted by Pussysnatcher), David (repeat of SPREP anniversary story), Psychadelic (photo in paper) and Brynne for doing the Samoa national anthem at an event.
This Day in History Awards went to all the UN employees in recognition of UNESCO being founded – Carin, Ophelie and Ninja. The GM invoked rule number 8(b) relating to soiling or peeing on the trail as a sign of disrespect to the Hare, which went to Ben and Mad Hatter (she was absent at that point). The GM also nominated a Hash Mere for her friendly cleaning skills in mopping up her flatmate’s puke after the last Hash – this went to Carin and Ophelie, who was showing some reminiscent discomfort at this point. Then the GM returned a bunch of Hashit (stuff left behind at previous Hash) to Do Me Twice and SOTB.

A special Georgie Porgy Pudding Award went to Cockblocker for making the girls cry. This reminded the GM that she had a further award for being a Whiny Bitch, after several hashers had commented on how much whining SOTB had made on his Facebook page about conditions in India, missing his Mum etc. Poumuli was then nominated for Stuntman of the Week Award for his numerous pratfalls during SPREP Sports Day, but primarily a slow motion fall with a Frisbee. Numerous invitations for a repeat demonstration were declined.

The GM spotted Marcus for leaning but also dobbed him in for leaving Samoa. Opening up for nominations, the GM recognized Ophelie who nominated CB for Reckless Behaviour in bringing tequila to Hash, which in fact had been purloined from the Host (one Screamer). CB tried the “I didn’t force you to drink it” defence, but lost. Pirate Princess nominated Dawn Raid for Reckless Endangerment of Children Award (mosquito coil section) for his placement of coils within burning distance of little people. Carin nominated Poumuli for messing up her name on the blog (its all been corrected now!).

SOTB tried to get an Imposter Award to Dana for wearing the same shirt as him, but the GM ruled that this must be tested. SOTB downed the award pronto, so imposter charge stuck (that’s a bit like testing witches by throwing them in a lake).
DMT wanted to award the Chicken Award to someone called Mortard (definition, hovering dangerously on the border between being a moron and a retard), and joined Dawn Raid in the award, with CB getting dobbed for swearing (it’s a Family Hash, CB). The reasoning provided by DMT was the Joker Face that Dawn Raid had painted on at the Jazz festival, making him too scary for the girls to dance with (wait a second, then the award should have gone to those too chicken to dance with him!).

The GM, in trying to regain control of the circle nominated Slim Shady for the Verbal Diarrhoea Award as background noise levels always get enhanced when she is at Hash. She tried a rebuttal about being snubbed by Screamer that failed. CB nominated his mate Joe for Worst Security Guard after progressively losing all of CB’s stuff on the beach. SOTB nominated the GM for a job well done, before the Hosts (Wahoo, Poumuli, Norman) and Hare (Dawn Raid) were saluted.

A feast of special pork and chicken BBQ, salads from Manumea and some other stuff was dished up on banana leaves. Unfortunately your Scribe tasted not an iota of this so let’s just hope it was edible.

Next week’s run will be hosted by Brynne and Susan at Susan’s place in Vaoala. It’s going to be a Red Dress Run, so check the blog for details. Screamer will be scribing next week, but may need assistance for the next three hashes, so volunteers please. Your Scribe is off to Mexico for three weeks.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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