Monday, August 22, 2011

Hash Trash 1582

Hash Father’s Day Run

It was a glorious sunny Monday for Father’s day Hash, hosted by Steakman (aka Dirty Old Fart). There were rounds of scrabble, drinks a plenty, and good vibes all round.
The run was set by Steakman (D.O.F.) with toilet paper which he generously recycled after the run. This made some Hasher’s uneasy about using the loo but it was recommended to not use the loo paper that already has shit on it. Minds were eased…
The Hash circle was about to begin when drama on the high seas occurred. Uki, frind of Ninja, was using a paopao for the first time and capsized. CB was encouraged by the entire audience (Hasher know when a good show is about to happen) to grab his paopao and save Uki’s butt. Begrudgingly he did so and hence the title “CB to the Rescue” was chosen for this part of the evening’s entertainment. Needless to say both Uki and CB made it back to shore where no one was given moth-to-mouth much to Steakman’s disappointment!
Newbies: Uki was initiated into the group with a downdown and reminded that he should stick to fa’apapa rather than fa’apaopao. Sondra, Ben’s wife was also introduced to the group and happily chugged her downdown.
Retreads: Ladyfinger and his lady, and Nija and Co all returned to the fold.
Hero Award: Godfather was given the hero award for bringing ice to Tafatafa to guarantee cold beverages! Bravo!
CB to the Rescue Award: CB was given a downdown for saving Uki when we all agreed it would have been more entertaining to watch him float off to Tonga.
Beer Queen Award: was given to Titty G. for bringing extra beers to keep the Hash crew hydrated.
Beach Bum Award: was given to Hookalua and Lorry for saving the fale in order for Hash to have some where to rest its feet.
Beefcake Award: was given to Slimshady for MC-ing Mr. Samoa Bodybuilding Contest.
Springbok Beating Award: Damon and Mark downdowned for Aussie’s triumph over SA deer.
Foul Hooker Award: was given to Lorry for a) ditching the GM’s butt and then going fishing without him only to catch a scrappy ass little fish.

Flex-a-Pec Award: Slim shady awarded Captain Mortein this award for flexing his pecs at her in hopes of being compared to the Mr. Samoa contestants. Good effort but no gold.
Beer Biyatch Award: CB awarded the GM this award for drinking a case of HASH beer “on purpose”.
Leaning Tower of Dirty Old Fart Award: was given to steakman for leaning on the Hash tent.
WTF??? AWARD: Godfather gave this award to Steakman for rambling on in an incoherent fashion.
Too Smart for His Own Good Award: was given to Ladyfingers for wining the Cancer Society Trivia Night (Slim was given a downdown for self-promotion).
Shut the F Up! Award: Was given to Steakman in hopes that he would be too drunk to ramble incessantly any more.
It wasn’t Me Award: false accusation given by GM for latent retread. GM drank begrudgingly (very unusual).
Show ME The Beans Award: was given to Slimshady from Eveready for not bringing her bean salad, scribe pen, and ass to Hash last week.
Hard Ass Award: Given to Susan for what else? Having a hard ass upon which she fell while running.
Pain in the Butt Award: Was given to GM for being a pain from entire Hash Circle.
Prick Award: Oddly, not given to GM this week but handed over to Steakman who is officially Hash’s biggest prick to date.
Are We there yet? Award: Given to Spanky from Slimshady because after noticing they were an hour late wondered “if they would get to Hash late”. Physics still works the same at Tafatafa.
Sleeping Beauty Award: Given to Ninja, Uki, and Koabayahis for falling asleep at Hash Circle.
Runners offered their names for the Perimeter run and Do Me Twice said to contact her for those who wish to offer support.
And a good Hash was had by all.
Slim Shady

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