Thursday, November 03, 2011

Hash Trash 1594

The Hash was hosted at Screamer’s house in Siusega by Spanky, Hornithologist, Colm and Beccy. The hare was Hornithologist who had set the run on flour, which had us worried given the recent rains and the predilection of the local dogs to eat such flour. Oh well, we bravely set out right out the gate – no no no, she meant left – women! On to the Tafagata road for a while, right into the back of Aleisa, when eventually we found a totally confusing false trail along the fence of the Orator Hotel. We realised we could have pushed through, but someone found a new trail on the tracks behind the hotel, and then it was largely on home down past the HUGE church at the corner in Siusega and into the yard for the tumescent sweet nuts of Godfather. All in all a good run, exhausting false trails, unsafe hash marking – we need to be running AGAINST the traffic, and it didn’t rain.

SOTB was to sweaty to wear his Cartman Mask for the circle, so it was an undisguised GM who called things to order. The newbies to Hash were Beccy from Canada, brought by Hornithologist. The rethreads were Tramp, Einstein, Tooth Fairy, Karaoke, Eveready and Slippery. Explanations were too long and your Scribe was swatting at the on-off light to see his writing.

Celebrity Awards went to FBI (Observer photo, Captain Mortein was deemed closest living relative), Ninja (also in the paper, taken by Yuki), and POD (looking like a lady at the ball, so SOTB had to take it with no Lewinsky in sight). This Day in History Awards went to Sondra and Spanky (JFK announced idea of Peace Corps, 1960), Einstein (Prussia stole Schelswig-Holstein from Denmark, 1864) and Captain Mortein (Congress of Vienna made Denmark give Norway to Sweden, 1814). A special Day of Remembrance for Victims of Political Repression went to the GM for all the pain he puts the entire Hash through.

The GM had some special awards to hand out namely a Shortcutting Bastard Award to Swinger for pushing through along the Orator fence. Then there was the unlikely story of a Hasher being caught red-handed ogling a voluptuous girl on the way to Hash, so a Perved But Got Busted Award went to Godfather. Hashmanlike Behaviour I say!

Then there was the Hash Mere who had acted without really thinking, stomping a coconut shell to get it open wearing jandals. Well the coconut bit back. A Stupidity Award to Witch Doctor, and an accompanying one for Poumuli for showing her the trick in the first place. Eveready and Karaoke had been to Las Vegas, and had brought back a Vegas mug, sold by Spanky’s twin, and she was joined by Sassygirl BJ for not bringing the Hash Mugs.

Last week we had the fake quack award for Ali, and this time he came in scrubs, so the Thieving Hospital Property Award went to Ali. Then there was the Bad Parenting Award to Ben for teaching Lucas to swim by means of throwing him into the pool. Poor boy was traumatized and spent the rest of the evening playing under the tarp with the little girls. Oh, more Hashmanlike Behaviour!

Opening up for nominations, Poumuli had received one of those scam emails offering heaps of money, and the identity was given away as the man, one Abdul Wahid, signed that he was Eveready! Nigerian Email Scam Award to Eveready. Sassy nominated Captain Mortein for the Sweeping Untrue Statement Award, claiming that he cooks every day, and noting the fact that Snake had to fix the BBQ.

Sassy also nominated Wahoo and Pirate Princess for chatting up the pool guard – Flagrant Hussy Vixens Award! The GM did a contest for the best dressed hasher at the circle, and nominated 60 and 9’er, Tooth Fairy, Colm and Hornithologist. Tooth Fairy got this one by far for impersonating an insane dentist. Wait a minute…
Ali wanted to nominate Ida and Shideo for not meeting him to go up Mt Vaea, but he couldn’t remember their names, called them Inky and Binky, and the GM decreed that Ali join for probably scaring them out of their wits. Yeah, a fake doctor, what pleasant company for a tramp in the dark forest! Poumuli nominated Screamer for going in the pool rather than running.

The Hosts and the Hare were saluted as the food was finally ready.

Check the blog for next week’s run. There will be a sign up sheet for Hash 1600 Run, available in small, medium, large and XL, in cotton or microfiber, colours white, blue, green or red, so come prepared. They will be approximately 25 tala each.

Finally a photo of what Captain Mortein could look like if he pisses off Pirate Princess ever.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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