The Hash was hosted by Lewinsky and POD at Taumeasina. A
lovely cool afternoon for a run, and the trail had been set by Crime. Out of
the reserve we followed the road and turned up right after the church. Into the
Fagalii area there were a few missed trails, but this held the pack together
nicely. As Crime had alternated sides of the road it was a bit complex to find
the trail at times. Past the small airport we arrived at the golf course, where
the hardier runners started to go down the long way. This turned out to be a
false trail, so they had to come back and follow the slower down to the coastal
road. We arrived back at the house thirsty for Godfather’s rejuvenating nuts.
Julia Gillard the GM was present although not running, and
called the circle to order. But first there was the question of the run number,
with your Scribe steadfastly insisting that it was run 1734 and not 1735 as the
GM had been told by IRA. So the first award – Misleading the GM – went to IRA.
Those new to Hash were: Helene (Westpac) who had been
invited by Bwyan, Ben (Funtravel TV) invited by Meeegun and staying at
Stevenson’s, and John who had been brought by Da Head but advertised for Ford.
As a result we had the GM, Lewinsky, Overstayer and POD do a Rules Award.
The retreads were Possum, the GM, Swinger, Anya, Peter, Hot
Nuts, Screamer and Da Head. The GM then turned on our hosts and upbraided him
for the lack of Hash Mugs and the small size of the plastic ones on hand. Lewinsky
got to enjoy one.
On the run, the GM had been informed that Godfather had
stopped for some “relief”, forgetting the rule about no pissing on the Hare’s
Trail (draft Rules #30), but had also caused a young Hash Mere to have to zig
and zag. Godfather was joined in the Flags Aloft Award by Gayboy for stitching
him up.
The GM had invited Sassygirl BJ to a party and she had
responded that she was “going to get drunk and swing on a pole”. Well she
didn’t turn up to the party, as she had responded to the wrong invite, so the
GM wanted to know whence she had been swinging on a pole!
Then Gayboy had to be called into the circle as it would
appear that after a golf game he had tried to manhandle a fellow into his van.
A Pedobear Award to GB.
Turning to the Celebrity Awards, there was Crime (headline
“Survivor of crime”), the GM (husband-in-law’s photo), Sassy (large group
photo), Swinger (his mum in two photos), IRA (photo in Observer), Wahoo
(stepmum in photo), and a further double to Sassy (she had placed an ad for
Samoa Mini Golf and had used the Captains Hash Name not his real name!).
This Day in History Awards went to the GM and John (1903 –
The Ford Motor Company ships its first car), Gayboy (1938 – Douglas Corrigan
takes off from Brooklyn to fly the "wrong way" to Ireland and becomes
known as "Wrong Way" Corrigan), IRA (1997 – The Troubles: The
Provisional Irish Republican Army resumes a ceasefire to end their 25-year
campaign to end British rule in Northern Ireland), Lewinsky (1998 – A
diplomatic conference adopts the Rome Statute of the International Criminal
Court, establishing a permanent international court to prosecute individuals
for genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes, and the crime of aggression
– his Godfather was a ICC judge), Witch Doctor (2011 – Norway is the victim of
twin terror attacks, the first being a bomb blast which targeted government
buildings in central Oslo, the second being a massacre at a youth camp on the
island of Utøya) and ProBoner (World Day for International Justice
(International)).
Opening up for nominations, Da Head had been so looking
forward to getting his engraved mug from Overstayer, but Anya had picked it up
and was using it. Sassy then rather surprisingly nominate Gayboy for “hitting
on her”.
As they returned from the run and partook of Godfather’s nuts,
IRA had complained to POD that they were “too meaty”. This of course meant that
Hot Nuts took the Hard to Access Award. Gayboy had been to Samoana with family
on the weekend, and no staff there had told them that the Slushy machine had
alcohol in it. Once served to the kids and mothers a rather raucous family
outing ensued. When asking staff for someone to come and fix it, he was told
that only the boss knew how, and he was sleeping. Dereliction of Duty Award to
Possum.
POD nominated Bogan Barbie for an Encouragement Award, as
normally a wine drinker she had tried a beer, but had turned back to the wine.
She obviously needs more lessons!
Possum had been having some car trouble and had called up
John at Ford. Apparently when you take your foot off the gas the car
automatically brakes and slows down (duh!). John explained that this was a
newly installed safety feature! This failed on so many levels that both were
dubbed in, but joined by Da Head who had tried to intervene to also bring in
the GM, but used the wrong name.
Sassy wanted to nominate the bringers of certain guests for
not knowing the Hash Rules, but medical condition trumped her, so Sassy took
the award instead. Further on the golf theme, Gayboy had been invited to a day
out with the boys, and had been constantly hassled by the organiser to be there
on time. Who was late? Possum. Gayboy joined as he had brought his Mum to a
boys day out.
Hot Nuts got a Commiseration Award from Sassy, as he
complained that after being named no one hits on him anymore. Birthdays were
commemorated for Witch Doctor, Possum and Screamer.
Some announcements: there will be a farewell party at Ford
Motors on Saturday for the GM, with kegs. POD and IRA requested contributions
for the ½ Marathon fund raiser for SVSG. Swinger called for three more runners
for the Hash Team for the Perimeter Relay in September.
The Hare and the Hosts were saluted, joined by latecummer
One Infection.
Next week’s run will be hosted by the GM at Ford Motors in
Vaitele.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
