Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Hash Trash 1732

The Hash was hosted by Twin Peaks at his place on Bank Street. It was a lovely day for a run in the hills, but turn out for the run was small unfortunately. Crime had set the run along familiar paths to some of us. Down the road to the cow paddocks and all the way down to the creek. Here he had put a slightly more direct route up the other side – that is STRAIGHT UP! Well we managed, even your limping Scribe. At the top Crime had directed the pack down again to emerge below Mynas, but several backrunning bastards took the opportunity to go above instead and emerging unseen on Cross Island Road to chariot ride the rest of the way. Shameful behaviours – more on that later. For those who did the full run it was the usual uphill struggle past Mynas, laughing children pointing at you and a couple of dogs to dodge. Back on Bank Street Godfathers’ sweet dew-covered nuts were awaiting. 

The GM failed to show, so POD took on the reins. There were no newbies but several retreads – Da Head, Kamikaze (back from Japan for 2 weeks), One Infection, Poumuli and Overstayer. Kamikaze doubled his as he forgot his hat on. Witch Doctor performed the shoe inspection  which she failed.
Celebrity Awards went to Poumuli (Ford Ranger as prize in golf tourney), Crime (a crime had been reported) and Lewinsky (Lewinsky on TV show in USA).

This Day In History Awards went to One Infection (1892 – Western Samoa changes the International Date Line, so that year it had 367 days, with two occurrences of Monday, July 4), IRA, Overstayer and Twin Peaks (1900 – Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom gives Royal Assent to an Act creating Australia thus uniting separate colonies on the continent under one federal government), Da Head for Gayboy (1986 – The Parliament of New Zealand passes the Homosexual Law Reform Act legalising homosexuality in New Zealand) and One Infection (Feast Day of St Anthony).

Opening up for nominations, Sassygirl BJ was quick off the mark with her disappointment of not having someone to sit on at AC/DC’s wedding. Especially since several others there were getting quite frisky with each other. A Get A Room Award for IRA, One Infection, Lewinsky and POD.
IRA nominated Lewinsky for the Party Pooper of the Week Award, for refusing to do anything after the wedding than watch the boxing. Nor did he take the gang to OTR for the boxing either. Sassy had been chatting to Titty Galore, who was not well as she has been trying to slow Godfather down, as apparently he is acting like a 16 year old! Studmuffin Award to Godfather.

Sassy had of course also noticed the similarities between a white haired paedophile dude on TV and a certain Hasher, so Twin Peaks got the Rolf Harris Award, which was doubled due to inappropriate riposte from Twin Peaks. Sassy got her almost last award in to Crime for pimping for Hashers – no more information was given.

Poumuli managed to get in a Chariot Rider Award to One Infection, Wahoo, Sassy and Da Head. Witch Doctor followed with an account of the big rock fight at Vaimea, and that such a big crime needed to be noted. Crime was joined in this award by a resident – One Infection. Witch Doctor also took one for Ditch as a car did go in one at the scene.

Sassy had been recalling Kamikaze’s antics while with us last time and was rewarded with a braying laughter that she called a non-wife-magnet. Poumuli added the bit about tamaitai and was rewarded for remembering!

Godfather expressed his pride in how well turned out the Hash Meres were at AC/DCs wedding and his fascination for miniskirts. But he was disappointed that only Sassy had offered to dance with him – IRA, POD, Wahoo, Witch Doctor and Imelda stepped forward, joined by One Infection on behalf of his saucy number. Poumuli tried to point out that not all of them had been wearing miniskirts, so Godfather got an X-Ray Vision Award. Sassy gave Poumuli the Blind As A Bat Award, as she had definitely been in a mini.

Godfather was renominated by IRA for his beady eye, while One Infection joined for not pimping! Declaring his Multiple Personality Disorder, Poumuli nominated Bob from Trinidad for his awful singing and a No Woman No Cry No More Award.

IRA wanted to nominate POD for pushing her to do something she had never done before namely a fundraiser, but both took this. Godfather applauded Overstayer for her kind donations of Hash Mugs, but had been a bit taken aback by the pointy nipples on the peaks. As Overstayer prepared for her Alternative Art Award a Rolf Harris comment from Twin Peaks led him into the circle as well. POD nominated Godfather for an Ingratitude Award, knowing full well his penchant for things soft, pointy, otherwise titty.

Poumuli was inspired to tell the joke of the 80 year old man who goes to confession, having had sex with a 18 year old girl. When asked when he was last at confession, the Jewish fellow exclaimed that he was telling everyone. This was laughed at, backfired and yet another one for Poumuli.
Da Head nominated One Infection for going to mass every morning even though not Catholic either, but while laudatory Hash is unforgiving and a Meditation Award went to OI. Godfather finally nominated Crime for his Birthday Award. The Hare and the Hosts were saluted and a feast was had.

Watch the blog for next week’s run.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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