Thursday, July 17, 2014

Hash Trash 1733

The Hash was hosted at HQ 1 – On The Rocks – by Lewinsky, as per usual when the Hash is too lazy to find a venue. A live run was set with Rufie as the Hare. He took the pack on a tight run down to the clock tower and up through the streets to Palisi. Returning the pack got to tour the back streets of town, entering OTR via the Cop Shop car park. Godfather’s nuts were missing, as he was elsewhere.
POD again stepped in as GM and called the circle to order. There were no newbies, but the retreads were Transporter (keeping out of the Observer), Elle McJr (working) and Crash Bandicoot (too fit). Crime was appointed Shoe Inspector, but failed to find any new shoes.

Celebrity Awards went to Lewinsky (story on Clinton musical in NYC with “Sexual Relations” as one of the tunes), Sassygirl BJ (Damien was in paper) and Chicken Little (story on Dr Sass and the secret benefits of watermelons originally intended for Sassy).

This Day in History Awards went to Kamikaze (1942 – World War II: An American pilot spots a downed, intact Mitsubishi A6M Zero on Akutan Island (the "Akutan Zero") that the US Navy uses to learn the aircraft's flight characteristics. These were of course used as…), Elle McJr for One Infection (1985 – The Greenpeace vessel Rainbow Warrior is bombed and sunk in Auckland harbour by French DGSE agents, killing Fernando Pereira) and Crash (Feast Day of St Francis).

The GM began her round of nominations for the World Cup by inviting any German related Hashers (Lewinsky Schmidt), Brazilian referees (Kamikaze’s near waxed head), Argentinean colours (Witch Doctor) and Dutch (Cockblocker van Dick).

POD also nominated Blowfish for the Drunken Mama Award, having been in fine form, called Rufie to come pick her up but then asked Crash to drive her home, causing Rufie anguish by searching for her and then finding her in – partly - bed. Rufie joined her for a Superman Award as she was not sporting any black eyes.

At the weekend there were also reports of Hashers causing a disturbance in town, and while it turned out that Crash and Chicken Little had been at the defending end, still a GBH Award was given. However since a crime had been committed they were joined by – Crime.

Chicken Little informed the Hash that he had assisted Lewinsky procure a greenhouse, but that it had taken him a month to put it up. While an All Thumbs Award was warranted for Lewinsky the GM put it to the circle that an agricultural grand poobah like CL should have offered more assistance. Of course the vote went thus.

Sassy is of course always promoting local businesses and nominated Elle McJr as his coconut tarts had a Minister raving, and we can’t have Ministers going around praising tarts. Transporter we also know has a fairly strict Confucian attitude to business opening hours, and for not respecting these he nominated POD and Lewinsky for turning up at 4 PM on a Sunday for a car fix.

Dreading the boomerang, Poumuli nominated CB for not giving him a ride from the airport. CB claimed no ask – boom boomerang. And for some reason Crash and Transporter had to join in this Incompetence Award.

Speaking of cars, Sassy had had an incident whereby her car wouldn’t start and had been blessed by the Samaritan efforts of Elle McJr – who had watered her car. No one could really fathom this one, but Elle is a good sport. So much so that he successfully nominated Sassy for NOT watering her car.

A belated Latecummer Award was given to Chicken Little, but he pulled in Lewinsky who had been calling him Farmer Joe the whole night. A birthday award was given to Imelda da Welda, with Poumuli getting dragged in for the vicious rumour that he has a gay dog.

Further traffic mayhem was reported by Lewinsky in that Transporter had caused a major traffic jam, with the cops trying to move things along etc. Very much etc etc as this became an FBI Award for Lewinsky and a double for Transporter with his sunglasses. Rufie nominated Blowfish for the Mongrel of the Week Award, but sadly we were not able to pry out the details. Wahoo got a double leaning award.

Back to small businesses in Samoa, Transporter nominated Elle McJr for finally becoming a Big Boss by firing two employees – apparently he liked firing the first one so much he couldn’t stop and fired one more. Chicken Little then got revenge on the rest who had been misnaming him – Sassy, Rufie, Transporter and CB, and the chicken himself!

Poumuli knew that there had been another Hash birthday, but since Screamer wasn’t around that perhaps someone who got lost looking for her at SPREP should take it – POD. Transporter offered a Good Husband Award for Crash who has been spotted squiring his good lady around town three weeks in a row.

Kamikaze got the Leavers Award, and we then saluted the Host and the Hare (joined by CB for pushing it on the Palisi hill), before we ate some Sunrise food derived from various feline sources around town.
Next week’s run will be hosted by POD and Lewinsky and their darling brood at Taumeasina

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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