Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Hash Trash 1743

The Hash was hosted at On the Rocks – HQ1 – as Gayboy had to “pull out” again. POD the GM acted as host as Lewinsky was “fishing”. We had Rufie as a live hare and set off down Beach Road towards Aggies, then around to the wharf. It became obvious that Cockblocker and Godfather were trying to be “seen exercising” by the sundry paddlers.  Rounding past the wharf and down Vaiala beach, up to the UNDP office where the slower runners took the shortcut on home. The rest went off down the river and around the back roads before we all rejoined for the circle at HQ1. Perfectly chilled nuts from Godfather were in evidence. 

The GM called the circle to order rather early as Godfather had to depart for a paddling meeting. First up we had the celebrities – Godfather (sister in the paper, Swinger’s mum, so a double), CB and Poumuli (photos in Earth Negotiations Bulletin from SIDS), Crime (“well-known criminal in Samoa” robs the visiting canoes) and Rufie (Man accused of drugging backpackers).

The retreads were Crash Bandicoot (looking after kids, doubled for cellphonus), Rachel (no excuse) and Schumacher. The Shoe Inspector Snake enthusiastically went after Crime’s new ones, thereby missing Rufie’s. Thus all three of them got a shoe to drink from.
This Day in History went to Snake as married to closest living relative of Transporter (1906 – The Newport Transporter Bridge is opened in Newport, South Wales by Viscount Tredegar), POD for Lewinsky the Ninja Bomber (2007 – Russia tests the largest conventional weapon ever, the Father of All Bombs), Crash for Eveready (International Chocolate Day) and POD (Feast Day of St Ariane of Phrygia).

The GM then launched her awards, first of all for a Hasher who has been away for some 7 years, then came last week, only to perform an oesophageal acid wash after too many down downs. Schumacher got the Call of the Moose Award.

Then at the food and wine fair, while Godfather had been sitting down to eat, one Hasher had changed his daughter’s diapers right then and there at the table. Poumuli tried all sorts of appeals, even the false claim that it had been number 2 instead of just 1, so a double was administered. How many other Hash Fathers have done the same?

Opening up the floor, Snake nominated POD for cutting him off at high speed outside the Snakepit. As this was a Schumacher Award there was a lapse in the GM’s poise here. The GM then nominated Wahoo for her Supermodel Award for the show on Saturday. At that point we welcomed her Dad Norman into the circle.

Crash was trying to recount what sounded like a horrifying experience for Lewinsky’s kids involving the back of a truck and some fishing hooks, but it went on too long so a Verbal Diarrhoea Award went to Crash. Snake then nominated Wahoo for not teaching her Dad the Hash Rules – smoking, leaning and talking in the circle. Snake also wanted to nominate those who had not had an award yet, but this was too early in the game for the GM so she gave one to Snake.
The GM and Blowfish then set up the raffle for the prizes in support of their Perimeter Relay charity, and this was drawn by Norman. Tammy won the asi asi and the wahoo, Swinger and BB won the masi masi, Mr Whippy got the 100 tala bar tab at OTR, and Snake got the fia fia night at Sinalei. Snake then suggested that the drawer should get a down down, and he was joined by Wahoo for yelling at him about chatting up little girls.

Now the GM gave awards to those not yet benefitting – Overstayer, Witch Doctor, Blowfish, Imelda da Welda, and Crime for leaning. Wahoo then gave Poumuli the Husband of the Year Award for buying the dress she was wearing at the fashion show. He was joined by Witch Doctor for dancing in the circle.

Rufie caught Crime smoking in the circle, while Snake joined him as he was “sick of holding his nuts” the whole time. Lewinsky got the Latecummer Award.

As we were closing, POD told the circle to watch the blog as we have three potential hosts for next week. As the Host and the Hare were saluted we were treated to some rather over exuberant singing from Lewinsky, which we all can guess how was rewarded!
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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