Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Hash Trash 1744

The Hash was hosted by Rufie and Blowfish at their place in Vaivase. Crap directions having been provided to the Scribe, it took some time for the pack to assemble. But eventually off they went out the gate – to where a truck was waiting around the corner. This drove them a little while until the run started – straight up Cross Island Road to the Museum, where the truck again awaited. Stragglers and short cutters were picked up on the way down and it was dark when the truck rolled in to the house. Godfather’s sweet succulent nuts were greedily sucked down by the runners.

Princess of Darkness our GM called the circle to order. There was one newbie – Marina from Spain, who is here looking for a place to stay and a job. While she got the rules right on naming Do Me Twice by her Hash Name, she hadn’t followed the advertising rule, so DMT got the first one of the evening.
The Retreads were DMT, Swinger, Cougar, Transporter (double for using Lewinsky’s daily name) and Divine. IRA and Charlie were given an extra for not declaring retread status. Latecummers Gayboy and Tina were also put in the circle.

Schumacher was appointed Shoe Inspector, but he couldn’t make any (bad pun). Celebrity Awards went to Prince, Godfather, Titty Galore, Rufie, Gayboy and Transporter for sundry photos in the Observer related to the paddling competition, with Wahoo taking one for 9’er and Cockblocker for Fireman Sam.

This Day in History went to Witch Doctor (1692 – The last people hanged for witchcraft in England's North American colonies takes place), Gayboy (1999 – Chi-Chi earthquake occurs in central Taiwan, leaving about 2,400 people dead), POD (International Talk Like A Pirate Day – she was tricked earlier in the day to do so) and Poumuli (International Day of Peace).

Latecummer Murray joined the circle and undeclared celebrity Justine who had been posting photos of herself with Helen Clark. Transporter took one for Elle Mc Jr, who at the opening of the Avenue Bar was wearing a $4 shirt from Mamas, thus a Mamas Boy Award.

The GM noted that we don’t have a lot of blondes in the Hash, but today one Hash Mere turned into one. Titty G had been with the truck as it was commencing to follow the pack, and in starting the truck one has to build up some air and go forward. Why not save time and go backwards, she asked? This was further exacerbated by the fact that Godfather had been met by Sassygirl BJ upon his return in the falling darkness.

Speaking of the run, it was an arduous one, and Godfather was almost at the top when Swinger told him to go back. But he pushed on together with IRA. Thinking that Swinger was ahead, he was shocked to find they were all alone – and Swinger had told the pack that Godfather had turned back. Swinger received the Dangerously Erroneous Information Award.

Swinger had been at the beach on Sunday and claimed that in helping Poumuli empty the coals into a too small hole Poumuli had burned his foot. Your Scribe pointed out that the burn happened earlier in the day and that the coals would have fitted nicely if Swinger hadn’t had such pisspoor aim. Unfortunately the vote democratically awarded them both the Firewalker Award.

We then received a rare appearance from the Mad Monk of Apia Hash, who proceeded to name budding All Black Jack, who shall henceforth be know as Jack Sprat. She also called on his sister, who shall henceforth be known as Catfish. Of course the proud parents Rufie and Blowfish received the anointing on their behalf.

Opening up for further nominations, Rufie gave CB the Good Mate Award for giving him the flu by dumping him on the porch while in his cups. This was really an Average Wife Award. In a similar vein, Cougar nominated her darling husband, after a big week, had spent a night out with Gayboy at Sunrise and had left the doors open. Or something. Crash Trash Award.

POD on behalf of the Hash perimeter relay team then presented Godfather with 4100 tala that they had collected for the charity, followed by a down down for POD, Blowfish and Overstayer. Poumuli nominated Sassy for the Facebook (Frequent User) Award, and she was joined by Rufie. This is what your Scribe thinks of constant requests for like this or that...

Godfather and Rufie were given a Hash Birthday song, later joined by CB who had completely ignored and not mentioned DMT’s birthday at the Samoana Hash, or told her that it was being held at Samoana!

Next week’s run will be hosted by Gayboy at the house in Vaitele, Crime will Hare. The week after will be Prince also in Vaitele. Watch the blog for details.

The Hare and the Hosts were saluted together with Latecummer Rory.

Next three weeks we will have Assistant Trainee Scribes starting with Swinger.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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