Friday, February 27, 2015

Hash Trash 1765

Another glorious Pink Run was hosted by Eveready and Karaoke in Lotopa. A rather warm day for a run, but the Hash turned out in numbers, gloriously festooned in pink as well as pink-related regalia. Crime had set the run, and we suspected little as he was not noticeably dripping. Off we went down the Papasea road to the main airport road. Turning left with no one checking the trail took us to the next road turning left (Tulaele street I think) and we proceeded straight to the Talimatau road. There was a turnoff over the ford for the walkers but not all took it as it was rather slippery. The main trail then turned down left and on home. So the walkers did a square and the runners a rectangle. Godfather is overseas, so Lewinsky had procured (he claimed) somewhat larger than usual nuts.
Eveready took on the role as GM, and called the newbies into the circle. These were Vanya and Morten from Norway (guests of Witch Doctor), Steve and Gillian (new at Apia Fish Exporters), Pologo and Jill (from Hawaii, cousins of Eveready) who had been brought by someone called Dolf. Down down for the GM.

The retreads were also numerous – Screamer (busy packing), Twin Peaks (excruciating medicals), Mr Whippy (babysitting), Crash Bandicoot (looking after Cougar), Offspring (researching the Kama Sutra), Junior (math test) and Cougar (tried to blend into the furniture).
Celebrity Awards went to Vai Vai (letter to the editor) taken by that other, elderly antipodean Murray, Gayboy (headline about the Michelangelo of buttock injections) taken by Lewinsky, and Poumuli for missing the photo of IRA.

No shoe inspector was sent around, and Poumuli avoided an award as he had to drink twice from his shoes in Vanuatu where they strain the beer first through your sock! But Twin Peaks and Mr Whippy were both found guilty as charged.

This Day In History Awards went to the Norwegians (1472 – Orkney and Shetland are pawned by Norway to Scotland in lieu of a dowry for Margaret of Denmark), Cockblocker (1649 – The Second Battle of Guararapes takes place, effectively ending Dutch colonization efforts in Brazil), Slippery (1739 – Richard Palmer is identified at York Castle, by his former schoolteacher, as the outlaw Dick Turpin – a slippery dick indeed) and Offspring (India beat South Africa in cricket for the first time in history).

The GM had several awards ready but none of his victims were present so he opened it up for nominations. Sassygirl BJ started off with a tribute to the two hash meres who had come to her aid even on Valentine’s Day and installed her new trash can – Witch Doctor and Imelda da Welda. The GM noted there were many returnees to Hash, but that one in particular had come to all the Pink Runs and had always implored the GM to sell him his motorbike, and after he relented had never come back. For some reason Poumuli was deemed to be the closest living relative.

POD nominated IRA for the Indecent Exposure Award for stripping down and swimming at the Marina during a business function. Poumuli nominated Crime for the Alzheimers Award, for forgetting about the road side change and setting the run with traffic not against. POD pointed out that Crash was supposed to have helped but also forgot so he joined in.

Poumuli and the GM nominated Lewinsky. No reason. He was joined by Hobbes and Mrs Hobbes who had skipped the retreads. Murray had stressed over the need to wear pink and was upset that many had not made similar efforts  so Screamer and Titty Galore were given the award.

Poumuli nominated CB for not owning up to being a retread, while Sassy nominated Poumuli for usurping her role as maestro. The Hare and the Hosts were saluted – Eveready, Karaoke, Cougar and Crime. We also sang Happy Birthday for Cougar and Junior.

Next week’s run is will be at IRA’s in Palisi, then the week after at Sassy’s for the Return of the Son of The Bitch – watch the blog.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

No comments:

Post a Comment