Friday, May 15, 2015

Hash Trash 1776

The Hash was hosted by Godfather and Titty Galore this beautiful Mother’s Day at Sinalei. Hashers started arriving in the morning to watch the outrigger regatta, and we set off on the run around 2 PM. It was not as hot as some other times at this venue, and the pack followed the trail up to the main road. The trail appeared to go left and we set off on a long amble in that direction, but a cross was found. Poumuli went to check the road down to Lupe’s and was sure he had found the trail, and went on home. The rest of the pack went back reacquired the trail and went for a somewhat longer run.

The GM called the circle to some sort of order and invited the newbies to introduce themselves. These were Aude from SPC, Alex and Kelly, volunteers brought by Sassygirl BJ. The retreads were Crash Bandicoot, Wahoo, Cougar, Swinger, Sunny Side Up, Luaao, Wacko, Captain Mortein, Titty G and Dumass/Spellcheck.

Cockblocker was reminded that he needed to inform his guests of the rules – forget what it was but he got his first down down. Celebrity Awards went to Gayboy (SHA considers “gay tourism”), Godfather (picture in paper of Godsister and quote from GF) and Hornithologist (photo from the Samoa Jazz Night).

This Day in History Awards went to Alex (he’s a Pom - 1386 – England and Portugal formally ratify their alliance with the signing of the Treaty of Windsor, making it the oldest diplomatic alliance in the world which is still in force), Captain Mortein (1864 – Second War of Schleswig: The Danish navy defeats the Austrian and Prussian fleets in the Battle of Heligoland), Twin Peaks (1901 – Australia opens its first parliament in Melbourne, and 1927 – The Australian Parliament first convenes in Canberra), Poumuli (1940 – The Norway Debate in the British House of Commons begins, and leads to the replacement of Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain with Winston Churchill three days later) and Aude and Kelly (Europe Day).

Murray then unveiled a Tittygram that he had procured for Godfather in the form of a t-shirt, but a From Russia With Love Award went to Titty G, joined by the tittygiver.

Swinger was appointed Shoe Inspector, and failed. The GM then gave Poumuli a False Trail Award, joined by Wacko and Crime.

Opening up for nominations, Twin Peaks had been annoyed at reading that there was a Kiwi impersonating him as a disgruntled Ozzie, this lead to an Unacceptable Gruntled Award. Karaoke was nominated for taking part in the Kids Regatta and loosing the 1st race.

Murray had overheard a disturbing conversation, and nominated Swinger for talking about kissing the Captain’s feet. Murray joined the Fetish Award for sharing  this grossness with the circle. Sassy nominated Slim Shady for nearly falling in the ditch, while Captain Mortein had a cellphonus interruptus moment.

While CB was awarded for calling Slim Shady by her real name, Sassy nominated for his No 1 Medal as offensive display on Mother’s Day. Godfather had been chatting with another proud father earlier, whose daughter had pood in the water. Poumuli got the CB Impersonator Award.

Bogun Barbie was awarded for dodging the retreads awards, while Murray failed to get IRA for dodging the EU Day. However Wahoo succeeded in getting an Indecent Bastard Award for Poumuli for leaving them that morning to go to a meeting in town.

Godfather was proud to welcome back Wacko and Luaao, since he had run with AH3 in the very early days, and it was their wedding anniversary. They had actually met at Hash. He also recounted how the name had been awarded, as Wacko had been lost on a run, the cops had to be called, and he only sauntered back at 5 AM the next day.

The Hash then sang Happy Birthday to Sassy, who was presented with a cake shaped as a blue penis.
The Hosts and Hare were saluted before a magnificent meal was consumed.

Next week’s run is at Twin Peaks on Bank Street in Vaoala.
On On

Poumuli, IKA Slit

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