Friday, August 14, 2015

Hash Trash 1789

This was the Fathers Day Hash and was hosted by Godfather and Titty Galore at Poutasi, in olden days a feudal fief of Godfather’s ancestors, but today has been charmingly turned into a feudal fief. The Hashers started arriving at noon, as it was a beautiful day and the water looked inviting. So did the keg for many. Thus when POD called the circle to start the run, there was some apologetic looking sods hanging around who were obviously not going to follow our live hare – Godfather. Given his standing in Hash, as well as the likely risk of being beaten to within an inch of your life by the strapping men who care for his nuts, rule 24 was held in abeyance. Thus we set out at an ambling pace along the road, and onto the rather nice beach. Godfather then detoured into the bushes, while nobody noticed that Poumuli breached rule 30. Catching up with the runners was no problem, and the ambling pace became even more amblinger. Godfather appointed Lewinsky as assistant hare, which allowed Poumuli to attempt to pull his shorts down when he caught up to him. Fortunately or not, depending on your perspective, Lewinsky’s shorts were tied on tighter than Scotsman grip on a penny. The run ended up on the main road, from whence we turn back towards the Poutasi slip road and on home.

POD called the circle to order, and called for newbies to come forward. There was Kristiane, who was brought by Poumuli, and who came here to make a climate change documentary, but decided to stay on to look for more work. There was also Tom from Germany, who has moved to Poutasi and was invited by Godfather.

The retreads were Cougar (lost), Crash Bandicoot (co-lost), Wahoo (no excuse), Aaron and Faumina (overseas). Claudia was appointed Shoe Inspector, but failed, and was joined by Iapi for missing retreads and Speedhumper who had brought new shoes last time and skipped out.

Celebrity Awards went to Slim Shady (someone purporting to be the real Slim Shady was in the paper) and Poumuli (not inventive enough story to get Cockblocker or CLR an award).

This Day in History went to Twin Peaks (1858 – The first Australian rules football match is played between Melbourne Grammar and Scotch College – also known as the Incomprehensible Game), Lewinsky (1947 – Thor Heyerdahl's balsa wood raft the Kon-Tiki, smashes into the reef at Raroia in the Tuamotu Islands after a 101-day, 7,000 kilometres (4,300 mi) journey across the Pacific Ocean in an attempt to prove that pre-historic peoples could have traveled from South America), Murray now the disgruntled Englishman (2003 – The highest temperature ever recorded in the United Kingdom – 38.5 °C (101.3 °F) in Kent, England. It is the first time the United Kingdom has recorded a temperature over 100 °F (38 °C)) and Witch Doctor (991 – Essex is defeated by Vikings).

The GM’s awards were inventive to say the least. She had been watching NZ news when someone was reported to be the Godfather of the Ukulele, thus an Impostor Award to Godfather. Turning to Sporting History Awards, Aaron took one for the quickie loss of the Ashes, Crash for the All Blacks loss and Kristiane for the Ferns loss.

Latecummer Cedric was invited to join the circle, with Titty G who had invited him but he forgot her name. Cougar was also given an Advertising Award.

Poumuli had been to Kuala Lumpur and had failed to find the Mother Hash on his one day available, and had been dumb enough to vent about this on Facebook. Another Latecummer, Spellcheck or Dumass joined the circle.

Opening up for nominations, Murray was concerned about the misunderstandings about where he was disgruntled from, but since he is also Canadian he was joined in the Oh Canada Award by Witch Doctor as everyone assumes from her accent that she is Canadian.

Slim Shady nominated Titty G for the Art Appreciation Award for her purchase of a precious comb. Another latecummer Xavier was asked to join the circle. Poumuli nominated Crime for the crime spree that ensued after the prison escape, with Tom joining for leaning.

A Poor Communications Award was offered by Slim Shady to Nicholas and Nessa for missing meeting on the weekend, but the vote made Slim Shady join.

The Hare and the Hosts were saluted, joined by Lewinsky and Crime and we feasted til the sun went down.

Next week will be hosted by Poumuli, Wahoo and Yahoo at Bank Street in Vaoala.

On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit

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