The Hash was hosted by Hot Nuts and Nutcracker at the Nuthouse
in Vailima, set back on a scenic plateau. It had been raining a lot that day so
it seemed relatively cool, but impressions were soon to be changed. Hot Nuts
came back from the swim, er run, looking like he had been taken through a
carwash backwards. He left puddles! So with some trepidation we set out on his
Mt Vaea Magic Carpet Ride. Well marked trail led us up the Cross Island Road,
down towards the botanical gardens and into the trail leading to the top. But
the trail appeared to head off towards SPREP, so off we trudged. This was a
false trail, so we tried the Forestry Station trail where no markers were
found. This meant only one thing, or rather two. One, the true trail led up to
Mt Vaea, and two, the shortcutters went towards SPREP and out through the bush
to the Cross Island Road. Let’s recall that inside the forest the humidity was
at least 150%. If you opened your water bottle the level went up. The heat and
wet was far too much for some, thus a leisurely jomp down the hill seemed
prudent. Godfather’s sweet nuts were awaiting in the slight breeze, precious
relief after the wet heat of the woods.
Hot Nuts stepped in as GM and called the circle to order.
New to Hash were Amalia, a Greek-American brought by Bad Investment, and Toaimatagialetagaloalagi
introduced by parents Snatched and Pussysnatcher. Shoe Inspector Cunning
Linguist failed.
Retreads were Captain Mortein, Pirate Princess (held hostage
by Captain), Slim Shady (early Alzheimer), Swinger (retired), Cockblocker
(chasing gazelles), Snake (no work in Samoa), Kristiane (working late), Robert
(in Switzerland) and Gianluca (long story, awesome, great). After their
down-down Kristiane had another for wearing her cap on and Slim Shady for her
shadys.
Celebrity Awards went to Imelda da Welda for Roadrunner (in
paper and on tv), Poumuli (on tv), Swinger (for being a huge celeb while away)
and Hot Nuts (forget).
This Day in History Awards went to all the Oz Volunteers (1960
– While campaigning for President of the United States, John F. Kennedy announces
his idea of the Peace Corps, later copied by Oz), Snake (World Vegan Day –
biggest meat eater in Hash), Pussysnatcher (National Cat Day) and Swinger (Feast
Day of St James).
Opening up for nominations, Slim Shady nominated Snake for
the Piece of Shit Award – he had been on a cow farm in NZ, threw his boots in
bag covered in cow dung, and stood by while poor Samoan customs guy smelled then licked a piece off the boot.
Murray offered up the Biodiversity Geeks Award to Hot Nuts
for interrupting his enjoyment of the Jazz Festival with his talk of the joy of
maggots. Snatched gave an Indecent Award to Poumuli for showing up at a kids
Halloween party looking like a S&M mass murderer.
Gayboy got his Latecummer Award, while Poumuli nominated
Captain Mortein for the Catlike Reflexes Award for only spilling ¾ of his beer.
At the Jazz Festival Alex had been having a great time, but
the classy event was somewhat diminished by a Hasher who claimed to be no good
at dancing round and round, but excellent at the up and down – Crime. In this
regard Godfather thanked all those who had helped out but especially Sunny Side
Up for her dancing Red Hot Jazz Virgin.
Gayboy was deemed to also have been a retread, and
apparently had been seeing the aiga in Hong Kong. Snatched then expressed her
confusion at the varying lengths of shorts that Hot Nuts had been sporting, and
while this should have boomeranged as a Nut Fixation Award, he gamely took it.
The GM then gave his confusing RWC Award, for Ozzies
loosing, all the Samoans playing and the Kiwis for winning – this involved
Murray, Faumuina, Daz, Gayboy, Lewinsky and Strap On.
Snake nominated Swinger for the Poor Pommy Loser Award,
added to by Slim Shady for Gratuitous Promotion of World Tour Award – he brought
her a kitchen magnet! She joined for the Ungrateful Award as Nutcracker was
well pleased with her kitchen magnet.
Before the Hosts and the Hare were saluted we had a round of
thanks, love and gratitude from Slim Shady, Swinger and Godfather, while Gayboy
noted that his first Hash had been at the other Nuthouse. We were all invited
to come to the Kapiti Coast in NZ, and Hot Nuts emphasized the benefits for
people to get involved in the fellowship and community of Hash. Nutcracker, not
one for speaking up in the circle, thanked the Hash for making their stay in
Samoa special and for introducing them to community members and places they
would normally not encounter.
Godfather then brought up his being approached by SBC, and a
vote was taken as to whether we should switch. Unanimous to await. We then did
Goodbye My Feleni and Swing Low. Then we feasted.
Check the blog for next week.
On On
Poumuli, IKA Slit
